Plattenbau - 16. Chapter 16- Rooftop Kisses

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"Fuck this stupid bullshit. Nobody even cares." Alex mumbled, frustrated that not even in school had anybody remembered his birthday.

He pressed the elevator button angrily. But, after pressing it a few more times out of frustration, he looked more closely and noticed that the red light next to the button was blinking, indicating that the stupid thing was broken once again. His day had already been terrible enough. First, his mother was already off to work when he woke up. Then, he failed the math exam. And, if that wasn't bad enough, he had also forgotten to pack his lunch, leaving him with an empty stomach for the rest of the day. Alex sighed and turned towards the staircase. He had managed to get to the fourth floor when he stumbled into Wilhelm who was sitting on the stairs, breathing heavily.

At first Alex just wanted to sneak past him, but after noticing two big bags filled with groceries that the old drunkard clearly was struggling with, he reconsidered. He still didn't really like the guy, but he was Ed's childhood friend, and he had been fairly nice to him the last time they had hung out. Alex sighed and asked if he needed help. The boy had hoped that Wilhelm would say no. However, when the older man nodded and stood up, his hopes were shattered, just like the old guy's knees, considering the cracking sound they made.

"Here, take that." Wilhelm replied, obviously in a quite grumpy mode, and gave him one of the large shopping bags, which suspiciously looked heavier than the other one. After stretching and letting out another flowery tirade of curse words, Wilhelm grabbed the other shopping bag and they continued walking up the stairs, with the older man struggling to keep up with Alex, even though the younger guy was already dragging his feet and moving at a snail's pace.

"Why did you buy so much if you can't carry that much?"

"Because the fucking bastard made me." Wilhelm huffed but after seeing the boy's confused look, he elaborated. "Ed said 'When I get home and there is nothing besides beer in my fridge, I'm gonna kick your ass out.' So, I had to buy shit."

"Well you should.... wait, Ed is coming back?"

"He already is."

"What?! Where is he?"

"On the roof, we wanted to - EY!"

Before Wilhelm could end his sentence, Alex had already taken off and was running up the staircase, taking two steps at a time. His heart pounded a hundred miles an hour and his lungs burned like fire, but he didn't care. All that was on his mind was finally seeing his grumpy bear again. When he finally reached the door that led to the rooftop, he paused just for a moment to put down the groceries, hoping nothing in there would need to be refrigerated immediately, and then pushed open the metal door that led to the rooftop.

_____

It ain't pretty but it's home. Ed thought while looking over the skyline. Gray concrete mixed with spots of green red under a sky that was slowly turning from blue to purple. He took a long drag from his cancer stick and leaned back in the plastic chair. Visiting his sister for a month definitely had done him some good, but he was still glad to finally be back.

"ED!" The loud scream came so suddenly that the big guy had barely enough time to get his cigarette out of the way before Alex threw himself into his arms.

"You are back! I thought you forgot it, too!" The boy cried out while climbing onto Ed's lap, straddling his hips and burrowing his head against his shoulder.

Shit, what was he talking about? What did I forget? Ed panicked and mentally ran through everything he could think of, but seeing Alex's disappointed look, he knew he had taken too long.

"Uhm…"

"IT’S MY BIRTHDAY!" Alex yelled and half-heartedly slapped Ed's upper arm.

"RIGHT! Of course…" Ed immediately replied as if he had known it all along. But, his eyes shifted from one place to the other, as he tried his best to avoid the angry glare of the boy whose face was only inches away from his own. The nervous shifting around was a dead giveaway that he was lying and truly had no idea.

"You forgot, didn't you?"

"What, no I…" Ed tried to say but when he saw the complete disbelief in Alex's eyes and the slight hint of hurt, a wave of guilt washed over him. "Okay, yeah, I did." He admitted, half-expecting the teen to completely go off on him. But, to his surprise, the exact opposite happened.

"It's okay. I'm just glad you are back." Alex said with an incredibly cute smile and laid his head back on Ed's shoulder.

"Yeah, about that." As soon as the words left his mouth, Ed could feel Alex tightening his grip around him and slightly shaking.

"Please don't leave again." The younger guy whispered, his voice full of fear and panic.

Almost instinctively, Ed put his arms around the little guy and squeezed him. "I won't, but…" he tried to explain, but when Alex suddenly started kissing his neck and rubbing his lower half against him, Ed couldn't get a single word out because all the blood that had used to keep his brain working flow to his lower half. The teen’s soft lips slowly traveled down his neck, nibbling and sucking on the rough skin, as if he was starving. Ed in turn closed his eyes, leaned back his head and allowed himself completely fall into the moment.

"STOP!" Ed yelled when he suddenly felt Alex attempting to open his pants. The teen immediately did as told and lifted his head to look Ed in the eyes.

The older man took a few shaky breaths and shook his head in an attempt to clear his mind. "Please get off my lap. We need to talk, and I can't think straight like this."

"Oh uhm okay…" Alex responded, flustered by what he had just done. He got up from Ed and sat down in the chair next to the other man. "Sooooo?" The younger guy asked, sitting literally at the edge of his seat.

Ed struggled to find the right words. "I…think we should take whatever we have going on slowly." The blond watched Alex’s face closely. For a moment, it went completely blank before his expression shifted from disbelief to pure anger.

"What the fuck? WHY?!"

"Because for a good relationship, you need trust and communication. And I'm not good at either of those things." Ed tried to explain and let out a sigh as he rubbed the back of his neck. He couldn't even remember the last time he’d been this open to someone that was neither his therapist nor his sister.

