[AFriendlyFace] Buy Me A Drink

[AFriendlyFace]

I loved all the internal thoughts in this one. Aaron was on a roll that had me laughing out loud. And no, it's not a crime to like plain coffee. As I told Kevin the first time I read this, people that order those half decaf, skinny mocha frappuccino grande whatevers drive me nuts. :wacko:

Thanks Sharon!

 

Are potatoes good as well? I think my father has some in his garden

 

 

I loved that 'Evasive Answers for 500, Alex' As well! Seriously, all off those thoughts had me cracking up That's what I like about this story!

I like plain coffee as well Meh, we don't even have a Starbucks around here...

Thanks Zilar...but potatoes? YIKES!

 

I'm remembering a quote my sister once told me, when I was starting to go out and date people. "SOme guys you need to hit with a brick to get their attention. Some guys you need to hit with a big brick." I've been wondering when Aaron would start trying to add 2 and 2 to get 57 in regards to Mick.

 

As an aside, I somewhat love the silliness of google ads. The ones at the top of the page atm are advertising Starbuck's Doubleshot. My drink of choice is a gigantic red eye with four shots.

 

BTW: Who else feels the Starbucks franchise would be improved with the inclusion of Male strippers in all their stores?

LOL, Gabe! I agree with you about the ads! I've seen some pretty crazy ones before trying to target the audience that reads a story. In many ways it could be a game just trying to figure out what a chapter will be about based on the ads Google shows

 

Guess this "'evasive answers for 500, Alex" line doesn't mean much to a non-American, and I was wondering at the time of reading but since the line had been brought up here, I feel it's now okay to ask, who's Alex?

Here you go!.

Thanks Sharon

 

huh, good point, Dravenn! I guess that's a risk the author takes when using parodying popular culture --is that the term?

 

ack! so, now I'm thinking of a whole bunch of other common lines from other game shows! like "survey says" from Family Feud and "is that your final answer" from Who Wants to be a Millionnarie and "come on down!" from The Price is Right or "I'd like to buy a vowel" from Wheel of Fortune. ack! no more!

LOL, well you guys just got me thinking and I realized if I wanted to be sneaky I could change the chapter title of one of the upcoming chapters!

 

The things about popular culture is it's very much 'of it's time'. Once this Alex bloke has retired and the show is no longer around, the references become redundant, but I suppose that's the risk with contemporary stories, especially when the tone is as conversational as this one.

Yeah, but that's okay. I mean, plenty of classics have references that were reflective of the contemporary culture of the era in which they were written. Even if people reading them later don't necessarily understand them, they can learn them by reading the story, and get a window into what it must have been like to live in a given place or time.

Good points! I guess that does 'date the story' a bit. While it would certainly be nice if people were still reading it in a couple of decades when Alex and Jeopardy are more or less forgotten I wasn't really counting on or expecting that. Should that happen (lol, yeah right!) I hope hotchik is right and it just adds a bit of flavour from the period.

 

 

 

 

 

On another note, I thought it would be fun to debate Mick's feelings for Aaron since Tiff and Gabe (and others) seem to hold opposite views. So, to that end, I went back and edited the first post of the thread to turn this thread into a poll. Vote now and let everyone know what you think!

 

 

-Kevin

[Caipirinha]

So...I'm sort of addicted.

 

Just thought you should know.

[Dravenn]

Good points! I guess that does 'date the story' a bit. While it would certainly be nice if people were still reading it in a couple of decades when Alex and Jeopardy are more or less forgotten I wasn't really counting on or expecting that. Should that happen (lol, yeah right!) I hope hotchik is right and it just adds a bit of flavour from the period.

 

-Kevin

 

 

I was kind of hoping you might want to make a novel out of this. It's certainly worthy of a place on my book shelf, so you can put my name down for a copy right away

 

And you're right about the cultural references, it would be extremely difficult to write this kind of story without them, and they obviously work, judging by the comments you receive, even if some of them are obscure to us non-Americans

 

Oh, and as for your poll, I think it's not so much what Mick might feel for Aaron, more what Aaron might feel for Mick, even if it is on a sub-conscious level. That's my theory anyway.

[Cynical Romantic]

Oh, and as for your poll, I think it's not so much what Mick might feel for Aaron, more what Aaron might feel for Mick, even if it is on a sub-conscious level. That's my theory anyway.

