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Poetry Prompt 12 – Rondo


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Hmm, not sure if this is exactly right, is it strong enough, emotional enough to be a Rondo? Or, do I need to go back to the drawing board? ... this was inspired by the final scenes in the last film in the Lord of the Ring Trilogy, Return of the King. Frodo, now drained by the effects of his journey, his never-healing injury, and the Ring says farewell to his friends and sails to the Undying Lands, with Bilbo, Elrond, and Gandalf.  I guess this is sort of Frodo's task in a nutshell:

 

A journey long, so far from home,

where danger lies at every turn;

though many offered in my place,

the burden was mine to carry.

 

Afraid was I of failing, but 

more for our sweet world if I did;

the route over mountains tested,

but my mission I did fulfill.

 

The cost—a high and painful one

though our world was righted again—

in peace I took quiet leave, and

sailed to a tranquil life with friends.

 

 

 

 

Or this one with 9 syllables rather then 8 and a little changed:

 

 

Saying farewell to dear companions

leaves a weary heart, a saddened soul
but our journey together must end
this night on this darkened lonely dock.
 
Each one of them offered to carry
the heavy burden that was mine, on 
the journey long, so far from our home
and where danger lay at every turn.
 
The cost was a high and painful one
but now our world was righted again—
so in peace I took quiet leave, and
we sailed to a tranquil life with friends.
 
 
Think I prefer the first one ... 

 

I like both of them, but feel the original is stronger.

 

So, in terms of what a Rondò needs to offer a composer, it's a structure where a lengthy (and meaty) pair of quatrains can support slow, weighty music. The third quatrain offers relief, either an emotional brightening or darkening, or a completely new idea – the main thing is that the music is faster than the start.

 

So with your scene, I wonder if you might consider moving the middle quatrain to the end. That may be better suited to the composer's task. What do you think?

 

Thanks for taking the poetry prompt challenge!

Edited by AC Benus
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I like both of them, but feel the original is stronger.

 

So, in terms of what a Rondò needs to offer a composer, it's a structure where a lengthy (and meaty) pair of quatrains can be support slow, weighty music. The third quatrain offers relief, either an emotional brightening or darkening, or a completely idea – the main thing is that the music is faster than at the start.

 

So with your scene, I wonder if you might consider moving the middle quatrain to the end. That may be better suited to the composer's task. What do you think?

 

Thanks for taking the poetry prompt challenge!

Thanks AC.. Let's see:

 

 

A journey long, so far from home,

where danger lies at every turn;

though many offered in my place,

the burden was mine to carry.

 

The cost—a high and painful one

though our world was righted again—

in peace I took quiet leave, and

sailed to a tranquil life with friends.

 

Afraid was I of failing, but 

more for our sweet world if I did;

the route over mountains tested,

but my mission was fulfilled.

Edited by Mikiesboy
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Thanks AC.. Let's see:

 

 

A journey long, so far from home,

where danger lies at every turn;

though many offered in my place,

the burden was mine to carry.

 

The cost—a high and painful one

though our world was righted again—

in peace I took quiet leave, and

sailed to a tranquil life with friends.

 

Afraid was I of failing, but 

more for our sweet world if I did;

the route over mountains tested,

but my mission was fulfilled.

Yes. Do you think it works better? I do

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I read this and must admit I can't seem to see what the change made does to improve the work. Maybe because for me it seems out of sequence now. This is the sort of thing that has always made me feel inadequate/unable to write poetry. This by the way is in no way intended as criticism. I just don't get it, sorry.

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I read this and must admit I can't seem to see what the change made does to improve the work. Maybe because for me it seems out of sequence now. This is the sort of thing that has always made me feel inadequate/unable to write poetry. This by the way is in no way intended as criticism. I just don't get it, sorry.

dugh, really you are too hard on yourself. When i first looked at one of AC's prompts, i believe it was the Ballade or something, I thought OMGFG I will never be able to write these. but as i did the prompts in order.. and AC can tell you how long it took me to 'get' meter... i got it, now i cant get rid of it.  

 

And dugh, no one says you have to write anything other than what you like. If you like haiku and if never want to write anything else, why should you?  I want to try them all.. but that's me. so i started at 1 and am working through them. 

 

I'm not thrilled this poem... I understand what it should be... will i ever be great at them.. mmm probably not. But i want to try, for me.  Will i ever write sonnets like AC and Parker... hell no but I'm not AC or Parker.

 

Will i ever write cinquains like you...hell no, because i'm not you. 