"I got issues-" The blond tried to elaborate but before he could do so, Alex interrupted him. "Yeah, no shit." The teen stated and Ed could have sworn that he even rolled his eyes at him. He knew the little rat could be quite blunt, but he still hadn’t expected him to be that honest. Seriously? Ed thought and gave Alex a bewildered look.

"What? It's kinda obvious. Besides, I have issues too, okay?" The teen explained with a shrug as if it was no big deal.

Ed shook his head. He hated to admit it, but Alex was right. They both had problems. Maybe they weren't the same, but neither of their lives were all sunshine and rainbows. The blond cleared his throat, not wanting to dwell any further on how many bad things there were and, instead, focused on what he was about to say before he got so rudely interrupted. "Well, what I wanted to say is that… I have to work on a lot of things, and I still don't know how I'm…"

Ed’s mind suddenly got flooded with each and every one of the man’s fears and concerns. So many of his previous relationships had failed because he never even acknowledged just how much the traumatic events in his life had really affected him and how much baggage was weighing down on his back. He didn't want to put any of that weight onto the teen's shoulders, but he also knew for this to work he had to be open for once in his life about everything.

"Fuck, I don’t even know where to begin!” Ed groaned as he held a hand to his temple, feeling like he was about to get a massive headache.

"Then, let me help you." the teen offered, causing Ed to feel something he hadn't felt for what felt like ages. Hope.

But as sudden as the feeling had surfaced, it got buried beneath doubt and fear once again. No matter how much he genuinely wanted to believe the younger guy, he knew better than to believe him. People might say a lot, but when shit gets tough, none of their promises matter anymore. The blond bitterly thought and shook his head. There is no way the kid would really want to stick around when he knew everything.

The older man hadn't even noticed how much his stoic mask had slipped until Alex suddenly spoke up. "Ed, I mean it. I know you have shit going on in that thick head of yours, but so do I. Maybe together we can actually fight those demons." The brunet boldly took hold of the blond’s larger hand. His eyes looked straight into Ed’s, not faltering for even a second, as he tried his best to convey just how determined he was and how much he meant what he was saying.

All he wanted was for the other man to just have a little more faith in him and to give him the chance to prove to him just how much he really wanted to be there for him. "You said it yourself 'for a relationship you need trust and communication' so why don't we work together on that?"

Ed’s first instinct was to snatch his hand back from Alex’s hold and brush him off. But, the look in Alex’s eyes was surprisingly sincere and unwavering. Time and time again, the younger man had surprised him with a strength and stubbornness that he refused to admit matched his own.

"That's easier said than done." He sighed.

"I know,” Alex admitted. “But, I think it's worth trying."

The image of his father’s pregnant lover at the door of a place he once called home rose to Alex’s mind. But, instead of the initial anger, what he felt was a great sadness for his mother, who had been in a loveless marriage for almost two decades just to then get replaced with a younger woman. He didn’t want to walk a mile in her shoes, realizing how painful it must be.

With a sigh Alex voiced his fear. "Besides, if we start dating and don't talk about stuff, I fear we’ll just end up like my parents…. they never talked about stuff, either."

"So you would really want to date a guy like me?" The blond questioned with a raised eyebrow. While he still doubted anyone would ever want to date someone with as many issues as him, Ed was starting to believe that Alex was a rare exception.

The teen’s face lit up for a brief moment before his expression became troubled again. "Well that depends…I mean, do you even love me, too?"

Upon hearing the big L word, Ed had the sudden urge to squirm and pull a face as if he had just bitten into a citrus. But, he gritted his teeth and took a sharp breath to get his emotions under control. Get it together, he reprimanded himself before mustering up all his strength to finally give Alex a proper answer.
"I…Yeah, I like you," Ed confessed as he gave Alex’s hand a squeeze and sighed. "But, as I said, I want to take things slow, so let's not say the L word or shit like honey, babe, and so on. Oh, and maybe don't go around telling everyone that we are dating."

The response was immediate. Alex tugged his hand away in an indignant huff. Don't go around telling everyone? What did he mean by that? "WAIT! So you want me to be your dirty little secret until you figure shit out?!"

The blond’s eyes widened at the conclusion that Alex had jumped to. "What? NO! I just.. fuck I don't even know. This relationship bullshit is fucking complicated."

Alex took a steadying breath as he analyzed Ed’s reaction. The older man had been too surprised with his reaction to have meant that they should be secret lovers. If that wasn’t the case, then what was going on in that handsome, blond head of his? "Yeah…" the teen mumbled to himself, still unsure what Ed really meant.

The moment that followed was tense. Alex continued to try to scrutinize Ed while the other man cursed himself mentally for having caused Alex to jump to bad conclusions. "Listen Alex, all I want is to take it slow and not have to jump into the cold water immediately." The blond tried to explain his feelings as well as he could, hoping it would clear up the misunderstanding.

To his relief the boy slowly nodded and then looked at him nervously. "So then… would you go on a date with me?"

Ed was surprised once again. When was he ever going to learn that Alex was always full of surprises? The brat went and beat him to the punch yet again. But, he couldn’t help but nod and smile. Damn, but he shouldn’t be this happy. "I… I would love to."

Before either of them knew it, Alex whooped in joy and leapt onto Ed’s lap. "Yes!" He cried out in victory a mere second before pressing a firm kiss onto Ed’s partially opened lips. In his enthusiasm, Alex licked and sucked on the blond’s bottom lip. His hands threaded through the hair on Ed’s head as he continued to attack the man’s mouth.

"Hey, I said …slow."

"Hush. Don't ruin the mood." Alex insisted as they continued to make-out. Considering how shitty the day began, this was bliss. Best fucking birthday present ever.

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