[Altimexis] Love in a Chair--by Altimexis

[Altimexis]

Then, unless you've seen cases like this in real-life (as I would imagine there isn't one single reaction to spinal cord injury), I'd say it's a bit mean for the reader. Here we are, with two really nice kids, whom some would call goody-two shoes even; most people they meet are sympathetic (and gay!); and it's not about to end happily with health issues under control? Without the least hint of Brian difficulties to get by, we'll see how it goes down, but I'm not sure it's going to be pleasant.

 

Interestingly, I had originally intended to end the story at about this point, but something seemed to be missing. Yes, I could have easily made Brian's adjustment more natural, with episodes of crying and other signs of his adjustment to his disability, but in the end, I felt it was very important to cover his emotional adjustment separately from his physical adjustment.

 

As you mentioned, I've seen many different cases and Brian is a composite of several. As a result, he will experience a series of set-backs (he's already encountered a couple of these) that will force him to confront the emotional component of his injury. The progression will be natural and will parallel things I have seen in real people with spinal cord injuries.

 

My apologies in advance for putting you, dear reader, through emotional turmoil along with Brian and Aaron, but in the end, you'll have a much better appreciation for their predicament and you'll be even more uplifted than you are now.

[Bondwriter]

I hope CJames will have lived through chapter 23 without any trouble, because we're given some more details about Brian's unpleasant problems.

The birthday party is nice. Same problems I had at the beginning of the story with A&B with Corey and Jamal though. Thus discussing one's sex life in public wouldn't be cute, IMO, regardless of your orientation but disrecpectful of others. This couple does add to the "all-gay" cast feeling of the story, though.

 

As for what you added above, Altimexis, I see your point in going further and having Brian go through a series of setbacks, but I'm wondering how long you can stretch the whole thing adding some more "educational information" and keeping the whole story exciting as it has been so far. We'll see and come down harshly if it gets boring...

[Altimexis]

I hope CJames will have lived through chapter 23 without any trouble, because we're given some more details about Brian's unpleasant problems.

Fortunately for CJ and others, there won't be a whole lot more detail on this in the rest of the story. Another reader commented by PM on how routine the bowel/bladder issues were beginning to sound and how he'd become desensitized. That, my friends, is the whole idea. This stuff truly does become routine and it fades into the background.

 

The birthday party is nice. Same problems I had at the beginning of the story with A&B with Corey and Jamal though. Thus discussing one's sex life in public wouldn't be cute, IMO, regardless of your orientation but disrecpectful of others. This couple does add to the "all-gay" cast feeling of the story, though.

 

I see what you're saying, and I hadn't really thought about it. If you find this a bit embarrassing and disrespectful, then I guess it's a very good thing I removed the orgy from the end of the story.

 

Seriously, I hadn't really thought about it, but we do tend to only meet A&B's gay friends, but they undoubtedly have straight friends as well besides Larry and Cindy. I may do something about that in a later chapter, but there's only so much character development one can do in a story and we have yet to meet four major gay characters, two of whom are central to the sequel.

 

As for what you added above, Altimexis, I see your point in going further and having Brian go through a series of setbacks, but I'm wondering how long you can stretch the whole thing adding some more "educational information" and keeping the whole story exciting as it has been so far. We'll see and come down harshly if it gets boring...

 

Trust me, you will not have long to wait . . . and the story I hope will never get boring.

 

Altimexis

[C James]

I hope CJames will have lived through chapter 23 without any trouble, because we're given some more details about Brian's unpleasant problems.

The birthday party is nice. Same problems I had at the beginning of the story with A&B with Corey and Jamal though. Thus discussing one's sex life in public wouldn't be cute, IMO, regardless of your orientation but disrecpectful of others. This couple does add to the "all-gay" cast feeling of the story, though.

 

As for what you added above, Altimexis, I see your point in going further and having Brian go through a series of setbacks, but I'm wondering how long you can stretch the whole thing adding some more "educational information" and keeping the whole story exciting as it has been so far. We'll see and come down harshly if it gets boring...

 

I agree on both the public sex discussion (I've found earlier ones incongruous, specifically talking about sex in froint of parents, though this one was just slightly improbably in my opinion, as some teens can be like that, though yes, I found it kind of rude.).

 

And, um, yeah, the "unpleasant problems" turned what could have been a sweet scene into something I did not enjoy at all.

 

Fortunately for CJ and others, there won't be a whole lot more detail on this in the rest of the story. Another reader commented by PM on how routine the bowel/bladder issues were beginning to sound and how he'd become desensitized. That, my friends, is the whole idea. This stuff truly does become routine and it fades into the background.