 

Do what works for you... that's a beautiful thing.   If you feel like trying one of the others.. start with meter.. cuz that's the biggie.   

 

We only go around once and if you try and fail... so what.  Try the next thing.. because here that's what we do... that's why we hang out at live poets.. to support each other efforts even when we suck. 

 

right i'm done.  Do what feels right... 

Edited by Mikiesboy
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I read this and must admit I can't seem to see what the change made does to improve the work. Maybe because for me it seems out of sequence now. This is the sort of thing that has always made me feel inadequate/unable to write poetry. This by the way is in no way intended as criticism. I just don't get it, sorry.

It is out of sequence as a story, yet it works as a Rondo because the first quatrains (now) are the strongest, most emotional ones. I don't know about you but when Frodo says goodbye and is sailing away, it kills me everytime.

 

The last quatrain is lighter, it's good news. Yes it was hard but we did it and now I can tell you about it in relief.

 

It took me a few days to let it work. Still think I can do better. I'll likely try again.

Edited by Mikiesboy
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It is out of sequence as a story, yet it works as a Rondo because the first quatrains (now) are the strongest, most emotional ones. I don't know about you but Frodo say goodbye and sailing away, kills me everytime.

 

The last quatrain is lighter, it's good news. Yes it was hard but we did it and now I can tell you about it in relief.

 

 

I couldn't have said it better myself! :) 

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Okay, I see what you're saying and it makes sense. Sometimes, when I can't understand the fom and function I feel stupid ... yeah, I know not stupid just poorly educated. It's this frustration that caused me to "dislike" poetry. Thanks to you and AC and the others I'm learning but the two of you and Parker too make it seem effortless and I keep thinking how do your brains think like that? While I may choose to not write in these forms I like to be able to understand and appreciate them. Thanks for explaining.

Namaste.

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Okay, I see what you're saying and it makes sense. Sometimes, when I can't understand the fom and function I feel stupid ... yeah, I know not stupid just poorly educated. It's this frustration that caused me to "dislike" poetry. Thanks to you and AC and the others I'm learning but the two of you and Parker too make it seem effortless and I keep thinking how do your brains think like that? While I may choose to not write in these forms I like to be able to understand and appreciate them. Thanks for explaining.

Namaste.

Thank you ... i understand frustration.. i often get like that... just , please don't use the 's' word.  (big cheesy grin inserted here)

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  • 9 months later...

Not sure if either of these works....

 

Rondo #1
 
A description of the film 'Life is Beautiful,' with Roberto Benigni
 
Your 'Buongiorno Principessa' 
sure could melt a chill contessa, 
and you charmed me as your Bella, 
though my parents were near undone. 
 
You took change with such finessa, 
even more when the tedescha 
put us under their umbrella, 
and they blotted out all the sun. 
 
So ingenious you express a 
love which pain will end, unless a 
sacrificial tarantella 
wards off evil with gallows fun.
 
 
 
Hunter
 
Pursue me, make of me your game, 
I'll give you pleasure of the chase, 
your subtle snares prepared in place, 
your stratagems I'll put to shame. 
 
Come hunter, let me know your name, 
your feathered shaft would stop my race, 
yet I ran Artemis in Thrace, 
and slept by fair Orion's flame. 
 
So lie in wait to stake your claim, 
your prey to gaze at face to face, 
and all your comely body brace, 
for you may stalk, but cannot tame.
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Poetry Prompt 12 – Rondo

 

 

Let's Write an Opera-Style Rondò! 

 

A Rondò is a two-part aria. What's an aria? An aria is like a song in two sections, but the first section is repeated at the end. A Rondò breaks this repetition rule.

 

The basic structure is this (and it's easy to follow):

 

Aria sections: part A; part B; recap part A

 

Rondò sections: part A; development of part A; recap part A; part B.

 

 

This type of number is used to convey complex emotional situations at the height of the drama, and as such, is a great complement to the Sonnet forms we've already studied. The first part of a Rondò is slow, and the second part fast; it's like the natural break that occurs at the pivot point of a Sonnet.     

 

The history of this piece of dramatic music is not so straightforward. Like the origin of the Sonnet, the non-musical version of the Rondò comes from French late medieval poetry. The Rondeau is a well-established form of verse very much like the Italian Sonnet, with a rhyme structure of a-b-b-a; a-b-b-a, etc. So, this form being as old as it is would seem to have a long-lived history as the musical type known as the Rondò. But, it doesn't.

