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    Robert Rex
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Stories posted in this category are works of fiction. Names, places, characters, events, and incidents are created by the authors' imaginations or are used fictitiously. Any resemblances to actual persons (living or dead), organizations, companies, events, or locales are entirely coincidental.
Note: While authors are asked to place warnings on their stories for some moderated content, everyone has different thresholds, and it is your responsibility as a reader to avoid stories or stop reading if something bothers you. 

Lion's Lair - 15. Ludicrous Speed

/

Jenay arrives at the bar, and Barry’s frozen in place, hands up at chest level. Jenay goes white at the realization of what’s happening, drops her and Dixie’s empty beer bottles on the bar where they clatter around for a few seconds—just long enough for everyone’s attention to be drawn to the bar.

Only the mournful sound of a low volume country song from the jukebox interrupts the now deadly silence of the bar.

The robber speaks to Barry in a low voice, his gun squarely aimed at Barry’s chest. When he finishes speaking, he waves his gun toward Jenay, then refocuses his sleeved-tattooed arm’s aim on Barry.

In a loud voice, Barry announces, “Ok, everyone … we’re being robbed. Everyone do exactly what I say, we’ll all be ok. Jenay, grab a trash can, go around, and everyone, throw your cell phones in the trash. Jenay, after you get every one of ‘em, put the trash can by the back door.”

Jenay, visibly shaken, does what Barry instructs, then comes to stand at the back of the table where she’d been sitting with Joe, Rex, Clayton, Ryan and all the others.

A few more words are spoken between the assailant and Barry as a couple of woven fabric grocery bags from Walmart are shoved across toward Barry. Just a low voice, no words are distinguishable. Again, Barry speaks loudly. “Everyone, Jenay is coming back around with a bag. Put your wallet, purses, watches—anything of value—into the bag. Jenay, when you’re done, put the bag over there, then go back to where you were, ok?” Barry points to the short end of the L-shaped bar, where there’s an opening that leads to the backroom dressing area of the performers, and, in the other direction, opens up to the bar’s main floor with adjacent stage. There’s a half wall holding up the short L of the bar. “Just put it at the end of the bar, ok?”

Jenay moves quickly through the crowd, places the partially-filled bag where Barry told her, then moves back to stand at her spot at the table. She glances quickly across the table at Dixie standing by the pool table. Dixie’s frozen to the spot wide-eyed in terror.

“Now, everyone move up on the stage.” Barry’s instruction at least puts some distance between the gunman and the bar’s crowd. Everyone moves quickly and quietly up to the stage, behind the table where Jenay now stands.

With that out of the way, Barry picks up the second bag the gunman had placed on the counter, turns around to the cash register, shifts from side to side on his feet before hitting a key. With the clatter of the printer, the register opens. Barry pauses for a moment then starts taking all the bills out from the busy night’s sales. When he finishes he turns around, and starts to hand the bag back over when he’s stopped by the thief’s voice.

“That’s not all. Gimmie the reserve bank. Y’all keep extra cash here, and I want that, too. NOW!” The voice is medium pitched, but with a low rumble and a slurred accent of Cajun French that reverberates through the still of the bar. There’s no music anymore to mask the eerie silence of the normally bustling crowd.

Barry moves to the far end of the bar, and reaches under it. A bell is heard, a drawer slides open. Inside there’s an additional $1,000 in a variety of bills the bar keeps to make change from the register’s drawer. Barry dutifully, deliberately takes the cash out by denomination, putting it in the bag, then starts to move to deliver the bag to the intruder. “OK, that’s all the cash.”

“Nice try, but there’s more. Open the night deposit safe, I want those, too.” People in the bar look at each other, not knowing what he’s talking about. “Speeditup, ah need to get out of here.” The slurred words indicate the bandit’s high has either kicked in, or is wearing off.

Underneath the “back bank” drawer is a small safe, bolted to the floor. There’s an electronic keypad lock on the front, and a small slot on the top, just big enough to accept the register’s printout and balancing sheets along with cash and credit card slips from each night’s business. All of that is stuffed into business-envelope-sized zippered bank bags for later processing.

