Against The Machine

[Riley Jericho]

Is our world going down the tubes?

Will there ever be a time where technology can change a personality?

Is there any hope for Ben and Nathan?

Would you dare face the Machine?

 

Tell me what you think.....

 

Riley Jericho

[Nephylim]

I think you're twisted man... and I love it. The story is incredibly detailed and full of technology but is also intensely personal. It would be easy in a story like this to lose the sense of the individual, to have two dimensional characters but that is not the case here... the characters are very well drawn and definitely three dimensional.

 

The writing is smooth, the technicalities in place but not so much as to interfere with the fluidity and even when it's making you shiver it's drawing you in.

 

Would it be worth it? Losing your soul for the sake of great sex? Hell no ... at least not with a f**king maching

[paya]

Umm I have this question that is nagging me... What's the point in sending gays for correction to "the Machine" when they won't be able to have sex with a woman afterwards anyway? That just doesn't make sense...

Well the idea of having my brain controlled by a machine is scary It's such a big intrusion into the life of an individual... Imagine you're the parents of the two poor boys... knowing that they're never going to have sex with anyone but some machine... that they're manipulated via some ring and attachments on their penis... it's very Matrix-like. And dangerous, it could be abused, the computer/Machine has enormous power over a large number of people. It's really disturbing. How did you come up with that idea?Moreover it looks that the Attendant is somehow directing the machine. So if he had decided not to pursue why Ben almost remembered Nathan, the machine wouldn't have known...

 

OK, another question... Why it has to be the Machine that is always mated with them. After alternating their mind/brain there isn't any need for the Machine to keep the control over them... They were altered, changed, enhanced - call it however you want - so now they are not dangerous for the society. So why they just can't return the control to their brain again? If the synapses were redirected so that they think in other way than before, why they had to remain being slaves of the Machine? This is worse than a permanent slavery...

Edited January 15, 2010 by paya

[Conner]

Paya, it's all in the script!

 

Ok, I hereby dub the machine the "Remmington 500 Masturbator". Where's the champagne???

 

Imagine having to write the patent for that?

 

I now know 2 twisted people in the UK.

[Riley Jericho]

Umm I have this question that is nagging me... What's the point in sending gays for correction to "the Machine" when they won't be able to have sex with a woman afterwards anyway? That just doesn't make sense...

Well the idea of having my brain controlled by a machine is scary It's such a big intrusion into the life of an individual... Imagine you're the parents of the two poor boys... knowing that they're never going to have sex with anyone but some machine... that they're manipulated via some ring and attachments on their penis... it's very Matrix-like. And dangerous, it could be abused, the computer/Machine has enormous power over a large number of people. It's really disturbing. How did you come up with that idea?Moreover it looks that the Attendant is somehow directing the machine. So if he had decided not to pursue why Ben almost remembered Nathan, the machine wouldn't have known...

 

OK, another question... Why it has to be the Machine that is always mated with them. After alternating their mind/brain there isn't any need for the Machine to keep the control over them... They were altered, changed, enhanced - call it however you want - so now they are not dangerous for the society. So why they just can't return the control to their brain again? If the synapses were redirected so that they think in other way than before, why they had to remain being slaves of the Machine? This is worse than a permanent slavery...

 

Hi Paya - good questions, and some of it hasn't been answered yet, but it's coming - particularly the incident between the two boys!

 

As Conner picked up, the need to keep the ongoing connection (and the requirement to be mated in an ongoing way, even after the initial conditioning) is buried somewhere there in the script. And yes, it's permanent. Is it slavery? Probably. Does it work and are they better off? They may think so......

 

Riley

[paya]

Hi Paya - good questions, and some of it hasn't been answered yet, but it's coming - particularly the incident between the two boys!

 

As Conner picked up, the need to keep the ongoing connection (and the requirement to be mated in an ongoing way, even after the initial conditioning) is buried somewhere there in the script. And yes, it's permanent. Is it slavery? Probably. Does it work and are they better off? They may think so......

 

Riley

 

No, you don't understand. And it probably is my English... I totally get why they have to mate with the machine every day - not to lose the connection, to strengthen the connection and the conditioning and all that jazz.

[Riley Jericho]

No, you don't understand. And it probably is my English... I totally get why they have to mate with the machine every day - not to lose the connection, to strengthen the connection and the conditioning and all that jazz. What I wanted to know is, why is there the need (in the law/the society itself) to control them all the time, even after their behaviour was changed in their brains. Because the change in their personalities isn't only so that they are not dangerous to the society (and it's great in the story that it shows how disputable is "what is dangerous to the society and what is not") but it includes implanting their acceptance of being enslaved to the Machine. If they know how to re-trace the synapses in the brain, it should be enough to change the responses to the dangerous behaviour, the necessity of mating with the Machine is abundant. (in my view, of course)

 

 

OK, so I'll be waiting for the answers for the gays being mated (why? ), how the parents take it, abuse of the Machine system (who directs all this? is there any check against the abuse? ), BUT you haven't answered this question! HOW on Earth did you come at this idea? What was the inspiration? How... why... when... ummm And thanks for the story! Even if I have a lot of questions and oppose the idea on which is the Machine built and used, I like the story very much!

