Jump to content
Sign in to follow this  
C James

Australia: Deadly Paradise.

Recommended Posts

Australia... the wondrous Land Down Under, is famous for many things, and I thought we should have a thread for them!

 

I'll start us off with a couple of links about Australia's wildlife...

 

Australia's seven deadliest creatures, from ABC news.

 

Australia, deadly paradise, from the BBC...

 

I especially love their title graphic for the story, with the face screaming in terror.

Posted Image

 

It fits well with this article, which declares that the primary spoken language is screaming.

 

This is why Australians are such fast swimmers and runners; any slow ones get eaten. :ph34r:

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

It fits well with this article, which declares that the primary spoken language is screaming.

Extract from "this article" link: "Australia is a dangerous place. I have to go there this November. I am afraid."

 

No worries for Trev 'n' Shane's safety then :)

 

Hang on a minute .....

Not content with your own continual and continuous and downright wicked cliffhangers :devil: you're now ramping up readers' anxieties that if Basingstoke doesn't get them (Trevor and / or Shane) then Oz's cute but deadly critters will :pissed:

 

And now, for your delectation, here are some delicious Ozzy gourmet goat recipes :)

 

http://www.outbackja...goatrecipe.html

Edited by Zombie

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I've seen shows on Animal Planet showing the deadliest creatures. There was one episode dedicated to Australia's top ten. If I remember correctly, there is at least one in the western part of the country where Trevor is.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Extract from "this article" link: "Australia is a dangerous place. I have to go there this November. I am afraid."

 

 

 

And now, for your delectation, here are some delicious Ozzy gourmet goat recipes :)

 

http://www.outbackja...goatrecipe.html

 

 

WARNING WARNING WARNING VEGEMITE

Posted ImagePosted ImagePosted Image

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Extract from "this article" link: "Australia is a dangerous place. I have to go there this November. I am afraid."

 

No worries for Trev 'n' Shane's safety then :)

 

Hang on a minute .....

Not content with your own continual and continuous and downright wicked cliffhangers :devil: you're now ramping up readers' anxieties that if Basingstoke doesn't get them (Trevor and / or Shane) then Oz's cute but deadly critters will :pissed:

 

And now, for your delectation, here are some delicious Ozzy gourmet goat recipes :)

 

http://www.outbackja...goatrecipe.html

 

ACK! :blink:

 

No worries for Trevor and Shane. Basingstoke might get eaten before he ever reaches them... especially if he goes to Tasmania! After all, even a killer-for-hire fears something far more deadly than himself. Tasmania is inhabited by Satan’s own spawn: the fearsome and utterly ferocious Tasmanian devil, and that accursed land is overrun by vicious, ravenous hordes of the screaming man-eating demons.

 

And then there's the issue of 9 of the world's 10 deadliest snakes being Australian... which is the same as for their spiders; most of the world's deadliest are Australian. :nuke:

 

Australia's dirty little secret is this; they encourage tourism because tourists tend to be slower runners than Australians, and the tourists give the wildlife something to eat. :ph34r:

 

I've seen shows on Animal Planet showing the deadliest creatures. There was one episode dedicated to Australia's top ten. If I remember correctly, there is at least one in the western part of the country where Trevor is.

 

Several, actually. Several kinds of snakes, stonefish, an array of deadly jellyfish, Great White sharks, etc... plus, the outback contains stalking horrors... just one of which is a giant monitor lizard, a cousin to the Komodo Dragon, called the Perentie (Varanus giganteus.) And giganteus it is! Over eight feet long, powerful, and fast runners. You don't have a chance of outrunning them to get away. Oh, and to make it even more scary, the perentie sometimes runs on just its back legs, so it's standing up!