Barry bends over, punches in the code. There’s a quiet “thunk” as the safe unlocks, Barry reaches inside and grabs as many bags as possible with his hand. He gets a second batch, too. There’s more than a week’s business inside that’s now in the gunman’s bag.

Barry stands, and starts walking down to the criminal, mindful of the gun that’s never wavered from his chest. “Ok, here ya go. Now get the fuck outta here.” The tension, and his anger, are getting to Barry. Were he on the other side of the bar, Barry would have attacked the guy by now; at 6’2, he stands 6 inches or so taller than the assailant, and weighs a good forty pounds more than the smaller-framed man. Only the gun—and fear of what would happen to the bar’s patrons—has stopped him so far.

At the table, there’s a conversation with eyes only going on between Joe and Ryan who are at the front edge of the table, both now facing the bar. Ryan looks down at his hand. Three fingers are resting on the armrest. Joe follows Ryan’s gaze downward, then backs up to look Ryan in the eyes. Ryan surreptitiously nods 3 times. Joe nods in agreement.

The gunman moves around, his cash bag hanging on his left forearm, his right hand still aiming the gun at Barry, as he moves to the bar’s short side to pick up the bag Jenay’s collected from the crowd. “Ok, I need a fast car. That piece of shit I’m in won’t do it. Who drives that big black Mer-Say-Dees sedan outside?”

No one says a word, but most of the crowd on the stage look toward Clayton. He’s been around the bar long enough most know what he drives.

“Fine. You’re coming with me.” The thug waves his gun at Clayton. “You’ll be my insurance. They won’t attack me with you there. And you must have money to be driving that, so you’re important. Even better.”

The grifter is at the end of the bar, wresting to get the bag Jenay’s collected from the crowd onto his tattooed left arm beside the bag of the bar’s cash. The gun is momentarily pointed at the floor as he struggles. Barry steps over toward the opening. “I’ve got a big Chrysler with a Hem ….”

In a drug-induced rage of both self-defense and anger, the robber’s hand with the gun swings up from his left side to backhand full force across Barry’s face. The effect is immediate.

Barry’s head bounces into the stucco-ed opening of the wall behind the bar with a resounding “pwop” that rings through the bar. He then falls forward, his face hitting the half-wall holding up the bar, then collapses to the floor, his bloody face half visible in the opening between the end of the bar and adjacent wall. His body is pretzel-contorted in a heap.

There’s a gasp from the crowd. A dent in the sheetrock where Barry’s head hit is clearly visible. Barry’s not moving.

“I’ve already got a fuckin’ car, you idiot!” The gunman is excitedly pacing, almost bouncing, in a small circle. He turns facing the table, the bags’ handles securely in his left hand. “Ok, Mr. Mer-Say-Dees, let’s go.” He waggles the gun at Clayton. Clayton sits frozen for a moment before starting to get up from the table and move forward.

Joe notices a movement out of the corner of his eye, and shifts his eyes over toward Ryan. There’s an almost invisible bobble to Ryan’s head, then a more obvious nod. A second nod. Then a third. Then everything goes crazy.

The Tesla Model S luxury electric car has a mode the driver can select that takes off almost all limits from its powertrain and chassis, firms up the suspension and steering, and basically transforms it into a race car. It sprints from 0-60 mph in 2.8 seconds. The acceleration puts a 1.1 g-force on the driver—meaning it’s faster than falling, more than gravity’s pull. And it races up to its speed-limited top of 155 mph in just 20 seconds. They call it the “ludicrous” mode.

Ryan is now in ludicrous mode.

With a power fueled by years spent in the gym since the loss of his legs, the merciless pushing he’s done to get prepped for his new legs, battle-tested courage, and protectiveness toward his lover, Ryan launches his wheel chair with ludicrous speed directly toward the robber. The chair zips the 15 or so feet toward the gunman at a pace the bar’s crowd can’t believe. Ryan rams directly into him, his right nub of a leg hitting the man directly in the balls. His aim was perfect.

The man’s eyes widen in both surprise and pain as he struggles to stand, and he moves his right hand, preparing to shoot Ryan. He didn’t count on Joe.

Joe’s behind Ryan by milliseconds. With his strength coming from years of hard labor, moving iron and sheet metal as a welder, Joe delivers a powerhouse upper cut to the jaw of the criminal, knocking him out almost instantly. Almost. There’s just enough time for the gunman to squeeze off a round from his gun as he collapses.

