Jump to content

Comsie Review - Brandon Smiling By Mrm


Comicality

Recommended Posts

"Brandon Smiling" By MrM

 


 

I'm definitely going to take a temporary 'ego moment' right now, hehehe! So smooshes to MrM for this story, which is actually a solo story surrounding the character of 'Brandon' from the "Billy Chase" series! And for all readers of that series, you know that Brandon and Billy have an on again, off again, up again, down again, type of relationship from Book One to Book Nine! Hehehe, so I don't envy what awaits him at all! But it's still extremely interesting to get a private peek or two!

 

When MrM first approached me about doing the story, I was all for it! I was excited to see what he would do with the character. But I was truly surprised by a lot of the angles that he came up with in this storyline. It's not just an interpretation, it's a re-invention! I found myself reading it as if I was meeting this character for the very first time, and that's exactly what an author is SUPPOSED to do! Find something he/she loves and make it their own. So kudos on pulling that off, dude! :)

 

This story not only follows alongside the "Billy Chase" timeline, but it also gives a healthy amount of backstory as well. I won't give spoilers on any of that, but Brandon's home life, his parents, his beliefs, his desires, all get explained in more detail here, creating a much more well rounded character than the one you usually only get to see through 'Billy's' biased perspective. Typing his thoughts out on a computer instead of handwriting them in a journal, you get to experience Brandon's day to day thoughts as he begins to figure out what his changing life is all about. Including that cute blond boy who has suddenly caught his fancy...and how he goes about finding him. Hehehe, nice touch, by the way! :)

 

Something that I noticed, but it isn't really a major thing to think about.

 

One thing that you'll usually hear me telling other authors these days...is to try to avoid the 'C' word (cock). Especially in a story like this one, where your style seems to be going for more of an emotional and possibly even romantic impact. Even though I started out the same way, using the same words for my sex scenes...I've learned to see the contrast between one mood and he other. Readers might feel all warm and fuzzy one minute...then you see the words 'he whipped out his hard cock', and it's like 'WHOAH! Ok...we just entered a whole new territory here!' Hehehe!'

 

I can't speak for the ladies, but we fellas can't think with the big head and the little head at the same time. Our blood flow has got to make a choice. :P So if you want that boyish high school crush vibe...try to skillfully get around whatever descriptions you might see as being a bit more hardcore. However, if a sex scene comes up, and hardcore is what you're looking for...then that's fine to. But make a smooth transition from one to the other. Let things heat up until your audience is ready, and then give them a mouthful! :: Giggles ::

 

The only reason I started noticing stuff like that is because I went back and have been reworking a bunch of my older stories to turn into ebooks, and looking at them now, I see how that can sometimes interrupt the flow that I was going for. It's almost like a DJ scratching a needle on a record to stop the music. Hehehe! And anything that takes your reader out of the moment, even for a second, can lessen the effect of being totally immersed in the storytelling.

 

Other than that, I'll definitely try to keep up with this story! Like I said, it's like starting all over again with a brand new character and a whole new set of thoughts and feelings that I never would have thought of on my own! So check it out, everybody! The link is up above, and it'll be right here on GayAuthors! Enjoy! And I hope this helps, dude!

 

Coming up next? My review for "Knots" by Elias Scott, followed by "Priorities" by ATrueFan! Seezya then!
  • Like 2
Link to comment

:worship:

 

"What is thy bidding....my Master!"

 

What elation and joy to be praised by my Gay Authors hero! The Guild Master Himself!

 

Thank you for taking the time to read and review my take on Brandon. As I have said, Ad Nauseum, when you wrote Brandon I saw Little M in my library hiding from 'JOEseph'. The impressionistic strokes that painted the sketch of Brandon looked a lot like me when I was his age. Although, alas, I had green eyes instead of hazel, I identified with the person you pulled from your imagination and experience.

 

Noted on the sex scenes. I have a problem in that I am also writing a much more mature piece with much more mature characters in another story. So my sex scenes in Snowflake cross pollenate with Brandon and I need to compartmentalize. It is a problem when writing two completely different stories at once...but then I forget who I am talking to.

 

If you can find the time, I would very much like to communicate with you off the record about progressing Brandon. Artistic license is all well and good, but at the same time I want a valid response to Billy. One that can mesh with your wonderful story. 

My love and affection always, Comsie.
Thank you so much for your time and effort. You have touched me and many of us in ways you can never know.

:heart::hug::heart:

Edited by MrM
Link to comment

Actually, there's nothing wrong with your sex scenes at all. Those are fine. :) I just think it's a bit of a harsh contrast to what comes before and after. The writing itself is great. If you wanted to keep it the way you have it, I'd merely suggest building up to it with a few more paragraphs to 'escalate' the reader's involvement a little at the time. Then they'll be ready. :)

 

Then again, I tend to be a bit wordy sometimes. Something that I've been trying to correct in the ebooks and stuff. But it all takes practice, I suppose. As for writing different stories at once...just concentrate on the characters. Not the story. There's a huge difference, but if you concentrate on the characters, they'll always guide you in the right direction. The story almost plays second fiddle in the long run.

 

Anyway, I'll be around. I'm actually answering a TON of emails this week! So if you want to talk more about Brandon and all, drop me a line at Comicality@webtv.net and I'll try to get back to you asap. I have to be honest though, I really LOVE what you've done with the character on your own so far! But if you have questions, I'll be around to answer them. K? :)

 

Take care!

  • Like 1
Link to comment

Actually, there's nothing wrong with your sex scenes at all. Those are fine. :) I just think it's a bit of a harsh contrast to what comes before and after. The writing itself is great. If you wanted to keep it the way you have it, I'd merely suggest building up to it with a few more paragraphs to 'escalate' the reader's involvement a little at the time. Then they'll be ready. :)

 

Then again, I tend to be a bit wordy sometimes. Something that I've been trying to correct in the ebooks and stuff. But it all takes practice, I suppose. As for writing different stories at once...just concentrate on the characters. Not the story. There's a huge difference, but if you concentrate on the characters, they'll always guide you in the right direction. The story almost plays second fiddle in the long run.

 

Anyway, I'll be around. I'm actually answering a TON of emails this week! So if you want to talk more about Brandon and all, drop me a line at Comicality@webtv.net and I'll try to get back to you asap. I have to be honest though, I really LOVE what you've done with the character on your own so far! But if you have questions, I'll be around to answer them. K? :)

 

Take care!

 

Oh thank you for remaining open to questions! :hug:

 

I will avail myself of that for some items. 

So long as you are happy with my progress on Brandon without recharacterizing him too much from your concept of him then I am happy. If you were my only reader of this, it would be enough. :)

 

I agree with character driven stories. They 'tell' me their stories as I write. Snowflake is a study in this since I write in first person from each character's perspective to give a different view on a common event or expereince. Challenging, but a lot of fun.

 

Many thanks once again.

Link to comment
×
×
  • Create New...

Important Information

Our Privacy Policy can be found here: Privacy Policy. We have placed cookies on your device to help make this website better. You can adjust your cookie settings, otherwise we'll assume you're okay to continue..