 

There are other deadly creatures in that area of Western Australia... Echidnas, for just one... :ph34r:

 

WARNING WARNING WARNING VEGEMITE

Posted ImagePosted ImagePosted Image

 

Vegemite is tasty! :P

 

*****************************************

 

Okay, let's look at some of the truly fearsome creatures... we can start with the duck-billed-platypus, surely the strangest creature in existence. It is, of course, found only in Australia. 0:)

Posted Image

 

It has a bill like a duck, webbed feet, a tail like a beaver and a furry body like an otter. But, those are just the obvious strangenesses! It is one of only two kinds of mammal that lay eggs. It gets even stranger... there's a sense called electroreception, which is what sharks use to locate prey. It allows them to sense the tiny electrical fields produced by their victims' muscles and neural system. Guess what? Platypuses have that, too!

So, they can home in on their victims in just about any conditions. It's a good thing they aren't dangerous.. but wait, they are! This is Australia we're talking about, where most things that aren't venomous were driven to extinction by venomous things millennial ago. Yep, the platypus is venomous, just like a deadly snake. The males have a spur on each back leg for injecting venom, and the venom is not only deadly, but designed to induce as much pain as possible.

 

Even worse, Platypuses are masters of stealth, and so you may be right next to one and never see it. They inhabit water holes, creeks, and rivers throughout eastern Australia and Tasmania. :ph34r:

 

Wait, it gets scarier! The platypus only has one living relative; echidnas. Echidnas share many of the traits of the deadly platypus... including laying eggs. Echidnas, though land dwellers, share the platypuses' electroreception capability. No one is quite sure why, but it is know that they can sense all sorts of electrical fields. Come to think of it, this might make them very good with computers, which would explain Graeme. :ph34r:

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Cj, Cj, Cj.... the Echidna is one of the most friendly of Aussie wildlife you can find.. ;) Those deadly creatures in Australia have nothing to do with a certain peaceful species - Even the Platypus is only barbed if it is male, so.. and you can avoid more than 50% of those dangerous animals if people stay out and away from the water. ;) You also can't count the Great White Shark as a native Australian since they are found in the Mediteranian, South Africa, and the American Coasts as well. Factoring in that the Australian Dingo is a mere Coyote in comparison not a wolf, the Black widow is just as lurking and numerous as the Funnel Web, we have Cane Toads in America too... So what if Aussie creatures once they get hold of you are more deadly, there's only like two on your list that are common around homes and people. Eastern Brown and the Funnel Web Spider. To summarize, Australia is no less dangerous than anywhere else on this great planet.. ;)

 

BUT on the other hand, Goats with their horns are far deadlier and on CLIFFS of all things... Also, they've been known to climb and fall out of low branching trees on top of poor unsuspecting passers by.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Thanks for that, James. I laughed like a drain throughout that.

 

There's no getting away from it, Australia's a dangerous place! It's also an amazing place - as long as you've got a decent suit of armour, there's no reason not to visit, and it's well worth it. :2hands:

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

"I especially love their title graphic for the story, with the face screaming in terror."

"... even a killer-for-hire fears something far more deadly than himself"

 

Heheheh, reckon the wily old goat's giving us some teasing clues here. I can see it now - T+S being chased through the Outback and finally cornered with no hope of escape from their rapidly approaching doom only for their assailant to be thwarted at the last second by a toxic love-bite from some Aussie critter.

It's gonna have to be something that can deliver a horrible, agonising and violent death with the assailant screaming in prolonged agony so's CJ can describe their adversary's final, twitching death-throes in minute and loving detail :)

 

Hmmmmm, so which critters are in the frame?

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Heheheh, reckon the wily old goat's giving us some teasing clues here. I can see it now - T+S being chased through the Outback and finally cornered with no hope of escape from their rapidly approaching doom only for their assailant to be thwarted at the last second by a toxic love-bite from some Aussie critter.

It's gonna have to be something that can deliver a horrible, agonising and violent death with the assailant screaming in prolonged agony so's CJ can describe their adversary's final, twitching death-throes in minute and loving detail :)

 

Hmmmmm, so which critters are in the frame?

