AFriendlyFace Posted June 7, 2008 Author Share Posted June 7, 2008 Good observations you guys! LOL, and Tim I don't think Aaron and the crew are ready for any major cliffys just yet. On the other hand I like Steph's idea of a fashion cliffhanger. Ronnie: "Which do you want, Aaron, the platinum blond highlights or the dark blond highlights?" Aaron doing Cavemanese: "uhh, oghh, umm" By the way, before I forgot the name of chapter four is: The Eyes Have It Link to comment
Tiff Posted June 7, 2008 Share Posted June 7, 2008 Good observations you guys! LOL, and Tim I don't think Aaron and the crew are ready for any major cliffys just yet. On the other hand I like Steph's idea of a fashion cliffhanger. Ronnie: "Which do you want, Aaron, the platinum blond highlights or the dark blond highlights?" Aaron doing Cavemanese: "uhh, oghh, umm" By the way, before I forgot the name of chapter four is: The Eyes Have It I like your idea of a cliffhanger, poor Aaron getting all flustered as usual. I like the name of the next chapter. I bet it has something to do with eyes and a lot of makeup? Like eyeliner, eyeshadow, and mascara! Btw, I'm curious; how many chapters are there in total? Link to comment
C James Posted June 8, 2008 Share Posted June 8, 2008 Well, all in all it's pretty accurate. In fact to be honest quite a bit of it is based on my own experiences, the experiences of people I know, the things I've heard about it, or simply the things I can readily imagine happening. Of course there's creative license, but I am trying my best to conceptualize realistic gay characters based on people and personalities that I know, and put them into an environment that is for the most part accurate, and then sort of 'tell the story' of what might happen with these types in these environments. I'll also say that really 'club culture' depends very much on your own experience of it. Just like gay culture in general or any other gathering of people. You can have a very tame, conservative experience of gay culture OR you can have a very wild experience. It largely depends on where you go, who you're with, and what you do. Here's a good example, a friend of mine is very religious, very conservative about sexual matters and wouldn't dream of messing around outside of the confines of a serious relationship, only drinks in moderation, never touches drugs, doesn't smoke, doesn't dress in such a way that 'puts him on display', and doesn't dance in a hyper-sexual dirty manner. On the other hand I know people who go to clubs for whom all those above statements would be the exact opposite. There's also pretty much all kinds of other people there that fall anywhere in between that very VERY wide range (myself included ), and there's probably even people there who are more 'modest' in their behaviour as well as people who are 'wilder'. So you get a huge range and you get all types of people all under the same roof. There's really nothing to be 'worried' or 'scared' of as long as you 'know who you are', and what you do and don't want to do. The key is to be secure in your identity and not fall into things that aren't right for you. LOL, anyway that's a long answer to a short question, but yeah I think the story is a pretty accurate representation of one aspect of club culture. Thanks Kevin! That's fascinating to me. All in all, it sounds very much like straight clubs and bars, especially with the mix of people and their personalities. But, that makes perfect sense; people are people. You know, I tried to make that scene as unique and original as possible, and I definitely don't think they're similar at all, but I actually had in mind Brandon (from LTMP)'s thoughts and experiences on his own early shopping trips. So what did you guys think of Aaron's reactions? Did they feel real and natural? As I said, I actually re-wrote Aaron a little bit and adjusted my focus for him as a character. In the original draft he was the sort of person who would have enjoyed going, and I actually had the chapter two scene with Jake insisting that he go playing out something like this: Wow, thanks. Writing about shopping was hard for me; I'm not exactly fond of shopping. LoL BTW, Kevin helped on LTMP by giving me some fashion advice. Aaron's reactions felt VERY natural to me, and in my case they fit my own rather well, though he's far more tolerant of shopping than I am. I think you made the right choice; his discomfort was just the perfect touch. I'll also note that writing people who are different from yourself takes skill, and Kevin is not exactly adverse to shopping. Well done! And Kevin, if you do have a cliffhanger at some point, you can count on me to point it out. CJ Link to comment
