[AFriendlyFace] Buy Me A Drink

[Former Member]

waits....... impatiently.

 

 

I second that

[AFriendlyFace]

Alright. It's been a couple of days. We've been patient, since you're busy Kev, and the anthologies all came out, but there are limits. Time for a bribe, I think.

 

Wesley Nault, recently of Project Runway season five.

Oh my!!

 

 

I'll have that chapter right up, Gabe!

[outoftheashes]

Oh my!!

 

 

I'll have that chapter right up, Gabe!

 

 

AHEM??!!

Where is this "right up" that you speak of? It's not nice to keep people waiting.

 

[AFriendlyFace]

AHEM??!!

Where is this "right up" that you speak of? It's not nice to keep people waiting.

 

LOL, it's up

 

In fact it technically was (though only by a very small margin) when you posted that!

 

Here it is: Chapter 10: Breaking Up With My Boyfriend

 

 

 

 

As I said this is the final chapter! I hope you guys enjoy it! Good or bad please let me know what you think of it and the story in general

 

 

Buy Me A Drink will definitely have a sequel. Worth A Shot should begin posting within the next month. Sometime before it does, likely in about a week, I'll release a short story as well

[Cynical Romantic]

Kevin! How could you end the story with a cliffhanger like that??? That's so... evil!!!

 

No, seriously, I thought it was sweet. I also think Aaron is wrong. Really, really wrong. About a lot of stuff. Thankfully there will be a sequel to allow him to muddle through all of it.

 

Thank you for sharing this story.

[AFriendlyFace]

Kevin! How could you end the story with a cliffhanger like that??? That's so... evil!!!

 

 

I really didn't think it was a cliffhanger at all! In fact I considered ending the whole thing there and would have felt like that was an ok place. LOL, I guess there's some disagreement about that

 

No, seriously, I thought it was sweet. I also think Aaron is wrong. Really, really wrong. About a lot of stuff. Thankfully there will be a sequel to allow him to muddle through all of it.

hehe, like what?

 

 

Thank you for sharing this story.

The pleasure was all mine

[Tiger]

That was a good chapter as always. I happen to think the ending was a good one. As for the sequel, it will be interesting to see where it goes.

[Former Member]

Ah Kev, thats just mean! A whole month until we hear from Aaron again!

 

I loved this story! I had a great time reading, and always eagerly awaited the release of each new chapter. For me quirkiness is the best trait I can find in a story, and you nailed it.

 

Thanks again, and don't leave us hanging too long!

[AFriendlyFace]

That was a good chapter as always. I happen to think the ending was a good one. As for the sequel, it will be interesting to see where it goes.

Thanks, Tim

 

Do you want to?

 

I need to start sending you the prologue and first few chapters if/when you're ready

 

Ah Kev, thats just mean! A whole month until we hear from Aaron again!

 

I loved this story! I had a great time reading, and always eagerly awaited the release of each new chapter. For me quirkiness is the best trait I can find in a story, and you nailed it.

 

Thanks again, and don't leave us hanging too long!

Wow thanks, Jess! I really appreciate that!

 

LOL, clearly you guys would not have been happy if I'd ended the whole series there! That was a possibility if the story had been poorly received and/or I'd lost interest in it. As it is though, I actually haven't addressed any of the major things I wanted to address yet. So you guys can expect an eventful Worth A Shot.

 

Incidentally, as I said, in many ways I consider BMAD to be one big prologue to Worth A Shot. It pretty much just sets the stage for everything to come.

 

I'm hoping it won't be a full month, but it depends on how much writing I can get done! Also, I can't wait for you guys to read next week's short story (I've had it written for nearly two years now!).

[steph]

personally, I'm glad that Aaron didn't lead Mick on, no matter how nice Mick is --or maybe because of how nice Mick is.

 

kev, one thing I noticed it that the chunk of narrative was not as big a problem here as it was in Coffee. I think it had to do with the intensity of the chapter. this definitely was the most intense chapter yet. I think it might actually be one of my favorite chapters.

[Maddy]

I really enjoyed the chapter, and the story as a whole . You seem to have a very good grasp of the human condition Kevin (particularly obvious in the characters' peculiar sense of humor). I think it's a great cliffhanger, considering you've already told us there is more to come.

 

One thing though: I think the title might have been a little out of place. I'm assuming it is either foreshadowing of events to come or an internal conflict that wasn't quite addressed.

 

Maddy (:

[Tiger]

Kevin, you can send it via email any time.

[Tiff]

What can I say, Kevin? LOL. Fantastic, as usual.

 

This was definitely the most emotional chapter. The revelations, the speculations, it was so much. Like a punch to the gut. I like that Aaron is finally analyzing some things in his life instead of being somewhat oblivious. Btw, the tantrum scene was funny, as was Jake's little bout of tough love.

 

For me, the story ends on a sad note (until the sequel, that is), but in this case, I wouldn't want it any other way. Aaron explained it perfectly. He and Mick love one another too much to just be together, when Aaron knows Mick deserves more, and Aaron knows that he loves Ben. You can't change how you feel. What a beautiful friendship, and surprisingly drama free, except for Aaron being in utter turmoil. It's not like Mick is trying to persuade Aaron. In fact, he wants what is best for Aaron, and knows that he isn't it. Man, I just love Mick. He's so caring and honorable. Still feeling sad over here. Sigh, you and your wonderfully evil ways, Kev.

 

As funny as this entire story was, and as much as I enjoy your creative humor, this chapter was my favorite.