 

B)...................... Humm, I like that scenario, maybe that is why CJ made this thread!!!! I had only 2 more deaths from him occurring, maybe 3 with the hitman. ( Henry and Kline). Others to follow Bridget and George, (In case of a sequel then only George with Bridget on the loose).

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I had a chuckle at the thought of a "deadly" perentie attacking someone...

They are extremely quick on the run but let me assure you it's almost always in the opposite direction to humans.

They are like most of the other animals in Oz... Completely afraid of the worlds greatest predator, Homo Sapiens.

The coast of West Aus has a very nasty but beautiful little octopus that is pretty dangerous though.

Where I live the funnel web spider is common and it is VERY agressive. Its fangs have been known to pierce boot leather.

I'll have to avoid the two echidnas that live in my front yard from now on... I might get electrocuted ROFL :lmao:

Home sweet home :2thumbs:

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Cj, Cj, Cj.... the Echidna is one of the most friendly of Aussie wildlife you can find.. ;) Those deadly creatures in Australia have nothing to do with a certain peaceful species - Even the Platypus is only barbed if it is male, so.. and you can avoid more than 50% of those dangerous animals if people stay out and away from the water. ;) You also can't count the Great White Shark as a native Australian since they are found in the Mediteranian, South Africa, and the American Coasts as well. Factoring in that the Australian Dingo is a mere Coyote in comparison not a wolf, the Black widow is just as lurking and numerous as the Funnel Web, we have Cane Toads in America too... So what if Aussie creatures once they get hold of you are more deadly, there's only like two on your list that are common around homes and people. Eastern Brown and the Funnel Web Spider. To summarize, Australia is no less dangerous than anywhere else on this great planet.. ;)

 

BUT on the other hand, Goats with their horns are far deadlier and on CLIFFS of all things... Also, they've been known to climb and fall out of low branching trees on top of poor unsuspecting passers by.

 

Krista! A walking pincushion that his scimitar-like claws is not my idea of friendly! It is always wise to fear echidnas (especially ones named Graeme).

 

Wolves and coyotes are no problem at all. Coyotes very rarely kill full-grown adult humans (I can only think of one recent case) though they are known to kill small children fairly often. I have coyotes on my property, and they come around almost every night. They aren't a worry, and they have nowhere near the fearsome reputation of dingos.

 

I have also seen, from my house, mountain lions, black bears, elk, and javalina (wild boars that run in big packs). I've been stalked by a mountain lion while hiking, too. (a few aimed near-misses from my gun solved that problem). I see snakes a lot, once a week or so, but about half are harmless, and the rest are only rattlesnakes. I've only been bitten by a rattler once, and I hike a lot, so they aren't actually very dangerous - it's quite rare for an adult to die from a bite. Black widow spiders are endemic here (I keep sweeping them out of my garage; they are far harder to kill with sprays than most spiders) and I get a lot of tarantulas the size of your hand, but the latter are totally harmless unless you pick them up, in which case they can bite, which is about as bad as a bee sting. We have scorpions here too (at lower altitudes than my house, though in the area), and those stings hurt like hell (I know this the hard way) and we also have six to seven inch long centipedes that have a painful, venomous sting (and those damn things are always coming in my house).

 

So, all in all, nothing to be concerned about, but I live in Arizona, not Australia! Why, in this very thread, you'll see Winemaker admit that he has actual echidnas in his garden!!! :blink:

 

 

From the comments in the thread, this sounds good! I'll have a look the next time I'm on a PC that can view vids.

:)

 

Thanks for that, James. I laughed like a drain throughout that.

 

There's no getting away from it, Australia's a dangerous place! It's also an amazing place - as long as you've got a decent suit of armour, there's no reason not to visit, and it's well worth it. :2hands:

 

I hear that if you wear armor, and spend the nigh in an armored underground bunker, you can survive most of Australia's wildlife.