The thief lies unconscious on the floor in front of Barry’s lifeless body. There’s a small pool of blood underneath Barry’s head.

“Grab something to tie this guy up with!” Joe’s yelling, someone jumps over the bodies and heads into the back of the bar. Seconds later, there’s duct tape securely wrapped around the wrists and ankles of the bar’s intruder.

There’s a commotion at the door of the bar, and suddenly the bar is filled with both police and FBI agents, recognized by jackets with their large lettering. Four of the guys race over to where Joe and Ryan are over the unconscious felon. Handcuffing the guy, but leaving the tape in place, they manage to get him roused. One of the lawmen yanks the ski mask off.

It’s Benoit. Ben’s “partner”.

One of the cops moves over to Barry as there’s another commotion at the door. Dave’s 6’5” frame bursts through the open door, wearing boots, jeans, and a white button-down dress shirt. “Bulldog? BULLDOG?!” He’s yelling , then sees the deputy looking down at the pathway behind the bar. He freezes for a moment, then races around the bar to see Barry’s unmoving body.

He shoves the deputy out of the way, and squats in front of his prone lover. He reaches out his hand to check for a pulse in the carotid artery. Before he can find it, he jerks his hand back. It’s covered in blood.

“Oh, fucking shit no.” His face is a frozen mask of horror and pain, but he reaches back to try to find a pulse. He slumps forward and goes limp as the crowd of bar patrons and friends recoil in fear at what he’s found—or not found.

“He’s alive. Thank God.” Everyone breathes again with Dave’s words. “Get an ambulance. NOW! Come on, HURRY UP!” Dave’s relief is evident, but the pain—and rage--of seeing his lover like this contorts his face into an inhuman form. He’d cry out at the top of his lungs in frustration and hurt, but he somehow maintains control.

An ambulance must have been right behind the police cars; seconds later, Barry is loaded onto a gurney, and an IV has been started on him. Dave walks beside the gurney to the door, a bloody stain on his crisp white shirt—whether from his own bloody hand or being huddled over his lover is unknown--holding Barry’s hand, neatly sidestepping to let the gurney get through the door, then is gone from the bar as he rides the ambulance away with Bulldog.

Benoit, thankfully, had already been herded out to a waiting car, and whisked off to jail. “Thankfully”, only because had he stayed on the scene of his crime, most of the crowd believes Dave would now be facing a murder charge himself.

The bar patrons have broken down into small groups, leaning on each other as the adrenalin of the night runs out. They leave slowly, but the bar is finally empty, except for Joe and Rex, and Clayton and Ryan. Each man is holding his partner.

“You’re both heroes, guys, you know that, right? You saved all of us.” Rex looks between Joe and Ryan. Nothing else needs to be said. The energy flowing between each couple is nuclear.

Ryan looks at Joe and smiles. “Yeah, we make an ok team.” Both men laugh as the night’s tension dies down. Finally.

“Let’s get out of here guys. I’ll lock up.” Rex is moving to a spot behind the bar to turn off the lights.

“Yeah, let’s go home. We’ve got to celebrate Independence Day tomorrow—rather, today.” Clayton smiles, leaning in to kiss Ryan as the lights go out.

Thank you for sticking with this tale--let me know how I'm doing with likes, and better yet, your comments.
Copyright © 2016 Robert Rex; All Rights Reserved.
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Stories posted in this category are works of fiction. Names, places, characters, events, and incidents are created by the authors' imaginations or are used fictitiously. Any resemblances to actual persons (living or dead), organizations, companies, events, or locales are entirely coincidental.
Note: While authors are asked to place warnings on their stories for some moderated content, everyone has different thresholds, and it is your responsibility as a reader to avoid stories or stop reading if something bothers you. 
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Hey Rex...I'm a bit confused...would the authorities have left them all there without investigating the scene, dusting, and collecting evidence to get a sure fire conviction??? And would Barry's friends be more worried about celebrating a holiday when they don't know how badly he may have been injured??? Help me out buddy....just askin???? Are we to learn the answers next?