 

Well done, and can't wait for more.

[B1ue]

Hmm. Well, I guess I'll be honest.

 

This last chapter was somewhat of a let down. I'm trying to quantify why it feels a trifle incomplete, but the best I can come up with is that while we, the readers, know exactly what Aaron is thinking...that's it. No one else knows what's going through that pretty little head of his, and there are certain people to whom that information is not only important but quite deserved. Nothing gets resolved in this chapter, not visibly. While writing conventions have moved on, and stories may be ended with more than either a wedding or death, there does need to be something. Draining the last dregs of a wine glass, laughing at something that isn't really funny, being awoken by a sunrise in the arms of your lover, something! An action please, not an internal monologue. And let it be something that signifies to all and sundry where Aaron stands in regards to Ben and Mick.

 

I guess what I'm trying to say is that this did not feel like the end of a story. It felt like the end of a chapter. That may be valid; you've said "Buy Me a Drink" is really an extended prologue to Worth a Shot, but don't you think that this story is owed a summation in its own right? If the story was really about Ben and Aaron getting together, it feels improper to not end on that note. If, as I feel, "Buy Me a Drink" was about Aaron's relationship with Mick, then your story isn't over yet. Mick and Aaron need to break up, or hook up, or something that actually evolves their relationship. You are so close. Take the next step in this dance you have Mick and Aaron locked in.

 

Or step back, and just make this story about Ben and Aaron.

[AFriendlyFace]

personally, I'm glad that Aaron didn't lead Mick on, no matter how nice Mick is --or maybe because of how nice Mick is.

 

kev, one thing I noticed it that the chunk of narrative was not as big a problem here as it was in Coffee. I think it had to do with the intensity of the chapter. this definitely was the most intense chapter yet. I think it might actually be one of my favorite chapters.

Thanks Steph! It was my favourite one as well, and I was trying to make it the most intense.

 

I really enjoyed the chapter, and the story as a whole . You seem to have a very good grasp of the human condition Kevin (particularly obvious in the characters' peculiar sense of humor). I think it's a great cliffhanger, considering you've already told us there is more to come.

Thanks Maddy!

 

One thing though: I think the title might have been a little out of place. I'm assuming it is either foreshadowing of events to come or an internal conflict that wasn't quite addressed.

LOL, I love talking about my chapter titles!

 

The title to this chapter got changed. It was originally "The Truth Really Hurts" - with an emphasis on 'Really', it was a reference to chapter 6's title. I thought it sucked!

 

I came up with "Breaking Up With My Boyfriend" and found it much more appropriate.

 

It goes back to what Steph speculated at the end of chapter 9. Aaron essentially broke up with his 'pretend boyfriend', Mick. It was supposed to sort of keep the reader guessing until the end since Ben and Mick were both Aaron's 'boyfriends' in different ways.

 

I didn't mean for it to seem incomplete or like foreshadowing. I wanted that chapter to give resolution about which direction Aaron would head. Basically in chapters 8,9, and 10 he was torn between Ben and Mick in one way or another. He wasn't completely focusing on either. Now, he's 'broken up' with Mick (even if it was only in his own head). I don't want that to imply that they won't be friends anymore, only that Aaron will give his primary time and attention to Ben now.

 

Kevin, you can send it via email any time.

Thanks Tim

 

I will!

 

Hehe, there's a special 'treat' in chapter one; I can't wait for your feedback on it! (and everyone else's!)

 

What can I say, Kevin? LOL. Fantastic, as usual.

 

This was definitely the most emotional chapter. The revelations, the speculations, it was so much. Like a punch to the gut. I like that Aaron is finally analyzing some things in his life instead of being somewhat oblivious. Btw, the tantrum scene was funny, as was Jake's little bout of tough love.

 

Awww thanks, Tiff!

 

 

For me, the story ends on a sad note (until the sequel, that is), but in this case, I wouldn't want it any other way. Aaron explained it perfectly. He and Mick love one another too much to just be together, when Aaron knows Mick deserves more, and Aaron knows that he loves Ben. You can't change how you feel. What a beautiful friendship, and surprisingly drama free, except for Aaron being in utter turmoil. It's not like Mick is trying to persuade Aaron. In fact, he wants what is best for Aaron, and knows that he isn't it. Man, I just love Mick. He's so caring and honorable. Still feeling sad over here. Sigh, you and your wonderfully evil ways, Kev.

Thanks, I was trying to show that Aaron and Mick both had each other's best interests at heart.

 

I was kinda thinking people would either crucify Mick for not telling Aaron (assuming Aaron is correct), or crucify Aaron for not actually confronting Mick. I think those are actually fairly valid points personally, but I wanted to show that they each had good intentions and honourable motives.

 

 

As funny as this entire story was, and as much as I enjoy your creative humor, this chapter was my favorite.

 

Well done, and can't wait for more.

Thanks!!

 

Hmm. Well, I guess I'll be honest.

 

This last chapter was somewhat of a let down. I'm trying to quantify why it feels a trifle incomplete, but the best I can come up with is that while we, the readers, know exactly what Aaron is thinking...that's it. No one else knows what's going through that pretty little head of his, and there are certain people to whom that information is not only important but quite deserved. Nothing gets resolved in this chapter, not visibly. While writing conventions have moved on, and stories may be ended with more than either a wedding or death, there does need to be something. Draining the last dregs of a wine glass, laughing at something that isn't really funny, being awoken by a sunrise in the arms of your lover, something! An action please, not an internal monologue. And let it be something that signifies to all and sundry where Aaron stands in regards to Ben and Mick.