 

Totally agreed that Australia is well worth a visit! It's an awesome and beautiful place. :2thumbs:

 

Heheheh, reckon the wily old goat's giving us some teasing clues here. I can see it now - T+S being chased through the Outback and finally cornered with no hope of escape from their rapidly approaching doom only for their assailant to be thwarted at the last second by a toxic love-bite from some Aussie critter.

It's gonna have to be something that can deliver a horrible, agonising and violent death with the assailant screaming in prolonged agony so's CJ can describe their adversary's final, twitching death-throes in minute and loving detail :)

 

Hmmmmm, so which critters are in the frame?

 

Would I do such a thing as that? 0:)

 

B)...................... Humm, I like that scenario, maybe that is why CJ made this thread!!!! I had only 2 more deaths from him occurring, maybe 3 with the hitman. ( Henry and Kline). Others to follow Bridget and George, (In case of a sequel then only George with Bridget on the loose).

 

Hrmm, let's not forget the horrors lurking in Australia's north... saltwater crocodiles, that are enormous and aggressive. (they get well over 20 feet long!!!)

 

 

I had a chuckle at the thought of a "deadly" perentie attacking someone...

They are extremely quick on the run but let me assure you it's almost always in the opposite direction to humans.

They are like most of the other animals in Oz... Completely afraid of the worlds greatest predator, Homo Sapiens.

The coast of West Aus has a very nasty but beautiful little octopus that is pretty dangerous though.

Where I live the funnel web spider is common and it is VERY agressive. Its fangs have been known to pierce boot leather.

I'll have to avoid the two echidnas that live in my front yard from now on... I might get electrocuted ROFL :lmao:

Home sweet home :2thumbs:

 

I didn't say the perentie was deadly to humans... its deadly to things like mice, though. 0:)

 

The entire Aussie coast has the blue-ringed octopus, which is truly deadly (though tiny, each one has enough venom to kill about 25 humans). That venom is so nasty that there's no known antivenom, and a lot of people stung don't survive. There are also a host of deadly jellyfish in many areas... and let's not forget the salty croc!

 

the funnel web spider... yipes!!! Those things can even swim...

 

BTW, the echidnas' electrosense is real; they really can home in on prey via the minute electrical emissions it gives off, just like sharks or platipuses.

 

Echidnas, in your yard!?!? Yipes!! You really ought to fortify your house... echidnas are almost as dangerous as the dreaded wombat, as I recall....

 

Oh, and now for some nightmare fuel; a spider so enormous and deadly that it catches large birds in its web, and then eats them!!

 

Posted Image

 

Where? Australia! (Queensland, in this case).

 

:ph34r:

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Mountain Lion, enough said; Cliffhanger James. ;)

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Mountain Lion, enough said; Cliffhanger James. ;)

 

I live in the high mountains, well away from the nearest town, but I never go near cliffs!!!

 

Mountain lions are just big kitty cats; they haven't killed an adult human in these parts in years. The most recent attack on an adult that I know of was last year, a few miles from me, on a guy working in his backyard. He spotted the cat watching him, and made the classic mistake; he ran. Never do that; it invites attack. He survived with minot injuries, because he was able to roll under a truck and the cat hit its head on the hitch.

 

I see them only rarely, but in the winter I see their tracks in the snow around my house all the time. (they mainly hunt at night, and I live beside a game trail).

 

One thing you never see here; domestic dogs and cats roaming around outside or in fenced yards: Due to coyotes and mountain lions, any accessible dog or cat fast becomes lunch.

 

BTW, here's an interesting insect from the area; the tarantula hawk wasp, which preys on tarantulas.

Posted Image

I'll assume that's a dead one, because they reportedly have the most painful sting of any insect.