 

Hi there!

Let me answer the questions I can whilst I have a think about how to better describe the rest!

 

In regards to the parents - well that is a whole chapter yet to come, so I can't tell you what happens. But, as you say, how would you feel? Probably pretty angry if it was your kid!

 

Is there abuse of the system - that's touched on later too.

 

Where did the idea come from? To be honest, it kind of grew as it went along. The problem for me became stopping and not feeling I had to follow every conceivable rabbit hole! At least this is what I found, but actually this is the first story I've ever written and published, so I don't know if this is so for everyone. I'm in the middle of writing a second at the moment, so I'm kind of learning as I go along.

 

Anyway - glad you are enjoying it! It's certainly been encouraging to get all the helpful feedback.

Riley

[Nephylim]

One question that I have been wondering about is HOW they mate to the machine every day. Presumably they don't all go back to the facility as there are simply too many people being processed over time for that to be feasible. Are they given mobile units to take home? Or are there ports installed in their homes.. if so what happens when they move etc And what would happen if they didn't mate? For one day, two...ever? Is it part of the conditioning that they WANT to connect? What if someone hacked the machine... would they then be able to control everyone who is mating with it? Hmm... I appreciate that some of these questions may be ones that are answered later in the story and perhaps even the decision not to answer them is a spoiler in iteself... but enquiring minds need to know

[Riley Jericho]

One question that I have been wondering about is HOW they mate to the machine every day. Presumably they don't all go back to the facility as there are simply too many people being processed over time for that to be feasible. Are they given mobile units to take home? Or are there ports installed in their homes.. if so what happens when they move etc And what would happen if they didn't mate? For one day, two...ever? Is it part of the conditioning that they WANT to connect? What if someone hacked the machine... would they then be able to control everyone who is mating with it? Hmm... I appreciate that some of these questions may be ones that are answered later in the story and perhaps even the decision not to answer them is a spoiler in iteself... but enquiring minds need to know

 

Oooohhh - sharp questions! And yes, you are right, all of this is coming in the next couple of chapters! I promise to post later tonight.......

 

Riley

[Nephylim]

I see you've answered a lot of the questions then Very informative chapter and with enough prods to make you wonder what the hell is coming next. I for one hope very much that the Attendants doesn't get to process the children. I don't know if either my mind or my heart could stand it. That slimy creep ( not the Attendant) almost makes me ashamed to be a lawyer. Not that I haven't met many like him. As I said in my review... this story is easy on the eye but not on the mind. I feel like I've had a workout every time I read a chapter. My mind is definitely doing mental gymnastics... sexual ones

[Conner]

Well, it strikes me that this story will be about something gone wrong with the "usual" results the machine delivers. It seems it will definitely involve Nathan and Ben and, to a lesser extent, Jack and Noah.

 

I don't believe that it will simply be a matter of gay orientation overcoming the conditioning. There are bigger issues here. But there are some light shades of Clockwork Orange at play me thinks.

 

Now Jack submitted to the process voluntarily. I'm wondering if that will make a difference at all - certainly the story tells us it won't.

 

I also declare a minor cliffhanger. I suppose an "almighty screech" could simply be someone getting goosed but it strikes me that we're at the point where things start to go "wrong".

[Nephylim]

My feeling is that, after Jack being worried about Noah not remembering him or not wanting to be with him the 'amighty screech' is Noah about to throw himself at him Of course I could be wrong, I frequenty am

[Riley Jericho]

In an attempt to make sense of some of the earlier questions about the Machine - here is my understanding of what I thought I meant!

 

There are several parts to this....

 

Firstly, the purpose of the initial connection to the Machine is solely to create a bridge into the mind - a door that has a permanent door wedge provided by the Realignment. This though has no affect on behaviour or inherently changes a personality. We saw this with Carlos when he awake immediately following the realignmet phase and was still his old obnoxious self.

 

But, what had changed at that point was his own will, and his brain's ability to resist suggestion being driven from outside his own making. This was the failure of the early attempts to use the procedure in its early years. They could be temporarily manipulated by the Machine to express a changed behaviour, but it was temporary and as soon as they were disconnected, the mind would block out the intrusion and resist and negate the attempt at behaviour/personality change. And then there were greater problems in subsequently breaking into that mind on the next occasion.

 

So, with permanent access assured, we can move on to conditioning. The primary courses, at the Centre, will create the foundation and put in place the new core values. But the premise is still that these new values need maintaining in the individual. Why? Because the human mind is a complex and creative instrument that is always altering and adapting....

 

So the Machine connects every day and reinforces the conditioning values. But again, the only purpose of the realignment, at this point, is to allow the connection without facing resistance.