 

I guess what I'm trying to say is that this did not feel like the end of a story. It felt like the end of a chapter. That may be valid; you've said "Buy Me a Drink" is really an extended prologue to Worth a Shot, but don't you think that this story is owed a summation in its own right? If the story was really about Ben and Aaron getting together, it feels improper to not end on that note. If, as I feel, "Buy Me a Drink" was about Aaron's relationship with Mick, then your story isn't over yet. Mick and Aaron need to break up, or hook up, or something that actually evolves their relationship. You are so close. Take the next step in this dance you have Mick and Aaron locked in.

 

Or step back, and just make this story about Ben and Aaron.

 

Wow! Thanks Gabe! I think you've made some excellent points. In fact I think you're straight up right.

 

It looks like it's generally pretty well agreed upon that BMAD wouldn't work as a single story in its own right with this conclusion.

 

Despite what everyone seems to think, I really didn't mean for this to be a big cliffhanger. Fortunately there is more to the story, because if there weren't I may have ended the story completely just like that. On the other hand I might not have.

 

Basically what happened is that when I finished chapter 10 (which I'd never intended to be the last chapter prior to writing it) I realized that it seemed pretty final (to me anyway). I also realized that essentially everything after it would be very different from everything before it.

 

I guess you could say that I ended it 'paragraph style'. Basically it seemed right to end the story because I was done with 'that thought'. Everything in the next 'paragraph' will go in a different direction. However, I should have followed the fundamental rules of writing and not changed paragraphs until I'd finished properly expounding on the last one.

 

I went to bed shortly after completely chapter 10 and the more I thought about where I wanted to take the story and what was going to happen next, the more I became convinced that chapter 10 was a good stopping point.

 

I re-wrote the end of chapter 10 several times, in fact it's the most edited chapter (poor Sharon kept editing it only to have me completely change it again :wacko: )

 

Another thing I toyed with was simply re-writing the end of the Aaron/Mick bedroom scene a bit and having chapter 10 end there. THEN, using the subsequent brief monologue as a sort of mini-epilogue. Ultimately I decided that was pointless though, and that it might seem abrupt (even more so evidently) to end the story at the bedroom scene.

 

So yeah, I probably goofed up pretty big

 

Thanks for letting me know and explaining why...I might not have gotten it at all otherwise

 

I hope this doesn't shake anyone's faith in my ability to properly end a story (which I think is a very valid consideration when deciding whether or not to read). I already have the ending of WAS planned out and it really really seems final to me.

[Cynical Romantic]

Okay, I guess I should explain what I meant when I said that I thought Aaron was wrong.

 

See, I think Aaron believes that he is "in love with Ben" and merely "loves Mick". I think he has all the rationalization and all the logic worked out in his mind, exactly as you wrote it. And, given what you have told us about him, I totally get why he believes that. It's very easy to confuse lust and love, especially the first few times around.

 

Yes, that's exactly what I think is going on here. Aaron is in lust with Ben. Not in love with him. Hell, he hardly even knows him. There's obviously a physical attraction. There's obviously a "rush", a sense of "adventure" as Aaron puts it. There's not a small amount of confusion due to simple horomones, too. After all, Aaron and Ben have done some heavy-duty making out (love that "shortstop" metaphor) but Aaron and Mick haven't crossed any lines, so that's probably clouding Aaron's judgment, too. Besides, I think Aaron has been flattered all along by Ben's attention, in a "what could a guy like that see in a guy like me?" kind of way. Not that Ben is better than Aaron, just that Aaron's insecurities may be leading him to believe that.

 

But love... Aaron is confusing the butterflies with the real thing. What he has with Mick - the comfort, the security, the trust... the physical attraction, yes, but mostly the sense that Mick is "home"... that's love. I just don't think Aaron has the capacity to understand that just yet, even despite all the psych courses he's taken. He hasn't experienced enough yet to know it.

 

Now, I don't know whether Mick loves Aaron. You haven't given us enough to go on, even despite Ben's suspicions and Jake's near-certainty. We haven't seen it from Mick, and really, what other people think doesn't matter. Maybe Mick is really in love with Aaron. Maybe he's not. If he is, I suspect he might be either unsure of his sexuality and therefore unsure whether he can be what Aaron needs, or maybe he knows that Aaron is nowhere near ready to love him back yet. Maybe he's encouraging Aaron to go out and have his fun with guys like Ben, so he can learn a few lessons about lust versus love, and he'll be more ready to love him then. (If that's the case, I'd like to hit Mick over the head with a 2x4, because all that nonsense about "if you love someone, set them free", etc. is just that... nonsense. Timing is everything, and if you let your chance slip away, you could live with a lifetime of regret when someone else gets there first. But I digress...) Anyway, whatever Mick's motivations are, I guess they'll be clearer in the sequel, but I'm more talking about what Aaron is going through.

 

Ever see the movie "Almost Famous" where Philip Seymour Hoffman's character is talking about how most of the great art in the world is about "love disguised as sex, and sex disguised as love"? I think that's an apt description of what's going on here.

 

And hey, we've all been there at least once. Aaron's in good company.

 

I don't know whether this is what you had in mind. Maybe you believe the opposite, and hey, you're the author, so you pretty much get to write it as you see it. But if you're gonna write such lifelike characters, you can't blame 'em for taking on a life of their own, and maybe heading in directions that even you didn't intend, right?

 

Looking forward to the sequel!