They rarely sting humans (mainly when handled) but they are creepy in another way; they reproduce kind of like the alien in "aliens". They paralyze a tarantula with their venom, drag it into a nest, lay eggs in the tarantula, and then seal the nest. The larvae then eat the paralyzed tarantula alive, over about a month, and then burst forth, alien-style, killing the tarantula. I see these wasps a lot and their wings are like jewels, a translucent reddish orange.

 

Okay, now back to the terrifying wildlife of Australia;

Posted Image

That spider, BTW, is the dreaded Australian Huntsman spider, and they do get that big (close to a foot across!). They are also noted for their habit of coming into houses, and are nightmarishly fast. Most Australians have a personal scary huntsman spider story to tell; it's very widespread.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Okay, now back to the terrifying wildlife of Australia;

Posted Image

That spider, BTW, is the dreaded Australian Huntsman spider, and they do get that big (close to a foot across!). They are also noted for their habit of coming into houses, and are nightmarishly fast. Most Australians have a personal scary huntsman spider story to tell; it's very widespread.

 

 

*CRAPS PANTS & FAINTS*

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Hrmm, let's not forget the horrors lurking in Australia's north... saltwater crocodiles, that are enormous and aggressive. (they get well over 20 feet long!!!)

According to Wiki, individual salties can roam "thousands of miles from their native territory":

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Saltwater_crocodile#Distribution

 

Yikes, according to this site salties have been seen as far south as Carnarvon:

http://www.environment.gov.au/cgi-bin/sprat/public/publicspecies.pl?taxon_id=1774#australian_distribution

 

So, yeah, it's a definite possibility that Basingstoke, at the very moment of triumph over Trevor, will be snatched into a salty's jaws of death, shrieking in blood-curdling terror at the sudden realisation he has utterly failed, and that his miserable life is about to be crushed and ripped from his broken body with more brutal violence and agony than the collective suffering inflicted on every one of his and Sanchez's previous victims. And all lovingly described in glorious CJ HorrorVision © :)

 

 

 

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

According to Wiki, individual salties can roam "thousands of miles from their native territory":

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Saltwater_crocodile#Distribution

 

Yikes, according to this site salties have been seen as far south as Carnarvon:

http://www.environment.gov.au/cgi-bin/sprat/public/publicspecies.pl?taxon_id=1774#australian_distribution

 

So, yeah, it's a definite possibility that Basingstoke, at the very moment of triumph over Trevor, will be snatched into a salty's jaws of death, shrieking in blood-curdling terror at the sudden realisation he has utterly failed, and that his miserable life is about to be crushed and ripped from his broken body with more brutal violence and agony than the collective suffering inflicted on every one of his and Sanchez's previous victims. And all lovingly described in glorious CJ HorrorVision © :)

I love it!

 

Colin B)

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

To all Aussie readers: enjoy gayauthors.com while you still can Posted Image

 

https://wiki.smu.edu.sg/digitalmediaasia/Digital_Media_in_Australia#What_is_prohibited_online_content.3F:

 

Australian Internet

 

The Australian Communications and Media Authority (ACMA) takes the approach of co-regulatory scheme for online content ... Under this scheme, all contents in the World Wide Web sites ... are monitored ... Bloggers or forum owners who allow users to comment or post could find themselves blocked under this proposal should someone say or post the wrong thing.

 

In November 2007, the Australian Government announced their plans to roll out an internet filtering program, known as the "Clean Feed" ... Originally, the plan was to allow adults to opt-out of the program. However, in May 2008, the Government started an $82 million "cybersafety plan", which included an additional mandatory filter with no opt-out provision, applicable to all computers ... The government ... list ...is not available to the public ... critics worry about the lack of transparency ...

 

The obligatory filter, if implemented, would make Australia one of the strictest democracies as far as Internet regulation goes. The Australian communications regulator says it will fine people who hyperlink to sites on its blacklist, which has been further expanded to include several pages on the anonymous whistle blower site WikiLeaks ...

 

Controversies

... The controversy started with the leak of an earlier version of the Government’s top-secret list of banned sites in March 2009, revealing that ... sites on the list ... included ... regular gay ... sites ...