 

That's funny, I actually think it's the opposite. Mick is one of the most intriguing characters so far. He's a supposedly straight guy who dances in a gay bar so he can pay all the expenses for his gay roommate and spend more time with him. Ummmm.... right. I guess getting the story from Aaron's point of view makes it seem not so obvious to us, because it's clearly being missed by Aaron - but there's just no way that Mick's interest in Aaron is simply friendship. Even best friends don't go that far. My theory is that Mick is head-over-heels for Aaron, but is just waiting for Aaron to get a clue.

 

As for Ben, well, he's a bit enigmatic too, isn't he? Here's a guy who's MO is basically to take home a different trick every night, and he's trying to initiate some kind of relationship with a guy who called him out on his behaviour. Usually you'd associate that kind of behaviour with an avoidance tactic, but Ben doesn't seem to be avoiding it at all; he's facing it head-on. It's obvious he's looking for more than a one-night stand with Aaron at this point, and his insecurity is showing bigtime by his - astute - questions about Mick. Only once again, Aaron doesn't notice.

 

For a guy who's supposed to be the big sociology major / keen observer, Aaron is coming across as a bit thick. Hehe. Poor guy.

[AFriendlyFace]

So...I'm sort of addicted.

 

Just thought you should know.

Woo HOO!! I'm spreading addiction

 

I was kind of hoping you might want to make a novel out of this. It's certainly worthy of a place on my book shelf, so you can put my name down for a copy right away

Wow thanks, Dravenn! I feel honoured and excited that you said that

 

In all honesty I was considering eventually trying to do that with Indefensible IF I can write it up to the standards I have for it (but that's iffy ). I hadn't considered it with BMAD though due to the unconventional style in which it's written.

 

 

And you're right about the cultural references, it would be extremely difficult to write this kind of story without them, and they obviously work, judging by the comments you receive, even if some of them are obscure to us non-Americans

Thanks, and I really appreciate you asking too. I'm embarrassed to admit that it hadn't occurred to me to clarify that reference. So it's good that you mentioned it and Sharon explained it; that way if anyone else reads the thread they'll know now too!

 

Oh, and as for your poll, I think it's not so much what Mick might feel for Aaron, more what Aaron might feel for Mick, even if it is on a sub-conscious level. That's my theory anyway.

Hmmm, That's a very astute observation and based on that I really think you'll like the next few chapters.

 

That's funny, I actually think it's the opposite. Mick is one of the most intriguing characters so far. He's a supposedly straight guy who dances in a gay bar so he can pay all the expenses for his gay roommate and spend more time with him. Ummmm.... right. I guess getting the story from Aaron's point of view makes it seem not so obvious to us, because it's clearly being missed by Aaron - but there's just no way that Mick's interest in Aaron is simply friendship. Even best friends don't go that far. My theory is that Mick is head-over-heels for Aaron, but is just waiting for Aaron to get a clue.

Another top-notch and astute observation! LOL, you'll have something to look forward in the next few chapters as well

 

As for Ben, well, he's a bit enigmatic too, isn't he? Here's a guy who's MO is basically to take home a different trick every night, and he's trying to initiate some kind of relationship with a guy who called him out on his behaviour. Usually you'd associate that kind of behaviour with an avoidance tactic, but Ben doesn't seem to be avoiding it at all; he's facing it head-on. It's obvious he's looking for more than a one-night stand with Aaron at this point, and his insecurity is showing bigtime by his - astute - questions about Mick. Only once again, Aaron doesn't notice.

 

For a guy who's supposed to be the big sociology major / keen observer, Aaron is coming across as a bit thick. Hehe. Poor guy.

I think you're absolutely right about Aaron failing to notice things right in front of him. As I see it, Aaron's the sort of person who'll notice the splinter in someone else's eye but fail to see the log in his own.

 

Of course I'm not specifically talking about either the situation with Mick or Ben. Just in general that's kind of how he rolls.

 

 

On a very happy note, I've finally finished reloading the first seven chapters to eFiction!