:unsure::worship:

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On 04/19/2016 09:36 PM, Onim said:

Hey Rex...I'm a bit confused...would the authorities have left them all there without investigating the scene, dusting, and collecting evidence to get a sure fire conviction??? And would Barry's friends be more worried about celebrating a holiday when they don't know how badly he may have been injured??? Help me out buddy....just askin???? Are we to learn the answers next?

:unsure::worship:

Sorry for the confusion, Onim! Perhaps I need to revise some things for clarity.

Keep in mind, all the rest of the bar was either up on the stage or at/behind the table. Once the police had done the initial work (at the bar and with Barry), they allowed everyone to leave. And, by nature, everyone "hung together" until the initial shock/adrenaline wore off.

I don't know that everyone else was so much focused on celebrating after all that; think it was more a sense of doing something normal/routine after the trauma of the previous night. It was a subdued group, after all, until they'd gotten the report on Barry. After that, they lightened up a bit, but still, most left instead of going to watch the fireworks.

Make sense? I may need to spell that out in more detail, but had hoped it'd come through without going into that detail. Let me know what you think.

Regardless, I appreciate your following along and your comments--and yes the next chapter (in final review) will give more details. I'm hoping to have it out Friday or maybe Saturday morning.

Thanks again, buddy!

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On 04/19/2016 11:05 PM, Daddydavek said:

Somebody really knows cars and the analogy worked.

LOL! Glad ya liked, Dad! And glad the analogy worked.

And yeah, I do like cars...and if you know cars, you've gotta admire the engineering that went into the Tesla.

Thanks for the comment!

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Very compelling and well done!!! I thought you describe the action in a way I could see the action. Barry's movements were clear and precise. It wasn't too descriptive which continued to supply a sense of urgency. I thought the dent in the dry wall was a very good touch. It displayed the power of the impact. You managed to explain how Ryan's wheelchair could be used as a weapon. Great job!!!

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On 04/20/2016 12:30 AM, Cole Matthews said:

Very compelling and well done!!! I thought you describe the action in a way I could see the action. Barry's movements were clear and precise. It wasn't too descriptive which continued to supply a sense of urgency. I thought the dent in the dry wall was a very good touch. It displayed the power of the impact. You managed to explain how Ryan's wheelchair could be used as a weapon. Great job!!!

Thanks, Cole!

I took a risk with this chapter, by changing the point of view; rather than using first person/present tense (my normal comfortable style), I thought that a third person/"fly on the wall" view would work better. And with the intensity of the situation, that point of view would highlight the action, rather than getting bogged down in details. I'm glad the chapter worked for you.

THANK YOU for reading along, commenting, and your support. I appreciate it more than you know!

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Fast and furious. :o I only have one question: where did the bullet go from the shot the robber managed as Joe knocked him out?

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Rex I love your stories. This was a tense chapter with a helluva lot going on to digest all at once. The round the robber got off at the end had me worried sick it was going to have reached Clayton when that's who Ryan was so determinedly trying to protect. Thanks for just making it a bad loose shot! Whew!
Poor brave, level headed Barry. I feel so awful for Dave now sick over the love of his life, but I applaud you for a clever way to deal with Benoit and that whole sticky ugly situation. But Ryan is the star of the chapter (well along with our little sparkplug Joe!). I could almost feel his determination to not let Clayton be taken. Missing legs be damned, none of that mattered when he was faced with a situation where his love and his friends could be harmed. I just hope that after this he realizes how perfect he is the way he is - new legs soon or not. I also hope that Clayton doesn't spend another damn minute debating whether to share his secret with Ryan. I am really rooting for these two but they still seem rather reserved in sharing each other fully with the other even though they recognize they are in love. Good job Rex!

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On 04/20/2016 01:58 AM, Timothy M. said:

Fast and furious. :o I only have one question: where did the bullet go from the shot the robber managed as Joe knocked him out?

Ah HAH! You're the first to notice that and comment! But, you'll find out later...in a future chapter. It's not exactly a cliffhanger, but maybe a motivator to keep reading. LOL.

THANK YOU for always reading and consistently commenting--I appreciate it!