Tiger Posted June 8, 2008 Share Posted June 8, 2008 Aaron's reactions felt VERY natural to me, and in my case they fit my own rather well, though he's far more tolerant of shopping than I am. I think you made the right choice; his discomfort was just the perfect touch. I'll also note that writing people who are different from yourself takes skill, and Kevin is not exactly adverse to shopping. Well done! And Kevin, if you do have a cliffhanger at some point, you can count on me to point it out. CJ That's interesting to know, CJ. I thought Kev might be one to ask for fashion tips. As for the cliffhangers, I know about how you like to point them out to minimize your own. You definitely like to pick on Steve and me in that regard. Link to comment
AFriendlyFace Posted June 9, 2008 Author Share Posted June 9, 2008 Btw, I'm curious; how many chapters are there in total? Hmm, well to be honest I kinda want it to be a surprise. Well maybe "surprise" isn't the best word, but I don't want the readers to start anticipating the end. I'll tell ya privately tho Aaron's reactions felt VERY natural to me, and in my case they fit my own rather well, though he's far more tolerant of shopping than I am. I think you made the right choice; his discomfort was just the perfect touch. I'll also note that writing people who are different from yourself takes skill, and Kevin is not exactly adverse to shopping. Well done! Aww thanks CJ! And Kevin, if you do have a cliffhanger at some point, you can count on me to point it out. What me with a cliffhanger? Nevah Link to comment
AFriendlyFace Posted June 10, 2008 Author Share Posted June 10, 2008 Just wanted to let you guys know that the new chapter: The Eyes Have It is now available in eFiction! Please check it out and let me know what you think! Link to comment
Site Administrator wildone Posted June 10, 2008 Site Administrator Share Posted June 10, 2008 Kev, Great chapter and thanks . It seems like the flow of the story is really moving now. As I'm getting more comfortable with the characters it is really falling together. I was kind of surprised about both Daisy and Georgio's reaction to Aaron. It seems that they may be looking out for Ben in a different way than Cosmo is. Also, I'm really beginning to like the relationship between Mick and Aaron. It is interesting that he is a well off student that likes the money from dancing, even though he doesn't need it. One thing that popped into my mind while reading about that, is my one experience of actually talking with a dancer, so I know it doesn't involve all dancers. That is the drug issue. Don't a lot of dancers use drugs to take off the edge of getting up on stage basically naked? The reason I bring it up, is I hope that Mick isn't a user. Thanks again for the chapter. Steve Link to comment
Bandage Posted June 10, 2008 Share Posted June 10, 2008 Wheeeee Another great chapter, Kev Kev! I love Cosmo, he's just sooo great I liked the ending scene as well, as Giorgio's reaction is totally unexpected (for me ) and he becomes like really possessive! I wonder where you're going to go with that? Are they afraid that Aaron will take Ben away from them? Or are they secretly in love with Ben? AAAAh the possibilities!! You gotta post your new chapter soon!! *Nods profusely* Link to comment
steph Posted June 11, 2008 Share Posted June 11, 2008 (edited) “Dude, what happened to you?” How'd I know that line was coming... Excellent job with the thoughts in this chapter. And I liked how Giorgio and Daisy were looking out for Ben. Well, I think Cosmo was looking out for Ben, too, just in a different way. Hey, Kevin, do you think you could get the grocery elves to come pay me a visit? Edited June 11, 2008 by steph291 Link to comment
AFriendlyFace Posted June 11, 2008 Author Share Posted June 11, 2008 Thanks you guys! It seems like the flow of the story is really moving now. As I'm getting more comfortable with the characters it is really falling together. Awesome! I think I tend to write character (versus plot) based stories so I'm really happy if the characters seem fully formed and fleshed out to you! Indeed one of the challenges I've striven to attain is keeping the cast of characters relatively small and/or not going into as much detail about some of the others. My original story, Indefensible, was even more character driven than this one and it had a huge cast, each of whom I had a lot of ideas for and wanted to fully characterize. Of course in many ways the whole premise of the story was that there were all these people with complicated, seemingly unconnected lives that fit together in the end to tell the whole narrative. Also, I'm really beginning to like the relationship between Mick and Aaron. It is interesting that he is a well off student that likes the money from dancing, even though he doesn't need it. One thing that popped into my mind while reading about that, is my one