 

I think while I'm at it I might add my anthology entry, If No One Notices as well. (err, that's the name of it; I'll add it even if people do notice, in fact I kinda hope they do )

 

 

Finally, I thought it'd be nice to get back in the habit of releasing the chapter name again. This week's chapter title, which is both Sharon and Tim's favourite, will be:

 

"Turning Japanese"

[wildone]

Finally, I thought it'd be nice to get back in the habit of releasing the chapter name again. This week's chapter title, which is both Sharon and Tim's favourite, will be:

 

"Turning Japanese"

 

 

Kev, great chapter and thanks .

 

Sorry haven't posted yet, but loved the internal voice of Aaron more and more after this chapter. Usually people will try to describe what they are feeling, but you putting it in Aaron's voice really adds to the point.

 

As for "Turning Japanese" If it means what I remember hearing way back when what that phrase meant .

 

 

And if your curious about what I'm talking about, you can read about it here

 

 

Tsk, tsk, tsk Kevin

 

I can hardly wait now. Hopefully I'll be able to connect to the Internet.

 

Steve

[AFriendlyFace]

Kev, great chapter and thanks .

 

Sorry haven't posted yet, but loved the internal voice of Aaron more and more after this chapter. Usually people will try to describe what they are feeling, but you putting it in Aaron's voice really adds to the point.

Thanks Steve!

 

As for "Turning Japanese" If it means what I remember hearing way back when what that phrase meant .

 

 

And if your curious about what I'm talking about, you can read about it here

 

 

Tsk, tsk, tsk Kevin

 

I can hardly wait now. Hopefully I'll be able to connect to the Internet.

I certainly hope so!

[AFriendlyFace]

Hi all,

 

LOL, so I did something a bit stupid. I inadvertently released bits of BMAD in the wrong order! I was actually supposed to release Reflections Over Coffee': Part 1 last week in place of chapter 7. Unfortunately, probably due in part to the situation with eFiction, I forgot and released chapter 7.

 

It shouldn't matter too much, just please go back and read Reflections and pretend you haven't read chapter 7 yet

 

Since I goofed up and I've been promising you guys chapter 8, I'll release it in 3 days instead of the usual 7. That works anyway because Reflections is probably the most boring part of BMAD, so if you get through it you deserve a reward anyway

 

Let me know what you think!

 

-Kevin

[outoftheashes]

So I got through it (and liked it ) so where is my reward?

[AFriendlyFace]

So I got through it (and liked it ) so where is my reward?

LOL, how about a copy of chapter 8 before I post it?

 

Honestly, the reason I came to this thread was to say that there would be a day or two delay for the posting of Chapter 8. Mainly because of the rather abysmal lack of response I got from Coffee. I'm not trying to blackmail people into commenting if they don't want to, but I honestly do feel less motivated as a result. E-Fiction is a headache and I've already dealt with it enough this week (re-uploading all those chapters). So I'm going to hold off on posting chapter 8 for a couple more days.

 

I'll PM Ashes and Dion (who left a review in eFiction) chapter 8 since they did comment so it isn't fair to use the same excuse on them. As I said I'm not trying blackmail or punish my readers at all, and indeed quite a few of you are great about commenting (and it's much appreciated ) and simply didn't this time - which I understand, people are busy and it really wasn't that great a chapter anyway. Anyway, uploading the chapter as an attachment in the PM is much easier and quicker than going through the eFiction process, so that's my excuse and reasoning. In the meantime anyone can feel free to comment here or PM me and I'll send them chapter 8. Either way it'll be up late tomorrow or Saturday, Sunday at the latest.

 

Again, not punishment or whining, just me being lazy and unmotivated

 

-Kevin

Edited July 11, 2008 by AFriendlyFace

[steph]

Again, not punishment or whining, just me being lazy and unmotivated

You are so punishing us! I'm sorry, I haven't been able to get through Coffee at all. I keep trying and failing. I miss the witty dialogue. I'm horrible with introspection... just ask Krista.

[AFriendlyFace]

You are so punishing us! I'm sorry, I haven't been able to get through Coffee at all. I keep trying and failing. I miss the witty dialogue. I'm horrible with introspection... just ask Krista.

So you do think it's boring? LOL, actually I find that helpful since it let's me know what people like (and don't like).

 

Honestly I didn't particularly enjoy writing it (I guess it shows). I just felt like it was necessary to write. Anyway, I really am just being lazy

 

I'll send you chapter 8 though.

 

-Kevin

[C James]

I liked the interlude with coffee. Granted, it lacked the snappy dialog, but IMHO it was needed; it gave us more background, and thanks to my tardiness I read it in the right seqence. I also feel that it was an innovative way of giving info, which i appreciated.