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

the Black widow is just as lurking and numerous as the Funnel Web,

BUT on the other hand, Goats with their horns are far deadlier and on CLIFFS of all things... Also, they've been known to climb and fall out of low branching trees on top of poor unsuspecting passers by.

 

we have red back spiders ( you call them black widows) and white point spiders, those things are fearless beasts and should be squashed at first sight.

huntsman spiders are cute and cuddly pets, you shouldn't hesitate in giving one to a small child as a unique pet.

 

http://www.australianfauna.com/tigersnake.php < we have these hanging around the place, as well as dugites (very very common here)

 

wouldnt mind a swim to cool off on a hot australian summers day?

notice how you mainly see tourists at certain places on the beach? might be cause of the rips that drag you out to sea and could drown you very quickly if you fight the current and try to swim to shore, you could just let it drag you out to sea, but then watch out for the sharks, stingrays and jellyfish.

 

and lucky for you CJ, the kiwis dont have sex with goats :PPosted Image

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

To all Aussie readers: enjoy gayauthors.com while you still can Posted Image

 

https://wiki.smu.edu...ine_content.3F:

 

Australian Internet

 

The Australian Communications and Media Authority (ACMA) takes the approach of co-regulatory scheme for online content ... Under this scheme, all contents in the World Wide Web sites ... are monitored ... Bloggers or forum owners who allow users to comment or post could find themselves blocked under this proposal should someone say or post the wrong thing.

 

In November 2007, the Australian Government announced their plans to roll out an internet filtering program, known as the "Clean Feed" ... Originally, the plan was to allow adults to opt-out of the program. However, in May 2008, the Government started an $82 million "cybersafety plan", which included an additional mandatory filter with no opt-out provision, applicable to all computers ... The government ... list ...is not available to the public ... critics worry about the lack of transparency ...

 

The obligatory filter, if implemented, would make Australia one of the strictest democracies as far as Internet regulation goes. The Australian communications regulator says it will fine people who hyperlink to sites on its blacklist, which has been further expanded to include several pages on the anonymous whistle blower site WikiLeaks ...

 

Controversies

... The controversy started with the leak of an earlier version of the Government’s top-secret list of banned sites in March 2009, revealing that ... sites on the list ... included ... regular gay ... sites ...

 

I've heard of this before, but it's getting worse. Posted Image

 

This is the problem with censorship; even when implemented for supposedly good intentions, it becomes a creeping disease.

I love Australia, and I'n not trying to be nationalistic here (I freely admit that my own government here in the US is prone to the same sort of fascist nannystatisim when it can get away with it) but this sort of thing needs to be fought.

 

This is why I oppose laws against anti-gay hate speech. Yes, I will stand up for the inalienable right of a homophobe to spout vile things about me. What was true two hundred years ago is true today; I may detest what you say, but I will defend your right to say it.

The reason is the old slippery slope; if they take away one person's rights, they'll soon come for mine.

 

Caveat: I am not well-versed in the subject of Australian net censorship, so please take whatever I say on the matter with a large grain of salt and in the spirit it's intended; as a gesture of concern for a nation and people I highly regard..

 

 

we have red back spiders ( you call them black widows) and white point spiders, those things are fearless beasts and should be squashed at first sight.

huntsman spiders are cute and cuddly pets, you shouldn't hesitate in giving one to a small child as a unique pet.

 

http://www.australia.../tigersnake.php < we have these hanging around the place, as well as dugites (very very common here)

 

wouldnt mind a swim to cool off on a hot australian summers day?

notice how you mainly see tourists at certain places on the beach? might be cause of the rips that drag you out to sea and could drown you very quickly if you fight the current and try to swim to shore, you could just let it drag you out to sea, but then watch out for the sharks, stingrays and jellyfish.

