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    Robert Rex
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Stories posted in this category are works of fiction. Names, places, characters, events, and incidents are created by the authors' imaginations or are used fictitiously. Any resemblances to actual persons (living or dead), organizations, companies, events, or locales are entirely coincidental.
Note: While authors are asked to place warnings on their stories for some moderated content, everyone has different thresholds, and it is your responsibility as a reader to avoid stories or stop reading if something bothers you. 

Lion's Lair - 2. What the Hell Am I Thinking?

/

Now back in the bar, the hot tingle of Ryan's kiss lingers on my lips. Surprisingly, my place at the bar is still open, even though my drink has disappeared. Oh well.

Barry comes up, my drink in hand, heavily frosted. “Saved your drink in the cooler, and don't think it's watered down too badly—or would you prefer a fresh one, Clayton? After all, you were outside for a little while … ” His twinkling eyes and impish smile let me know he's gently kidding me about the drink—and about my outdoor excursion.

“No, I'm sure it'll be fine, Barry. And no, I wasn't gone that long. Just long enough … ” I'm whispering now as he leans in to hear, “... to get a dinner date for the weekend.”

Barry beams. “Good for you! Ryan seems like a good guy, and God knows, he's certainly attractive. You'll hafta keep me posted on how it goes.” Barry winks as he moves away to serve another customer, leaving me with my thoughts.

I've lots to think about; my behavior tonight has been so totally out of character. Stick out my hand and introduce myself to a new guy? Not me—I'm far more socially reserved. Get caught up in the looks and intelligence of a much younger guy? Never happens—even if it is a man as impressive as Ryan. And I've never been attracted to a younger guy, at least not until Ben came along last year and we started occasionally hooking up. But certainly not swept-away in the first meeting! Ask for a date and initiate a kiss with a relative stranger?

Definitely not me!

So unlike me. I've always maintained an ordered life. Structured. Comfortable with my mechanical-engineering-world of numbers, fluid flow rates, pressure variables. Always kept things nice and neat. Hell, even in high school years ago, I carried a briefcase—hated the unorganized, things-thrown-in-the-backpack approach. My locker had shelves I'd built in shop class, just to keep things organized.

And now ….

My thoughts are interrupted by a blonde twink, maybe 21 or 22, shirt half-open to his waist. He's leaning into me, slurring hello.

Barry's immediately across the bar from him. “Can I help you?”

“Nah, I'm just talking with Daddy here. Thought he might wanna buy me a drink, maybe sing a karaoke song to me now that his freakazoid boyfriend has gone....” The twink is a little glassy-eyed, weaving on his feet a little; more stoned than drunk, but obnoxious regardless.

Barry's response was instantaneous and almost like what you'd see in old cartoons when the character would get mad. I've never seen anything like it in real life. His face went from open/friendly to scowl in a second, with a solid line of red rising like a waterline up his face. The color drained out to white, then back to red in that rising-line effect, all in just moments. His eyes narrow with cold anger as he stares at the kid.

He can move fast, too. Just in the three or four seconds it took to watch his face change so dramatically, he'd reached across the bar by me, grabbed the twink by the collar, and pulled him halfway across the bar—right up into his face.

He stared the young guy in the eyes with a look that would have killed a lion in its tracks at twenty paces and said in a very quiet, totally measured tone, “that 'freakazoid' as you call him is one of the nicest men you'll never get to meet. That Marine put everything on the line serving this country, lost his legs in the process—all so you could choose to be the punk-ass Quarter rat you are; nothing more than a two-bit stoned fuckin' hustler.” His word emphasis only strengthened the intensity of the almost-whispered chewing out he was giving the kid. Of course, the bar had stopped and everyone heard every word.

Barry shoved the kid back as the entire bar watched. “You're nothing but trash, and this isn't one of the bars that'd put up with your shit.” Louder now. “Your stupidity embarrasses all of us … now get the fuck out of my bar.”

The kid tugs at his shirt, and attempts to smooth it out as he heads back to the table where he and a handful of friends were sitting—but they're now standing, they've grabbed his cigarettes and they're all moving toward the door, with him in tow.