 

Loved the park scene, especially the comments about parks not being a good place to storm out of.

 

Hrmmm.. One of the other things that caught my eye as a great idea: I loved the usage of the term "Baristas" for bartenders.

 

Okay, on to Kevin's question about Mick.

 

I've wondered about him from the start. He's not homophobic, obviously, but could he be in some kind of denial? His actions towards Aaron do seem incongruous for a pure friend. To be honest, at this point I hope he and Aaron end up together.

 

CJ

[Dravenn]

Okay, I read Reflections Over Coffee, and while I could just give you compliments on the quality of the writing etc, which isn't in doubt, I also think you'd prefer if I was completely honest here, and basically I agree with Steph in that I found this hard to get through.

 

The problem is that this 'interlude' isn't necessary to the story. It's a bit of an info dump, the majority of it stuff we already know. There are a few new things in there, How Aaron met Mick etc, but in this case where it appears in the story all it does in my opinion is slow the narrative, which up to now has been rolling along at a cracking pace. I think because you posted this after chapter 7, instead of before as you intended, and no one noticed there was anything missing, kind of proves that you don't need it. I did find myself skimming this section, which I never did with the other chapters.

 

 

 

 

Just my 2 pence worth, I hope you're not offended because that wasn't my intention.

[AFriendlyFace]

I liked the interlude with coffee. Granted, it lacked the snappy dialog, but IMHO it was needed; it gave us more background, and thanks to my tardiness I read it in the right seqence. I also feel that it was an innovative way of giving info, which i appreciated.

Awesome, thanks, CJ! LOL, I was kinda hoping at least a few people would get to read it in the right sequence.

 

Loved the park scene, especially the comments about parks not being a good place to storm out of.

 

It's true...It's like boats...just try storming out of a boat!

 

(okay, maybe boats are a bit worse actually)

 

Hrmmm.. One of the other things that caught my eye as a great idea: I loved the usage of the term "Baristas" for bartenders.

Thanks

 

I wish I could take credit for being creative, but honestly I've really only ever heard the service person at a coffee shop referred to as baristas (well maybe 'cashier', or 'guy behind the counter' )

 

 

Okay, on to Kevin's question about Mick.

 

I've wondered about him from the start. He's not homophobic, obviously, but could he be in some kind of denial? His actions towards Aaron do seem incongruous for a pure friend. To be honest, at this point I hope he and Aaron end up together.

LOL, well perhaps chapter 8 will throw some more light on the situation!

 

Okay, I read Reflections Over Coffee, and while I could just give you compliments on the quality of the writing etc, which isn't in doubt, I also think you'd prefer if I was completely honest here, and basically I agree with Steph in that I found this hard to get through.

 

The problem is that this 'interlude' isn't necessary to the story. It's a bit of an info dump, the majority of it stuff we already know. There are a few new things in there, How Aaron met Mick etc, but in this case where it appears in the story all it does in my opinion is slow the narrative, which up to now has been rolling along at a cracking pace. I think because you posted this after chapter 7, instead of before as you intended, and no one noticed there was anything missing, kind of proves that you don't need it. I did find myself skimming this section, which I never did with the other chapters.

Thanks Dravenn!

 

I really do appreciate that feedback. Also, I pretty much intended it to be a non-essential, information dump. I guess this makes me hypocritical for complaining about the limited feedback I got on it, but in all honesty I meant to include a note along with that went something like, "feel free not to read this if you don't want to". It definitely shouldn't impact the story at all.

 

Unfortunately, as you may have inferred from the title "....Part 1" there IS a part 2. It comes as sort of a prologue before the sequel. If I can get several more chapters written before it's time to start posting the sequel then my intention is to release Coffee 2 and chapter 1 together. Honestly, that isn't looking good right now though. I really need to decide what I'm going to do about release dates for the sequel. There will probably be at least some delay in posting unless I can get at least another 3 or 4 more chapters written in the next few weeks. On the bright side I do have a short story planned for release after BMAD ends and before the sequel begins. It's completely separate from either story and has no common characters, but I think the general tone and feel fit pretty well.

 

 

Anyway thanks for the comments ya'll

 

-Kevin

[Cynical Romantic]

Okay, honesty time? I agree with Dravenn.

