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Into every life . . . .


Andrew Q Gordon

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For those who follow my gallery, I've basically been doing a picture blog of life with Lil' Q instead of writing it down. I'm taking to heart 'a picture is worth a thousand words' and just putting a bit of commentary to go with my 1000 word credit.

 

Yesterday I learned my mom has breast cancer. Good news is it is VERY small, they caught it very early. Bad news is, of the different types, hers is the most aggressive. Amidst all our good fortune, we got blindsided with this. I suspect strongly this will work out fine, the doctors believe this won't be life threatening, but the key word is think.

 

Baby Q sent her grandma flowers. I sent mom a picture. That was the biggest motivator for going to see Santa today, i wanted to send grandma a picture today hoping it would cheer her up. It's one of those things, it helps, but it doesn't really. Sure it makes her smile, but the fear never goes away.

 

As a result of the bad news, I decided to ruin the surprise gift we got my mom - Baby Q and I were going to fly down and surprise her the day after Christmas, but I wanted her to have something to look forward to other than the surgery which is scheduled for the week after Christmas.

 

Don't worry about telling me sorry or good luck - I already know that those who are reading feel that way -- this was sort of a catharsis for me. I'm not allowed to be upset, that's my role in the family - stay calm when others falls apart - it's the mantle I got from my dad. This was just my way of being a bit less stoic.

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Sending hope, prayers and lots of love your way...so much that it overflows and touch all that you know and care about :)

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I second what Maria said. In the midst of something like this; being strong for those around you it's sometimes hard to remember that you have the absolute right to be weak sometimes, to reach out to others and to fall apart.

 

Sometimes you are not doing people favours by always being strong and not letting them take care of you.

 

Be sensitive of what your mother needs and aware that she might need to take care of you to prove she still can. That's the way i feel about my kids since I got ill with my back. Don't be so stoic as to miss the signs from those who want you not to be.

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Any type of cancer is always hard to think about but the advances every DAY have been so incredible. When I was diagnosed with my lymphoma three years ago, I immediately looked it up online and descriptions from just a few years before had extremely dire descriptions. But it was found early enough, treatments had been improved and a few months later I was in complete remission and additional treatments were done to hopefully keep it out of my life forever.

 

Best thoughts for her and for you and your family...

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Strong, schmong; you can be whatever you want here with us. The other commenters have said everything else so I'll leave it at that.

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I'm not going to say it. I'm just going to think it. I'm not all knowing, but

You should try and not be too strong. I've learnt that sick ppl tend to feel powerless and don't like to be fussed over. You should stay strong for her, but give her space once in a while. The key is to let her feel the love:).

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Lugh, Matt, Maria, KC: Thanks. :)

 

Nephy: I don't disagree with you, but that's not my mom - it was my Dad's mom for sure, she could be sick as hell, but would get up to make food. My mom is different, she always sees the worst that's possible and then assumes it will happen. That and she is somewhat needy. If she's not feeling well someone - usually dad - needs to take care of her. I'm not trying to be harsh, just honest. So in this situation, no matter how much it might scare me, I have to be positive and stoic when I speak to her or else she'll be convinced her assumptions of the worst are true. Sadly, I'm finding out that assume the worst and worry about it, is a trait Mike has as well. :/

 

Trebs: Wow, great to know you're doing so well. yes I know you weren't turning this into you, but it is great to hear positive examples. Mike's two Aunts had Breast Cancer 15 and 12 years ago and they are both cancer free because they caught it early. So hopefully all the positive stories will help mom keep upbeat until the surgery. After that it'll all be dependent on how things go, but until then I don't want her to worry so much, it won't help and it will just make her holiday suck.

 

Cia: :) can I leave it at that? Please?

 

Michael: As I said, you're assessment of people is accurate for many, but not my Mom. When 'tragedy' strikes, she gets very emotional and needs people to 'sympathize' with her plight. I learned this many decades ago. Maybe it's because when others are sick she is the type who jumps in with both feet to help out, but that is how she is when she isn't well. I'm not trying to make her sound bad, cause she is not, just saying this is what I know I need to do to make it easier for her.

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Whew,

 

Okay so I answered everyone, here and on the baby pics - course I got no writing done, but meh, it's the holidays. So time for Update.

 

Friday Mom went to the surgeon and it was about as good news as someone with breast cancer could have. The lump is a 1 centimeter - very small; it's stage 1 - only stage 0, no cancer, is better, it's not the aggressive kind the nurse said and she will not need Chemo - maybe just radiation which is not as invasive. SO, all in all, prognosis is good. She is excited to see her granddaughter, best money I'll ever spend on a holiday gift for her.

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