[CarlHoliday] Out the Door

[CarlHoliday]

My alter ego wrote this story a couple years ago and we thought you might enjoy it. The constant talk about suicide might disturb some, so we understand if you choose not to read it.

 

Carl

[Ieshwar]

Umm, Carl, where's the link? I don't find the story.

 

Ieshwar

[CarlHoliday]

Umm, Carl, where's the link? I don't find the story.

 

Oh, damn! I am so technically unsavy.

 

Out the Door Chapter 1

 

I'm horrible at pushing my stories. I figure if they're good people will find them. One of those cosmic energy thingies. Sort of like you're out looking for a good story and you're drawn to mine, if it's good and it's what you're looking for. It doesn't seem to work all the time, but I suppose those people weren't looking for a story like mine, or I hadn't written a good one. You can't hit the bullseye every time, it's practically impossible. If you do, the I suppose it's one of those cosmic energy thingies.

 

Well, there's the link. If I forget to add it, again, I apologize.

 

Carl

[RJ Santos]

Hey Carl,

 

The story is a bit dark.

 

Although I don't really like stories that shifts perspective while using first person, I wasn't confused by the changes. It's well written, and as far as the plot goes, like I said, it's dark, but it's compelling. I can't wait for the next chapter. I like the sarcasm in some of the statements. And it looks like there are a lot of things to be fixed with both Brandon and Tommy.

 

I'm glad to read something that isn't romance for a change. I've read so much of them that something else really just hooks me. I like your storytelling. And I repeat, I can't wait for the next chapter.

 

I took this line from chapter two, too, because it's so funny:

 

Under her tough exterior, she’s about as warm and cuddly as a pissed off porcupine

 

Keep writing!

 

Rad

[Benji]

.......Interesting story, dark as others noted, but I see a light at the end of his tunnel. The realization that Mom's death was not the trigger for his suicidal tendencies will help in his recovery. Did the growth hormones work?

[CarlHoliday]

Did the growth hormones work?

 

If I tell you that, you won't read the next part, not to say the answer is in the next part.

[CarlHoliday]

Although I don't really like stories that shifts perspective while using first person, I wasn't confused by the changes.

 

When I first came up with this story, the father was telling the story about the death of his son. Then I wrote a piece where Bran was talking about why he did it. And, then, there was Tommy. I thought about expanding the story into something longer with each character having a whole chapter to tell their side of the story, but I really wanted to write a short story, so the jumps occur within each chapter. There is a possiblity I may expand this story out to a longer format. There certainly is enough material.

 

I knew a guy in college who had this and was helped somewhat by hormone treatments. He was almost as tall as the average guy around him, but he was still quite a few years behind in sexual development, kind of like a twelve year old in an eighteen year old's body. Definitely, weird.

[Benji]

If I tell you that, you won't read the next part, not to say the answer is in the next part.

 

 

...........not true! I would read the entire story to finish

[Conner]

*waves to Carl who's just down the road*

 

In my mind, suicide is a subject that needs more open discussion. I find that it's still treated now as mental health issues were treated long ago i.e. not talked about. Story telling is a good way of doing that.

 

I'm enjoying the story very much. The ending of chapter 2 had a real kick to it.

 

Conner

[RJ Santos]

Hey,

 

Just wow! The story is coming off really great just with three chapters. I can't wait for the rest.

 

I like the way you made Tommy and Brandon a couple. They're just gay for each other. I had thought that there would be nothing--no chance--between them since chapter one, but at the end of ch. 3 they've been together for years. It's really great too, the way you advanced the time. It made Brandon and Tommy's relationship look stable, and I like stable.

 

I had thought that this story would be Brandon and Tommy overcoming their fears, but they seem to have solved their problems already. So I really can't see where this story is going. I'm sure though that it's gonna be good.

 

Take care and keep it up!

 

Rad

[CarlHoliday]

I like the way you made Tommy and Brandon a couple. They're just gay for each other. I had thought that there would be nothing--no chance--between them since chapter one, but at the end of ch. 3 they've been together for years. It's really great too, the way you advanced the time. It made Brandon and Tommy's relationship look stable, and I like stable.

 

Having Tommy and Bran as a gay couple only unto themselves seemed interesting to me and something to pursue. Also, I worked very hard to make this a "happy" story. Happy isn't one of my strong suits.

 

Carl

[Conner]

Chapter 3 was superb. I'm starting to like your "two heads are better than one" approach to narrating this tale.

 

Edited August 25, 2007 by Conner

[CarlHoliday]

Chapter 3 was superb. I'm starting to like your "two heads are better than one" approach to narrating this tale.

 

Hey, thanks Conner.

 

The more I think about it, the more I'm convincing myself to expand this story out to a full series of poignant, boring, happy, sad, pathetic, or wonderfully humorous episodes describing Bran and Tommy's life together. If I do that, each character will have a complete chapter to impress the reader with his incompetence at storytelling.

 

Take care,

Carl