The bar breaks out in applause, the karaoke DJ starts up the music, and the party is back on.

“Sorry, Clayton, but I'd been watching that kid all night, bothering everyone. Just flat-out being a spoiled jerk, and when I heard him call Ryan a 'freakazoid', well … guess I just lost it. Again, sorry to put ya in the middle of that. And your next drink is on me.” Barry's got a bashful smile that both apologizes and has a little pride in it for handling the guy.

“Not an issue, Barry. He deserved it. And, you told me some things I didn't know—that Ryan was a Marine, that he lost his legs in service. So you did well on both counts; certainly nothing to apologize for.”

Barry looks at me dumbfounded. “As long as you talked, and you didn't find out he was a Marine or how he lost his legs?”

“No. It just never came up.”

Barry put his hands palm down on the bar, looked at me and rolled his eyes. “So tell me you found out where he's from, where he works, where he lives. How old is he? What does he do for fun? Tell me you got his phone number.” He’s incredulous that I've missed out on these obvious data bits; what can I say? The conversation just seemed to flow.

“Yes, I found out where he works—the Cadillac dealership. Yes, I found out where he lives—at the Lakeshore apartments overlooking the lake, on the other side of town off I-10. No, I've no idea where he's from or how old he is or what he does for fun. And, of course, I got his phone number, and he, mine.”

“Uh oh … you've got it bad. You've talked half the night and only have three basic questions covered.” Barry rolls his eyes again, and raises his hands in surrender.

“But, you used an expression I've never heard before: "Quarter rat". What's that?”

The happy Barry is back, and he chuckles as he explains. “They're the scum of the French Quarter, running like gutter rats from bar to bar, hustling everyone around for cigarettes, drinks, or just flat-ass hustling. They never think anything beyond how they're gonna get their next drink, or next high. And yeah, he's one—found out he'd come up from the Quarter to join friends here, and probably pick up his next drug package from a supplier here on the Northshore. Damn glad he's gone.” He's openly laughing now. “At least I put on a good show for the bar!” And that thought makes him laugh longer and louder.

“Well, thanks for the drink offer, Barry, but I need to head home. I'm meeting with a client tomorrow for a lunch presentation, and don't need to stay out late. Thanks for taking care of that Quarter rat, too.” I grin and wave goodbye.

It's late enough, the traffic is light, the car is quiet—I've got time to think. Need to get the brain calmed down before hitting the sack.

Everything tonight with Ryan is just totally beyond anything I've done, and so far past my basic nature I'm somewhat rattled. I've never been socially aggressive like that—at all. Not even with Alex, not even after the years we were together.

It was right after Stanford I'd met Alex. I'd played with guys while in both boarding school and at college, so I'd gotten comfortable with my gayness. Alex and I met at a hole-in-the-wall gay bar thirty miles away from campus, and he was immediately smitten with me. He pursued me calmly, but relentlessly, and my feelings developed for him quickly. After we'd been together for a year, I finally told him my secrets and explained my deceptions. He handled it well, understanding it all. My feelings for him stayed strong up until his unexpected death twelve years ago of a heart attack at 49. We'd been together 24 years.

I'm reminded of Alex every time I pull into the neighborhood. This neighborhood—Olympus--and our home here is a pleasant reminder of him.

Alex had signed on with a major Chicago architectural firm with offices in Los Angeles after college, and his design won a competition for a couple of buildings used in the 1984 World's Fair in New Orleans. We moved here, he supervising construction on his building and me working for a small NASA subcontractor. He eventually changed jobs, joining the company that was the lead firm for the Fair.

While at his firm's New Orleans office, a contractor/developer on Lake Pontchartrain's Northshore approached the firm's partners, offering a stipend/commission for the development of a new concept in a master planned community.

Instead of the traditional formality of most Tudor-inspired ritzy neighborhoods, Olympus would be built recognizing the importance of fitting in with the topography and native surroundings while impacting the environment as little as possible--quite a concept for the early '80's. It would emphasize sustainability, reserving over a third of the subdivision's three thousand acres in its natural, heavily wooded state. Bike/hike trails, dredging of canals crisscrossing the property following the land's lay, building a boat repair/dry dock with scuba shop for the residents were all part of the plan. And a federal wildlife preserve abutted the development, ensuring wildlife would roam through the neighborhood with ease.