[wildone]

Kev,

 

Thank you very much for sharing this story with us , as I think I said earlier, it is one story that I was checking daily for new chapters, and there are few stories that I do that. I will be waiting eagerly for WAS to come out to see where this goes to.

 

I am actually glad that you took the time in the forums to tell us that this story was more or less a prologue for WAS. I do believe that if someone was reading it without having any knowledge of continuation, they may feel let down.

 

Let me explain that, hopefully before you take that the wrong way....negatively.

 

The one thing that worked in BMAD as a prologue which I don't personally believe would work in a stand alone story would be the character development. Off the start we all saw what type of person Aaron was, and didn't have too much development of other characters like Mick and Jake until the end of the story. We were also introduced to Ronnie (who played a major role in one chapter), and also early on we were introduced to Ben and his circle of friends. When Aaron first started talking with Ben, and considered he was falling for Ben, we learned more about Ben and those friends. Unfortunately any development of those friends characters were noticeably stopped, and Ben was the sole focus, then moved onto Jake and Mick.

 

We now have about nine characters that seem to be important to the development of the story but only about 3 have what I consider their 'due' in development.

 

I kept this in mind the entire time that I was reading BMAD and kept reminding myself that more would come in the next story.

 

Hopefully this is true

 

Tiff said this, and I agree, but maybe had a little different view:

 

This was definitely the most emotional chapter. The revelations, the speculations, it was so much. Like a punch to the gut. I like that Aaron is finally analyzing some things in his life instead of being somewhat oblivious. Btw, the tantrum scene was funny, as was Jake's little bout of tough love.

 

When I read the highlighted part I had a different impression (which I may be misreading Tiff's comment and if I am...Sorry )

 

I always thought that Aaron actually over analyzed things. Unfortunately all he really looked at was others. I believe that Aaron grew in the sense that he began to look in the mirror, which is much harder to do, and began analyzing himself rather than staying in his comfort zone and looking at others. I found the notebook at the bar, the school projects, etc. showed he was very observant of others, but was in the dark or afraid to do so for himself. The way he just accepted Mick and his generosity and friendship would be the most major point.

 

But hey, that's just my opinion . LOL

 

Once again thanks for sharing Kevin, I've really enjoyed this part of the story.

 

Steve

[AFriendlyFace]

Okay, I guess I should explain what I meant when I said that I thought Aaron was wrong.

 

See, I think Aaron believes that he is "in love with Ben" and merely "loves Mick". I think he has all the rationalization and all the logic worked out in his mind, exactly as you wrote it. And, given what you have told us about him, I totally get why he believes that. It's very easy to confuse lust and love, especially the first few times around.

 

Yes, that's exactly what I think is going on here. Aaron is in lust with Ben. Not in love with him. Hell, he hardly even knows him. There's obviously a physical attraction. There's obviously a "rush", a sense of "adventure" as Aaron puts it. There's not a small amount of confusion due to simple horomones, too. After all, Aaron and Ben have done some heavy-duty making out (love that "shortstop" metaphor) but Aaron and Mick haven't crossed any lines, so that's probably clouding Aaron's judgment, too. Besides, I think Aaron has been flattered all along by Ben's attention, in a "what could a guy like that see in a guy like me?" kind of way. Not that Ben is better than Aaron, just that Aaron's insecurities may be leading him to believe that.

 

But love... Aaron is confusing the butterflies with the real thing. What he has with Mick - the comfort, the security, the trust... the physical attraction, yes, but mostly the sense that Mick is "home"... that's love. I just don't think Aaron has the capacity to understand that just yet, even despite all the psych courses he's taken. He hasn't experienced enough yet to know it.

 

Now, I don't know whether Mick loves Aaron. You haven't given us enough to go on, even despite Ben's suspicions and Jake's near-certainty. We haven't seen it from Mick, and really, what other people think doesn't matter. Maybe Mick is really in love with Aaron. Maybe he's not. If he is, I suspect he might be either unsure of his sexuality and therefore unsure whether he can be what Aaron needs, or maybe he knows that Aaron is nowhere near ready to love him back yet. Maybe he's encouraging Aaron to go out and have his fun with guys like Ben, so he can learn a few lessons about lust versus love, and he'll be more ready to love him then. (If that's the case, I'd like to hit Mick over the head with a 2x4, because all that nonsense about "if you love someone, set them free", etc. is just that... nonsense. Timing is everything, and if you let your chance slip away, you could live with a lifetime of regret when someone else gets there first. But I digress...) Anyway, whatever Mick's motivations are, I guess they'll be clearer in the sequel, but I'm more talking about what Aaron is going through.

 

I want to be really careful what I say to avoid giving out spoilers, but I have to say I think this is an extremely well thought-out analysis! As the author I don't want to confirm or discredit it, but I'm dying to hear what other readers think about it!

 

 

Ever see the movie "Almost Famous" where Philip Seymour Hoffman's character is talking about how most of the great art in the world is about "love disguised as sex, and sex disguised as love"? I think that's an apt description of what's going on here.

Thanks for the movie recommendation! I'm actually having a movie night with some friends Saturday. I'll recommend this one! I think that's an extremely astute evaluation in general my lips are sealed about how it ties into BMAD/WAS though

 

And hey, we've all been there at least once. Aaron's in good company.

Very true!

 

I don't know whether this is what you had in mind. Maybe you believe the opposite, and hey, you're the author, so you pretty much get to write it as you see it. But if you're gonna write such lifelike characters, you can't blame 'em for taking on a life of their own, and maybe heading in directions that even you didn't intend, right?