 

Maybe it was more obvious because you posted the chapters out of sequence... but when an entire section of a story can be removed and nobody misses it, then it probably should be edited out.

 

One of the rules of editing is that sometimes you don't need to explain everything. Sometimes you can left things unseen, unsaid. Sometimes you can skip over things entirely. The questions you should be asking yourself are: Does this move the story forward? Does it maintain or build the dramatic tension? Does it transmit vital information that cannot be obtained, deduced or surmised in other ways? If you can't answer all of those questions with a "yes", it's probably fodder for the editing room floor.

 

I read "Coffee" twice, mostly because my reaction to it the first time was kinda negative, and I wanted to be sure I wasn't missing the point or reading things wrong. I don't like giving negative feedback on a story, generally having been raised with the motto "if you don't have anything nice to say, keep your mouth shut". And there were a few good lines and interesting Aaron-isms in the section. The second time around, I could see how you dropped a few more hints about Mick, and how you gave us a bit more insight into how the wheels in Aaron's brain turn.

 

But I still think, despite that, this whole chapter really isn't needed. After all, the previous chapters drop plenty of hints about Mick - we don't know what's coming, but most of us know there's a story there somewhere (if the discussions in this thread are of any indication). Plus, your conversational writing style and your habits of having Aaron's inner thoughts show up in the middle of paragraphs already give us plenty of insight into Aaron's mind. I don't think we gain much from this that we didn't see elsewhere.

 

I hope you don't mind the constructive criticism, but I still think the story works better without "Reflections over Coffee". If I were you, I'd cut it out altogether.

 

That said, I am definitely enjoying the story, and I am looking forward to reading chapter 8.

[Former Member]

Okay, I was late so I read the chapters in the order you meant them to be read in. I guess I can see both sides of the argument about coffee... On one hand I did feel like we had just a little bit of an information dump. On the other hand, I think you handled the 'dump' in a new and creative way. I thought the release of more information on Mick was a natural lead in to the confusion Aaron feels in chapter 7. I'm interested to see what comes up in terms of their relationship.

 

Oh, and a another little side note: I thought that Aaron's little introspective time slot of the week being the most important time for him fit in perfectly with his character.

Edited July 14, 2008 by jessiflash

[B1ue]

It is Monday, you'll note. I wake up, having spent yesterday recovering from a fairly tiring week at work, looking forward to the latest chapter of "Buy Me a Drink." I even copy a poll form your blog onto mine, because I knew you'd provide the first genuine smile of the morning.

 

And what do I see? A distinct lack of BMAD Chapter 8.

 

Either way it'll be up late tomorrow or Saturday, Sunday at the latest.

 

Why did you lie to me Kevin? I'll have to console myself now with promotional photos from the movie Twilight. Specifically this one.

[AFriendlyFace]

One of the rules of editing is that sometimes you don't need to explain everything. Sometimes you can left things unseen, unsaid. Sometimes you can skip over things entirely. The questions you should be asking yourself are: Does this move the story forward? Does it maintain or build the dramatic tension? Does it transmit vital information that cannot be obtained, deduced or surmised in other ways? If you can't answer all of those questions with a "yes", it's probably fodder for the editing room floor.

Actually, that's kind of a good analogy for Coffee I think. It sort of is like the 'out-takes'. I guess I meant it as a little something extra for those that do want to read it. I agree with and appreciate your comments though!

 

 

Okay, I was late so I read the chapters in the order you meant them to be read in. I guess I can see both sides of the argument about coffee... On one hand I did feel like we had just a little bit of an information dump. On the other hand, I think you handled the 'dump' in a new and creative way. I thought the release of more information on Mick was a natural lead in to the confusion Aaron feels in chapter 7. I'm interested to see what comes up in terms of their relationship.

 

Oh, and a another little side note: I thought that Aaron's little introspective time slot of the week being the most important time for him fit in perfectly with his character.

Thanks Jess

 

It is Monday, you'll note. I wake up, having spent yesterday recovering from a fairly tiring week at work, looking forward to the latest chapter of "Buy Me a Drink." I even copy a poll form your blog onto mine, because I knew you'd provide the first genuine smile of the morning.

 

And what do I see? A distinct lack of BMAD Chapter 8.