 

and lucky for you CJ, the kiwis dont have sex with goats Posted Image Posted Image

 

Rip tides aren't a worry; lots of places have them. Surfers are fond of them; it makes paddling out past a break easier. Now, as for your sharks, stingrays, and jellyfish, yipes!!! Well, hrmm, I think the US has more shark attacks than you do, so... shark attacks aren't really that much of a problem, but your jellyfish and other sea critters... like the blue ring octopus, YIPES!!! Is it safe to even look at the sea, let alone go in it???

 

Black widows aren't a real problem, I have loads of them here. I'm forever sweeping the pests out of my garage. The funnel web spider, on the other hand, yipes!!! I'm amazed Sydney hasn't had to be evacuated. Scary, and very aggressive!

 

And let it not be forgotten: Wombats! Very scary! The worst I've ever had at my house... toss up between a mountian lion and a black bear. But in some parts of australia, you have to worry about wombats!

 

Huntsman spiders as PEtS!?!?!?! Yipes!!! I would think that, upon sighting a huntsman, a calm, reasoned response would be to run away, screaming in terror!

Posted Image

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

My 3/4 acre block of land, set by the mountains to the east of Melbourne, is constantly under attack from vicious Aussie wildlife.

Those menacing monotreme mammals, the echidnas, visit regularly, eliciting gasps of amazement at those earthmoving claws and fearsome spines.

The red-back spiders lurk outside in hidden nooks and crannies, beneath planks of wood and under the toilet seats.

The tiger snake, coming fourth in rank of the most poisonous snakes in the world (behind three other Aussie species), rests, basking in the sun in a deadly coil, in the veggie patch.

Huntsman spiders abound, scuttling across the walls and ceilings in the dark, freezing motionlesss like a statue of horror personified the moment the lights are turned on. On one occasion a huntsman lost his footing and fell on my face when I was lying in my bed. (I prefer not to think it was a planned attack.) Beware the female when she is guarding her egg sacs or young.

The white tailed spiders vie with the red-backs for living space, though they do prefer the warmer conditions inside the house.

The domestic chickens regularly have a head dismembered and steaming entrails removed by the goshawk stooping like a bolt of lightning from the sky.

The platypus I saw swimming in a run-off drain in the main street was, according to the people at the sanctuary in the town where they actually breed these iconoclasms of nature, most likely a young male on the prowl. - Yes, the one with the venomous spur, -right in the busy population center.

While having a family barbecue in the local tourist park my young niece ran screaming that there was a MONSTER in the bush by the picnic table. A 6 foot lace goanna meandered close and, it's poweful claws glistening with menace, proceded to crush chop bones as if they were fragile eggshells,

Each morning I wake to the hysterical laughter of kamikaze kookaburras and later in the day I watch behind the safety of my kitchen window as they dive for prey then devour the live, wriggling flesh.

And 50,000 of the deadliest creature in Australia. the European Honey Bee which kills on avereage 10 people per year in this country alone, live with implacable intensity of purpose just 8 metres from my kitchen door.

Why, oh why, have I lived in this beautiful deadly place for the last 24 years?

  • Like 1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Dump the first sentence and this is a pure poem of horror Posted Image

"Scuttling" - great word.  So much better than the anaemic "scurrying"

So then ..... Why?

  • Like 1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

My 3/4 acre block of land, set by the mountains to the east of Melbourne, is constantly under attack from vicious Aussie wildlife.

Those menacing monotreme mammals, the echidnas, visit regularly, eliciting gasps of amazement at those earthmoving claws and fearsome spines.

The red-back spiders lurk outside in hidden nooks and crannies, beneath planks of wood and under the toilet seats.

The tiger snake, coming fourth in rank of the most poisonous snakes in the world (behind three other Aussie species), rests, basking in the sun in a deadly coil, in the veggie patch.

