if you're going to lose one or both friends in the process you might as well do the right thing... and by the right thing is... do what your gut/heart tells you to do. Take action in a way that five years from now you'll be able to live with.

James

but thats just my opinion

Tough situation Kurt. I tend to agree with you that it's not your place to tell K. However, I'd tell A that you're friends with K now too and that she can't use you like this.

And you may want to tell A that you don't want to hear anything else about her cheating as you care too much about her baby and her husband.

Your gut instinct is usually a good choice.

I hope it works out for the best for you and your friends.

It looks like the plot for a novel.

John Galaor

Bring them together with you. Tell them that you know they have a problem (dont say which one! ). Dont talk about the problem itself but ask them to let you out of it.

In the same time, tell them that they have to deal themselves with the problem and that you dont want to loose either of them as friend . ("Salomon's judgment !)

Huh... It looks you're going to lose one friend...

Wow...that sucks! and the fact they went all the way further complicates things.

I can't tell you what to do, just what I would do.

I personally couldn't be in that position and would tell her that she has to stop using me as an excuse and that if he asks I wouldn't lie about her 'not being with me'. In terms of telling him, I don't feel that would be my place, however if they continued to see each other (and escalate it like they did) and I continued to hear about it, I would strongly encourage her to tell him/break it off because I couldn't look him in the face knowing all this.

Sorry you are in this shitty position...it is a no win.

kurt-

this is a lose-lose situation.

it is only a matter of time before it explodes.

back away from it slowly before it goes off in your face.

JS

This is a terrible situation!

I would ask A if she is cheating on her husband and tell her that under no circumstances will you lie for her since that puts you in an awkward position.

I don't know whether you should tell K. This depends on the depth of the relationship you have with both of them. I mean if you and A are like totally BFF's then I would protect her, but if not I would tell.

I hope you figure out what to do.

Cruddy situation.

I agree that it's not your place to tell the husband. Nor is it your place to cover for the adulterous wife. Basically, she has two honourable options: she can suck it up and make her marriage work, or she can end it with her husband and make a go of it with her affair or simply by herself. What isn't an honourable option is screwing around, regardless of the circumstances. I'd tell her that you are not going to cover for her and further encourage her to come clean with her husband and/or end her affair for good. If she refuses to do that then I'd make it clear that you're not going to cover for her. I wouldn't tell her husband, but if he asks I'd encourage him to direct his queries toward his wife.

DON'T GET INVOLVED! Stay as far away from the situation as possible.

Eh, just my advice. It is a cruddy situation and there is no good answer. Someone, probably multiple someones are going to get hurt.

Good luck,

Kevin