 

Speaking for myself, I'm not becoming desensitized; I still hold the same opinion and recation I did previously, though moreso due to the repetition. We already knew, in gory detail, what Brian has to go through, so why ruin what could have been a touching birthday scene with it? As you yourself once said (regarding how the little brother knew about Brian) , you don't have to cover everything in fiction.

[Bondwriter]

We already knew, in gory detail, what Brian has to go through, so why ruin what could have been a touching birthday scene with it? As you yourself once said (regarding how the little brother knew about Brian) , you don't have to cover everything in fiction.

Though I disliked it, it adds to the realism, and makes Aaron a true hero. So many people run away from a loved one who's ill that I admire him for keeping in love. Much less unpleasant, BTW, than the Jetta about to crash anyway.

[Altimexis]

And, um, yeah, the "unpleasant problems" turned what could have been a sweet scene into something I did not enjoy at all.

Speaking for myself, I'm not becoming desensitized; I still hold the same opinion and reaction I did previously, though moreso due to the repetition. We already knew, in gory detail, what Brian has to go through, so why ruin what could have been a touching birthday scene with it? As you yourself once said (regarding how the little brother knew about Brian) , you don't have to cover everything in fiction.

 

Wow, I'm not quite sure how to respond to this. CJ, I could understand your reaction if I had truly gone into detail about what goes into a bowel program - believe me, what I've presented here is very superficial. I'm not sure what it is that's creating such a negative reaction for you. There are two and only two mentions of bowel care in the sex scene. First of all, there is the mention that Brian has to use a suppository before he has anal sex. From what I understand, a lot of able-bodied guys give themselves enemas before having anal intercourse anyway (as will Brian in the future), so I'm not sure I see the big deal here. It's simply a fact of life that he has to empty his bowels before he has sex - how should I put it so that I can convey what is an important message without turning off some of my readers?

 

The second mention is when Brian is incontinent after having anal sex. Unfortunately, this is a big problem for people with spinal cord injury. This is a one-time ordeal for Aaron and Brian and they will solve the problem outside of the story, so we won't have to be distracted by it after this - that is if you can deal with Brian using enemas before anal sex. You can imagine how embarrassing this all was for Brian - it's yet another setback that will help to push him over the edge. Again, how could I convey what these two boys are having to go through without grossing out my readers? It's too central to the story to trivialize it - perhaps I could mark it in some way, but different people find different things objectionable, as you well know. :wacko:

[C James]

What follows (and my prior comments) are merely my opinions... I'm not trying to slam the story, for indeed I like most of the story.

 

Wow, I'm not quite sure how to respond to this. CJ, I could understand your reaction if I had truly gone into detail about what goes into a bowel program - believe me, what I've presented here is very superficial. I'm not sure what it is that's creating such a negative reaction for you. There are two and only two mentions of bowel care in the sex scene. First of all, there is the mention that Brian has to use a suppository before he has anal sex. From what I understand, a lot of able-bodied guys give themselves enemas before having anal intercourse anyway (as will Brian in the future), so I'm not sure I see the big deal here. It's simply a fact of life that he has to empty his bowels before he has sex - how should I put it so that I can convey what is an important message without turning off some of my readers?

 

My strongest objection was to the following'

 

Brian did just that. He transferred himself to his toilet, inserted a suppository, and within a 45 minutes had filled the bowl with a xxxx-load. Aaron was well beyond the gross-out stage by now and the two boys chatted about their summer plans while waiting for Brian's bowel program to complete.

 

As you had covered it in detail before, couldn't the second sentence be omitted? It was covered by "brian did just that" Just about every human does things in the bathroom that aren't pleasant to read about, and can be alluded to once, as you had already done, the procedure had been explained.

 

As for the incontinence during sex, my suggestion would be to cover it other than as part of the scene, instead of describing it as part of the scene. Perhaps end the scene before that point and have them mention it in dialog afterwards.

 

The second mention is when Brian is incontinent after having anal sex. Unfortunately, this is a big problem for people with spinal cord injury. This is a one-time ordeal for Aaron and Brian and they will solve the problem outside of the story, so we won't have to be distracted by it after this

 

I do realize that this issue is a major one for people with spinal injuries, I'm not suggesting omitting it, just presenting it differently. For example, mentions of specific odors in writing tend to evoke a reader's mental recall of such an odor. If that is what you intended, okay, but to me it made the scene, which would normally be a heartwarming scene, unpleasant. Again, if that is what you intended, then it's right, but if not, you might want to re-think how you present the information.

 

I do realize that this is a story with a purpose far beyond being an enjoyable read, so please bear in mind that my opinions are directed more towards general readership issues, which have limited applicability in this case.