 

Looking forward to the sequel!

Thanks, Cyn! I really appreciate it! I hope you enjoy the sequel as well!

 

Kev,

 

Thank you very much for sharing this story with us , as I think I said earlier, it is one story that I was checking daily for new chapters, and there are few stories that I do that. I will be waiting eagerly for WAS to come out to see where this goes to.

Wow! Thanks Steve! I'm really flattered!

 

I am actually glad that you took the time in the forums to tell us that this story was more or less a prologue for WAS. I do believe that if someone was reading it without having any knowledge of continuation, they may feel let down.

 

Let me explain that, hopefully before you take that the wrong way....negatively.

 

The one thing that worked in BMAD as a prologue which I don't personally believe would work in a stand alone story would be the character development. Off the start we all saw what type of person Aaron was, and didn't have too much development of other characters like Mick and Jake until the end of the story. We were also introduced to Ronnie (who played a major role in one chapter), and also early on we were introduced to Ben and his circle of friends. When Aaron first started talking with Ben, and considered he was falling for Ben, we learned more about Ben and those friends. Unfortunately any development of those friends characters were noticeably stopped, and Ben was the sole focus, then moved onto Jake and Mick.

 

We now have about nine characters that seem to be important to the development of the story but only about 3 have what I consider their 'due' in development.

I'm really glad you commented on this!

 

My personal impression of character development thus far is indeed that it's focused on Aaron, Ben, and Mick. However, I also feel like we've got a decent handle - or at least the beginning of one - on Ronnie (who, IMO, played a major role in chapter 3: Makeover Madness as well as Chapter 9: I Can't Even Think Straight ).

 

It's my opinion that Ronnie, Jake, and Cosmo have had a fairly influential hand in the events thus far. I agree that Jake is one of the more fleshed out characters so far, but I feel like we're starting to see decent development with Cosmo as well (though probably not to quite the same extent as Jake and Ronnie).

 

I will admit that Amanda, Daisy, and Giorgio are the most mysterious characters as this point!

 

As I see the story, Aaron is the 'main character'. This is more about him than it is about Ben, Mick, or anyone else. Ben and Mick would definitely be on the next tier and in many ways they're really only a couple of notches down from Aaron.

 

Cosmo, Ronnie, and Jake are the three most important 'supporting characters'. I expect to have them really well developed by the end of the story (the final end that is).

 

Daisy, and Giorgio would slip in after them and I expect them to get a very fair and thorough due as well.

 

Amanda creeps in just behind them. I'm not completely sure where she'll take me at this point. I confess that thus far in the story, and thus far in what I've written of WAS, her primary function has been in terms of how she relates to Jake and Ronnie (who as I said I would consider two of my most important 'non-starring' characters if you will).

 

So you're right, Steve: I have nine characters so far that have an important role in the development of the story.

 

I will say that my opinion and analysis so far is based on BMAD, what I've written of WAS, and the outline I have. There will definitely be other characters in the sequel who may or may not be enduring, and these characters, as well as the ones mentioned above, are certainly 'subject to change' in terms of their importance and focus. I'm not going to be rigid and refuse to let the story take me where it feels appropriate.

 

 

 

I kept this in mind the entire time that I was reading BMAD and kept reminding myself that more would come in the next story.

 

Hopefully this is true

Well, you mentioned that you thought Aaron, Ben, Mick and Jake had had a lot 'screen time' , I'll say this the first few chapters of WAS focus a good bit of attention on the development of another character.

 

Anyway, I'm a very character oriented writer, so I certainly hope I am able to give all nine (and maybe more ) their fair due.

 

 

I always thought that Aaron actually over analyzed things. Unfortunately all he really looked at was others. I believe that Aaron grew in the sense that he began to look in the mirror, which is much harder to do, and began analyzing himself rather than staying in his comfort zone and looking at others. I found the notebook at the bar, the school projects, etc. showed he was very observant of others, but was in the dark or afraid to do so for himself. The way he just accepted Mick and his generosity and friendship would be the most major point.

I think that's definitely a very sensible and accurate analysis as well!

 

 

Thanks Steve, I hope you enjoy the sequel as well!

 

-Kevin

[Cynical Romantic]

Thanks for the movie recommendation! I'm actually having a movie night with some friends Saturday. I'll recommend this one! I think that's an extremely astute evaluation in general my lips are sealed about how it ties into BMAD/WAS though

 

Yeah, do that! That movie is full of great quotes. I won't post them here to avoid spoilers, but some of my favourite observations about human nature can be found in that script.

[Richard Lyon]

I read the whole thing in more or less one go. It was fun!

 

The writing style is really well matched to the light and somewhat campy content. The characters are just quirky enough to save them from falling into stereotypes.

 

The only negative criticism I have to make is the "interlude" between ch6 and ch7. It was something of a plot stopper and all of the information it provided could have been worked into the ongoing narrative.

[Rakuten06]

Wow! It was a fantastic story! Sometimes I have the goat in my head when I read the end of Chapter 10, a cliffhanger that hangs us till the next month. I think Mick had romantic feelings for Aaron but he's too scared to mention it because Mick wants to continue trying other people, not knowing that Aaron is maybe his true love.

 

In the end of the chapter, I think Aaron is not romancially involved with Mick or Ben. It would be a hard decision to choose one from those two guys who are different from each other in the terms of personality.

 

Again, Thank you for cooking up a fantastic story!!

[AFriendlyFace]

I read the whole thing in more or less one go. It was fun!