 

Rondòs appeared all of a sudden at the end of the 1770s, and by the middle of the next decade had hit a perfect stride. Let's look at the structure in more detail.

 

The classic Rondò is made of three quatrains of 8-syllable lines. Rhyming can vary greatly, but generally in Italian it follows the rules of vowel, vowel, vowel, consonant. In other words, think of the ending sounds like this: ah, eh, ee, are; or, ee, ough, ah, own; and so forth. That is the basic structure of Italian poetics where finding words that rhyme is not a challenge and what matters is the harmonious placement of the phonetics concluding a line.

 

Let's look at an example. Follow along with the music as you read. The Rondò begins at min. 1:20.

 

 

Amor, pietoso Amore,                      Oh Love, piteous lord of love,

rendimi alfin al pace,                         finally grant me some peace,

porgi ristoro a un core                      allow repose for my heart

stanco di tollerar.                              so tired in its suffering. 

Basti il mio lungo pianto                  Let my long bouts of tears suffice

l'ire a saziar del Fato,                       to assuage the anger of Fate,

cessi un amante ingrato                   prevent that ungrateful lover         

di farmi sosprirar.                              from having to make me sigh.

Ah se invano io mi lusingo,              Ah, in vain I flatter myself,

se pietà di me non hai,                     for if you do not take pity,       

crudo Amor! perché mi fai                cruel Love, why then make of me

le tue leggi seguitar?                        accomplice to your heartless law?  

 

 

So you can see, this is strong stuff! Emotions are pulled out from within the character and bared for all to see. You can also tell how the rhyme structure works here, although Lorenzo da Ponte, the poet, decided to keep it eh, eh, eh, are; oh, oh, oh, are; and then he diversified with oh, ai, ai, are. This is quite different from the typical approach to end of lines in English poetry, but as you can see, it makes for a beautiful effect, especially here in the capable hands of Maestro Salieri.

 

Love-gone-wrong is one of the usual themes for a Rondò, but it's only one possibility. In Un cosa rara,[1] da Ponte wrote a Rondò where the Queen of Spain is reflecting on the joys of a simple life – the life of which she is deprived. And in our next example, by da Ponte again,[2] an evil woman comes to grips with not only giving up her political ambitions, but losing her life to save the man she's manipulated into doing her dirty work. Follow along with the music as you read.

 

 

Non più di fiori vaghe catene                  No more with his garlands of flowers

discenda Imene ad intrecciar.                 will blessèd Hymen descend on me.

Stretta fra barbare                                   Now locked in barbarous

aspre ritore                                              chains of captivity,

veggo la morte                                         it's only Death I see

ver me avanzar.                                       approaching step by step.

Infelice! qual orrore!                                Unhappy soul! What horror awaits!

Ah, di me che si dirà?                              Ah, but what will be said of me?

Chi vedesse il mio dolore,                      Who seeing my agony will not then

Pur avria di me pietà.                             find a little room to pity me.     

 

      

Ok, so bad example? No, a beautiful one, even though it breaks the form in several ways (having only 10 lines instead of 12, metres all over the place, etc.), I wanted you to hear how a great Rondò comes to life with great music. We can feel her torment, but her grudging acceptance to embrace her fate, even though it means a public execution for treason. She is brave here, and shines forth as the example that it's never too late to do the honorable thing.

   

 

The prompt: write one Rondò based on a well-known movie scene. Channel the pathos you personally know and love from a favorite movie moment, like Scarlett O'Hara grubbing turnips and saying "As God is my witness…" or, the adrenalin injection scene from Pulp Fiction – you choose. Work those emotions into three quatrains, with the pivot point coming on the 3rd one. You decide how or if you wish to rhyme it, and how many syllables each line contains. Again, relax. Don't get frustrated; just have fun with it.   

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

--------------------------------------------

[1] Un cosa rara, ossia bellezza ed onestà – or, A Rare Thing, Beauty and Honesty Together – music by Vincent Martín y Soler.    

[2] The authorship of this number from La clemenza di Tito is in dispute. The libretto was created for Mozart by Caterino Mazzolà, but scholarship by H.C. Robbins Landon shows convincingly that this piece was preformed in concert long before the opera was commissioned. This assertion is validated by the number literally being cut and pasted into the opera score; he speculates that Lorenzo Da Ponte was the poet this piece and not Mazzolà. See Landon's 1791 Mozart's Last Year, 1988 New York.     

 

 

here's a new link for the Salieri Rondo: 

 

Amor, pietoso Amroe

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