experience of actually talking with a dancer, so I know it doesn't involve all dancers. That is the drug issue. Don't a lot of dancers use drugs to take off the edge of getting up on stage basically naked? The reason I bring it up, is I hope that Mick isn't a user. Well, I don't want to directly comment on this for spoiler reasons, but I will say (as the story description in eFiction says) that part of the story deals with drugs and addiction. So it will somehow affect someone to some degree. I was kind of surprised about both Daisy and Georgio's reaction to Aaron. It seems that they may be looking out for Ben in a different way than Cosmo is. I love Cosmo, he's just sooo great I liked the ending scene as well, as Giorgio's reaction is totally unexpected (for me ) and he becomes like really possessive! I wonder where you're going to go with that? Are they afraid that Aaron will take Ben away from them? Or are they secretly in love with Ben? AAAAh the possibilities!! And I liked how Giorgio and Daisy were looking out for Ben. Well, I think Cosmo was looking out for Ben, too, just in a different way. LOL, I'm kinda surprised you guys were kinda surprised. I mean I didn't intend for it to be unexpected. Actually I can sort of see how Giorgio's reaction might have been since really the only clue was Cosmo telling Aaron earlier that Giorgio was mad at him (and then later pulling him away before he got a chance to 'talk' to Aaron). However, I'm not surprised readers would assume it wasn't that big a deal or that he'd cooled down. With Daisy though I meant to paint that picture all along. With that said, since it wasn't expected, did you guys feel that it felt natural and suitably understandable? Wheeeee Another great chapter, Kev Kev! You gotta post your new chapter soon!! *Nods profusely* Aww thanks Niels! I was hoping to post the chapter a day early like I had been doing, but unfortunately this week has been (and will continue to be) extremely busy for me so I didn't get the chance Hopefully this week I can get the chapter up a bit early though Link to comment
steph Posted June 11, 2008 Share Posted June 11, 2008 With that said, since it wasn't expected, did you guys feel that it felt natural and suitably understandable? I think it was definitely natural, even though misguided. I mean, wouldn't they think it was better that Aaron wasn't treating him like a one-night stand? Anyone care to predict any dialogue this week?I'll give you all a hint, Aaron says something to someone. Nah, Aaron will get laryngitis and won't be able to say anything to anyone but us readers. Link to comment
C James Posted June 14, 2008 Share Posted June 14, 2008 Great chapter!! I'm normally very leery of the present-tense style, but for this story, IMHO, it really works well. The "grocery elves" scene was hilarious!!! I loved it!!! To be honest, Mick is the most intriguing character to me at the moment. His behavior towards Aaron makes me wonder about him a little... He's an exhibitionist, but totally scared of sex? Maybe he's not straight? Hmmm... Aaron seems to have Bmad on his mind. This could get complicated, lol!! Oh, BTW, I am hereby declaring a CLIFFHANGER! due to the final scene, and whether or not Bmad will call. Link to comment
AFriendlyFace Posted June 14, 2008 Author Share Posted June 14, 2008 (edited) I'm normally very leery of the present-tense style, but for this story, IMHO, it really works well. Thanks! Honestly, so am I (leery that is). Indeed I frequently catch myself lapsing into the more common past-tense (so if anyone sees any such errors please do point them out!) I have a couple of particular reasons for writing the story in first person present: -First, it all goes back to the 'reader' being essentially an occupant in Aaron's head, listening to his thoughts and seeing the events unfold through his eyes. It's not supposed to be a story he's recounting but (hopefully) a story the reader is living. -Second, I wanted to add the feeling that anything could happen. I mean theoretically a piano (ala Corvus' Hotel California) could fall on Aaron's head and kill him dead ending the story: I hear a cable snap and a jingling of piano keys. Then I notice Mick opening his mouth to scream. Before I can ponder how these two events are related I f... OK, so that would be a pretty crummy ending of the story I know, and I'll even promise that the story doesn't end that way, but I do want to leave open the possibility that anything could happen. To be honest, Mick is the most intriguing character to me at the moment. His behavior towards Aaron makes me wonder about him a little... He's an exhibitionist, but totally scared of sex? Maybe he's not straight? All I'll say is that Mick will continue to be a key player in BMAD as well as the sequel. Oh, BTW, I am hereby declaring a CLIFFHANGER! due to the final scene, and whether or not Bmad will call. Me? A cliffhanger? No WAY! LOL, thanks CJ and all -Kevin Edited June 14, 2008 by AFriendlyFace Link to comment