 

And to ensure the individual 'wants' to connect on a daily basis, a subtle but strong compulsion is implanted. I like it, it feels normal, I want it, I need it and I feel good during and after. All of this still being monitored by the Centre, of course.

 

So, four parts:

1) initial breaking onto the mind via the strong compulsions to respond to the offer of sex and orgasm.

2) permanent access guaranteed via realignment phase

3) behaviour and personal values shifted by deep conditioning

4) those new values upheld by daily mating and conditioning updates during those matings.

 

OK - does that hold together enough for you, or am I missing something?

Regards

Riley

[Nephylim]

Works for me

[Conner]

My feeling is that, after Jack being worried about Noah not remembering him or not wanting to be with him the 'amighty screech' is Noah about to throw himself at him Of course I could be wrong, I frequenty am

 

That was bang on, Neph!

 

I'm now thinking that twisted minds must have some sort of etheral connection.

[JamesSavik]

I nominate Riley Jericho to be upgraded to promising author status and immediate hosting.

 

This is an important story and as kick ass a debut story as I've ever seen. Rarely has a rookie author ever hit on an area so timely and on target as nano-technology and its possible future applications.

 

Good science fiction asks questions about humanity and this story is off and running as strong or stronger than a great deal of commercial fiction.

[paya]

In an attempt to make sense of some of the earlier questions about the Machine - here is my understanding of what I thought I meant!

 

There are several parts to this....

 

...

 

 

 

 

So, four parts:

1) initial breaking onto the mind via the strong compulsions to respond to the offer of sex and orgasm.

2) permanent access guaranteed via realignment phase

3) behaviour and personal values shifted by deep conditioning

4) those new values upheld by daily mating and conditioning updates during those matings.

 

OK - does that hold together enough for you, or am I missing something?

Regards

Riley

 

OK, nicely explained, I get it, still it's bad they can't have sex but with some Machine...

[Nephylim]

Hehe yeah... that would be soooo funny. Although I think I would be a bit worried if they said that being a bad lawyer was illegal

 

The last chapter was a change of pace and focus. It was sweet to see Ben with his parents and his mother being a nurse is bound to help but still!!!! I would be FURIOUS if someone did that to my son... more than that I would be rebellious. Hmm...

 

And what on earth has Stephen done to his dad? Yep evil

[Conner]

I nominate Riley Jericho to be immediately upgraded to promising author status and immediate hosting.

 

This is an important story and as kick ass a debut story as I've ever seen. Rarely has a rookie author ever hit on an area so timely and on target as nano-technology and its possible future applications.

 

Good science fiction asks questions about humanity and this story is off and running as strong or stronger than a great deal of commercial fiction.

 

I agree 100%, James.

 

I would send Nephy with him, though, into the "Hallowed Hosted Halls". Twistedness needs company.

[Nephylim]

I agree 100%, James.

 

I would send Nephy with him, though, into the "Hallowed Hosted Halls". Twistedness needs company.

 

 

Well I may be Queen of Evil but every Queen needs a king... or at least a regent. I'd be happy to share my throne with such a twisted genius... I'm sure that together we would drum up plenty of ways to while away the long winter nights... and summer days Don't know if the world is ready for that thought... might lead to apocalypse

[Umbathri]

Very engrossing and interesting story. Are lawyers culpable for gross negligence and child abuse on the part of their charges? hehe

 

Try to ignore the people asking questions about HOW its happening, Id say only reveal whats going on slowly as the patients discover it; almost as if the reader has also just gone through this weird treatment and is discovering this new world anew.

 

and note this is the first time Ive posted on this forum in almost 2 years, great job.

[Riley Jericho]

Hehe yeah... that would be soooo funny. Although I think I would be a bit worried if they said that being a bad lawyer was illegal

 

The last chapter was a change of pace and focus. It was sweet to see Ben with his parents and his mother being a nurse is bound to help but still!!!! I would be FURIOUS if someone did that to my son... more than that I would be rebellious. Hmm...

 

And what on earth has Stephen done to his dad? Yep evil

 

Nephy, I'm rather shocked! The idea that you might actually be rebellious is quite disturbing!

 

Riley

[Nephylim]

Nephy, I'm rather shocked! The idea that you might actually be rebellious is quite disturbing!

 

Riley

 

There's a lot about me that's quite disturbing.

[Riley Jericho]

Very engrossing and interesting story. Are lawyers culpable for gross negligence and child abuse on the part of their charges? hehe

 

Try to ignore the people asking questions about HOW its happening, Id say only reveal whats going on slowly as the patients discover it; almost as if the reader has also just gone through this weird treatment and is discovering this new world anew.

 

and note this is the first time Ive posted on this forum in almost 2 years, great job.

 

Thanks...

RJ

[Conner]

Ok, chapter 12 was an eye opener for me.

 

I want the machine!!!