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The Druid - Chapter 7


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You can find it here:

 

https://www.gayauthors.org/eficiton/viewsto...7&chapter=6

 

I think I cheated enough to get the job done. I hope you like it. I'd very much olike your opinions.

 

Take care!

 

I loved it!!!!!! I think it was excellently done, and avoiding changing "voices" really improved it for me, as well as the changes to the plot. I loved the ending!!! :great::great::great::great:

 

The story of the pie was a delightful touch.

 

I'm also delighted that so much has been explained.

 

One thing though: I found something very lacking. That something is chapter 6. :P

 

Looking forward to Chapter 6!

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I loved it!!!!!! I think it was excellently done, and avoiding changing "voices" really improved it for me, as well as the changes to the plot. I loved the ending!!! :great::great::great::great:

 

The story of the pie was a delightful touch.

 

I'm also delighted that so much has been explained.

 

One thing though: I found something very lacking. That something is chapter 6. :P

 

Looking forward to Chapter 6!

 

Thanks much. I'm so damned tired lol. Tomorrow is for 'Midnight's Rainbow' The one joy I know is that as 'author' I can do whatever the hell I want. LOL So... I pulled in the third person narrative... and made it a first person experience for Ty. hehehe Yeah... I totally cheated.

 

Chapter 6 is going to have to wait until I get chapter 1 done of 'Midnight's Rainbow' I'm about 1/2 way there. Maybe tomorrow I'll find my way through it. Until then... I'm going to stare blindly at the computer screen and yawn. In another 20 minutes.... with any luck.. I'll be snoring.

 

We'll see.

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  • Site Administrator

I'm very impressed. I think that's one of the most imaginative ways in a first-person POV story to find out what's been happening while the lead character is dead.

 

Hmm.... come to think of it, I can't recall too many first person POV stories that continue on after the narrator has died, anyway. :P

Well done! The story is beginning to come together very nicely.

 

Oh, and I have to agree with C James... that pie story was delightful :great:

 

Keep up the good work!

 

Graeme :D

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I'm very impressed. I think that's one of the most imaginative ways in a first-person POV story to find out what's been happening while the lead character is dead.

 

Hmm.... come to think of it, I can't recall too many first person POV stories that continue on after the narrator has died, anyway. :P

Well done! The story is beginning to come together very nicely.

 

Oh, and I have to agree with C James... that pie story was delightful :great:

 

Keep up the good work!

 

Graeme :D

 

Woo hoo! I don't think my head will fit out the door! j/k Thanks a lot Graeme, that means a lot coming from you.

 

As for the pie story, I wanted to give a little background, but not make it clinical and at the same time try to explain what a 'ward' is exactly lol.

 

Thank you too for pointing out a few 'whoops!'. It made it so I could get them fixed quickly. My editor would have probably caught them, but after the third or 4th version of the chapter I hated to send him anything else lol. He didn't even see the third person re-write. (I think he probably would have killed me heheh)

 

Take care and thanks for reading!

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I can't wait for Ch 6!!

 

I'm really hoping that Ty and Brian get together, BUT, although it has been alluded to it hasn't been said yet, so I'm keeping my fingers crossed.

 

Thank you DarkShadow!

 

Chapter 6 - Dicentra Spectabilis "Bleeding Heart" has been officially sent to the editor. I hope to have it out in the next couple of days. Sterling's fast so here's hoping!

 

Now... time to get to work on Midnight's Rainbow... LOL ... the work never ends... but I do love it!

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I'm trying to keep the reader informed. I've found my weakest point is leaving the reader hanging with too many questions. I'm working on it ;)

I can see how that would be difficult with the amount of background and other information this story requires to make it comrehensible. You're doing a good job so far, I'm really enjoying it.

I also like to mix tension with humor. It seems a natural trate to laugh when we're at our worst. So... I kind of ride that lol
I've noticed that. It was one of my favorite traits of the "Buffy the Vampire Slayer" television series. You use it well.
The next chapter should be out soon. I hope you like it!

I'm looking forward to it.

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  • 3 weeks later...
  • Site Administrator

I liked it :)

 

A nice touch with the BLT without the T. I took it as another link between Ty and Bry -- similar tastes.

 

Galen's an interesting character. Ty's got a healthy attitude to him, but Ty needs to watch out for his boyfriend more until Bry has the same instincts (if he ever does).

 

Well done :D

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I liked it :)

 

A nice touch with the BLT without the T. I took it as another link between Ty and Bry -- similar tastes.