Jack Adams, and his wife Amy, were fans of Frank Lloyd Wright, and wanted contemporary design using natural materials as much as possible to be a signature of the neighborhood. Alex submitted the winning design for their house--the first to be built in the area--and a friendship developed. And, in addition to the stipend, Jack and Amy were so happy with the way their home turned out, as a bonus they let Alex and me pick out the land to build our own place anywhere in the neighborhood we wanted. We’d already talked about a lot we’d select if we’d been able to afford it, so before we knew it, we were neighborhood property owners.

Word of this new approach spread rapidly among architectural circles, and soon noted architects, like I.M. Pei, Frank Geary, architects at the Frank Lloyd Wright Foundation, and others were clamoring for clients who'd build in the neighborhood--even if the architects themselves had only been considered as commercial specialists before. The development quickly blossomed, won national awards, and filled in to its maximum planned density.

As I drive past the mostly-hidden homes, it feels like I'm on a deserted country road. No traffic, indirect lighting on the road minimizes light pollution. A raccoon meanders across the road as I pull in my driveway.

Alex designed our home, sleek and minimalistic, with "pods" spaced out across the property. One pod contains the three car garage with workshop. A second pod contains the great room with dining space, kitchen, utility, master bedroom and bath. A third pod has three bedrooms, each with its own bath, a common den with kitchenette, and utility room. A fourth pod is nothing more than a forty foot square screened porch with outdoor kitchen by the cantilevered dock on the bayou that runs by Frank and Amy's house.

All of the pods are of varying heights to fit into the topography, and are elevated on steel struts to fit in with the land's lay. The struts allow the soil to breathe, and the roots of the two- and three-hundred year-old oaks on the property to remain basically undisturbed. All the pods are sheathed in recycled hurricane-proof glass which reflects the park-like four acre lot. Removable glass panels enclose screened breezeways connecting the pods. And there's a saltwater pool running underneath the breezeway connecting the main living pod and the bedroom pod, accessible from both pods by giant sand-colored concrete terraces that step down like a path of overlapping leaves into the water.

Despite its sleek minimalist style, Alex was always careful in his selection of textures and colors that added personality and comfort to what would have otherwise been a cold sterile space. He'd run the selections by me, knowing full well that I'd agree with his choice--we were that much alike, at least on those matters.

Alex was the social one of us. He always had people in on the weekend, keeping the grill in the outdoor kitchen by the dock going pretty much year round. This was always such a happy place, filled with friends and neighbors, and business folks from his office--and occasionally mine, too. Always good food, good drinks, and good times.

But times change, people come and go. Just the natural circle of life I suppose. Despite the warmth Alex built into the place, it still feels empty without him. I've mostly gotten used to it, even after all these years since he died.

Jack and Amy are gone too--moved to California last year after Amy's ALS progressed to heart-breaking stage. Although I know a lot of people, they were true friends, and I'm missing them. Thankfully, the experimental ALS treatments seem to be working and she's making progress according to Jack. Of course, lost touch with virtually all of Alex's co-workers. My role as a consultant generally keeps me on the outside at work, so never really had a lot of friends there. But there are a few neighbors around that I'm friendly with--they were so great when Alex died, I couldn't walk away from those friendships.

I have made some friends at the bar, and even hosted a few of 'em in for cookouts, or to watch the Saints' football games, even if opening my home to others feels like I'm exposing too much of my private life. Barry and Dave, his partner, have been here. Rex, a Realtor, and Joe, his partner, have been out too. Ron, an A/C technician, and his other half--a sheriff's deputy, I can never remember his name; Larry? Maybe?--have been out, too. And always had a couple of neighbors in. It's just not the big events or big crowds like Alex used to have.