 

The writing style is really well matched to the light and somewhat campy content. The characters are just quirky enough to save them from falling into stereotypes.

 

The only negative criticism I have to make is the "interlude" between ch6 and ch7. It was something of a plot stopper and all of the information it provided could have been worked into the ongoing narrative.

Thanks Richard

 

I appreciate the comments!

 

*sigh*

 

Yes, that interlude seems about as popular Tobasco sauce at an ice cream party

 

Oh well, live and learn.

 

Thanks for the feedback!

 

Wow! It was a fantastic story! Sometimes I have the goat in my head when I read the end of Chapter 10, a cliffhanger that hangs us till the next month. I think Mick had romantic feelings for Aaron but he's too scared to mention it because Mick wants to continue trying other people, not knowing that Aaron is maybe his true love.

 

In the end of the chapter, I think Aaron is not romancially involved with Mick or Ben. It would be a hard decision to choose one from those two guys who are different from each other in the terms of personality.

 

Again, Thank you for cooking up a fantastic story!!

 

Thank you very much, John!

 

Sorry to leave ya hanging, lol.

 

I'm looking forward to starting to release the next story. Unfortunately things are a bit hectic right now and I don't think I can for a couple more weeks at least.

 

I hope everyone can hang on

 

 

Take care and have an awesome day!

Kevin

[Rafael]

New poster here, and I've been following this story for a while, and having read Ch. 10 and Cynical Romantic's post, I had to register to add in my two (or 10) cents.

 

First of all, I LOVED this story. The writing overall, in all chapters, was witty, catching, funny, and poignant. Aaron is a character many can relate to. All of the characters introduced in this story are...either characters I related to, or reminded me of people I have met. The action scenes were very, very well done. The internal narration was good too.

 

So, I LOVED this story...right up until Ch. 10.

 

When I finished it, it didn't feel like an 'end' to the story at all-- more like an actual beginning. I, too, felt let down, and like I was left hanging. The fact it is noted as a 'prologue' here, did soothe the pain. I think Cynical Romantic was right on the money, but to build on what they said...

 

With the possible exception of Mick and Jake (whose role is pretty clearly minor), the other characters only felt introduced to me-- particularly Ben.

 

I think that is where my issues lie.

 

There were passages and points that gave an insight into the others, but on the whole, the contrast between how fleshed out Aaron was and the others was pretty marked. That may be natural in a 'prologue,' and Aaron is the narrator. But when I finished the story, I felt like I had a sense of who Aaron was, and a decent sense of who Mick was (confusion about his sexuality notwithstanding), but I had no idea who Ben really was, nor the true dynamic to Ben's group of friends.

 

Throughout the 10 chapters, there seemed to be three possible scenarios you were setting up:

 

1) Ben is bad news, and through him Aaron falls into something really bad-- the drugs, alcohol, bad co-dependent psycho drama that you have alluded to... only to come to his senses or be 'saved' from that by Mick and realize Mick is THE ONE for him... and they may have some angst, but live happily ever after.

 

Alternatively...

 

2) Ben is a good guy, and turns into a real character with depth and something real. A true love develops between him and Aaron... and it's rocky at points, drama-filled, but Mick becomes truly a casualty of those 'best friends' we wish we could be in love with, but just aren't. Maybe Mick even ends up falling into the bad spiral alluded to...or just ends up happy with someone else.

 

Alternatively...

 

3) Ben turns into a real character. He is good and bad, and he and Aaron have a crazy rollercoaster, but they ultimately break up, with it concluding that Aaron realizes Mick is the ONE and those two working it out to live happily after.

 

All three could be very powerful stories, but right now...

 

Ben isn't really fleshed out to me. Not much of his background is known. I don't have a strong enough impression of him to know if he is a "good guy" or a "bad guy." I don't know if he is someone that I want Aaron to fall in love with.

 

I definitely like Aaron. He is a good guy, and I want him to end up happy and in love with someone good, who loves him. (yeah, I am sappy like that )

 

Mick is clearly a good guy. And Mick and Aaron have a history that is portrayed well. There is a depth to "them." There is an emotional connection, which comes through as very strong, even if not overtly sexual. The sexual subtext to them I saw pretty early on. But if nothing else, Mick and Aaron came through as friends, and 'friends to the end.' And that was really well done.

 

So, Mick would be someone I would want Aaron to 'live happily ever after' with. And vice versa.

 

By reverse, we the readers did not see an emotional connection between Aaron and Ben that was powerful enough to make there be something real between them.

 

There was a little development between Aaron and Ben, but there was not a love scene... nor a challenge that elevated what is between them to something that could be called 'love' or even a very strong emotion (apart from lust or that stupid-in-love infatuation).

 

So, like Cynical Romantic... that Aaron could really be in love with Ben seemed incongruous to me. If anything, the romance between them simply served as a foil for Aaron's relationship with Mick-- a catalyst to bring it to the point you ended it with: us realizing there is a lot more or potentially a lot more between Aaron and Mick.

 

Overall, the transition Ben made from BMAD to "Ben" (an actual person) was well done. The initial attraction was well written. The makeover that Aaron gets to get his attention was funny. The scene outside the club was good-- especially the "having a Joan Collins moment" line. The scene in the park was beautiful...and gave the beginnings of something possibly "real" between Ben and Aaron.

 

But again, there wasn't the emotional scene between Aaron and Ben that would make me believe Aaron really was 'in love' with Ben...or anything close to something real is between them. There wasn't a sex scene to fully put them in the honeymoon stages of a real relationship. They have said they are 'boyfriends,' and the scene in the park was good, but it still feels very much like they are strangers.