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On 04/20/2016 02:09 AM, pzetts3 said:

Rex I love your stories. This was a tense chapter with a helluva lot going on to digest all at once. The round the robber got off at the end had me worried sick it was going to have reached Clayton when that's who Ryan was so determinedly trying to protect. Thanks for just making it a bad loose shot! Whew!

Poor brave, level headed Barry. I feel so awful for Dave now sick over the love of his life, but I applaud you for a clever way to deal with Benoit and that whole sticky ugly situation. But Ryan is the star of the chapter (well along with our little sparkplug Joe!). I could almost feel his determination to not let Clayton be taken. Missing legs be damned, none of that mattered when he was faced with a situation where his love and his friends could be harmed. I just hope that after this he realizes how perfect he is the way he is - new legs soon or not. I also hope that Clayton doesn't spend another damn minute debating whether to share his secret with Ryan. I am really rooting for these two but they still seem rather reserved in sharing each other fully with the other even though they recognize they are in love. Good job Rex!

Aw, thanks, Pzetts! Such kind words!

We're fortunate in that we had both brave and level-headed guys in the bar: Barry, Ryan, Joe. And although each man has his own issues/flaws, they merged well into a team here. But, watch for the bullet later... ;)

As for Ryan and Clayton, there's progress being made on both sides there; Ryan's more and more comfortable with himself, and Clayton's more and more comfortable with Ryan and the relationship. More awaits them both.

THANKS for the kind words and staying with the story--I appreciate you. It really means a lot, especially since I was really insecure about the writing style of the chapter!

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There's never a dull moment with this bunch for sure.....Rex, this was beyond exciting ......in fact, I reread it 3 times to digest all the action ( I raced thru it the first time trying to ensure Barry's condition......don't say lifeless body ....unless it IS a lifeless body) you scared the crap out if me at that point.....
Overall, as usual, I loved the chapter........:)Mike

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Whew. Now I need my heart medication and my antacids. And a sedative shot of whiskey. And...another chapter, please!

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Ah not such a simple robbery.

 

Hope Barry will be ok. Ryan and Joe are heros! But is it all happily ever after?

 

tim xo

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Well, I'm late to this. I see you're not going to answer about that last bullet, so I won't even ask! :X

 

What an action-packed chapter Rex! And Benoit, the scum! I guess that takes care of Ben's predicament, somewhat.

 

All along, I was thinking it was one of the motorcycle guys. Let's hope Barry is OK. At first, I thought he got shot in the head, which would have been kind of difficult to survive. But on rereading, I saw that's not what happened.

 

Great, exciting chapter!

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On 04/20/2016 12:40 PM, Mikiesboy said:

Ah not such a simple robbery.

 

Hope Barry will be ok. Ryan and Joe are heros! But is it all happily ever after?

 

tim xo

Tim, definitely a case here of a greedy, sloppy robbery. Ryan and joe are definitely heroes--and the future of Ryan and Clayton still looks good.

Glad you're following along--and thanks for the comments!

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On 04/20/2016 06:25 AM, flamingo136 said:

There's never a dull moment with this bunch for sure.....Rex, this was beyond exciting ......in fact, I reread it 3 times to digest all the action ( I raced thru it the first time trying to ensure Barry's condition......don't say lifeless body ....unless it IS a lifeless body) you scared the crap out if me at that point.....

Overall, as usual, I loved the chapter........:)Mike

Aw, Mike...I'm sorry to have scared ya--but you do understand from the "fly on the wall" perspective, Barry's body WAS lifeless-looking!

Plenty more details in the next chapter--maybe a Friday release.

Glad you liked the chapter, buddy--I appreciate your comments and support!

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On 04/20/2016 12:40 PM, skinnydragon said:

Well, I'm late to this. I see you're not going to answer about that last bullet, so I won't even ask! :X

 

What an action-packed chapter Rex! And Benoit, the scum! I guess that takes care of Ben's predicament, somewhat.

 

All along, I was thinking it was one of the motorcycle guys. Let's hope Barry is OK. At first, I thought he got shot in the head, which would have been kind of difficult to survive. But on rereading, I saw that's not what happened.

 

Great, exciting chapter!

Benoit's definitely gonna get what's coming to him--and Ben's situation is precarious, but more details are ahead in the next chapter.