As I finish up my glass of milk, and crawl in bed I think of the other one that's been out: Ben. He's an attorney with a local firm, specializes in estate planning. I met him at the bar a year and a half or so ago. Nice guy, and took an immediate interest in me. We get together every week or ten days, do dinner, or just relax with drinks. He's a young guy, 35, emotionally solid, big heart, and know he'd love to be in a relationship with me. The sex is good, too. It's just unfortunate that I'm not feeling that same intensity that he does for me. It's, well ... comfortable ... just not as interesting or exciting as Ryan seems to be. I guess it's telling that I've never told Ben of my past, my secrets; never told him of the real me.

Wait a minute--I just met Ryan tonight! Exciting as Ryan? What the hell am I thinking?

As I turn off the light, and hope for sleep, the thought oozes into my slowly-shutting-down brain: What am I gonna do about Ben?

Thank you for reading/following this story! Plenty of twists and turns ahead--so get ready.
Please DO leave "likes" "follow this story" and your comments; they're real motivators.
Copyright © 2016 Robert Rex; All Rights Reserved.
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Stories posted in this category are works of fiction. Names, places, characters, events, and incidents are created by the authors' imaginations or are used fictitiously. Any resemblances to actual persons (living or dead), organizations, companies, events, or locales are entirely coincidental.
Note: While authors are asked to place warnings on their stories for some moderated content, everyone has different thresholds, and it is your responsibility as a reader to avoid stories or stop reading if something bothers you. 
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Awwww Rex...this is shaping up to be one of your classic exciting page turners!!! Another of those fabulous "can't wait for the next chapter", with intriguing characters interwoven with some oldies (Barry, Rex, Dave, etc.) but goldies, plot twisting, stories!! :thumbup: "Can't wait" to find out Clayton's secrets and watch the Ben vs Ryan show unfold!! :D Excellent chapter...ready for the next...tomorrow did you say... :gikkle: Anywayyyyyyy...Thanks for sharing, and glad you're feeling better!! :kiss::thankyou:

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On 01/15/2016 03:19 AM, Onim said:

Awwww Rex...this is shaping up to be one of your classic exciting page turners!!! Another of those fabulous "can't wait for the next chapter", with intriguing characters interwoven with some oldies (Barry, Rex, Dave, etc.) but goldies, plot twisting, stories!! :thumbup: "Can't wait" to find out Clayton's secrets and watch the Ben vs Ryan show unfold!! :D Excellent chapter...ready for the next...tomorrow did you say... :gikkle: Anywayyyyyyy...Thanks for sharing, and glad you're feeling better!! :kiss::thankyou:

Thanks for the kind words, Onim! Glad you're enjoying both the plot so far, and the characters. True confession: Clayton is a damn difficult character for me. He's so buttoned down, filled with complex nuances that I'm NOT spelling out I'm detail but hinting at...I'm hoping they come through more clearly as he develops. And, yes, he's got his own secret(s) as much as Ryan or even Barry.

I'm currently publishing every Thursday morning...a week isn't too long to wait, is it? ;).

Thanks again for the kind words, and for following the story--and a few twists and turns ahead!

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Hm...what will he do about Ben? lol Nothing like a smooth cliffhanger. I'm digging the new characters, but also love the weaving in of the old.
Excellent chapter Rex.

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Well done Rex!

 

We now have Ryan and Clayton both out of their comfort zone.
So all bets are off, right? :lol:

 

Another great story! Meanwhile I'm catching up with Joe the Welder.

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What the hell am I thinking......How many times have I uttered that to myself? I have come to believe and trust my instincts.....to follow mygut. Hopefully Clayton will do the same.
I reallly like the character development of both Clayton and Ryan, Barry was already a known friend and underdog from Landfall, but you've added another dimension to him.....the way you are "polishing" Barry's character, I can't wait to see how you augment my fave...Dave
Great chapter Rex.....thinking of you this week............:)Mike

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Thanks for letting us inside Clayton's mind. This is an informative chapter, and it really must be nice to have friends at a local pub who know you and look out for you. Barry must be a local saint. Thanks for sharing this story.

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It was interesting to get to know Clayton. Sounds like he and Alex had a good life. Now, what of his past? And secrets? I shouldn't be this excited should I? But I am anticipating a splendid mystery. And yes, what exactly will he do about Ben... Oh, and I think Barry might have learned a thing or two, the way he muscled that Quater rat..

