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Post-Grad Life Update


TetRefine

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So I graduated. It was the first time that a graduation actually felt like an accomplishment of sorts. Graduating high school wasn't really an accomplishment because if you IQ was above the single digits you would have to work to NOT graduate. They basically spoon feed you through, which IMO does a disservice to those going to college. But thats a different topic. But yeah, I was actually really proud of myself for finishing on time because college was a lot of work, especially the last two years. My parents, best friend, and boyfriend all came down and it was fun.

 

So what am I doing now. Well, being in a relationship kind of complicated plans after I graduated, but not in a detrimental way so to speak. My boyfriend is putting off med school for 2 years so he can build his resume so he can be a competitive applicant for a top-tier medical school. He's already a strong candidate from a top-tier college, but he felt taking two years to work and gain experience would be beneficial. We narrowed our choice list of cities to basically Boston, New York, Philadelphia, DC, and San Diego. I could basically move wherever and find a temporary job until I figured out what I wanted to do. He ended up getting two very good job offers in New York and Philadelphia. New York has always been my dream city, and the prospect of getting to live there was very enticing. The job even had the possibility of subsidized housing, which when living in New York can be huge since rent prices are insanely high. But the job and apartment were in a upper Bronx neighborhood, far from Manhattan or anything exciting, and it would still be expensive to live there. We crunched the numbers and it just didn't add up to anything more then living with zero disposable income.

 

So the next option that we considered was San Diego. The thought of living in California, trying something radically new, living in great year-round weather near the beach was enticing. We never envisioned ourselves living there permanently, but it was an enticing option to try something different. It was a crazy idea to move clear across the country with no jobs in a pricey city knowing nobody. Dream crushed. :P Cross that off the list.

 

So what did that leave us with? Philadelphia. I love this city, and I have come to view it as my adopted home. It may not be as glitzy and famous as New York, or as pristine as San Diego, but its a thriving city of 1.5M people of all sorts with everything you could want in an urban experience. So we settled on Philly, where my boyfriend already had a job offer as a Research Assistant at one of the top hospitals in the country, and my job potential was greater as well. We signed a lease for a 800 square foot apartment (huge by city standards) in a very desirable neighborhood, a block from the subway (yay to a car-free life!), very near Center City, and the area has a thriving ethnic restaurant scene in it's own right. All for half the price of what it would have cost us to live in a dumpy studio in the ghetto in New York or San Diego.

 

I'm still not quite sure what I want to do yet. I'm going through the hiring process for one potential job, but I'm not quite sure I will want it if I do get offered. Then again, its good paying and offers stability, and its a job. Plus it would be really nice not to have to rely on the Bank of Mom & Dad to pay my bills for me. But I've also over the past five or so months come to question my potential career choice that I was so solidly for the first 3.5 years of college. I've come to realize that there are other jobs that I would be happier in and I would be better suited for. Plus I always have to think about the gay thing. But who knows, we shall see what the future brings. I'm moving July 1st and it can't come soon enough.

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It sounds like things are coming together for you both, and I'm glad. Don't let your boy put off school too long, though.

 

There's no doubt you'll find your way. It just takes some folks a while longer to find the path.

 

Best of luck, and regards to C.

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My best wishes to you both.  Getting started after college is both exciting and daunting.

 

The first job is important.  I can see that Cammy's job is in the field he wants to be in.  It shouldn't deter him from pursuing a medical degree.  Your situation isn't bleak at all.  It's not likely that you will be stuck in your first job forever.  Use it as a learning experience...how to deal with other people in the work environment, how to resolve challenges.  Use it as a basis for evaluating other businesses and positions.  There's no reason for the first job, even if you don't really like it, to be a waste of time.  It can serve as preparation for a better situation in the future.

 

Just be glad you don't have to face the military draft.  It can be good experience, but it's the anti-choice first job.

 

By my count, you and Cammy have been together about five years.  You obviously have a great relationship.  Keep working on it and nothing else will be a significant distraction.

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welcome to suckhood...or adulthood or whatever you call it....nah it's not so bad, you feel more worldly being out of school...you'll probably change more in the next 2 years than you did the last 4-8...just saying...

 

some unsolicited advice -

1) don't blow your money

2) don't blow your money..seriously

3) don't blow anyone other than cammy (you are LIVING together)

4) don't blow your job and job hop like a bunny on crack

5) don't blow your boss (see advice #3)

6) don't blow off old friends...the kinda friends you met when young are harder to come by now

7) don't blow your free time and let whatever job you get swallow you up

8) don't blow ur mind thinking you lost out on NYC or San Diego...they ain't all dat foooo

9) don't blow off your health...i see a lotta ppl get fat after school

10) don't blow off your parents...you'll start appreciating them again soon enough.

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