[DomLuka] Father's Day

[Conner]

Sunday is Father's Day. For me, it's a time of reflection...a time to examine the father wounds and how I have been shaped by them...how I have incorporated them and how I overcame them...or not. It's also a time to look at the positive lessons I have learned from my dad even though the teaching process he employed was anything but positive. None of us escape the father wounds.

 

My father was a bully. It seemed he only had two emotions, rage and withdrawal. He lost his own father at the age of 8. The year was 1930, the beginning of the great depression. He was the oldest son of 7 children raised on a farm and had to leave school to help support the family. At 8 years old, he had to become a man. That must of sucked big time. My parents raised 5 children of their own Needless to say, my dad's fathering skills were limited.

 

He taught me that quitting on your responsibilities wasn't an option. He was always employed. He never booked off sick. He supported his family and saw all his children through high school. It wasn't pleasant but he never quit. I want to acknowledge him for that.

 

Your turn.

 

 

Hugs,

Conner

[lagomorph]

If we're going to talk about fathers, I'd actually rather mention my grandfather than my own dad. My grandfather was an incredible person. He was extremely smart, but left school at 16 to work and support his family. He had 6 kids, and he insisted that their lives be better than his own. They all found a way to go to college, and all but one graduated. Two became teachers, one a lawyer, and one a colonel and engineer in the air force. He worked long, hard days as a coal miner, and refused to quit even after losing an eye in an accident. He was always my hero, and my best friend. He taught me so many things, both silly and important. He died three years ago, and it was maybe worse than if I had lost my actual father. The sad thing is, I didn't realize most of this until it was too late. So while griping about the fact that this is another excuse to make people buy greeting cards and golf clubs (and that there's nothing but John Wayne movies on TV) I'll say that maybe Father's Day is pretty cool.

 

Val

[Sugarmag]

It has always been hard for me to put into words how much my father means to me. He always worked hard to support our family both financially and emotionally. When my sisters and I got in trouble my mother would get angry and lecture us until we finally couldn't take it anymore. We would go to our rooms and my father would come in to talk to us. It was never anger we saw in his eyes, but disappointment. It always hurt us to see him disappointed in us. That always had a greater impact on us than any lecture our mother could give.

 

I was in high school when I began to show my interest in photography. He went out and bought me my first camera. He always encouraged my passion for photography and to this day it his him I think about when I am in the darkroom.

 

When I was planning my wedding I was trying to decide what song to choose for the father/daughter dance I decided Bette Midler's "Wind Beneath my Wings" was the only song I could choose. It expresses exactly how I feel about him. He is truly my hero.

 

Mag

[sat8997]

My Dad is the guy that never grew up. My sisters and I always say he's on his 20th childhood. He will be 74 this August. He worked hard to support our family and I can't say I ever remember him missing time from work. He liked to hunt, fish and camp and it made no difference to him that we were girls. We went right along with him. Thanks to him I can bait my own fish hook without being grossed out, change the oil in my car or a flat tire, and parallel park on a dime, and handle a passable swing dance. He made Holloween costumes, gave us a bicycle built for two one Christmas, and was a steady arm to hang onto when I walked down the aisle the day I got married and started to freak.

 

He also taught me to do the best job I could no matter what that job was. He made sure his daughters could support themselves and didn't need to depend on anyone. He was that little voice of reason in the back of my head when my friends were trying to talk me into doing something not quite right. He never yelled but he had this look that, still today, meant you were in trouble. I try very hard not to disappoint him which is why at the age of 45 I still don't smoke in front of him.

 

He was and still is a wonderful Dad. My sisters and I spent yesterday with him and had a great time.

 

Sharon

[Davey]

My Dad has always been my hero. He's always been there from when I was born untill today. He's the man who bought and showed me how to ride my first bike, then my first car. I love him to bit's and wouldn't want to change a thing about him. He's never lost his temper with me even when Ive been a little brat. Like others have said ive never seen anger in his eye's when ive done wrong only disapointment. When I said I wanted to go out and work instead of going to college my mum went mad but he just said if I thought its the right thing to do then just do it. When I came out to him and my mum, he just simled and hugged me, saying he'd been waiting for me to open up to them! He's been great to Chris and treats him like he's there other son. I know I speak for my big sis in saying he's always been and continues to be the best dad ever to us.

I can't be with him this Fathers day because he and my mum are on a well earned holiday but he's in my thoughts and I hope he's enjoying what ever there doing just now.

 

Dave x

[BoyNeedsTherapy]

Hmm, I know I'm a little late with this but I thought I'd post anyway. My relationship with my dad hasn't always been great, he knows exactly how to piss me off and frequently uses that to purposely annoy me. Before I went away after I left school I couldn't even bear to be in the same room as him, but spending a year 3000 miles away kind of changes your perspective. While I was away I had a good opportunity to reflect on things, and since I've gotten back we've had a much better relationship. For the first time since I was about 13 I actually feel affection towards him, not just the 'I have to love you cos you're my dad' feelings. When I came out to him I was really scared that he'd react badly, but he actually took it really well, and it's never been an issue to him. He treats my bf like one of the family, so all in all things are getting better between my father and I.