Suicide - have you ever pursued it?

[hh5]

 

I think there are two types of suicide when we get into these sorts of conversations. One type of suicide is a sideways cry for help by people that may lack more advanced coping skills than they currently have. The other type is a serious health related issue. But again, most people don't understand depression well enough to see the dividing line between the two types of suicide attempts.

 

wHAT if the suicide attempt is a bit of both? or neither

 

Bottom line we're all going to cryer's screaming like that Stanley Steamer commercial

 

People want a new carpet in their life rather then clean carpet thats still dirty

 

Anyway if you're a nobody to someone - no one cares if one is alive or gone

 

Well little house on the pairre proved that people visit you when you're dead than come to your birthday

[JamesSavik]

I've never attempted suicide because if I did, that would be that. I have the know how to get it right the first time.

 

I opted for a different plan. I would rather linger here and be a pain in the ass to those that were causing me misery.

[Y_B]

I've never attempted suicide because if I did, that would be that. I have the know how to get it right the first time.

 

I opted for a different plan. I would rather linger here and be a pain in the ass to those that were causing me misery.

 

pain in the ass to those "who" were causing me misery

[Cia]

pain in the ass to those "who" were causing me misery

 

 

I'm guessing Yang is going to be towards the head of that list

[warrior]

Left some beautiful scars on my wrists once.

 

Hmm, they're almost gone now. Kinda missed them.

 

So yes, I have attempted but not really. I did not seriously tried and no I did not do any harm to myself.

 

Funny thing is, I've been nursing the idea again these days. But then now I know I'll probably do nothing about the idea. Just overall stress and...

 

Same here...my scars are not gone yet though...sighs...sometimes life sucks so much that it seems better to destroy it all.

[Cia]

Sometimes the scars serve as a reminder of things that are best left forgotten. Sometimes the scars make us remember those things we should never forget. You have to decide what they mean to you.

[TetRefine]

I have entertained the idea, only seriously once. It would have been so easy. I had a cabinet full of rifles and handguns to chose from. But I decided that there was always a chance life would get better at some point. And it got a whole lot better. And I could have never lived with the thought of putting my family through so much pain. That is what makes suicide a very selfish act.

[thatboyChase]

TL:DR but - no, never i value my life and I'm not a huge puss. life is a privilege, not something you can willy nilly say peace out to. thusly why suicide is a big fat sin.

 

I opted for a different plan. I would rather linger here and be a pain in the ass to those that were causing me misery.

 

QFT

[Arpeggio]

Does anyone ever think suicide is just a sin because generations before us just couldn't explain the hurt and pain it has to their kids and etc that it's just easier to say it's a sin?

 

I dunno, I'm tired and thinking too much.

[thatboyChase]

Does anyone ever think suicide is just a sin because generations before us just couldn't explain the hurt and pain it has to their kids and etc that it's just easier to say it's a sin?

 

I dunno, I'm tired and thinking too much.

 

its a sin because life is a gift, how dare you take away something God has given you. That is why its a sin

[Mark Arbour]

its a sin because life is a gift, how dare you take away something God has given you. That is why its a sin

 

Like you don't sin with every breath you take. Every sexy breath.

[hh5]

its a sin because life is a gift, how dare you take away something God has given you. That is why its a sin

 

but then there are exceptions - what if god plan was for someone to suicide then how could it been a gift.

 

then there goes the argument of free will

 

then how does man learn its a gift if not have an example of life thrown away

( how do you know sweet when you haven't tasted bitter )

 

Man has short memory of its lessons

 

----

 

someone I know, his father commited suicide - due to battling depression for 50 years

 

sure I know its sad for his family - and - they're dealing with it in different ways

sure I remind him - to encourage his siblings to not give up on their education or advancement or dream - its a gift from Parents that should not be thrown away - its up to them to figure out the path

 

each sibling will be affect in different ways and so will the wife

[Douw]

As much as i wanted to die wen i poet the knife to my skin or wen i looked over the edge something stopped me from jumping and the knife wood not cut in the end i realized that i can't run from the enviable i have to face my misery and problems head on and i am doing just that it is not easy but it brings much joy wen i reach the peek or wen i kill my monster's... So i stopped being sad and being lonely it is not that bad any more because i'm doing something about it.

