Spiders

[Bill W]

58 minutes ago, sandrewn said:

 

 

I take it the spider must have been in the glass, so you probably drowned it when you filled the glass with water.  I'm just wondering why all of those colored markers are there.  Was the spider hoping to attack the person coming down to make a colorful sign or a drawing?  If it was, then it must have been the notorious rainbow attack spider.  

[sandrewn]

Ogre-Faced Spider

 

The net-casting spider or ogre-faced spider is a creature with one of the best low-light vision in the world due to a pair of hind eyes that have an aperture of F.58 and a very delicate light-sensitive retina. Their eyes have no irises and therefore the sunlight destroys their sensitive retina every single morning only for it to be regrown in the evening.

How spiders see the world - The Australian Museum

 

[Bill W]

7 hours ago, sandrewn said:

Ogre-Faced Spider

 

The net-casting spider or ogre-faced spider is a creature with one of the best low-light vision in the world due to a pair of hind eyes that have an aperture of F.58 and a very delicate light-sensitive retina. Their eyes have no irises and therefore the sunlight destroys their sensitive retina every single morning only for it to be regrown in the evening.

How spiders see the world - The Australian Museum

 

Who says there aren't space aliens living among us.  After looking at this spider, as well as the octopus and squid, it should give you pause to reconsider. 

[Zombie]

12 hours ago, sandrewn said:

Ogre-Faced Spider The net-casting spider or ogre-faced spider is a creature with one of the best low-light vision in the world due to a pair of hind eyes that have an aperture of F.58 and a very delicate light-sensitive retina. Their eyes have no irises and therefore the sunlight destroys their sensitive retina every single morning only for it to be regrown in the evening.

something else that’s not on the Australian Tourist Board website

strange that…  

[sandrewn]

 

1 hour ago, Zombie said:

something else that’s not on the Australian Tourist Board website

strange that…  

 

Which goes to prove two (2) things:

1 - That not all government officials are idiots.

2 - That someone on the Australian Tourist Board was smart enough to realize that having to preface a tourist blurb with a  'Not for the faint of heart' would be counter productive to the stated aim of the board.

 

[sandrewn]

 

No sense of humor if you ask me. Mind you, if it had been me, I might not be among the living right now.

[Bill W]

36 minutes ago, sandrewn said:

 

No sense of humor if you ask me. Mind you, if it had been me, I might not be among the living right now.

I'd consider that grounds for a divorce, if that was his wife peeking out from behind the sofa.  If it was his daughter, then she'd receive a lifetime grounding.  

Edited February 1, 2023 by Bill W

[sandrewn]

 

 

I'm torn oh which to cheer for. Mutual destruction perhaps?

 

[Bill W]

1 hour ago, sandrewn said:

 

 

I'm torn oh which to cheer for. Mutual destruction perhaps?

 

I'll root for the praying mantis.

[sandrewn]

 

 

 

[Bill W]

17 minutes ago, sandrewn said:

 

 

 

Is that woman nuts or is she the mother of all spiders? 

Personally, I'd put my faith in birds, rather than frongs.  

[sandrewn]

 

 

[sandrewn]

 

 

Edited February 5, 2023 by sandrewn

[wildone]

On 1/13/2023 at 10:42 PM, sandrewn said:

 

 

 

I can't help but wonder if @Drew Espinosa was a spider, would he be the one on the right?  

On 1/29/2023 at 11:40 PM, Bill W said:

I take it the spider must have been in the glass, so you probably drowned it when you filled the glass with water.  I'm just wondering why all of those colored markers are there.  Was the spider hoping to attack the person coming down to make a colorful sign or a drawing?  If it was, then it must have been the notorious rainbow attack spider.  

I may be wrong, as I don't use em, but the coloured things I think are vape pens. Not a bad defense, smoke the damn spiders out of the room  

[Zombie]

They’re highlighter pens

this is a combo pen designed for spiders

[sandrewn]

 

 

[Bill W]

1 hour ago, sandrewn said:

 

 

Would I be able to do that to the duplex where I live or would my landlord get mad? 😈

[Zombie]

If you have a “pet” spider I suggest you tag it  

before it escapes (which it will)

[sandrewn]

 

 

Edited February 7, 2023 by sandrewn

[sandrewn]

Two caterpillars are escaping a spider...

They climb up a small branch and get to the edge, but realize they are now trapped.

