Mark Arbour Posted June 19, 2011 Posted June 19, 2011 It's officially Father's Day here in the US. I'm lucky this year, as I'm actually visiting my father. I continue to be amazed at what a strong bond that is, the father-son bond, both when I experience it with my son, and when I experience it with my own father. There really isn't anything I wouldn't do for either of them. I know that not everyone has a positive father-son relationship (especially the ladies here ), but I hope that those of you that do truly take some time to enjoy it today. I hope that those of you who don't have a positive relationship will not give up hope, and not give up trying to have one. I find that the male students who seek out a more personal bond with me (I'm not talking about that kind of personal bond...I'm talking about a friendship/professional bond), where they are looking for guidance and approval, are often those men who have lost their fathers, or have terrible relationships with them. I think that paternal male bonding is such a strong, primal force within us, that when it is lacking, we seek surrogates. Maybe you can find a surrogate, or be one. Something to ponder. Have a great day!
Bumblebee Posted June 19, 2011 Posted June 19, 2011 Happy Fathers Day to you Mark and to all the other dad's on GA..... even though the REAL fathers day is in September
K.C. Posted June 19, 2011 Posted June 19, 2011 I don’t have a relationship with my father. He walked out on our mother when my brother and I were a few months old. He missed every important milestone in our lives: first tooth, driving car, graduation, weddings and kids. It was his choice, not to be part of our life. Now that I’m a father, his decision is even harder to understand. My kid is my universe. I can’t imagine missing a single moment of her life. My father taught me the kind of parent that I don’t want to be...I don't want to miss a single day of her life!
methodwriter85 Posted June 19, 2011 Posted June 19, 2011 I don't have a father, and I don't plan on becoming one, so Father's Day is somewhat meaningless to me. Still, it's great to see people who do have that kind of relationship with their dad. I find that the male students who seek out a more personal bond with me (I'm not talking about that kind of personal bond...I'm talking about a friendship/professional bond), where they are looking for guidance and approval, are often those men who have lost their fathers, or have terrible relationships with them I tried having you as a surrogate dad, but then I realized you were more like the zany young uncle I never had. You're a little too young to be a dad to me.
Mark Arbour Posted June 19, 2011 Author Posted June 19, 2011 I don’t have a relationship with my father. He walked out on our mother when my brother and I were a few months old. He missed every important milestone in our lives: first tooth, driving car, graduation, weddings and kids. It was his choice, not to be part of our life. Now that I’m a father, his decision is even harder to understand. My kid is my universe. I can’t imagine missing a single moment of her life. My father taught me the kind of parent that I don’t want to be...I don't want to miss a single day of her life! Sometimes we learn the most from our mistakes, or the mistakes of the people around us. I'm happy that you have such a good relationship with your daughter. That's awesome. I don't have a father, and I don't plan on becoming one, so Father's Day is somewhat meaningless to me. Still, it's great to see people who do have that kind of relationship with their dad. I tried having you as a surrogate dad, but then I realized you were more like the zany young uncle I never had. You're a little too young to be a dad to me. Yeah, the zany uncle that keeps wanting you to sit on his lap.
methodwriter85 Posted June 19, 2011 Posted June 19, 2011 Yeah, the zany uncle that keeps wanting you to sit on his lap. Well, yeah. That's so you can hear me better when we talk.
Bob1010 Posted June 21, 2011 Posted June 21, 2011 I did indeed have a great Father's Day with my son biking on a rail trail with lunch in Woods Hole. We had lots of opportunity for talking and joking. I had some difficulty in keeping up with his pace, but he went easy on me. He is in three spin classes a week.
Northern Dutch Guy Posted June 29, 2011 Posted June 29, 2011 You'll find you're dad (or someone who is looking for you and who completes your picture of him). Reach out ... I don't have a father, and I don't plan on becoming one, so Father's Day is somewhat meaningless to me. Still, it's great to see people who do have that kind of relationship with their dad. I tried having you as a surrogate dad, but then I realized you were more like the zany young uncle I never had. You're a little too young to be a dad to me.
Northern Dutch Guy Posted June 29, 2011 Posted June 29, 2011 yes, for a lot of people kids changes their thinking and behaviour. Even as a donor it changed my life and vision of life permanently. I don’t have a relationship with my father. He walked out on our mother when my brother and I were a few months old. He missed every important milestone in our lives: first tooth, driving car, graduation, weddings and kids. It was his choice, not to be part of our life. Now that I’m a father, his decision is even harder to understand. My kid is my universe. I can’t imagine missing a single moment of her life. My father taught me the kind of parent that I don’t want to be...I don't want to miss a single day of her life!
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