I can't get over this !

[Andy2008]

Here my story ...

 

Last week , i'm going to a local gay bar and meet a guy . He asking me go to dance with him and i agreed , i think i'm really fall for him by the way he talk to me , he very sweet guys ( he kindda drunk but whatever ...) . I've let him touching and kissing me , he kind older than me ( he 35 , i'm 22) but i don't care , i really love him at the first sight , that's why i let him do anything about me ... And then about 2AM , he asking me go home with him but i said no , i really like him but i don't want coming up that's way ...I said goodbye to him and get his phone number .

 

I call him the day after ( Saturday ) , he did not pick-up my phone . I think he fall as sleep hard after that's night and then i call him on Sunday . He answers my phone and i'm asking what's it would like if me and him hanging out sometime ...He said he busy on Sunday and then he had to work from Monday until Friday , he only off Friday and Saturday . I'm really miss him and wanna to see him again , then i f**king wait until next Friday to call him but he did not answers my phone . So (you can said i'm stupid ) , i'm call him next Saturday night ( when i was at work ) and he pick up my phone , he asking me what i'm doing and he said he had to go movies with his friend , i'm said from that's night , i'm really think about him ( he laught ) and then i'm asking him how's about tommorror , did he get some free time , he said he had to go to cut his hair and had a appoinmnet on Sunday but let he see , he told me to call him back about 1 or 2 PM tommoror . And the next day , i'm call him total 4 time but he did not answers , may be he think i'm a freaking stalker or something like that . But i'm just so tired , i just wanna straight everything up , i just wanna said if he don't want me anymore just told me that , don't need to play around and using his excuse anymore ... I'm just so sad , i'm delete his phone and tried to forget about him ...

 

I'm just don't know , i never meet anyone like him before ... May be he just too drunk and want me in that's night .

Edited April 8, 2009 by Andy2008

[Sir Galahad]

If you want a blunt honest opinion, get over it.

Ok, here's the way I see it, & I'm not going to sugar coat it for you, because you need a serious reality check I think. You were a hook up for this guy, nothing more. He was probably expecting to sleep with you the night he met you, & good for you, you didn't. Otherwise we could be having a whole different conversation!

I don't think you love this guy, you're certainly infatuated with him though. Do yourself a huge favour, throw away his number, delete it from your cell phone & move on.

What you have to remember, for every guy like this, there will be someone out there who will take your call & will want to go on a date. So don't give up.

Edited April 8, 2009 by Sir Galahad

[old bob]

If you want a blunt honest opinion, get over it..

Just a few words to support Adrian's post.

Your words in your post are clear :

i really like him but i don't want coming up that's way ...I'm just don't know , i never meet anyone like him before... May be he just too drunk and want me in that's night.... I'm delete his phone and tried to forget about him ...

You are right, forget about him. I know it's not so easy, but

there will be someone out there who will take your call & will want to go on a date. So don't give up.

I'm sureyou will .

Edited April 8, 2009 by old bob

[JamesSavik]

First: It sounds like he's married.

 

If so, DO NOT- repeat- DO NOT get involved. The family will always be #1 and you will be the hobby.

 

 

Second: he might have you pegged as someone who is playing games. After allowing him to do whatever at the bar and then you didn't go home with him, you sent very mixed signals.

 

A lot of younger guys try to play older guys for various things and they know it. If he has been burned before, he won't go there again.

[AFriendlyFace]

If you want a blunt honest opinion, get over it.

Ok, here's the way I see it, & I'm not going to sugar coat it for you, because you need a serious reality check I think. You were a hook up for this guy, nothing more. He was probably expecting to sleep with you the night he met you, & good for you, you didn't. Otherwise we could be having a whole different conversation!

I don't think you love this guy, you're certainly infatuated with him though. Do yourself a huge favour, throw away his number, delete it from your cell phone & move on.

What you have to remember, for every guy like this, there will be someone out there who will take your call & will want to go on a date. So don't give up.

 

Yeah, I pretty much agree with this.

 

Look on the bright side, he didn't take you out again. Why is that a good thing? Because it sounds like he was never interested in something serious, only in sex. He might have been the sort of guy who liked a challenge and strung you along until he did get in your pants. Wouldn't that have been worse? Instead he did the somewhat more honourable thing and decided to leave you alone and let you down easy (probably what he thought he was doing) when he realized you weren't interested in casual sex.

 

James is right in that he probably got mixed signals from you at first. He was thinking, "hook up" and you weren't. When he realized that he probably thought it would be nicer to make excuses instead of being blunt. I can see your point that you'd have preferred bluntness, but bluntly letting someone down isn't easy for a lot of people.