 

If you really want to drive home the effect of all this on Brian, doing so in the dialog might be one option. He does seem to be dealing overly well, BUT, that could also be a "dam about to burst" situation too, in which case taking my suggestion would be counter-productive.

[Altimexis]

What follows (and my prior comments) are merely my opinions... I'm not trying to slam the story, for indeed I like most of the story. . .

 

I do realize that this is a story with a purpose far beyond being an enjoyable read, so please bear in mind that my opinions are directed more towards general readership issues, which have limited applicability in this case.

 

If you really want to drive home the effect of all this on Brian, doing so in the dialog might be one option. He does seem to be dealing overly well, BUT, that could also be a "dam about to burst" situation too, in which case taking my suggestion would be counter-productive.

 

CJ, I think I get exactly what you're saying. It's sort of like alluding to sex without actually describing it in detail.

 

In response, I've gone back and made small changes to chapters 21-24. The details are now alluded to, rather than spelled out. You no longer have to read that Aaron smelled it - you instead read that Aaron noticed what had happened. All in all, I think you'll be satisfied by the changes and I can live with them as well.

 

As an added bonus, I've posted chapter 24 a bit early. Thanks to your suggestions, you're now spared the details of Brian's enema.

 

Thanks for your feedback - Once again, I'm a better writer for it.

[dyllane and brad]

Hi all not been too good this last few weeks due to chest infections and family death but bouncing back brad asks me to say hi for him

 

Is it me or has Brian now able to cum like normally? from chapter 24 ""Even though Aaron had already cum once that evening, it didn't take long - Aaron started pumping out spurt after spurt of his cum into the condom as Brian's spunk flew into the space between their bellies. Slowly, they came down from their high and just lay there looking into each other's eyes."

 

I'm sure he came before but it stayed in his body and had to have Aaron catheterize him quote from chapter 19 """A retrograde ejaculation. It probably went back into your bladder. Wanna check it out?"""

 

not dissing the story in any way I maybe thought maybe Brian was maybe improving or may be a typo error either way love the story still thanks for letting people know what we do go through a people in wheel chairs are often thought of as non sexual people who can no longer have sex or need sexual experiences in our lives

 

Love and hugs n kisses to you all

 

[C James]

CJ, I think I get exactly what you're saying. It's sort of like alluding to sex without actually describing it in detail.

 

Good comparison! Or, for example, a character starting a car or doing any other repetitive task; we might need to know how it's done once, but after that, mentioning it should suffice.

 

In response, I've gone back and made small changes to chapters 21-24. The details are now alluded to, rather than spelled out. You no longer have to read that Aaron smelled it - you instead read that Aaron noticed what had happened. All in all, I think you'll be satisfied by the changes and I can live with them as well.

 

I re-read them, and I'm awful at spotting changes, but they read better to me.

 

As an added bonus, I've posted chapter 24 a bit early. Thanks to your suggestions, you're now spared the details of Brian's enema.

 

Thanks for your feedback - Once again, I'm a better writer for it.

 

Thanks!

I do have some comments about Ch 24: The initial stage of the attack made me think Brian was facing a sexual assualt, which I'm betting is the perception you intended, only to ind out that they were detaining him while his car was spray-painted; something far more believable under the circumstances. I'm betting that they won't get off easy for the "prank"; there is a term for taking someone prisoner like that; kidnapping.

 

Very well done.

[Altimexis]

Is it me or has Brian now able to cum like normally? from chapter 24 ""Even though Aaron had already cum once that evening, it didn't take long - Aaron started pumping out spurt after spurt of his cum into the condom as Brian's spunk flew into the space between their bellies. Slowly, they came down from their high and just lay there looking into each other's eyes."

 

I'm sure he came before but it stayed in his body and had to have Aaron catheterize him quote from chapter 19 """A retrograde ejaculation. It probably went back into your bladder. Wanna check it out?"""

 

No, you're correct about Brian being able to cum. I think I had an explanation for this in an earlier draft that might have ended up being deleted amongst a scene that was replaced with something better for the story, but perhaps not as juicy. The fact is that the majority of paraplegic men can ejaculate with the aide of a vibrator. In fact, there are special vibrators designed just for this purpose and to help these men father children. In theory, it should be possible for men with spinal cord injuries to ejaculate from sexual stimulation - it just takes experimentation to find what works. I've probably made Brian a bit too functional, but I wanted to hold out hope.

 

not dissing the story in any way I maybe thought maybe Brian was maybe improving or may be a typo error either way love the story still thanks for letting people know what we do go through a people in wheel chairs are often thought of as non sexual people who can no longer have sex or need sexual experiences in our lives

 

And that is precisely the point of the story. Thanks for putting it so well.