 

Great chapter!

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On 01/15/2016 03:46 AM, Daddydavek said:

Everyone has some secrets. I'm wondering if Clayton' s are as important as he thinks?

Daddy, you're right--our own secrets are always important; but, keep reading, I think you'll see Clayton's secret is a game changer.

Thanks for reading!

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On 01/15/2016 07:32 AM, R J Drew said:

Hm...what will he do about Ben? lol Nothing like a smooth cliffhanger. I'm digging the new characters, but also love the weaving in of the old.

Excellent chapter Rex.

A "smooth cliffhanger"? Great description, and you'll see a resolution to that pretty soon.

Glad you're enjoying the characters, both old and new. This story is giving the option of expanding the personalities of the older characters a little bit more than what you'd seen before--and they're definitely interesting characters!

Glad you're doing this story, RJ! Thank you!

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On 01/15/2016 11:12 AM, skinnydragon said:

Well done Rex!

 

We now have Ryan and Clayton both out of their comfort zone.

So all bets are off, right? :lol:

 

Another great story! Meanwhile I'm catching up with Joe the Welder.

Skinny, you're right--both Ryan and Clayton ARE out of their comfort zone--but isn't that really what happens at the start of any relationship, whether friendly or romantic? It's their responses that'll define what happens. And, Clayton is definitely more of a challenge to write about--he's a damn complex guy, filled with nuances.

And, thanks for following up with "Joe". I hope you like that story, too. It's far more erotic than this story, but that's part of their exploration/building of their relationship.

THANK YOU for reading, and the comments!

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On 01/15/2016 12:17 PM, flamingo136 said:

What the hell am I thinking......How many times have I uttered that to myself? I have come to believe and trust my instincts.....to follow mygut. Hopefully Clayton will do the same.

I reallly like the character development of both Clayton and Ryan, Barry was already a known friend and underdog from Landfall, but you've added another dimension to him.....the way you are "polishing" Barry's character, I can't wait to see how you augment my fave...Dave

Great chapter Rex.....thinking of you this week............:)Mike

Mike, like you, I've learned to trust my instincts and act on 'em, but keep in mind that Clayton is (by nature) analytical--he's gonna think through and consider all the options.

Glad you're enjoying the characters. Getting some of the old characters back is (for me) like catching up with old friends. Plus, we get to see different perspectives of them from when they were telling their own stories--and that's fun. And, you're seeing a side of Barry differently now from before--and Dave's turn is coming up.

Thanks for the review, and positive support! I appreciate you, buddy!

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On 01/15/2016 12:24 PM, Parker Owens said:

Thanks for letting us inside Clayton's mind. This is an informative chapter, and it really must be nice to have friends at a local pub who know you and look out for you. Barry must be a local saint. Thanks for sharing this story.

Parker, it really IS a good thing to see what Clayton's thinking. He's always apparently very careful about what he presents publicly, it's nice to see his thought process.

And, you're right--a good bartender is worth his weight in gold. They can entertain/protect/set the tone of the place like no one else; Barry has definitely added his imprint to the bar. Hell, the tips we leave aren't nearly enough for the good ones!

Thanks for reading along!

(And, BTW, loving your "A to Z" story. I've been away, and am playing catchup--and ran out of likes one day. I'm now half-way through, and enjoying the complex emotional tale. You're doing a great job on it. And yeah, promise I'll start leaving reviews!)

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On 01/15/2016 01:15 PM, Defiance19 said:

It was interesting to get to know Clayton. Sounds like he and Alex had a good life. Now, what of his past? And secrets? I shouldn't be this excited should I? But I am anticipating a splendid mystery. And yes, what exactly will he do about Ben... Oh, and I think Barry might have learned a thing or two, the way he muscled that Quater rat..

 

Great chapter!

Clayton and Alex DID have a good life, and there's the overall feel that, even though Alex has been dead 12 years, like in an past relationship, those fingerprints are still on Clayton's heart.