steph Posted June 14, 2008 Share Posted June 14, 2008 (edited) -Second, I wanted to add the feeling that anything could happen. I mean theoretically a piano (ala Corvus' Hotel California) could fall on Aaron's head and kill him dead ending the story: Kevin, did you just post a spoiler??!?! Edited June 15, 2008 by steph291 Link to comment
AFriendlyFace Posted June 14, 2008 Author Share Posted June 14, 2008 (edited) Kevin, did you just post a spoiler??!?! Nope! All I said was that Aaron doesn't die by falling piano! I didn't mean to imply or preclude any other type of death or indeed any other type of fate! Aaron's perfectly safe Edited June 14, 2008 by AFriendlyFace Link to comment
steph Posted June 14, 2008 Share Posted June 14, 2008 (edited) Nope! All I said was that Aaron doesn't die by falling piano! I didn't mean to imply or preclude any other type of death or indeed any other type of fate! Aaron's perfectly safe I meant a spoiler for corvus' story... Edited June 15, 2008 by steph291 Link to comment
AFriendlyFace Posted June 14, 2008 Author Share Posted June 14, 2008 I meant a spoiler for corvus' story... Oh my gosh!! That I did do!! **rushes back to edit it out of his post** Link to comment
steph Posted June 15, 2008 Share Posted June 15, 2008 Oh my gosh!! That I did do!! **rushes back to edit it out of his post** arg! I had to edit my posts, too! Link to comment
AFriendlyFace Posted June 16, 2008 Author Share Posted June 16, 2008 arg! I had to edit my posts, too! Fuss at me for leaving out spoilers then you do it! Just wanted to drop by the thread and let everyone know the title for the next chapter. It will be: The Name Game I'll give one small spoiler, this is really the first time in the story we really get a considerable amount of Aaron/Ben dialogue, and I must say this chapter was a lot of fun to write! I'll also promise a couple of good Mick and Jake scenes Hope you guys like it when it posts, incidentally, the chapter is due to be posted in two days, but if anyone can accurately guess what the chapter name references I'll post the next chapter early! Link to comment
steph Posted June 16, 2008 Share Posted June 16, 2008 The Name Game Hope you guys like it when it posts, incidentally, the chapter is due to be posted in two days, but if anyone can accurately guess what the chapter name references I'll post the next chapter early! They know someone in common... OR Aaron explains about their nicknames... Link to comment
C James Posted June 16, 2008 Share Posted June 16, 2008 I think Steph's guesses are good, but I'll go with... we find out what the other guys have dubbed Aaron. Link to comment
steph Posted June 16, 2008 Share Posted June 16, 2008 I think Steph's guesses are good, but I'll go with... we find out what the other guys have dubbed Aaron. Link to comment
AFriendlyFace Posted June 16, 2008 Author Share Posted June 16, 2008 They know someone in common... OR Aaron explains about their nicknames... I think Steph's guesses are good, but I'll go with... we find out what the other guys have dubbed Aaron. Wow! You guys are good guessers! One of those three is it. So here's a link to the chapter so you find out which, lol And That's the second week in a row Steph has guessed something about the plot of the next chapter! I swear she must be sneaking a peek at my BMAD folder when I'm not looking! I hope ya'll enjoy it! Let me know what you think -Kevin Link to comment
Bandage Posted June 16, 2008 Share Posted June 16, 2008 Congratz on your new chapter, Kev Kev! It's smashing as ever I think I was grinning throughout the whole conversation between Ben and Aaron Oh and especially when he called him! Sooo funny! You are however starting to pick up CJames' bad habbits!!! I mean, come on! We kinda know he's gonna say it, because you wrote that he didn't come up with anything yet... BUT I WANNA KNOW HOW BEN REACTS!!! Anyhow, Keep posting those chapters! Cheers Niels Link to comment
steph Posted June 16, 2008 Share Posted June 16, 2008 That's the second week in a row Steph has guessed something about the plot of the next chapter! I swear she must be sneaking a peek at my BMAD folder when I'm not looking! who, me? You are however starting to pick up CJames' bad habbits!!! I mean, come on! We kinda know he's gonna say it, because you wrote that he didn't come up with anything yet... BUT I WANNA KNOW HOW BEN REACTS!!! grrrr... bad, Kevin! There's too many funny things in this chapter to even pick out what to highlight. It was a pick-me-up that I sorely needed! Thanks, Kev! Link to comment
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