 

Galen's an interesting character. Ty's got a healthy attitude to him, but Ty needs to watch out for his boyfriend more until Bry has the same instincts (if he ever does).

 

Well done :D

 

Thank you Graeme... You know that means a lot to me ;)

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I loved Galens sandwich!!! Ty has some interesting talents :2thumbs:

 

"Serves the old goat right, if you ask me," Kent grumbled as Mark shot him a warning look.

 

I am deeply offended! :angry:

How could you possibly use the term "goat" in a less than favorable light? 0:)

 

And that last line! You are EEEVIL! What a place to end it!

 

Hmmm.. I bet I know what is on their minds, though... They want to play backgammon, right? B)

 

Thank you Darkshadow, that was great!! :2thumbs:

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Hey Darkshadow

Nice Chapter. You are right. The strange world is back.

. You have to remember, this is the head of 'The Circle'. The oldest druid, and the 'Eternal'

I appreciate very much the mix of reality and memories. And in just one phrase, Galen resumes the two sides of your story : I'll return tomorrow at noon to begin your training." Galen paused to look at me and then Bry. A wry smile stretched his lips before he spoke. "Enjoy the rest of your evening."

Just a note : by reading all the chapters in one "blow", the fun is even better, each chapter explains the former. :worship:

Old Bob

Edited by old bob
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I loved Galens sandwich!!! Ty has some interesting talents :2thumbs:

I am deeply offended! :angry:

How could you possibly use the term "goat" in a less than favorable light? 0:)

 

Hmm... maybe all those things I've read on bathroom are lies! Pure lies!

 

And that last line! You are EEEVIL! What a place to end it!

 

Hmmm.. I bet I know what is on their minds, though... They want to play backgammon, right? B)

 

Thank you Darkshadow, that was great!! :2thumbs:

More like 'Twister' but okay ;)

 

Thank you and I'm glad you liked it.

 

Hey Darkshadow

Nice Chapter. You are right. The strange world is back.

. You have to remember, this is the head of 'The Circle'. The oldest druid, and the 'Eternal'

I appreciate very much the mix of reality and memories. And in just one phrase, Galen resumes the two sides of your story : I'll return tomorrow at noon to begin your training." Galen paused to look at me and then Bry. A wry smile stretched his lips before he spoke. "Enjoy the rest of your evening."

Just a note : by reading all the chapters in one "blow", the fun is even better, each chapter explains the former. :worship:

Old Bob

 

Thank you Old Bob! I was hoping that the full chapter might meet your expectations ;) The 'sneek peak' was a little misleading without the rest of the chapter to back it up.

 

Take care and thanks for your comments!!

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Hey Darkshadow

Just another question :

What happened and will happen with Doris ? I like her and her flowers 0:)

Old bob

 

Now if I told you that... I'd have to beat you to death with a salad spoon! Don't worry, Doris isn't so easily written off ;)

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Now if I told you that... I'd have to beat you to death with a salad spoon! Don't worry, Doris isn't so easily written off ;)

 

 

Another awesome chapter. :worship: I love the way they could feel each other's emotions and live each other's memories. that was neat. Perchance it'll come in useful later? :unsure: Hmmm.

 

I also wonder what other "surprises" Galen has for these two in their "training"?

 

 

Keep 'em coming! :2thumbs::2thumbs:

 

Rick

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Hmm... maybe all those things I've read on bathroom are lies! Pure lies!

 

I certainly hope this Arizona Goat isn't being written about on bathroom walls in Florida! :lol:

 

More like 'Twister' but okay ;)

 

Twister? Hmmm, nah, can't have that, too much bodily contact!!

I think that is is your job, as writer, to come up with innovate ways of interrupting them. 0:)

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  • 3 weeks later...
Hey DS

What happened with your story "the Druid" and your last chapter (the 8th) ?

(same question to Moderators)

Old Bob

 

You can find it at CRVBOY. I'm about 3/4 the way through chapter 8 and hopefully will have it out soon. They are posting one chapter a week which is giving me a much needed break and time to play catch up with the holdiay season. AD may end up hosting it as well... who knows ;) Everything is up in the air, so until I land... I'll keep writing. Each Christmas brings out the crazy in me and I'm glad it has finally passed. It's the anniversary of my ex's death and i'm always happy to see the calendar change. So... in the interest of keeping the peace ;) I'll draw this post to a close.

 

Take care and I hope you have a wonderful new year!

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