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October 10th


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Thanks, man.

You know...it's weird...

But for the first time ever, last year in 2019...I actually forgot the date. I think I was really disturbed by that. It messed my head up a little bit.

Losing a friend to suicide is just something that you never get over. And I won't ever stop feeling guilty that I didn't do more to help him and talk to him when I had the chance. That last hug that he gave me just hours before he did what he did...I can't get it out of my head. And I mean we used to hug all the time, but even that night I thought it was a bit weird. Like, "Are you ok?" Obviously, he wasn't ok. :(

You guys, I know that we all throw ourselves into this sterile internet world, and it seems like things like telling someone that you love them and appreciate them is more of a burden and an obligation than an honest expression of what you feel in your heart. But please...PLEASE...take ten friggin' SECONDS out of your day to give something to somebody ELSE for a change! You know? I know everybody wants a thousand Facebook friends, and a million Instagram/Twitter/Tik Tok followers, instead of sharing your joy with somebody ELSE...but just...tell somebody that you love that you love them. Do it today. When was the last time that anybody reading this has actually told somebody, "I love you"? Or "Thanks for being a friend"? How hard is that? When did we become so ashamed of being human?

It still hurts sometimes. Not as much as when it first happened. But I had to move on. We all did. 

I miss him. I really do.

I just wish I had one more chance to tell him that I loved him, you know? I miss his laugh. His raunchy sense of humor. He had a really good heart. He really did.

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