 

Awww, I'm sorry, Gabe. On the bright side Chapter 8 is out now, and ...well I'm sure it's still Sunday somewhere

 

Seriously, sorry about that (everyone), and I'll do better in the future

 

Why did you lie to me Kevin? I'll have to console myself now with promotional photos from the movie Twilight. Specifically this one.

Well that is a consoling picture!

 

Here's the link to chapter 8: Turning Japanese

 

 

I hope you guys enjoy it!

[B1ue]

Thanks!

 

See folks, note the results linking a picture of an almost too pretty young man received. Not even a full hour passed before the chapter went up.

 

 

Speaking of which,after reading "Turning Japanese" it finally dawned on me what was bothering me about Mick and Aaron. Despite my earlier comment, I don't really anticipate Mick harboring a love that dare not speak its name for Aaron. But something was twigging, and I finally got the shape of it. Aaron's feelings for Mick are vaguely Oedipal, aren't they? At the same time that Aaron wants to grow up and be a real "man" (for lack of a better term) in Mick's eyes, he also has a sincere sexual attraction for his roommate. Mixed in there is the need to take care of Mick in the same way that Mick has been taking care of him. In other words, he thinks Mick thinks of him as a little boy, and Aaron desperately wants to prove he's all grown up, to the point of inventing a...sophisticated motivation behind Mick's actions.

[Tiff]

Hey Kevin,

 

Another great chapter as always. I liked all of Aaron's inner thoughts. They were just as comical as previous chapters. But most of all I really appreciate how the story is getting deeper into everyone's relationships. Before it was the introductions and things were light and funny, but now we get to see more of the dynamics between Mick and Aaron, and Ben and Aaron.

 

That dinner between the three guys was described very nicely. I could visualize everyone trying to be on their best behavior while trying to act normal and fun with each other.

 

It's good to see that Ben genuinely likes Aaron and vice versa, but I still like the subtle mocking on Aaron's part such as 'whispering about lack of money was customary in their circle.' So I guess Ben is the type of guy that gets treated to dinner? Is that why Aaron needs to get a job? Maybe in the future they can come to an agreement. I'm liking Ben more and more with each chapter, but he still comes off as a little high maintenance.

 

There is still something curious about Mick and Aaron's relationship and B1ue had a good explanation, but I'm far too tired to add to it or completely decipher it. But I agree that Mick seems to want Ben and Aaron together and wants Aaron to be happy. The way he was so confused when Aaron kept asking him if he was really happy for Aaron was telling enough.

 

Poor Aaron, he's so stressed and emotionally drained by the end of the day.

 

Can't wait for more!

[Cynical Romantic]

Yay, it's up!

 

Oh god! I

[outoftheashes]

I tried PM'ing Kevin about ch.8, but I don't think it worked.

 

Loved it! I was kinda surprised that money, (rather Aaron's lack of) would be an issue for Ben. I'm hoping that that and Mick's involvement in Aaron's life and financial status doesn't affect Ben and Aaron's relationship.

 

Can't wait for more!

[steph]

I was kinda surprised that money, (rather Aaron's lack of) would be an issue for Ben.

I actually don't think it is a problem for Ben. I think Aaron is miscorrectly assuming that because Ben always gets guys to buy him drinks. Remember, Aaron's a bit think sometimes!

[Cynical Romantic]

Hmmm, good insight, Steph. When Aaron started to object to the sushi restaurant, Ben didn't seem upset by it; he was probably just going to be fine with eating somewhere cheaper, or eating in. I bet he would've liked that better than having to endure an awkward dinner with Mick right off the bat, though he didn't complain much. I think the money thing is more Aaron's insecurity, plus perhaps a little projection; after all, he's quick to judge Ben for accepting free drinks from guys in the club, but gets a bit defensive about his own habit of accepting free everything else from Mick. Pot, kettle, black?

 

To that, I'll add that Aaron seems to hold a good deal of stereotypes against Ben and his friends, the money one being only one of them. Being a sociology major or even taking a few soci courses can do that to you, as you get used to thinking in broad generalizations about other human beings, and to labeling people's behaviour... as I remember well from my uni days. The way Aaron "studies" people is a double-edged sword; he had Ben's behaviour nicely pegged in the club, but he didn't know what to make of it when Ben started deviating from the script and showing interest in Aaron. I think he also panics a little when he's no longer the detached observer and is actually involved in the story.