[Altimexis]

The initial stage of the attack made me think Brian was facing a sexual assualt, which I'm betting is the perception you intended, only to ind out that they were detaining him while his car was spray-painted; something far more believable under the circumstances. I'm betting that they won't get off easy for the "prank"; there is a term for taking someone prisoner like that; kidnapping.

 

Technically, yes, Aaron was kidnapped, but I doubt that most law enforcement agencies would see it that way, and I doubt that Aaron would even press charges. Community service in an AIDS shelter is the right punishment for the crime. Unfortunately, we haven't heard the last of Scott McDonald.

 

Interestingly, my first draft did in fact involve a true sexual assault - just shy of anal penetration - and with it all the emotional baggage that a rape entails in a loving relationship. I decided I wanted something no less serious, but that wouldn't have quite as much of an emotional toll, particularly with what was to come.

[dyllane and brad]

wow

First impressions im stund i had to reread this chapter several time over and over each time i burst into tears

i scared right now that might happen to brad and me

well i know one thing im setting up appointments for bith of us to talk things out not saying things are bad but hell i hate to loose my babe

 

"message to Brian and Aaron hang in there guys" and good on June for letting Aaron know how both her and Allan think of him

 

love to you all xxx123 dyllsnbrad

 

''There is a destiny that makes us all Brothers,

None goes his way alone.

All that we send into the lives of others,

comes back, into our own

[C James]

Ouch, poor Arron!

 

I have long suspected that Brian was adapting far too easily, and this sort of a reaction just fits. My hunch is that at least on some levels, he's trying to "do what's best for Aaron", or, what he thinks it is. That's my best guess anyway.

 

I'm puzzled on the spinal injury issue; I thought Brain's injury was in his lower back, so I was shocked to see that it could cause quadrapalegia. I'm guessing that the pressure on the spinal column is affecting ALL of the spinal cord, hence the risk?

 

Great chapter IMHO, in spite of (or, perhaps, in part becuase of) the traumatic (cliffhanger) ending.

[Bondwriter]

Great chapter. (24 was quite good too, though it was a bit difficult to read with the mindless bullies...)

Hopefully Brian will overcome his depression as he recovers from his operation. Who may have set a trend for nasty cliff-hangers? I'd like to know.

[dyllane and brad]

Again wow this story just get better and better chapter 26 Hope & Despair

 

Poor Brian i can understand his frustrations and sense of bitterness and the need for having to push people away and the thought you failed and the feeling of being worthless but only if some how be Given a glimmer that hey Brian's life's not over although it going to stay hard and may never get better then maybe things aren't as bad as you think it might be

 

but i really feel for Aaron knowing he still loves Brian and knowing deep down Brian's on a downward spiral of self destruction and feels helpless to stop seeing his former BF suffer

 

please Brian please make it. heres keeping our fingers crossed for you both

 

well done Altimexis huggles n love to you and all the readers

 

 

dyllsnbradxxx123

Edited May 19, 2007 by dyllane and brad

[Bondwriter]

please Brian please make it. heres keeping our fingers crossed for you both

dyllsnbradxxx123

Not much to add to the above plea, that's exactly what I thought as I ended reading the chapter with this evil precipice suspender. There are lots of very intense emotions that are stirred with almost every chapter since 10.

I think it was smart to focus the narrative on Aaron for this chapter. It makes the ending more mysterious, but then now we readers will want to have a little insight into Brian's mind.

Adam is quite a protective brother.

One thing that I don't buy: Darren telling Aaron over the phone "Aaron, I've been jerking off to fantasies of you ever since we met..." He's on the phone with this guy he's been fantasizing about, but he's a young teenager, I doubt the first thing he'll tell his crush is that he jerks off. "I've been thinking/ dreaming a lot about you" seems quite a confession already.

One other thing: Darren's father calling Aaron: from my experience with American people, they are more outgoing than us, but would a parent get involved in a teenager's sentimental life like this (gay or not)?

Apart from these points, it seems the writing flows better and better.

So, yeah, please, Brian, make it, I'll keep my fingers crossed too.

[C James]

Not much to add to the above plea, that's exactly what I thought as I ended reading the chapter with this evil precipice suspender. There are lots of very intense emotions that are stirred with almost every chapter since 10.

I think it was smart to focus the narrative on Aaron for this chapter. It makes the ending more mysterious, but then now we readers will want to have a little insight into Brian's mind.

Adam is quite a protective brother.