Huntsman spiders abound, scuttling across the walls and ceilings in the dark, freezing motionlesss like a statue of horror personified the moment the lights are turned on. On one occasion a huntsman lost his footing and fell on my face when I was lying in my bed. (I prefer not to think it was a planned attack.) Beware the female when she is guarding her egg sacs or young.

The white tailed spiders vie with the red-backs for living space, though they do prefer the warmer conditions inside the house.

The domestic chickens regularly have a head dismembered and steaming entrails removed by the goshawk stooping like a bolt of lightning from the sky.

The platypus I saw swimming in a run-off drain in the main street was, according to the people at the sanctuary in the town where they actually breed these iconoclasms of nature, most likely a young male on the prowl. - Yes, the one with the venomous spur, -right in the busy population center.

While having a family barbecue in the local tourist park my young niece ran screaming that there was a MONSTER in the bush by the picnic table. A 6 foot lace goanna meandered close and, it's poweful claws glistening with menace, proceded to crush chop bones as if they were fragile eggshells,

Each morning I wake to the hysterical laughter of kamikaze kookaburras and later in the day I watch behind the safety of my kitchen window as they dive for prey then devour the live, wriggling flesh.

And 50,000 of the deadliest creature in Australia. the European Honey Bee which kills on avereage 10 people per year in this country alone, live with implacable intensity of purpose just 8 metres from my kitchen door.

Why, oh why, have I lived in this beautiful deadly place for the last 24 years?

 

Echidnas? YIPES!!! Very, very dangerous creatures... I've heard they are mainly active at night, so does that mean its safe to go outside in daylight?

 

I'm in a very rural area, high in the mountains, so I get a fair amount of wildlife, including the occasional black bear or mountain lion, but I don't see them all that often, and there's nothing as downright terrifying as an echidna! I hope your home is well-fortified, with at least a couple of feet of concrete and steel in the walls.

 

The only time big predators are a real concern (otherwise, they very rarely kill and eat people) is when they get rabies (which is endemic here). They become rather a problem, like charging into bars and tearing up the place (and the people inside). Here's one that happened in Cottonwood, not far from me.

 

HEre's a quote from the end of the article, that compares it to the far more deadly and fearsome Tasmanian devil;

"They likened it to the Tasmanian Devil," Mocarski related. He recalled an incident on Mingus Mountain northeast of Prescott Valley several years ago, when a bobcat tried to dig through a camp building to get at some people.

That building, BTW, is built out of logs.

We've had rabid mountian lions in the area, though rarely. Get a lot of rabid coyotes though.

 

Huntsmen spiders? GAH! RUN!!!! I think what you experienced was a pre-planned attack! They are known for chasing people out of homes... All we get here that big are tarantulas, but they are slow and harmless, as long as they don't bite you.

 

Tiger snakes? Yipes!!! Very deadly... I get a lot of rattlers (rattlesnakes) here, and I've been bitten once, but rattlers are nowhere near as dangerous as tiger snakes!!!

 

And uhoh, a platypus, right in town? Did they evacuate the town??? The good news, I suppose, is that most people can outrun a platypus. I'm beginning to understand why Australians do so well at track and field events; slow Australians get eaten, so it's a kind of natural selection thing...

 

And a monstrous bone-crushing goanna??? RUN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! However, I've heard those are pretty fast, so running may be futile...

 

Honey bees? Those can be dangerous... if you're allergic. Or, if they happen to be refugees from an experiment gone bad in Brazil, creating a hyper-aggressive strain that attack en mass, even far from the hive, killing victims via thousands of stings. They are called africanized bees, or more commonly killer bees. For those, you need to run half a mile or so to get away, and don't bother diving into water to escape; they just wait for you to come up.

 

And, if you're in Victoria, you have other deadly menaces to worry about! Wombats, for one...

  • Like 1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now
Sign in to follow this  

×
×
  • Create New...

Important Information

Our Privacy Policy can be found here. We have placed cookies on your device to help make this website better. You can adjust your cookie settings, otherwise we'll assume you're okay to continue..