"Hold on tight!" says the first caterpillar, and he quickly chews through the branch. It snaps and they begin to fall, but he grabs two protruding twigs and steers the branch through the air with grace and finesse.

"That's amazing!" says the second caterpillar. "How are you doing that?!"

The first caterpillar scoffs. "Am I the *only one* in the whole damn forest who knows how to drive a stick?"

 

What’s worse than a box of spiders?

A box that was meant to be full of spiders.

 

My son asked me, "What happens to the spiders that gets hoovered up?"

"They Dyson."

 

What do you call pants made for a German spider?

Schpiderhosen

 

What do you call an arachnid that constantly complains about its allergies?

Itchy bitchy spider

 

What do you call a spider with 20 eyes?

Spiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiider

 

 

Edited February 8, 2023 by sandrewn

[wildone]

15 minutes ago, sandrewn said:

[LONG] The priest and the half lemon.

A priest was sent out to a rural village because the old priest has passed away. He meets the local people, they all get to know each other. His first mass goes well, but after the ceremony a slim man in poor clothing approaches the priest and says:

\- Excuse me father, be kind, and please give me a half lemon.

The priest was kind, and he gave him a half lemon. But when he asked the man why he needs it, the slim man looked shocked and ran away in sheer panic. The priest thought it was weird, and proceeded with his day.

A week later after the mass, the same man asked the priest to be kind and give him a half lemon. The priest was kind and gave him a half lemon.

\- Please, kind Sir, don't be afraid - said the priest - you can tell me why you need a half lemon.

The man panicked again and ran away, but this time, the priest ran after him. They ran a mile when the priest couldn't catch up with him, so he decided to do some excercise for a week to build some cardio. To be sure he even bought running shoes.

A week later the same happened. Slim man told the priesd to be kind and give him a half lemon. The priest thought to ask him first, but he didn't want to anger the man, he must have his reasons. He was kind, and gave him a half lemon. After asking the man ran away as before. But this time, the priest was prepared and he followed the man. After a few miles, the man reached a river, jumped in, and swam to the other side. The priest didn't want to get wet, so he gave up the chase. He bought a boat and hid it nearby.

On the next week, the man approached the priest:

\- Excuse me father, be kind, and please give me a half lemon.

The priest was kind and he gave the half lemon.

\- Here you go, but for the love of God, tell me, what do you need the half lemon for?

The slim man ran away, the priest went after him. He followed the man, when the man jumped in the river, the priest jumped into his boat and rowed to the other side. They ran uphill to a mountain, where the man started climbing the cliff wall without gear like a spider. The priest stared, and tried to follow him by sight. He tried to find a passage but couldn't find one. He decided to head back home and bought some climbing gear. He took cliff climbing lessons, even practiced on the same cliff in the hope to see the man, but he never did.

After the next mass the man approached him again:

\- Excuse me father, be kind, and please give me a half lemon.

The priest was kind and he gave the man a half lemon. He asked why he needs it, to which the man ran away. The priest ran after him, the man jumped in the river, the priest rowed to the other side. They ran some more, and the man started to climb the cliff. The priest took his climbing gear out of the bushes, and started to climb after the man. He was slower than him, but managed to reach the top. He started to look after the man, but he lost sight. He was about to give up when he noticed an old wooden door behind a boulder. The priest opened the door, and saw faint lights in the end of a tunnel. He followed the light and lo and behold, the slim man was sitting at a table with a candle on it.

\- All right - said the priest - enough is enough! For the love of God and all that is Holy, be brave, and tell me why you need that half lemon every week!

\- Okay, okay - said the slim man - I am cornered! You win! I tell you why I need the half lemon, but please, father! Be kind, and don't tell anyone!

And the priest was kind, and he didn't tell anyone.

 

 

Now just where was that ‘ban sandrewn’s account’ button.

[Zombie]

[sandrewn]

4 hours ago, Zombie said:

@Zombie

When I press on what you typed, I get nothing????

----------------------------------

 

[Zombie]

3 hours ago, sandrewn said:

@Zombie

When I press on what you typed, I get nothing????

this is the URL for the embedded pic which should work in any browser (not sure why yours didn’t display)

https://pbs.twimg.com/media/EdO58hyXkAAuqMY.png

[Bill W]

12 hours ago, Zombie said:

I would immediately change to a new doctor.