Jump to content
  • entries
  • comments
  • views

Some people... *sigh*

Renee Stevens


You know, some people absolutely amaze me, and I don't even know why I'm surprised by this specific persons actions. Most of you who know me know that I do not get along with part of my hubby's family, most notable is two of his sisters. One of them is nothing but a user. She barely talks to my hubby most of the time, until she wants something.


Within a week of us buying our house, she asked my husband for $500 for a boat that she not only didn't need, she didn't have a place to store it (it is currently at our house despite my best efforts to prevent that from happening). Within two months of us buying our truck, she asked my hubby to make her truck payment because she bought something she couldn't afford. It's always something with her. She needs my hubby to fix her vehicles and of course cover the cost of any parts needed. She needs my hubby to put a shelf up for her that her husband told her no to. She needs my hubby to loan her money to pay her electricity bill. These are just a few examples, but trust when I say this is an ongoing thing and every week she barely talks to him and then she wants something. If he doesn't drop everything she gets pissed and uses her kids against him. He went nearly 3 months or more without being able to either see or talk to his nieces and nephews because he didn't run over there the second she told him to.


She is honestly at the root of probably 75% of mine and my husbands fights. We've gone 3 days without speaking because of the crap she pulls.

It really pisses me off, but it's next to impossible to make my husband see that all she is doing is using him. I understand about family, but there seriously has to be somewhere to draw the line. I mean, I can see asking for help for IMPORTANT stuff. BUT, here's what gets me. Today, on facebook, she posts the following statuses:


It just pisses me off that grown ass able-bodied people have the means to take care of themselves seem to USE people who are barely scraping by themselves.


Want money??? ~~~ GET A JOB!!! Makes perfect sense! Soo many people should read this!!


It makes me want to reply so bad with something like: Well, you're the queen of using people, so you certainly know what you're talking about.


Grrrrrrr.... Such a hypocrite....


Recommended Comments

Oh, and just last week, she calls him (keep in mind he's working 3 weeks straight of very long hours with no day off) to tell him he needed to come and back her camping trailer into her driveway. My hubby asks where her husband is and she tells him "oh, he's inside, he just don't want to do it right now." Her hubby works 5 days of approx 10 hour shifts and has every weekend off, he's just as mechanically inclined as my hubby, so it's not like she doesn't have a husband of her own to do all this stuff. And it's a 20 minute drive one way to her house.

Link to comment

I can't be of any help, but I know it feels so good to vent sometimes. Vent away...we'll always be on your side :)


Oh, and I recommend staying away from the FB drama :P 'Cause she may not have anything better to do than to post crap on FB all day, but you're a talented writer and have better things to be writing!

Link to comment

OMG! What a bitch! Can't your husband see what she is doing to her own and your family? He should stop running errands for her pronto. This is too much! And I just read what you said here! Gosh! I think, by continuously giving in to her, your husband is doing more harm than help. It's high time he puts things straight, if he really loves her. She is in need of a serious psychiatric evaluation. Besides, her demands are just gonna go escalating. It is a typical presentation. And I don't just mean financially. It is more about attention seeking. Try to find what makes her so needy all of a sudden and why can't she depend on her husband on such trivial stuff. It is most likely to be associated with drug withdrawl and infidelity issues. Since you also mentioned children, I am especially concerned about their wellbeing and upbringing with such a personality as mother. Please take care. Don't let her destroy your life. And try not to be confrontational, when you explain this to your husband. He needs to understand this. Although he will not be of much help to her family, still he will be able to save his own. I don't know everything. But, I hope things will turn out better.

Link to comment

Well, speaking as someone in a relationship with extended families on both sides, I figured out a long long time ago that one thing you do not do is try to get between your partner/husband/SO and their siblings. They might know that you're 100% right in you say, they might even agree with you, but ultimately they will never be impartial and they obviously have strong emotional reasons for what they're doing (in this case, I guess it's your husband wanting to see his nieces and nephews) and so, even though you're trying to lighten their burden, you invariably add to it, by making them feel they must choose or by knowing that in satisfying the one, they dissatisfy the other.