Glad you liked this one, Skinny--THANK YOU for reading along and commenting. And thanks for not asking about the bullet.

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On 04/20/2016 10:16 AM, Parker Owens said:

Whew. Now I need my heart medication and my antacids. And a sedative shot of whiskey. And...another chapter, please!

The next chapter should be out on Friday--off schedule, but don't want to make you wait too long in your "delicate" condition! I generally recommend skipping the meds and applying whiskey until those anxiety feeling go away. LOL

I appreciate your reading/commenting--and your constant support!

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Very intense scene, buddy. I'm wondering where that fired off round went?? And I was pretty sure that was Benoit... good riddance to the bastard. Heroic actions for sure, but I was surprised any of them could smile after that... I'm counting on Barry being okay. Nicely written, Rex... cheers... Gary....

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Rex, I'm enjoying this story so much! This was an action-filled chapter, and detailed, but some of the details threw me off. To explain:

 

-- I had a hard time imagining where the bar was in relation to the stage, to the table where Ryan, etc. were, and to the main entrance. I understood why you mentioned the half wall, and you used that wall well, but I felt like I needed to get a piece of paper and sketch the layout. Don't know if that's a good or bad thing, LOL.
-- If everyone was told to get up on the stage, why didn't Ryan, Clayton, (Jenay?) and Joe go? I understand there not being a ramp to the stage, but they didn't even go that way. I'm assuming they turned around, since they were facing the stage. Benoit was probably too wound up to notice, but their lack of moving could've gotten someone killed. I think it's worth a mention of them maybe all making eye contact and deciding to stay.
-- The switch to third person was jarring. Maybe use third person in an earlier chapter as well, so it's not so abrupt?
-- I thought Telsa was a misspelling of Tesla, and you referred to it as a car instead of a wheelchair. So I had this image of a car being driven through a wall. *snort*
-- Curious to know if Ryan's attack hurt his right stub, and if it'll mess up his chances for the new legs. Also curious about where that shot went. Did someone go grab the bag of phones and pass them out? And does Joe have spare keys to the place? He was locking up ...
-- My favorite detail was Benoit's tattoo sleeve. It hints at how fucked up he was, not to cover up something that could easily ID him. BTW, did agents cut the tape from his ankles, or carry him out? (Also, I'd say Dave LOOKED like he wanted to scream, since this is third person.)

 

Maybe I'm more detailed-oriented than the average reader? Just trying to help. I really dig these characters and how you weave them in and out of each other's stories.

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On 04/21/2016 05:29 AM, Headstall said:

Very intense scene, buddy. I'm wondering where that fired off round went?? And I was pretty sure that was Benoit... good riddance to the bastard. Heroic actions for sure, but I was surprised any of them could smile after that... I'm counting on Barry being okay. Nicely written, Rex... cheers... Gary....

Gary, thanks for the review--and sorry for the delay in responding!

The bullet's location will be revealed in the next chapter (tomorrow)...and you're like all of us--Glad Benoit is gone. After the tension of the night, the nervous energy--and relief--of everyone came out. And, tomorrow's chapter will give an update on Barry.

THANK YOU for hanging with the story--and your support!

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On 04/28/2016 09:07 AM, Geemeedee said:

Rex, I'm enjoying this story so much! This was an action-filled chapter, and detailed, but some of the details threw me off. To explain:

 

-- I had a hard time imagining where the bar was in relation to the stage, to the table where Ryan, etc. were, and to the main entrance. I understood why you mentioned the half wall, and you used that wall well, but I felt like I needed to get a piece of paper and sketch the layout. Don't know if that's a good or bad thing, LOL.

-- If everyone was told to get up on the stage, why didn't Ryan, Clayton, (Jenay?) and Joe go? I understand there not being a ramp to the stage, but they didn't even go that way. I'm assuming they turned around, since they were facing the stage. Benoit was probably too wound up to notice, but their lack of moving could've gotten someone killed. I think it's worth a mention of them maybe all making eye contact and deciding to stay.

-- The switch to third person was jarring. Maybe use third person in an earlier chapter as well, so it's not so abrupt?

