CoTT 2 House of Cards

[Marty]

This is reply number 50,000 in this thread.

[EDIT] Adding image

Edited December 27, 2020 by Marty

[dughlas]

2 hours ago, Drew Espinosa said:

I, as God-Emperor, have the power to commute sentences. If you want a favorable outcome, I suggest you watch how you speak to me.  

I been nothin' but kindness about your momma's tamales. Which I'd wager are the best in Texas and there are none bett'rn those from Texas. Why I even made a kindly suggestion about internet cures for all sorts of inadequacies bein' available for those folks what needs 'em. I didn't wanta say but I hired Rudi Guiliani to file a "amicus brief" in support of that judge showin' leniency and suspendin' that sentence preventin' you from ever bein' allowed to stuff yerself with tamales next Christmas. I'm pretty certain there was fraud involved in the countin' of tamales you ate. You most likely ate a Texas landslide's worth but some bad, bad, very sick people, probably the Chinese, tampered with the count. If need be we can file a writ of habeas corpus or some such askin' the Supreme Court to intervene and force a hand recount.

[dughlas]

8 minutes ago, Marty said:

This is reply number 50,000 in this thread.

[EDIT] Adding image

Watch for a monolith to appear it's 2001 ...

[Marty]

Just now, dughlas said:

Watch for a monolith to appear it's 2001 ...

But didn't we have several appear in the last month?  

[Marty]

3 minutes ago, dughlas said:

I been nothin' but kindness about your momma's tamales. Which I'd wager are the best in Texas and there are none bett'rn those from Texas. Why I even made a kindly suggestion about internet cures for all sorts of inadequacies bein' available for those folks what needs 'em. I didn't wanta say but I hired Rudi Guiliani to file a "amicus brief" in support of that judge showin' leniency and suspendin' that sentence preventin' you from ever bein' allowed to stuff yerself with tamales next Christmas. I'm pretty certain there was fraud involved in the countin' of tamales you ate. You most likely ate a Texas landslide's worth but some bad, bad, very sick people, probably the Chinese, tampered with the count. If need be we can file a writ of habeas corpus or some such askin' the Supreme Court to intervene and force a hand recount.

I'm think I might be about to choke on my popcorn....

[dughlas]

1 minute ago, Marty said:

I'm think I might be about to choke on my popcorn....

You gotta stop tryin' to stuff in such big handfuls ...

[dughlas]

4 minutes ago, Marty said:

But didn't we have several appear in the last month?  

Those were just the precursors for the big one ...

[Marty]

I know it's a complete waste of time but, as it's now coming up to 1:00am here, I'm going to head to bed and try to get some beauty sleep.  

[Dodger]

18 minutes ago, Headstall said:

I'll have to dismantle the whole thing, and there's no way to check it before putting it all back together. I think a few more wraps of teflon tape will fix the leaking joint, but getting the pieces apart is not going to be easy. I've always used three wraps of tape, but I read online a guy who says he's learned the hard way to use four to seven wraps, even for new pieces. WTF. Guess I'll use five or six at least. I am so dreading doing this all again. The taps look amazing, though, and perfectly placed, so there is that at least. 

I've done a few jobs around the house and plumbing is definitely the most frustrating. I had similar problems with a leaky pipe. In the end I decided to call out a local plumber and I never looked back. It's all about having the right tools for the job.

[Headstall]

2 minutes ago, Marty said:

I know it's a complete waste of time but, as it's now coming up to 1:00am here, I'm going to head to bed and try to get some beauty sleep.  

Doesn't work for me either, bro. Sweet dreams.  

[Headstall]

1 minute ago, Dodger said:

I've done a few jobs around the house and plumbing is definitely the most frustrating. I had similar problems with a leaky pipe. In the end I decided to call out a local plumber and I never looked back. It's all about having the right tools for the job.

I'm a stubborn old cuss.   I'll give it one more try.  

[dughlas]

1 minute ago, Headstall said:

I'm a stubborn old cuss.   I'll give it one more try.  

Maybe it's the chair. Try standing on a different one and see if things go better. 

[Dodger]

4 minutes ago, Headstall said:

I'm a stubborn old cuss.   I'll give it one more try.  

Water with a little help from gravity, will find its way through almost anything. That drip was driving me crazy. I did more damage than good and my wrench was the wrong size. The plumber had a much bigger one and he knew how to use it!

[Marty]

Before I head to bed, as I've just realised we're already on page 2001, and might have gone onto a new page before I get up in the morning, I thought I should drop this here now:

 

[Marty]

11 minutes ago, Headstall said:

Doesn't work for me either, bro. Sweet dreams.  

Thanks, bro.

[Albert1434]

I had a great christmas dinner one friend! And it came out great! Hope you all had a great time

[Albert1434]

34 minutes ago, Headstall said:

I'm a stubborn old cuss.   I'll give it one more try.  

So your going to try and kill yourself again jezzzz

Edited December 27, 2020 by Albert1434

[Drew Espinosa]

1 hour ago, dughlas said:

I been nothin' but kindness about your momma's tamales. Which I'd wager are the best in Texas and there are none bett'rn those from Texas. Why I even made a kindly suggestion about internet cures for all sorts of inadequacies bein' available for those folks what needs 'em. I didn't wanta say but I hired Rudi Guiliani to file a "amicus brief" in support of that judge showin' leniency and suspendin' that sentence preventin' you from ever bein' allowed to stuff yerself with tamales next Christmas. I'm pretty certain there was fraud involved in the countin' of tamales you ate. You most likely ate a Texas landslide's worth but some bad, bad, very sick people, probably the Chinese, tampered with the count. If need be we can file a writ of habeas corpus or some such askin' the Supreme Court to intervene and force a hand recount.