My unsolicited advice to you is to just accept it, and perhaps at a time where she isn't directly asking for something, try to have a calm discussion with him about how this makes you feel, if it's taking something away from you or from your relationship with your husband. With any luck your husband will come to his own conclusions once he doesn't feel he has to defend himself or somehow prove he loves you more or just as much as his sister.

Link to comment

I can relate to the friction caused between your husband and you because of the money lending. I went through the same, and was silent for a year or two until one day, my husband said, " I would love to have one of those, but I really don't need to spend the money." I jumped right in and said," If you have the money to loan your sister everytime she whines about this or that, you have the money to buy the things you want." It was like a lightbulb went off in his head. Not only did he purchase the tool that he wanted, the lending came to a grinding halt. Of course we did not have the kid issue, but hopefully the situation will arise that you will be able get it across to your husband also, and HOPEFULLY, the kids will see the situation for what it is. JMO. Hope it all gets better, because I know the stress is horrible in that situation.:)

Link to comment

:hug: Renee if one day you snap I am prepared to offer you an alibi (and a place to hide the body)


My BF's family are nice for the most part, but his younger sister sounds a bit like your hubby's sister. The only difference is that she doesn't really have anybody else in her life to help with stuff. Though thankfully she will actually take 'no', or 'not today, but we will tomorrow' for an answer without throwing a hissy fit.


I feel so sorry for you and your hubby having your nieces and nephews used as emotional weapons. It's not fair on you two and it's even more unfair on the kids.

Link to comment

His sister sounds very trashy... :P


It does sound like you might need to do something really drastic to pry her away, though. :(

Link to comment

Thank you everyone for reading my rant. It is very frustrating, but it's great to know that I have a place I can vent that will not result in a fight. Don't get me wrong, I love my husband to pieces and I know he loves me, but sometimes I definitely think he has blinders on when it comes to his sister. Even his other sister agrees that it has gone on much too long, but at the same time, she reminds me that my husband is use to being the "go to" guy for everything as it's a roll he's had for much of his life. As hard as it is to live with, seeing him be used, all I can do is my best to ensure that it does not become too taxing on him, which just means putting my foot down and being the bitch occasionally. Once again, thank you everyone for your thoughts and for "listening". Hugs!


@ Pogda: I try so hard to just accept it, and just when I think I have she does something stupid and once more just her name pisses me off... Ugh! On the plus side, he has agreed that I do not have to have a single thing to do with her, just wish he could take a step back.


@Andy: Oh, and Andy, that just seems to be the way most of his sisters operate. There is only one out of three that I can stand to be around. He has one sister (not the one described above) that he got into a huge argument with in April 2011 and since then she has not allowed him to see his nieces and nephews, will not let us give them any gifts for holidays or birthdays (we tried having his mom take the gifts to them). I find it absolutely ridiculous, but there is little I can do at this point.


@Sara: Thank you for the kind words, I am trying so hard to get some writing done, it's just been very hard to focus!


@MJ: She is in my opinion, in so many different ways, but as I said, that's just my opinion.


@joann: I thought we had the money situation under control. We had agreed to not loan her money, instead if she needed something that was really necessary and could not wait, that WE would go buy it rather than give her the money. (She'd just go buy beer and smokes with it) Don't get me wrong, what people decide to do is there business but not when WE'RE the ones paying for it. Unfortunately, that "agreement" seemed to just go out the window when she wanted money for a boat. Luckily he did say no when she (not two days later) asked for $1,000 to go on vacation.


@asamvav: I share your sentiments exactly. Child Protective Services has been involved very recently for many different things. My husband and I can do nothing more than we have done, which includes letting the kids know that they always have somewhere to go and someone they can count on. We can only hope that they are willing to use that option if they have to.

Link to comment

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now
  • Create New...

Important Information

Our Privacy Policy can be found here: Privacy Policy. We have placed cookies on your device to help make this website better. You can adjust your cookie settings, otherwise we'll assume you're okay to continue..