-- I thought Telsa was a misspelling of Tesla, and you referred to it as a car instead of a wheelchair. So I had this image of a car being driven through a wall. *snort*

-- Curious to know if Ryan's attack hurt his right stub, and if it'll mess up his chances for the new legs. Also curious about where that shot went. Did someone go grab the bag of phones and pass them out? And does Joe have spare keys to the place? He was locking up ...

-- My favorite detail was Benoit's tattoo sleeve. It hints at how fucked up he was, not to cover up something that could easily ID him. BTW, did agents cut the tape from his ankles, or carry him out? (Also, I'd say Dave LOOKED like he wanted to scream, since this is third person.)

 

Maybe I'm more detailed-oriented than the average reader? Just trying to help. I really dig these characters and how you weave them in and out of each other's stories.

Gee, THANK YOU for the comments, and for getting into the story so much you were visualizing it all! Lemme see if I can help with some of that:

1) For the bar's layout, think of a landscape-mode piece of paper (say 11" x 8.5"). The entrance door is basically centered along the "north" 11" length of the paper; the bar inside mimics that length, with the "long" side of the bar running parallel to the north wall. The short side of the bar, and the opening beside it faces "east". There are tables between the bar and the stage on the eastern wall. And the pool table is in the northeast corner of the layout. Does that help? (If not, lemme know, and I'll diagram it out by email to you.)

2) Everyone was told to head to the stage--Barry and Benoit wanted to get 'em all away, so patrons on the long side of the bar would have moved. Since the tables were along the eastern wall next to the stage, those patrons didn't move--and didn't have to since they weren't a threat to Benoit. It's the distance away from Benoit that's making the difference here, not just the fact they're on stage. Same with the folks who were at the tables/pool table; far enough away that they're not perceived to be a threat.

3) The third person style was a risk I took in writing the chapter--sorry you found it jarring! It's such a pivotal moment, telling it in first person from just one characters point of view would have missed some of the detail, as well as the drama. I'm at least glad that the action of the chapter came through for you.

4) You're correct--Tesla WAS misspelled, but it really IS a car. I put that in to simply highlight "ludicrous speed", which really is a setting in the car's systems.

(And yes, the misspelling has been fixed).

4) The impact on Ryan will be spelled out in the next, and future, chapters. The location of the bullet will be in the next chapter as well. The phones were in the trash can after Jenay had collected 'em by the back door; we can safely assume everyone got 'em after the police arrived. Since Rex was the Realtor who'd sold the bar to Barry (in "Landfall"), he knew where the light switches were, how to lock the bar without keys, etc.

5) Benoit was definitely out of it, and the tattoo as an ID never entered his mind. (A police buddy says, "The tattoos make body identification easier!") Although it's not spelled out, certain the tape from Benoit's ankles had been cut away. And sorry the point of view didn't clearly identify that Dave wanted to scream--but didn't.

Whew--hope that helped! If that didn't do it, shoot me an email covering anything I've missed.

And, again, THANK YOU for liking the tale and involving yourself in it to this level--it's great, and I love it!

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Excellent chapter. Awesome pacing and you managed to surprise me twice. Thought of Benoit after the first paragraph but it was still an awesome twist. Ryan an Joe were a complete surprise. I thought Dave was gonna walk in and save the day. Benoit was obviously being watched real closely by the task force, the shot brought them all in to do the mopping up. Can't wait to read the next installment.

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Whoa...had a niggling feeling it might have been Benoit. That was intense.. Again the description of the action had me holding my breath and able to visualise the scene. So well done. But there's a bullet gone awry..
Loved how Ryan and Joe went into action..

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On 04/29/2016 11:36 PM, Carlos Hazday said:

Excellent chapter. Awesome pacing and you managed to surprise me twice. Thought of Benoit after the first paragraph but it was still an awesome twist. Ryan an Joe were a complete surprise. I thought Dave was gonna walk in and save the day. Benoit was obviously being watched real closely by the task force, the shot brought them all in to do the mopping up. Can't wait to read the next installment.

Thanks for the comments! The gunman could have been either one of the nasty biker group, or Benoit--but Benoit was so desperate because of his situation, he made the dumb move of trying to rob the bar. Thankfully, Ryan and Joe are both action oriented, and stepped up to risk neutralize the situation.

THANK YOU for reading/commenting!

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