I'm hoping you'll enjoy some of the upcoming twists and turns of this story; there's a lot ahead, and it's a complex tale, so get ready! And getting to show the different perspectives of "old" characters, like Barry, is fun. Think Barry always had something of an aggressive part to his personality, just that he didn't get to show it much in "Landfall" due to his circumstances.

Glad you've enjoyed the story so far, Defiance--looking forward to future comments from you!

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Hey, Rex,
I enjoyed this. The house sounds cool... but lonely. It seems like Clayton has been hit by lightning, and it's name isn't Ben. I'm intrigued about his secrets, but they can't be too bad if they were okay with Alex. I didn't think Barry was out of character at all. I always saw this part of him. He's both tough and honorable, and he doesn't suffer fools gladly. Rats are everywhere aren't they? Looking forward to more... good job, my friend... Cheers... Gary....

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On 01/28/2016 05:17 PM, Headstall said:

Hey, Rex,

I enjoyed this. The house sounds cool... but lonely. It seems like Clayton has been hit by lightning, and it's name isn't Ben. I'm intrigued about his secrets, but they can't be too bad if they were okay with Alex. I didn't think Barry was out of character at all. I always saw this part of him. He's both tough and honorable, and he doesn't suffer fools gladly. Rats are everywhere aren't they? Looking forward to more... good job, my friend... Cheers... Gary....

Thanks, Gary!

Clayton has been struck--and his uncertainty/confusion is evident. After living in a rambling house alone all this time, he's obviously wrestling with his own issues, including Ben.

As for Barry, I'm glad you spotted the fun, more playful, "take no prisoners" attitude--he was so buried in "Landfall", I wasn't certain that came through.

I appreciate the kind words, my friend! Thanks for hanging in with the story!

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Okay like Barry more now. Interesting to find our more about Clayton. Darn what a shame to have to figure out what to do with two hot younger men!!
another good one

 

tim

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On 02/14/2016 06:00 AM, Mikiesboy said:

Okay like Barry more now. Interesting to find our more about Clayton. Darn what a shame to have to figure out what to do with two hot younger men!!

another good one

 

tim

Hell yeah--I'd love to have two hot younger men that interested!

Barry's quite the complex character. This story is letting me explore and present more of his social side than what was seen as he told his story in "Landfall". He really is a good guy. And, like most folks in a bar, definitely has a "backstory".

Glad you're moving forward with the tale! And, thanks for the review!

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I read "Joe the Welder" years ago and thoroughly enjoyed it. I read all the comments posted about this chapter and can support all the positive remarks except those regarding your stories I have yet to read. I will get to those, I am sure.

I enjoy stories, like yours, with ordinary men living ordinary lives, who happen to be gay. I liked this first chapter very much. Barry, Ryan and Clayton all seem like guys I would like to count as friends.

As to Clayton's massive secret... I am confused. I thought his biggest shame had already been revealed. How could anything be more embarrassing than restoring a four door Thunderbird? Clayton could be a serial killer and people would say, "there goes Clayton, the serial killer. He owned a four door Thunderbird, ya know. People should have known he was a sicko. I mean who in their right mind would be caught dead in a car like that"?

 I mean JFC! That's not a Thunderbird, that's a four wheeled barge. The only proper thing to do with a four door Thunderbird is to find a vacant lot, a heavy duty backhoe and work at night so no one will realize your shame at having once owned such an automotive monstrosity. As an engineer, surely Clayton can appreciate the lack of power, piss poor design and just out and the out ugliness of that car. It had suicide doors because it so inspired the original designer. (There's a snide but profound observation if not a joke, in that sentence, somewhere, I am certain.)

Aside from your poor taste in automobiles this is a story I look forward to reading.

Now on to the next chapter. Thanks for sharing your talent here.

Jim

 

 

 

Edited by sojourn
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What fun to see characters from your older stories pop in for a cameo! Hopefully, like Barry, we will see more of them. I'm remembering Ryan and Clayton from the last time I read this story. I'm looking forward to more. Thanks.

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A super chapter. I like Ryan and Clayton. I wonder how the 30 year age gap will work. 

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