The Rules of The CAP Saga

[methodwriter85]

Alright, so I saw Scream 4 today. It was decent- I liked it. And so it got me to thinking...the Scream franchise makes fun of all the horror movie conventions. What if we applied the "rules of horror movies" to the CAP Saga? After 11 stories, there are certain rules and conventions that Mark's written into the saga, like any other author who's written a continuing serial.

 

Here's what I see as the "rules" of CAP:

 

1. Every teenage/early twentysomething protagonist must have sex with someone significantly older than them, at least ten years older. Preferably, it should be with a middle-aged guy.

 

2. Conversely, if you are a middle-aged protagonist, you must have sex with someone significantly younger than you, preferably a teenager but a 25-year old will do.

 

3. Every protagonist must fall in love with a Hayes boy, if they are not a Hayes themself. Or they at least have to have sex with a Hayes boy.

 

4. Whenever Stefan or Claire encounters a poor/middle-class person, they must give them a makeover. They never encounter anyone who's into the thrift-store look or the punk look and would therefore shudder at the clothes in Nordstrom or Bloomingdales.

 

5. The Schluters/Cramptons always make great finanical decisions- like investing in Alameda County real estate in the 1970's or getting out of the tech market just before the bubble burst in 2000. There will never be a serious financial set-back for them, or any kind of financial blunder. I bet they'll get out of real estate in 2006 or 2007. You could argue against this by mentioning Robbie's movie failures...but then...he's a Hayes so this rule doesn't really apply to him.

 

6. Long-lost relatives pop up out of nowhere. (I love how Mark uses such a well-loved soap opera convention.)

 

7. To get the normally-gay characters to procreate, there's a moment where the gay guy is just so overcome with desire for a woman they have sex, and she winds up pregnant. The other way is that the gay couple have a threesome with a woman. No one uses IVF, adoption, or anything like that. The latter part of this convention is used the most.

 

8. Every story, the family takes in some abused or neglected youth to practice some noblesse oblige on them. The only one I don't think did that would be Marcel.

 

Any other CAP saga rules I'm missing here?

[KYE]

9. Someone will usually die, sometimes by murder or some other horrible death.

 

 

[methodwriter85]

10. People must cheat on their significant others. There is never total fidelity. (Another well-loved soap opera trope.) Even Jack cheated on Claire when they were in high school, right?

 

11. This is a contradiction of another soap opera trope- when people die, they don't come back. Aaron Hayes is the only person that's bent this rule. Too bad it couldn't have been Jeff.

[KYE]

12. Story backgrounds will include Rape, violent and/or kinky sex.

 

13. Post 80's stories will include multiple condomless sex "slip-ups" that will NOT result in anyone becoming HIV positive.

[Mark Arbour]

Bunch of smart asses. Guess I have some rules to break.

 

Alright, so I saw Scream 4 today. It was decent- I liked it. And so it got me to thinking...the Scream franchise makes fun of all the horror movie conventions. What if we applied the "rules of horror movies" to the CAP Saga? After 11 stories, there are certain rules and conventions that Mark's written into the saga, like any other author who's written a continuing serial.

 

Here's what I see as the "rules" of CAP:

 

1. Every teenage/early twentysomething protagonist must have sex with someone significantly older than them, at least ten years older. Preferably, it should be with a middle-aged guy.

 

That's because older guys are hot.

 

2. Conversely, if you are a middle-aged protagonist, you must have sex with someone significantly younger than you, preferably a teenager but a 25-year old will do.

 

That's because young guys are hot too.

 

3. Every protagonist must fall in love with a Hayes boy, if they are not a Hayes themself. Or they at least have to have sex with a Hayes boy.

 

Duh. Who wouldn't want to have sex with a Hayes boy?

 

4. Whenever Stefan or Claire encounters a poor/middle-class person, they must give them a makeover. They never encounter anyone who's into the thrift-store look or the punk look and would therefore shudder at the clothes in Nordstrom or Bloomingdales.

 

Makeovers are fun, and symbolic.

 

5. The Schluters/Cramptons always make great finanical decisions- like investing in Alameda County real estate in the 1970's or getting out of the tech market just before the bubble burst in 2000. There will never be a serious financial set-back for them, or any kind of financial blunder. I bet they'll get out of real estate in 2006 or 2007. You could argue against this by mentioning Robbie's movie failures...but then...he's a Hayes so this rule doesn't really apply to him.

