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Is Bisexual The New Cool

Yettie One


I got to thinking about sexuality again today, specifically about how trends seem to change with how we present our sexuality, even as fashion or social trends change. It got me really wondering, is the latest trend of seeing so many people describe themselves as BiSexual now a new reality or just a cop out that gives a new generation an ounce of credibility in the eyes of their peers.


My pondering should not be taken as an attack on people that are truly BiSexual or anyone who identifies themselves as such for whatever reason, more just the musing of an enquiring mind.


See, I can't help but wonder if this sudden increase in the number of people, especially the younger generation that identify themselves as BiSexual, is not more a matter of self preservation as society finds a loop hole in our perception of sexuality that lends to greater social acceptance among our peers.


When you take the time to chat with a few of these people, I have found that a few are very clearly open to sexual partners of any kind, but the majority seem to be hiding behind a definition that is not seen as threatening by people who would be more inclined to pick on someone who identifies themselves openly as gay.


We are a creature that are set to evolve and find ways to protect ourselves, and I can't help but wonder if sexuality is influenced by societies perception of what is right, what is wrong, and what is acceptable as a middle ground between the two. Does this grey area where we are kind of not so inclined to take exception, the place where those who are different from what our peers consider normal, become the place where we seek refuge? Is it the case that BiSexual, which could be taken to be less threatening than a fully gay person, is the new cool, a place that gay people can become lost in, in order to avoid conflict?


I few years ago when I was working as a doorman in Swansea in South Wales, I first began to notice this trend as more and more of the gay 'scene' became less and less intimidated being seen out on the straight 'scene'. Those gay bars of yester year have become less of a trend now, as gay people have become more and more entrenched in our modern society here in the UK. But that is not to say that gay people have it all easy now. Yes generations have changed their perception here, even in the twelve years I've lived here I've noticed this, but it is still not easy to be a gay man or woman in the UK.


Bullying is still common place, and if you speak to most gay people, they have all gone through a tough time either at school, work or even in the home. So it does make me wonder if this is a whole new trend of humanity finding a new way to mitigate that strife we experience as a homosexual, deflecting some of the hostility towards our sexuality by identifying with a grouping that is perceived by our society as a less intimidating and wholly more acceptable sexual difference.


Thought for today - "The best way to find yourself is to loose yourself in service of others." - Mahatma Gandhi


Song for today - Girls and Boys by Blur

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Interesting. I agree there's a lot in what you say. Also, maybe it's because much of the world is shades of grey, rather than being exclusively one thing or another. Sure there are those who could never have sex with another of the same (or opposite) sex, and there are those who could, even if it might be exceptional. I don't like labels, personally - although I do accept myself as gay - and prefer the spectrum approach of Kinsey. Of course some of those bi's may just be being greedy and want the whole pie :P

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Technically I'm bisexual since I still find women attractive and if the situation was right I could still see myself having sex with one. But for all practical purposes I'm gay. I'd never date a girl or be in a relationship with one, if I was in a bar getting hit on by an ok looking guy and a super hot girl I'd pretty much always pick the guy, etc. But I'm not like 100% "Ewwwww! Vagina!" gay. In the past two years though I've just started telling people I'm gay instead if trying to explain the "sort of bi" thing everytime someone asked. It felt weird at first, probably half because "Oh god I'm actually saying the G word about ME!" and half "But it's not the whole truth and I feel like I'm sorta lying". But now it feels normal.

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If I may be permitted, I would state your question in a different way: Is the label "bisexual" a new form of closet? A closet with glass doors?

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I think it's about exploring the individual, sometimes we can't fit in a perfect little box, and to fit in one little box, we are ignoring the other little box that also defines us, strange description but I hope its making sense. Anyway, it's pretty hard to find the right fit out there in terms of love and that person who best fits us, being bisexual could be part of that search for the right fit. Atleast that is how I view it, not really the cool thing or not, could be a discovering yourself thing?...

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As u know Yetti, I am bisexual, and seeing the responses, u don't choose what u are going to be or do, feelings and love choose your destiny, as it does in many gay relationships. It is not choosing gay or straight in my opinion, it is finding the right partner, male or female, when you are bi. My first kiss was a girl, and I knew I was attracted, and for the next few years, I was totally confused, but u come to a point in your life that u know what path that u are going to take. I don't care what all the damn people say about it being a sickness. My dad was a deacon in a southern baptist church, but was the least judgmental person that I ever knew. He would stand beside me all the way, and I know it.

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