One thing that I don't buy: Darren telling Aaron over the phone "Aaron, I've been jerking off to fantasies of you ever since we met..." He's on the phone with this guy he's been fantasizing about, but he's a young teenager, I doubt the first thing he'll tell his crush is that he jerks off. "I've been thinking/ dreaming a lot about you" seems quite a confession already.

One other thing: Darren's father calling Aaron: from my experience with American people, they are more outgoing than us, but would a parent get involved in a teenager's sentimental life like this (gay or not)?

Apart from these points, it seems the writing flows better and better.

So, yeah, please, Brian, make it, I'll keep my fingers crossed too.

 

I've said it before and I'll say it again; Adam is one of my favorites in this story.

 

I totally, 100% agree with you on Darren's "Jerking off" statement. Under the circumstances, that's bizzare to say the least. Given Darren's later behavior, though, I find it believable in one possible context; I think Darren is shaping up to be a psycho-stalker of some kind. He certainly reads that way to me.

 

As for a parent getting involved, I have seen the parents of straight kids act like that, or worse, so to me that came across as believable.

 

And yes, that was a wicked cliffie, Altimexis.

[Altimexis]

I totally, 100% agree with you on Darren's "Jerking off" statement. Under the circumstances, that's bizzare to say the least. Given Darren's later behavior, though, I find it believable in one possible context; I think Darren is shaping up to be a psycho-stalker of some kind. He certainly reads that way to me.

 

As for a parent getting involved, I have seen the parents of straight kids act like that, or worse, so to me that came across as believable.

 

You'll have to read the sequel, Out on a Limb, to get the lowdown on Darren and his family, but suffice it to say that they have 'issues'. What they did in this chapter is totally in-character for them.

 

A.

[dyllane and brad]

You'll have to read the sequel, Out on a Limb, to get the lowdown on Darren and his family, but suffice it to say that they have 'issues'. What they did in this chapter is totally in-character for them.

 

is it up ? yet dyllsnbradxxx123 huggles to everyone

[Altimexis]

is it up ? yet dyllsnbradxxx123 huggles to everyone

 

It isn't even written yet. Don't expect to see anything for several months. I'll keep everyone posted.

[dyllane and brad]

Chapter 27, Truth & Reconciliation,

yet another awesome chapter.

 

Im glad the cliff hanger police :2hands: managed to to do thier job (lol)

Yay for Brian & Aarron. I'm so glad the guys are back together

 

and it's also good to see Darren also finding Jeff again too.

 

However I can't shake the feeling that he will cause problems for our boys either directly or indirectly?

 

I also dont like the sound of darren's dad either he makes my skin crawl (oooooh cold shiver down my body) or is it just me who feels this way i know Altimexis hinted they were strange but wow talk about bad feelings.

Anyway love n huggles as always

 

Dyllsnbrad xxx123

''There is a destiny that makes us all Brothers,

None goes his way alone.

All that we send into the lives of others,

comes back, into our own

Edited May 26, 2007 by dyllane and brad

[Bondwriter]

yet another awesome chapter.

 

Im glad the cliff hanger police :2hands: managed to to do thier job (lol)

Well, the endless PM harassment and the anonymous letters seem to have worked all right.

There's still the liver problem that has to be dealt with, and the adoption issue, so though Brian and Aaron are back together, there are still bumps on the road ahead... And for the 64 years (at least) they vowed to share together.

[Bondwriter]

Chapter 28 makes me feel the story is coming to a close, and that Aaron and Brian are eventually taking off to new heights in their lives. I still wonder if Brian is not going to suffer from liver problems, but only time will tell (well, this and the author ) It's nice to see them enjoy a vacation together, though it's a bit sad (and it gets you to thinking) they have to go to a resort like Disney World not because of a deliberate choice but because it's a wheelchair-friendly place.

[dyllane and brad]

chapter 28

 

dyllane and brad Title: Recovery

 

Awww it nice to see that Aaron really is starting to recover That boy sure had us worried for a time.you know the saddest thing is that young people like "Jimmy" are taught by family and friends it's ok to be hurtful towards gay people and aren't actually taught that we are not freaks and we also have feelings too. I hope that "Jimmy's" mom has a talk with him and his friends when they get home. I also hope she is able to right the wrong that the boy has obviously been taught Awww it nice to see that Aaron really is starting to recover

 

That boy sure had us worried for a time.

 

you know the saddest thing is that young people like "Jimmy" are taught by family and friends it's ok to be hurtful towards gay people and aren't actually taught that we are not freaks and we also have feelings too. I hope that "Jimmy's" mom has a talk with him and his friends when they get home. I also hope she is able to right the wrong that the boy has obviously been taught

 

love n huggles everyone xxx123

Edited June 7, 2007 by dyllane and brad