 

Never say "always." Besides, That's mostly Stef and he just has the ability to evaluate the "herd" and use it as a predictor. Many people foresaw the Dot.com bubble bursting, they just didn't have the cojones to take the risk and get out.

 

6. Long-lost relatives pop up out of nowhere. (I love how Mark uses such a well-loved soap opera convention.)

 

When you have a randy, sexual family, they are bound to leave a trail of genetic material in their wake.

 

7. To get the normally-gay characters to procreate, there's a moment where the gay guy is just so overcome with desire for a woman they have sex, and she winds up pregnant. The other way is that the gay couple have a threesome with a woman. No one uses IVF, adoption, or anything like that. The latter part of this convention is used the most.

 

Most guys experiment. Besides, IVF seems so sterile.

 

8. Every story, the family takes in some abused or neglected youth to practice some noblesse oblige on them. The only one I don't think did that would be Marcel.

 

A central theme: taking care of those less fortunate than you, or those who are hurt.

 

 

 

9. Someone will usually die, sometimes by murder or some other horrible death.

 

The casualty rates have been remarkably low so far. Still, in every story except "A Summer Love", "If if Fits", and "Bloodlines", someone has died. In Bloodlines, you could argue that point, and argue that Matthew Shepard was a character, but I think this should only apply to fictional characters.

 

 

10. People must cheat on their significant others. There is never total fidelity. (Another well-loved soap opera trope.) Even Jack cheated on Claire when they were in high school, right?

 

Jack kissed another girl and didn't like it (so he says). I hardly call that cheating. JP and Stefan haven't "cheated" on each other, since they don't have that commitment.

 

 

11. This is a contradiction of another soap opera trope- when people die, they don't come back. Aaron Hayes is the only person that's bent this rule. Too bad it couldn't have been Jeff. ../../public/style_emoticons/default/sad.gif

 

Look, one resurrection per saga is all that's allowed. Ask Jesus about that.

 

 

 

12. Story backgrounds will include Rape, violent and/or kinky sex.

 

Alright, tell me you don't want to try out an e-stim machine.

 

13. Post 80's stories will include multiple condomless sex "slip-ups" that will NOT result in anyone becoming HIV positive.

 

That's more of a statistical thing, based on the chances that the persons having sex are positive, and if said person(s) are, what are the chances said person will become HIV positive. There are rarely absolutes in life; it is one long calculated risk.

[One Cheap Suit]

When you have a randy, sexual family, they are bound to leave a trail of genetic material in their wake.

The mental image I have of this doesn't have any people in it.

[KYE]

The casualty rates have been remarkably low so far. Still, in every story except "A Summer Love", "If if Fits", and "Bloodlines", someone has died. In Bloodlines, you could argue that point, and argue that Matthew Shepard was a character, but I think this should only apply to fictional characters.

 

 

Actually Mouse's death is described in Chapter 1 of "A Summer Love" which creates an opening for Marcel and JP, and Greg's death in a fit of rage in "If it Fits" with what follows is the major piece of the story. How could you over look Greg's surprise death in "If it Fits"? I wasn't counting Bloodlines, it had 2 "near" deaths but I also think Matthew Shepard's death should not count. So from my count 9 out of 10 (90%) has included death as part of the story.

Edited April 17, 2011 by KYE

[mmike1969]

14: Everyone is a pot head

[methodwriter85]

Mark, I'm not being a smart-ass. When have I ever been a smart-ass? You know what a sweet, modest, humble man I am. I'm just pointing out some beloved tropes of this well-loved online soap opera saga. There's no need to defend them, Mark.

 

Fourteen's debatable. Everyone smokes pot, but the only ones for whom it is a regular habit seems to be JP, Brad, Matt, and maybe Darius.

 

But that reminds me...

 

15. Despite all the drug and alcohol experimentation, no lead protagonist becomes an addict. You could argue this with Marcel having an o.d. in If It Fits, but it didn't come off as being a habit, more of just a really bad dosage. It's kinda surprising that none of the Hayes lead protagonists(Marcel, Matt, and Gathan) have any kind of addiction, considering that alcholism runs in the family, and Jeff was an heroin addict.

 

It WOULD actually be interesting to follow a protagonist who's addicted to something. I think JJ being addicted to painkillers after a skating accident in the Olympics would make a great '06 story.