[Arpeggio]

its a sin because life is a gift, how dare you take away something God has given you. That is why its a sin

 

I'm not a Christian, but I agree, life is a gift.

Edited May 26, 2010 by Arpeggio

[Skylights]

I'm not a Christian, but I agree, life is a gift.

 

From who/what then, if not your Lord and Saviour?

[Former Member]

I've tried it...5 times that I can remember, god knows how many more when I was high as a kite and hadn't a clue what I was doing.

[Y_B]

I've tried it...5 times that I can remember, god knows how many more when I was high as a kite and hadn't a clue what I was doing.

 

The most memorable...and painful...attempt was in my 16th year....etc

 

 

Thanks for sharing.

And I'm glad you're still here.

 

Now, let's drink to better days

 

 

 

[Douw]

Sound good to me! Cheers!

[Cheyenne]

I've had times where things just escalated to the point to where I just wanted...everything to end. I've always thought that if I left, no one would really notice or care. I think that the only reason I haven't tried to do it is because I want my baby cousin to know me and I want to be an influence on her life and be there for her, and how she would never know me if I left while she's still too young to know me. And, I feel like that I haven't fulfilled my "goal" in ife yet. I don't believe in a God or anything, but I do believe in karma and that everything happens for a reason, and we all have a purpose in life.

 

Cutting....I've done it, but not drasticly. I've purposely cut myself while shaving a perfectly smooth leg just to let some of the pain/anger/hate out. I started cutting when my mom didn't beleive me when I came out as bi, or when I came out to her and dad, she was never...accepting I guess you would say to it. She tried to use the excuse "I'm to young to know what I want" and blaming it on others. When I'm with dad, I can bitch and just let it all out and not resort to cutting. I've never done it in a place easily visibe like my arms, but since I don't where shorts, I usually do it on my legs and underarms.

 

Sorry, I made everyone read this eyesore! get a little carried away sometimes.

[Menorain]

About 8 or 9 months ago I tried to kill myself with pills. Luckily it ended in failure. I just became bored with living tbh. My problem was that I had grand ideas about myself. I suppose that I even perceived myself as a god. Just seriously peculiar ideas of grandeur. Consequently I just felt that I was above everyone else and that life was inconsequential. After spending over half a year being treated for bipolar, bpd, gad and major depression I can say without a shadow of a doubt that I'm a completely different person. Or at least a more together person. I wouldn't even consider taking my life. It can still be hard to cope with the way my mind works, but I get help through ongoing therapy and medication. If anyone else felt suicidal or were even having thoughts about dying, then I'd recommend they see a doctor. It surprised me that these people can actually really help haha Anyway, feel free to talk to me if you're going through a problem or whateveeeer

 

Gosh I sound so depressing haha

[DragonMando]

Pretty constantly from age thirteen through...well, recently. Still think about it occasionally, but thank whatever powers that be that I'm too chicken to try again. Last attempt was the day before my mom kicked me out (though she doesn't know about the attempt). I was going to slit my own throat with my hunting knife and I got the blade to where I was just starting to break the skin when my survival instincts kicked back in. When I got thrown out I was pretty sure for a while I'd die of starvation and/or hypothermia and didn't even care--consciously, anyway, blind instinct kept yelling at me every time I gave up though.

 

I did the self-harm thing, too, mostly after fights with my parents. I still have scars from cutting and intentional burning and remember how scary it was to be so far into my wits end that conscious thought was completely gone and I was left rocking myself in a corner. There was also some biting and scratching when I didn't have sharper implements on hand.

 

It's starting to ease up some, though the urge to self-harm is still there whenever I get stressed.

[AleMaho]

Pursued it? No.

Thought/Consider it? Way too many times.

Why I'd never do it? I'm such a chicken!

 

And life is beautiful. All the time. Sometimes we just get to down to recognize it!

Life.... it is definitely worth living!