THE IMPERIAL COURT OF THE TEXAN EMPIRE

DUGHLAS V. THE EMPIRE OF TEXAS

The plaintiff, Dughlas, has filed a motion to commute his sentence of a lifetime ban on eating the tamales made by the mother of the God-Emperor of Texas to that of a more merciful sentence. He has presented the case that his sentence violates the principle against cruel and unusual punishments . It is the responsibility of this Court to weigh the merits of his arguments.

1) The plaintiff has stated that he has never insulted the Empress-Mother or her tamales, and therefore finding him guilty of insulting her and her tamales is unreasonable. However, upon reviewing the Imperial Law Code, it states that to insult one member of the Imperial Family is to insult the entire Imperial Family. To call the God-Emperor a "slacker" is to call every member of the Imperial Family a "slacker". Therefore, the plaintiff called the Empress-Mother a "slacker" and is guilty of insulting the Imperial Family.

2) On the count of the plaintiff's sentencing being "cruel and unusual", we the Court have examined this claim on its merits. According to the Imperial Law Code, punishments that are "cruel and unusual" are those that violate human dignity. The plaintiff's sentence is that of a lifetime ban of eating the tamales made by the Empress-Mother. This sentence would have violated the human dignity of the plaintiff had he been denied most forms of sustenance. However, the lifetime ban only applies to the tamales made by the Empress-Mother, and the plaintiff is free to eat anything else he so desires, including tamales not made by the Empress-Mother. Therefore, the sentence of the plaintiff does not violate his human dignity nor is it "cruel and unusual".

It is the judgement of this Court, that it was fair and proper to put the plaintiff on trial for insulting the Imperial Family, and that his sentence was reasonable. We, the Court, hereby dismiss the plaintiff's case.

Edited December 27, 2020 by Drew Espinosa

[Headstall]

24 minutes ago, Drew Espinosa said:

THE IMPERIAL COURT OF THE TEXAN EMPIRE

DUGHLAS V. THE EMPIRE OF TEXAS

The plaintiff, Dughlas, has filed a motion to commute his sentence of a lifetime ban on eating the tamales made by the mother of the God-Emperor of Texas to that of a more merciful sentence. He has presented the case that his sentence violates the principle against cruel and unusual punishments . It is the responsibility of this Court to weigh the merits of his arguments.

1) The plaintiff has stated that he has never insulted the Empress-Mother or her tamales, and therefore finding him guilty of insulting her and her tamales is unreasonable. However, upon reviewing the Imperial Law Code, it states that to insult one member of the Imperial Family is to insult the entire Imperial Family. To call the God-Emperor a "slacker" is to call every member of the Imperial Family a "slacker". Therefore, the plaintiff called the Empress-Mother a "slacker" and is guilty of insulting the Imperial Family.

2) On the count of the plaintiff's sentencing being "cruel and unusual", we the Court have examined this claim on its merits. According to the Imperial Law Code, punishments that are "cruel and unusual" are those that violate human dignity. The plaintiff's sentence is that of a lifetime ban of eating the tamales made by the Empress-Mother. This sentence would have violated the human dignity of the plaintiff had he been denied most forms of sustenance. However, the lifetime ban only applies to the tamales made by the Empress-Mother, and the plaintiff is free to eat anything else he so desires, including tamales not made by the Empress-Mother. Therefore, the sentence of the plaintiff does not violate his human dignity nor is it "cruel and unusual".

It is the judgement of this Court, that it was fair and proper to put the plaintiff on trial for insulting the Imperial Family, and that his sentence was reasonable. We, the Court, hereby dismiss the plaintiff's case.

Oh    my    God!  Duh  lose  shun  al   

[Headstall]

1 hour ago, Dodger said:

Water with a little help from gravity, will find its way through almost anything. That drip was driving me crazy. I did more damage than good and my wrench was the wrong size. The plumber had a much bigger one and he knew how to use it!

A good man knows how to use his tool.  

[clochette]

26 minutes ago, Drew Espinosa said:

THE IMPERIAL COURT OF THE TEXAN EMPIRE

DUGHLAS V. THE EMPIRE OF TEXAS

The plaintiff, Dughlas, has filed a motion to commute his sentence of a lifetime ban on eating the tamales made by the mother of the God-Emperor of Texas to that of a more merciful sentence. He has presented the case that his sentence violates the principle against cruel and unusual punishments . It is the responsibility of this Court to weigh the merits of his arguments.

You are insane...  

[Drew Espinosa]

8 minutes ago, Headstall said:

Oh    my    God!  Duh  lose  shun  al   

 

6 minutes ago, clochette said:

You are insane...  

 

Shut up, the both of you!  

[Albert1434]

11 minutes ago, Headstall said:

A good man knows how to use his tool.  

I know how to use my tool 

[Albert1434]

 I am sure I would have to agree with them 

[Drew Espinosa]

 <nukes everyone in this thread>