Imagine Magazine Question For 3/18

[Comicality]

It's not unhealthy or 'weird' to feel sad sometimes. I've always said that the worst thing about feeling bad...is feeling bad about feeling bad. It's a spiral that really hurts us in the long run, and it's really hard to escape from sometimes. But I also think that it's damaging to avoid feeling bad every now and then.

Listen...life is hard sometimes. Bad things happen. And we need to develop effective ways of dealing with the parts of our lives that don't always go our way or working in our favor. Depression is painful, but it's also a stepping stone towards getting stronger as a person. It's not going to KILL us. It's ok to feel bad when times are bad. It's okay to cry when we need to cry. Since when has this become something that is not okay?

For this question, we're talking about depression. Have you felt it, been through it, been forced to deal with it? What happened (If you care to share)? How did you deal with it ad get through that rough time in your life? And what advice can you give to other people who might be going through something similar right now?

Maybe it was the loss of a loved one. Maybe it was a defeat, or a betrayal, or a devastating heartbreak. And sometimes...a deep depression can happen for no real reason at all. I've personally been there myself, and it's no fun. Believe me. Take a chance and open up to tell us your story. Maybe you can help somebody else get through it too. You know?

Feel free to answer down below. And anonymous replies are always welcome too, either here or in my email at Comicality@shackoutback.net if you want it added to the list. Cool?

Depression is nothing to be ashamed of. Be aware of your feelings and deal with them accordingly. Nobody needs you to be a superhero. Just be human. It's more than enough. K?

[Comicality]

To say that the very concept of me and depression being handcuffed at the wrist for many years is a common thing for me would be a severe understatement. I've been much lower than some people will ever know, and it really hurt.

But, to be totally honest...I think one of the biggest mistakes that I ever made in my life was trying to deal with everything all on my own. Never talking about it, never speaking up, never screaming out "I NEED HELP!!! And this is starting way back when I was barely a teenager. What was I going to be able to handle? I didn't know how? And even years and years later, I was too scared to 'learn' how. I made some really...BAD...decisions right before The Shack came along. Some, I would even say were pretty dangerous when I think back on it. But what do I do when I spent so much time trying to protect myself, and protect my friends, AND protect my mom, and hide my secrets, and deal with trauma...? It was too much, but all of that pain had nowhere to go. Distracting myself worked for a little bit in small doses, but the damage didn't go anywhere. I was just creating another trigger inside where somebody says or does the wrong thing, and suddenly I'm ready to flip out...letting all of that anger and sadness and insecurity and self loathing explode out of me all at once.

But when I started writing stories, when I started talking to people in email and on the boards and in the chatrooms...it relieved soooo much pressure. You have no idea. That's not to say that I'm not still guarded or defensive sometimes, or that I don't get my feelings hurt, or that my heart hasn't been broken more times than I can count at this point...but I finally found opportunities where people are actually willing to listen to me. You know? I can vent from time to time. I can talk about private parts of me, and invite other people to do the same. That's not something that I ever had before. It's pretty much why the Shack is what it is today. I want people to have a place to talk and a community to share with when life gets to be too much to handle on your own. Because those bad times will come knocking eventually. And I think people have to do more with the pain they're feeling now and teach themselves how to self soothe and grow from. Something more effective than just 'hiding it away' in the basement where nobody else can see it.

My life isn't perfect. Not by any means. But after being able to talk about my state of mind, gaining wisdom and perspective...I now realize that it doesn't have to be. It never did. And when the bad times come, I'll deal with them accordingly. As long as I keep my 'basement' clean and stop trying to be a one man army. I tried that. Spent years trying to get that skill just right. And all I've got to show for it is missed opportunities and a waste of time.

Let it go. Take all the time you need, talk to someone you trust, and then...let it go. You'll thank yourselves for it later. I did.