 

Because we know very little about Ben, it feels like Aaron knows very little about him. So, I may agree that Aaron plausibly believes himself in love with Ben... but unless stuff happened "off camera" to make it more...it didn't work for me.

 

FYI, unlike others I did like the scene with Ben at the coffeehouse. It revealed or at least hinted that there IS more to Ben and his coterie than just pretty club goers. It was emotionally engaging for me as a reader and helped give Ben some indication of being a person that I would possibly want the protagonist to 'love' and being real enough to love.

 

Anyway, I am wondering if my reactions are what you deliberately wanted the readers to feel?

 

Also, the "twist" with Mick being in love in Aaron was something I saw early on... but the reaction Aaron had to it... mmm... well, my reaction to that was mixed.

 

Maybe I am looking at it through the eyes of someone about 30, because I can remember that "stupid in love" feeling, but am old enough to know the difference between "love" and "infatuation."

 

But with Mick and Aaron, I sense love. Real love. In fact, I kind of wanted to shake Aaron being too blind or too emo to realize the greatness that Mick and he really are... and going for that.

 

Is that how I was supposed to feel?

 

Once I got over my "ack! what do you mean that is the end?!!?" I do wonder...where is it going to go?

 

I really want to know.

 

Why is Mick so torn up? Who is Ben? What is the story behind his friends? Who will Aaron end up with? Will it be a happy ending (God I hope so) or a tragic one?

 

Because I am asking those questions, you've sucked me into the story. I care about the characters. I want to know more. It was incredibly good writing, and it engaged me.

 

But a 'prologue,' is I think the right word for the story as it stands now.

 

I do apologize for babbling, but... it is a great story. Please don't leave me hanging! And thank you for writing it.

 

Edited August 2, 2008 by Rafael

[AFriendlyFace]

Hey Rafael!

 

Thank you very much for your excellent and insightful comment!

 

New poster here, and I've been following this story for a while, and having read Ch. 10 and Cynical Romantic's post, I had to register to add in my two (or 10) cents.

 

First of all, I LOVED this story. The writing overall, in all chapters, was witty, catching, funny, and poignant. Aaron is a character many can relate to. All of the characters introduced in this story are...either characters I related to, or reminded me of people I have met. The action scenes were very, very well done. The internal narration was good too.

Thanks, and I'm flattered that you registered to comment!

 

So, I LOVED this story...right up until Ch. 10.

 

When I finished it, it didn't feel like an 'end' to the story at all-- more like an actual beginning. I, too, felt let down, and like I was left hanging. The fact it is noted as a 'prologue' here, did soothe the pain. I think Cynical Romantic was right on the money, but to build on what they said...

I'm sorry you felt let down

 

As I said, I realize now that I probably didn't end this phase of the story as well as I'd hoped. However, I actually take some solace in the fact that you feel as though the end was like a new beginning! That's sort of ideal really

 

With the possible exception of Mick and Jake (whose role is pretty clearly minor), the other characters only felt introduced to me-- particularly Ben.

I think that's a direct consequence of the story being told through Aaron's voice. He knows Mick and Jake and I wanted it to feel that way. The rest of the characters are rather mysterious to him at this point. They won't be by the end of the Worth A Shot though

 

 

1) Ben is bad news, and through him Aaron falls into something really bad-- the drugs, alcohol, bad co-dependent psycho drama that you have alluded to... only to come to his senses or be 'saved' from that by Mick and realize Mick is THE ONE for him... and they may have some angst, but live happily ever after.

 

Alternatively...

 

2) Ben is a good guy, and turns into a real character with depth and something real. A true love develops between him and Aaron... and it's rocky at points, drama-filled, but Mick becomes truly a casualty of those 'best friends' we wish we could be in love with, but just aren't. Maybe Mick even ends up falling into the bad spiral alluded to...or just ends up happy with someone else.

 

Alternatively...

 

3) Ben turns into a real character. He is good and bad, and he and Aaron have a crazy rollercoaster, but they ultimately break up, with it concluding that Aaron realizes Mick is the ONE and those two working it out to live happily after.

 

Good storylines indeed! I'll also say that all three are ones that I had considered. So I may be following one of the three, or maybe a modified version of one of the three, or maybe I'll take the story in a new direction, but either way, yep, good storylines that I had considered!

 

 

I definitely like Aaron. He is a good guy, and I want him to end up happy and in love with someone good, who loves him. (yeah, I am sappy like that )

 

Mick is clearly a good guy. And Mick and Aaron have a history that is portrayed well. There is a depth to "them." There is an emotional connection, which comes through as very strong, even if not overtly sexual. The sexual subtext to them I saw pretty early on. But if nothing else, Mick and Aaron came through as friends, and 'friends to the end.' And that was really well done.

 

So, Mick would be someone I would want Aaron to 'live happily ever after' with. And vice versa.

Thanks! I'm really pleased that you care about what happens to them! I will say that there's a lot more in store for both of them

 

By reverse, we the readers did not see an emotional connection between Aaron and Ben that was powerful enough to make there be something real between them.

 

There was a little development between Aaron and Ben, but there was not a love scene... nor a challenge that elevated what is between them to something that could be called 'love' or even a very strong emotion (apart from lust or that stupid-in-love infatuation).

 

So, like Cynical Romantic... that Aaron could really be in love with Ben seemed incongruous to me. If anything, the romance between them simply served as a foil for Aaron's relationship with Mick-- a catalyst to bring it to the point you ended it with: us realizing there is a lot more or potentially a lot more between Aaron and Mick.

