Dismantle the Sun

[GaryK]

Thanks for posting another chapter, corvus.

 

Wow, I never thought this would happen so soon. The two silent types finally get together. And Alec of all people seems to take the initiative at first. I thought this would take at least another few chapters. Did anyone else think that listening to opera in the garage, sitting on Nick's father's old sofa would be so romantic? It sure seemed that way to me. This seems to be a special place for Nick seeing as how before Alec he's only shown it to Nelson, his now former best friend.

 

What the heck is going on between Alec and Darius? Or is it Nick and Darius? I'm more confused now than ever. Darius is acting like either a spurned lover of Alec's or a stalker (great word, eh Tiff) of Nick's. Jealous of what seems to be happening between Alec and Nick. Was there some sort of clue in the fact that Alec's father and the school's sports coach seem to be good friends. It's more clear than ever that Nick used to be a jock and the coach isn't pleased with the current state of affairs. Is Darius really a jock after all? There's been no mention of Darius taking part in any sports at his new school.

 

What's with Alec always having to call his father for permission to do things most teens would just go ahead and do? Especially now that we know his dad approves of Nick cause Nick is into sports and can fix things; a man's man, if you will. I wonder if he knows what's really going on between his son and Nick? What'll happen when he finally figures it out?

 

I'm sure I'll have more things to comment on later. I just woke up. The caffeine hasn't hit my brain yet. But I had to read this chapter. I'll read it again when I get back from the grocery store.

Edited May 7, 2008 by GaryInMiami

[Tiff]

I just ate lunch and read the latest chapter. I was so excited. I left a review and since there's fresh material, I rushed right over here to discuss it.

 

This chapter does leave me even more confused, just like Gary said. Even though the whole Alec and Nick hooking up was definitely unexpected, and it made me question Alec's sudden change of heart. Or change of behavior. I wonder if coming on to Nick so strongly had something to do with seeing Darius at the pizza place. Just the night before Alec seemed damn near afraid of Nick and couldn't wait to get away. I'm beginning to wonder if Darius and Alec talked sometime during the night. There's definitely something fishy going on. There's some weird love triangle going on. Is Darius jealous of Nick or Alec. Damn, I want these freaking answers!

 

It was mentioned before that Alec had a funny realationship with his father. There's more of that in this chapter. Most kids just go ahead and do their stuff, or some call, but don't really ask. We do find out more about Alec's family-- his mother living across town and being closer to his father. Perhaps his father is very overprotective? Or maybe his father has an idea that Alec is gay and wants to keep a close watch on him and who he hangs out with. Obviously, he wants Alec to be more manly or whatever, because he approves of Nick who used to be into sports, and does behind the scenes work for the drama club. I think there's definitely more that we don't know and I look forward to finding out, hopefully as Nick and Alec get closer? I just hope that his father wouldn't react badly if he already doesn't know the truth.

 

Right now, since I'm so confused, I don't know who to root for: Alec and Nick, or perhaps something with Darius. I sense there's something more to him, something deeper. Maybe he's not so bad after all. Everyone has their own issues and Darius doesn't seem like a very happy guy anyway. A stupid girlfriend he doesn't seem to like very much, or a lot of friends, or even a close family. Just a lonely rich boy. Well, I could be reading too much into this.

 

Last note, I love Melina. His friendship with Nick is cute and unique. Like they both love to cook, and letting Melina get close to him and enter his house without his permission was worth is because of her awesome pancakes. Or the fact that she came over just to make pancakes. It was very cute. I like friendships like that. I'm still wondering what happened with Nelson. Maybe they're no longer friends because Nick merely got tired of that scene.

 

I really like this story. What a bummer Corvus has finals and then is going to Germany. I'll miss him and his writing.

[corvus]

Great tone and style, very natural. Love all the characters and particularly the ease of conversation between them. What I mean is when I'm writing I always have trouble mixing action with dialogue, I never know what to have my characters do while they're chatting, but you manage this effortlessly. This story is a pleasure to read. Lots more to come soon, I hope.

 

Thanks! I don't find writing a scene to be too difficult, but transitioning from scene to scene, integrating them together, showing the story between each event -- that's harder. I mean, writing a scene vividly is good, but a movie set can do that too. There must be a "higher order" of storytelling.