 

I have an ex I broke up with, "because I was too busy and didn't have enough time." That was true, but I also just didn't think it was working. Now, nine months later I still get random calls/texts from him asking if I have more free time now and trying to make plans. It's my fault for not being more honest and direct. I get that. But I really think in the majority of cases if someone keeps making excuses and finding polite ways to say no, it means they're not interested.

 

To make matters more complicated, some people don't prefer bluntness. If a relationship is in its early, getting to know you stage (not later), the I'd definitely prefer for the guy to let me down easy and do pretty much what he did, rather that be blunt with me. Not everyone is the same. Some people prefer to be blunt, some people don't. Some people prefer it when others are direct with them, others prefer it when people are gentle and more evasive with them and let them take the hint on their own.

 

Pick yourself up and try again. There are plenty of guys out there who aren't just interested in sex. Some are interested in dating; he might not have been. Look at it this way, you had a fun time that evening and enjoyed his company and the attention. Take it for what it is, a nice memory to look back on and a chance to be proud of yourself for both having a good time and still being able to uphold your boundaries and feel good about yourself. That's not a bad thing at all.

 

Good luck, dude, and take care

 

-Kevin

Edited April 8, 2009 by AFriendlyFace

[Krista]

I agree with what Kevin said. He's not worth the effort and its a mess already so since its new, I think its best to just forget about him and move on.

 

Good luck dear.

[Andy2008]

I don't want sound like conceit , but the reason i go to the bar with my friend is having fun , sure , i want to meeting up with somebody but i'm not a slut or get a chance to flir with anybody . He the one who's hook me up and before i'm leaving , he ask for my cell phone .

 

I'm alway get attention when i go to the gay local , last time somebody give me a card and asking me become a model for them company . I'm not easy to hook up with somebody unless i'm get interesting in them . And Jeff ( his name ) really give my attention . I think i'm just lost my control that's night , we should stay and talking instead do dirty dancing .

 

The only thing i regret is i'm just so stupid to let him fool me around and like everybody said , he just into casual sex not really into dating . And maybe my signal like mix-up !!! I don't known , but he told me go home with him and we don't have sex!!! We fall as sleep and watch TV together . That's what's he said .

 

BTW , i really have a good time that's night and that ' s nice memories .

And do you think , everything will changed if i went home with him that's night ... IDK

Edited April 9, 2009 by Andy2008

[Tiger]

Short and simple...

 

He's just not that into you.

[Andy2008]

Short and simple...

 

He's just not that into you.

 

man !!! You made me feel so sad !!! :wacko:

[Meeko]

man !!! You made me feel so sad !!! :wacko:

 

 

Like a good friend once told me, "The truth hurts," But you learn from it and move on. There are a lot of guys out there, some who will actually care about you, some who will just want you for sex and be done with you. Just be careful and learn from your mistakes, we all make them but not all of us learn from them.

 

Good Luck

[David McLeod]

I'm just don't know , i never meet anyone like him before ... May be he just too drunk and want me in that's night .

 

I'm not the guy to warn anyone about alcohol: I love the stuff. However, I do know that it can not only reduce inhibitions, but also paint things in brighter colors than they really are.

 

If you want a blunt honest opinion, get over it.

...What you have to remember, for every guy like this, there will be someone out there who will take your call & will want to go on a date. So don't give up.

 

Absolutely: get over him but don't give up. You say you're good looking. Well, that's a start. What are your other good qualities? (Most of never really ask ourselves that question; you'd be surprised at how many you can come up with, if you really think about it.) How can you use them to your advantage?

[Tiger]

man !!! You made me feel so sad !!! :wacko:

 

I just thought it best to point it out now. There are other cocks in the hen house, and you'll find one better.

[W_L]

I just thought it best to point it out now. There are other cocks in the hen house, and you'll find one better.

 

I prefer mature chickens, not too small or young, and not too old as cocks get pushy, before I fry'em up.

 

I've been burned as well by guys, when I started out, but now I am fine with it. It happens and you don't forget about it; you just block them on AIM.

[Mark Arbour]

I'm not the guy to warn anyone about alcohol: I love the stuff. However, I do know that it can not only reduce inhibitions, but also paint things in brighter colors than they really are.

 

An incredibly tasteful way of talking about beer goggles. Well put David.

[LongGone]

If you want a blunt honest opinion, get over it.

Ok, here's the way I see it, & I'm not going to sugar coat it for you, because you need a serious reality check I think. You were a hook up for this guy, nothing more. He was probably expecting to sleep with you the night he met you, & good for you, you didn't. Otherwise we could be having a whole different conversation!

I am forced to agree with SG here. Don't walk away: RUN.