Thanks, I think you're right. If I were Aaron I don't think I'd be in love with Ben either. On the other hand, Aaron's pretty inexperienced in general and he's never been in a proper relationship, so I think it's pretty easy to imagine him being taken in by Ben's charms. I've seen guys his age, with an equal amount of inexperience, 'fall in love' on much less.

 

Overall, the transition Ben made from BMAD to "Ben" (an actual person) was well done. The initial attraction was well written. The makeover that Aaron gets to get his attention was funny. The scene outside the club was good-- especially the "having a Joan Collins moment" line. The scene in the park was beautiful...and gave the beginnings of something possibly "real" between Ben and Aaron.

Thanks, and I did hope to portray that there could be the beginnings of something real and serious for Ben and Aaron. That's the delightful thing about falling in love when you're a bit naive and full of hope, sometimes on rare occasions it actually does work out. Other times it at least proves somewhat successful and you can leave the relationship a little bit wiser and more experienced and with some happy memories. Other times it turns into a total disaster.

 

One of the three things, or a variation thereof, will happen here

 

 

But again, there wasn't the emotional scene between Aaron and Ben that would make me believe Aaron really was 'in love' with Ben...or anything close to something real is between them. There wasn't a sex scene to fully put them in the honeymoon stages of a real relationship. They have said they are 'boyfriends,' and the scene in the park was good, but it still feels very much like they are strangers.

 

Because we know very little about Ben, it feels like Aaron knows very little about him. So, I may agree that Aaron plausibly believes himself in love with Ben... but unless stuff happened "off camera" to make it more...it didn't work for me.

 

FYI, unlike others I did like the scene with Ben at the coffeehouse. It revealed or at least hinted that there IS more to Ben and his coterie than just pretty club goers. It was emotionally engaging for me as a reader and helped give Ben some indication of being a person that I would possibly want the protagonist to 'love' and being real enough to love.

 

It seems to me, and I'm trying to be 'impartial' even though I'm the author but it seems to me, that Aaron falling in love with Ben - or at least convincing himself that he has - isn't all that surprising. Aaron is shy and inexperienced around guys and suddenly this great looking guy that everyone wants is paying attention to him.

 

What I personally would be more curious about is why Ben would 'fall in love' with Aaron? I hope there have been enough hints at his motivation to make it believable.

 

Anyway, I am wondering if my reactions are what you deliberately wanted the readers to feel?

They definitely among the range of reactions I wanted the reader to feel!

 

 

Why is Mick so torn up? Who is Ben? What is the story behind his friends? Who will Aaron end up with? Will it be a happy ending (God I hope so) or a tragic one?

Well, I can honestly promise that it is my intention to answer all of those questions in Worth A Shot

 

 

 

 

 

Thanks so much Rafael! I'm really flattered and pleased that you liked the story and took the time to register and post such a wonderful and thoughtful comment!

 

-Kevin

[Rafael]

*grins*

 

Thanks for the comments back. Again, sorry if I was kind of spammy and repetitive, but once I got going...

 

I should amend a couple of things, though, in light of what you said.

 

First, I wasn't really as 'let down' as I let on...but more shocked that Ch. 10 was the end. It was cleared up by the knowledge it is a prologue. Part of me groaned knowing it would be many weeks before I know what really happens-- I was the kid who always read the last page of a book first (and still am). Of course, another part of me groaned, in a good way, knowing lots of good chapters will hopefully come.

 

Second, Aaron's believing he was in love with Ben seemed plausible. You're entirely correct. I remember being Aaron's age and falling completely in love, in an instant... and being swept away, and with a guy who was bad news. Even knowing the guy was bad news, and I even had a sure, steady, good alternative...but the bad news guy I couldn't resist any more than an alcoholic can resist a dancing bottle of Jack Daniels.

 

So, it may be that...not only is Aaron a generally relatable guy, but the basic premise is one I really can relate to. Perhaps many can. As you said, those crazy relationships are the ones you 'live and learn' from. Rarely do they work out, and so....well... I am rooting for him and good guy Mick to get together in the end.

 

To quote a groovy song from Baz Lurhmann, "Advice is a form of nostalgia, dispensing it is a way of fishing the past from the disposal, wiping it off, painting over the ugly parts and recycling it for more than it's worth."

 

 

Finally, you mentioned being surprised about people not wondering why Ben would fall in love with Aaron...

 

That didn't register with me to question for a reasons:

 

Ben wasn't all that fleshed out, so I didn't have enough sense of him to get that much into his head. More than that, though... Ben starts off as the quintessential player. Having been a player myself, the one who isn't played by you...is going to grab your attention. Something new, different. Nothing is sexier than someone who calls you on your nonsense, yanno?

 

Ben, as a player and a vain one, may also be more generally inclined to go for someone not as 'player' as he is-- not apt to steal his limelight. Aaron is a good foil in that regard.

 

With the few details you put in the story here and there...Ben in the coffeeshop talking about Giorgio, and Ben's comic but genuine hurt or surprise at his nickname of Bmad, and the interplay in the park and the sushi dinner... I could see where Ben had / has the makings of a "real guy," and he and Aaron do match up.

 

And of course, Aaron is a likable guy, so who wouldn't find him funny / sexy?

 

 

P.s. You are kind of evil since "Worth a Shot" gives no indication which way you will take it...

Edited August 3, 2008 by Rafael