[Mark Arbour]

Actually Mouse's death is described in Chapter 1 of "A Summer Love" which creates an opening for Marcel and JP, and Greg's death in a fit of rage in "If it Fits" with what follows is the major piece of the story. How could you over look Greg's surprise death in "If it Fits"? I wasn't counting Bloodlines, it had 2 "near" deaths but I also think Matthew Shepard's death should not count. So from my count 9 out of 10 (90%) has included death as part of the story.

 

Excellent points, and research. It seems you're right. Dead bodies in every story. Wonder who will bit it in this one.

 

 

14: Everyone is a pot head

 

That's because the author is a pot head.

 

Mark, I'm not being a smart-ass. When have I ever been a smart-ass? You know what a sweet, modest, humble man I am. I'm just pointing out some beloved tropes of this well-loved online soap opera saga. There's no need to defend them, Mark.

 

Fourteen's debatable. Everyone smokes pot, but the only ones for whom it is a regular habit seems to be JP, Brad, Matt, and maybe Darius.

 

But that reminds me...

 

15. Despite all the drug and alcohol experimentation, no lead protagonist becomes an addict. You could argue this with Marcel having an o.d. in If It Fits, but it didn't come off as being a habit, more of just a really bad dosage. It's kinda surprising that none of the Hayes lead protagonists(Marcel, Matt, and Gathan) have any kind of addiction, considering that alcholism runs in the family, and Jeff was an heroin addict.

 

It WOULD actually be interesting to follow a protagonist who's addicted to something. I think JJ being addicted to painkillers after a skating accident in the Olympics would make a great '06 story.

 

So Jeff doesn't count because it was heroin? What? Robbie had definite addiction problems with sex, or at least kink. Elizabeth Danfield is an alcoholic. But you're right, I haven't written many people in as drug addicts, primarily because they just smoke pot. The gateway theory is crap.

[methodwriter85]

Mark, the rule is that the LEAD protagonist can't be an addict. Jeff doesn't count because he was never a lead protagonist. It's just surprising that after following three genectic Hayes boys, the very strong alcoholic trait hasn't shown up in any of them.

 

But you're right, I haven't written many people in as drug addicts, primarily because they just smoke pot. The gateway theory is crap.

 

You're right about it being crap- I have a friend who was a pothead, and could experiment with coke, Special K, oxy, and other stuff and he never had a problem.

 

Drug addiction is pretty widespread, though. The best Gen 4 candidate I think to explore that with would be JJ- his personality just doesn't gibe with being a mellow pothead, and he's in a high-stakes environment where I could see him using drugs(behind tightly locked doors) to deal with it. At the very least I can see JJ experimenting with speed to stay up so he can practice longer hours. I could also see him really getting Oxy to deal with physical pain, and his vainglorious personality would really gibe well with cocaine.

Edited April 18, 2011 by methodwriter85

[B1ue]

Personally, I'd have to skip any story that featured a protagonist with a major drug problem. I would not find it, as was said, interesting. I barely get through the pot and ecstasy references with gritted teeth. In fact, I didn't make it through 1968, had to just skim the first couple and last couple of chapters so I could catch references in other books.

[methodwriter85]

Hmm. That's a good point- that while it would be interesting to some, it might not be appealing to others.

 

Do you think you can deal with references about kids snorting Adderall to stay up and study through finals week, though?

[B1ue]

If it wasn't Will or Gathan, I could probably handle it. Will doesn't seem the type to get excited by academic achievement. He seems more willing to just work as hard as he can, and get what he gets, without the need to win at it. Gathan though, Gathan might be more tempted. And we've already established him as damaged goods, so yeah. I could see him losing himself that way.

 

f**k. Now I'm sad.

[methodwriter85]

It's a BIG problem at University of Delaware. I've talked to alumni who are about Matt's age, and they mentioned how they knew people who were snorting adderall all the way back in the late '90s. If Adderall was widespread in a party school like UD, I can't help but imagine that it would be widespread in schools like Stanford. I tried Adderall once- it didn't do much for me, but for others it gets you really wired. Then again I didn't sniff it because this doctor I talk to online begged me not to do that.

 

My money would be on John being the one who gets hardcore about using Adderall to stay up and study. He's got Claire as mother and a doctor as a dad- I can't help but imagine that he's in the kind of world where you're expected to have a 5.0 GPA(bloated by all of the honors and AP classes), and I would also see him as being the type to really get obsessed with the idea of landing in a top Ivy League school, to achieve as much and more than what his father did.