[DKing23]

About six months ago, I attempted to hang myself and I almost succeeded. I was dangling with the rope around my neck and I passed out. When I woke up, I was in a psychiatric hospital strapped to the bed and my family hovering over me. They were completely shocked that their "little angel" would attempt something so vile. I really had no qualms about what I was doing and asked them why didn't they let me die? The response that I got was God had a plan for all of us and we should see things through. I still to this day think that if "God" has a plan for each of us, then why have I been abused and raped 4 times by my family members? I am just supposed to sit and act like nothing happened? After the 2nd time, I realized that my family wasn't going to believe me and so I did what I thought was best. The only regret I have is that they stopped me. I could have lived with myself if the rope broke, or something else, but the fact that they stopped me is one of the reasons why I refuse to talk to them anymore.

[Dark]

Funny how threads like these can come back to life. It's funny how in my adult life I became a trainer for how to detect depression and prevent suicides when, now, I can say that I've been battling depression since I was about 12 years old. I seriously planned and almost attempted suicide the winter I was a freshman in high school. I was 13.

 

It's hard to quantify something so intensely personal as suicide. To this day, none of my family know about how close I almost came to suicide. Do I get mad at myself because I failed? Yes, I do. Sometimes. Some days I'm relieved and some days I think about what a waste that would have been, all the things I wouldn't have been able to do. These are the thoughts I've written down for myself and read and re-read when I hit my periodic depressive cycles. Knowing what I know now, if I went back, I'd probably find a different and more permanent means of offing myself, but for better or worse, that wasn't the decision I made at the time and I have to believe I'm still here for a reason.

 

I believe that all life is a gift, but that the gift is the impact we make on other people. I think about all the ill, neglected, and abused children and what happens to the people around them. I believe that a death can have meaning and if there's a fate, maybe that's one person's fate (to die) and it's another person's fate to be affected by it.

 

If you want to read something depressing about a time nearly 20 years ago, you can continue reading below. Cheers, everyone.

 

 

My one suicide attempt came about because, out of the blue, I remembered I'd been molested when I was 8. Why I remembered that I don't know. I would have happily lived my life without ever knowing that. I think. The worst part about it is that to this day I can't remember everything. I'm not sure if I was raped or not. How messed up is that? So, here I was floundering over my sexuality and I hit myself with that. *sigh*

 

For some reason, slitting my wrists never occurred to me. Where we lived at the time, there was a huge culvert behind our house and at the bottom of that was a river and dam. A footbridge connected our side of the culvert to the other, where the supposed rich kids lived. That winter was very, very rainy and we had major flooding. I remember wondering what everyone would think when I was gone, what they would say or do, and how they'd react. Looking back I don't believe I exhibited any of the "warning signs" I was later trained to look for, such as saying goodbye to everyone, giving away personal possessions, etc. It was only after my attempt that I began acting out and being defiant. On one of the worst days of rain, when the water was so high that it covered the bridge, I waded out there to the middle and held onto the railing and was going to jump. Out of the downward cycle of thoughts, I remember thinking that I was surely going to mess this up if I did it, because I could swim all too well and, knowing my luck, I'd just hit a rock and break an arm and someone would have to come rescue me and how embarrassing would that be! I clung to that railing in the pouring rain and cried and shivered. I ended up going home.

 

I list that as one of the 3 worst times of my life. If not for the guy I had just met, I would have attempted again (with a far higher likelihood of success) while in college. I'd say I've never felt worse than I did last xmas suffering from the swine flu. Doctors kept telling me I was fine -- "yeah," is what I told them, "and I'm 'fine' because I'm sitting in the emergency room on xmas eve with a fever of 105 and sweats and chills. Sure, I'm 'fine.'" I was sick between Thanksgiving and New Years, about 6 weeks of constant cold symptoms, bronchitis, sinus infections, etc. It was horrible. I wanted to die, but I didn't want to kill myself -- weird, huh? LOL.

[Bumblebee]

Have I ever pursued it, yea a few times. It's all I think about sometimes, but self-harming helps a bit.

 

 

As Dark meantioned about the warning signs, not even the numerous psychiatrist's I've been to have picked up on them and that the fact that no one seemed to care made me not want to tell anyone irl about it..... And that I don't wanna be locked up somewhere.