 

I'm glad everyone is wondering about Alec, Darius, Nick, and Nelson. (No, I'm not leaving any hints in the relative placement of character names... ) And Nick is, like everyone else, in the dark about several matters. So you're not alone.

 

Tiff -- you should be glad I'm going to Germany! Since I can't speak any German, and since I won't have my mom yelling at me to do piano with my brother or my dad telling me to help paint the patio, all I'll be able to do is hole up in my room and write.

 

For those of you who are interested, this is the recording that was playing while Nick and Alec were on the ugly green couch: "Casta Diva".

[canundra]

So I just finished reading the four chapters of 'Dismantle the Sun' and was dismayed when I came upon this: "The End...Maybe?" I'm not a regular of E-fiction (although, I probably should be. There's some pretty good stuff here), so maybe it's normal, but seriously, it can't be the end. Please, someone assure me that this is normal and that corvus is just taking his time cranking out a new chapter.

 

I'm not a fan of Nick/Alec. For some reason, I have this feeling that there are some ulterior motives to Alec's hooking up with Nick. Something sinister. I'm not buying his shy guy attitude at all. His sudden switch in behavior is really the only thing that is fueling this feeling. Alec morphing from a shy guy to suddenly one who's the aggressor doesn't seem right to me. I mean, he's been alone with Nick before. And it should have been obvious that Nick likes him. So why now?

 

I like Darius. Mysterious. Handsome. And rich No, but, seriously, besides his relationship with his dad, I don't find anything interesting about Alec. I'd much rather see Nick get with Darius than with Alec.

 

And geez. Is it just me, or does anyone else feel like Nick should revisit his feelings for his father? It doesn't seem like he knows what to feel. He says he hates his father. But it seems like the only memories he can bring up of his father are the nice ones. I mean, the Mother Goose thing wasn't bad at all. Lol. Or maybe it's just him trying to find something good in something bad. Whatever. I'm not good at this analyzing crap.

 

Landauer is a bitch. Melina is cool.

 

I want Nick to talk to Nelson. And for things to be good between them again.

 

I've just discovered his stories, so I'll be reading his other ones for a while. Although, judging by the comments on this thread, I think I might be staying away from Mike and Winston for a while. I'm not quite in the mood for heartbreaking stories. Lol.

[Cynical Romantic]

Hey Corvus, I was just wondering if/when we can expect an update for this one. Any plans for a chapter 5?

[corvus]

Hey Corvus, I was just wondering if/when we can expect an update for this one. Any plans for a chapter 5?

 

Hmm... wanna be my muse? lol

 

Seriously, I'm not sure. I have it in my head, but I'd need a strong kick in my behind to set it on paper. Glad you've not forgotten it!

[Procyon]

As I said in my review, a great chapter, the most vibrant and 'real' one so far. Also, you manage to give a horrible feeling of foreboding throughout, even at the happiest moments (although one wants to believe it'll go well there, of course). The dark, seemingly empty house and Nick's inability to do something was horrible -- but so well-done. Though you didn't write it one could literally feel how Nick's insides were hollow when he went to the theatre, and later too, when he decided to let Nelson come over. Even worse then.

 

Looking forward to the next chapter, although I can see it'll be really painful for poor Nick...

[Cynical Romantic]

Hey, even when I posted that nag, I wasn't really expecting an update so quickly. Glad to see the new chapter out. Not what I expected at all. Poor Nick, seems like nothing ever goes right for the guy. I feel bad for him. Falling in "love" so fast and hard for a guy he barely knows, and with whom he can't even manage to string together ten seconds of conversation. Yep, that about sums up high school relationships... Poor guy. I can tell this isn't going to be a feel-good story, and it'll be interesting to see how it plays out from here.

[corvus]

Procyon -- glad you appreciate the angst. At least it's not the ploddy sort. And things will start turning up at some point, especially when _________ ____ ________.

 

CR -- to be honest, I didn't expect to post so soon either. I basically wrote the whole chapter in one evening on a whim. In any case, I swear there will be feel-good-ness at some point! (Especially when ___________ ____ _______.)

 

Canundra -- Mike and Winston isn't that angsty! I mean, nobody dies, gets cancer, or gets amnesia. And your assessment of all the implications in DtS is spot on... I'm impressed. But -- video, e taceo. Can't comment too much, as I don't want to spoil things.

[option]

Is there going to be any more to this story?

thanks