 

For the most part, when you're talking about youth culture, you've got to include references to using drugs. Maybe we can't follow an addicted lead, but it would feel inauthentic for Gathan to go off to college and not know anybody who's using drugs, and hard-core ones at that. Special K and X are the drugs of choice at this time, correct?

 

Now back to the topic...lol...

 

This one's debatable because it's not spread throughout all of the stories, but...

 

16. Since 1995, every lead protagonist must have sex with Cody.

 

I feel it's inevitable that Gathan is going to have sex with Cody, and that Will is going to have sex with him circa 2004.

Edited April 18, 2011 by methodwriter85

[centexhairysub]

Now back to the topic...lol...

 

This one's debatable because it's not spread throughout all of the stories, but...

 

16. Since 1995, every lead protagonist must have sex with Cody.

 

I feel it's inevitable that Gathan is going to have sex with Cody, and that Will is going to have sex with him circa 2004.

 

 

You say this like it is a problem?

[methodwriter85]

I'm not particularly warm about Cody. However, I do recognize he has his fans. It's a "rule"; it's not necessarily a problem. We're just pointing out Mark's particularly well-used tropes in writing the CAP, ala the way in which the Scream series points out Horror Movie tropes.

Edited April 19, 2011 by methodwriter85

[mmike1969]

17. They can not be physically unfit and has played a sport or works out a lot (jockhead maybe but they are not in jock math)

 

18. If they ARE mentally unfit, they have issues hidden deep and will not be out in the open until Mark writes 3-4 chapters about it.

 

19. Cody will have sex with them w/o a condom at least twice. (Hell, just assume the character WILL have unprotected sex with at least two people)

 

20. There is a cliffhanger at the end of the chapter which brings us to the shocking part of...

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

.

Edited April 19, 2011 by mmike1969

[methodwriter85]

Neither JP nor Stefan seemed to have play sports, though. And we have seen physically unfit guys in the story- Greg in If It Fits, 1999 Nathan Hayes in The Box, and David Carmichael in Millenium. Matt also had sex with a paunchy middle-aged guy in Bloodlines, and Cole wasn't obese, but he wasn't exactly thin, either.

 

It seems like you've got, for the most part, two types in this story though- the jock and the bitchy or nerdy twink. With the exception of MiM Mouse, we don't really seem to see punks or guys who don't really fall into either of the categories. I'm still hoping that we'll start seeing skater/punk type guys getting into the story.

Edited April 19, 2011 by methodwriter85

[mmike1969]

Those who were not physically fit played a minor role.

 

We knew about Greg but we didn't KNOW Greg. We knew Stef's POV of Greg.

Same with David Carmichael. (This boy WILL have issues if we ever see him again!)

Same with Nathan.

Same with Cole. (oh look, issues that took several chapters to discuss )

[methodwriter85]

Well, duh, Mike, it's a soap opera. Of course the major players are always going to be cute/hot guys. What do you expect?

 

As for Cole, I remember that originally Cole was going to move back into his dorm at Stanford as soon as he got released from the hospital. I hit the roof about that one with Mark- there is NO way any university housing would allow a person who tried to commit suicide back into the dorm unless they've been through extensive therapy and can prove they're no longer a suicide threat.

 

We did learn about Gathan's issues within the first two chapters, though.

[B1ue]

It seems like you've got, for the most part, two types in this story though- the jock and the bitchy or nerdy twink. With the exception of MiM Mouse, we don't really seem to see punks or guys who don't really fall into either of the categories. I'm still hoping that we'll start seeing skater/punk type guys getting into the story.

 

Just checking, but does JJ count as both a jock AND a bitchy twink?

 

As for the skater/punk guy, what do you think Will is? He may not skate, yet, but it's coming.

[methodwriter85]

True, good point about Will. If he's moving to Palo Alto, skateboarding is going to be the next best thing.

 

And figure skating isn't exactly a "jock" sport. Some sports aren't really the jockly type- like I was in track and cross-country, and I never considered myself a jock.

[B1ue]

I was speaking more about his mentality towards his sport. One can play football for the fun of it, and I'd not consider them a jock. But someone who is totally dedicated to their sport, who lives and breathes it, then yeah, I'd consider them a jokc, even if they played something like golf.

[One Cheap Suit]

21. They will get high on a balcony or deck, and still have coherent conversations and not raid the kitchen.

 

...what?

Edited April 19, 2011 by bigdave976