Bisexuality: thoughts and opinions.

[AFriendlyFace]

Hi everyone,

 

The following quotes are from the If your S.O. cheated thread, but I wanted to discuss bisexuality in more depth so I thought it would be good to create a new thread.

 

If your boyfriend ever cheated on you with a woman, or better yet ran off and married one, you might find it as appalling as I do.

 

He had the nerve to be surprised when I wouldn't f*** him because he was married.

 

I don't do Bi. Never, ever, ever.

I'm so sorry, James

 

I agree that it's ridiculous for him to expect you not to be upset about that and to continue the relationship!! That's awful

 

Amen to that.

And what's wrong with bi's? *evil-eye*

There's nothing wrong with you being bi, but to the exclusively gay of us, you don't make good S.O. material.

 

Why would I want to commit to a long term relationship with someone who may bail on me when he does 'figure out his identity' is to be with a lady?

 

Hmmm, I'm definitely on Robbie's side in this one. Of course, Vic, you wouldn't want to commit to someone you thought might run off and be with a lady, but surely you wouldn't want to commit to someone who might run off and be with another man either?

 

Over and over again, especially in the gay community, I find that there's a general distrust of bisexuals. People seem to think that just because someone is "bisexual" they have to be simultaneously involved in a sexual relationship with both sexes...or want/need to be! I personally find this to be a very distasteful and offensive attitude.

 

Yes, a bisexual might leave his boyfriend to be with a woman, or he may leave his girlfriend to be with a man, but Lord knows:

-gay guys leave their boyfriends to be with other guys

-straight guys leave their girlfriends to be with other women

-lesbians leave their girlfriends to be with other women

-and straight girls leave their boyfriends to be with other men.

 

It happens and it sucks big time However, I really don't think I bisexual is anymore likely to do it than anyone else. A bisexual is someone who is attracted to both genders, period. Well If you're attracted to guys and you enter into a serious, monogamous relationship with your boyfriend are you suddenly going to stop being attracted to other guys? I don't think so. The point is that you've decided not to sleep with any of them. Well if a bisexual enters a relationship he/she (should) make that same decision, and if they do any failure is simply human nature versus an inherent flaw with bisexuality, in my opinion.

 

The prevailing attitude here (not here specifically, but society in general) seems to be that bisexuality doesn't really exist. That bisexuals simply haven't "worked it out" yet. That one day your bisexual boyfriend will wake up and say "whoaa, turns out I'm straight!". Well if that happens he wasn't bisexual to begin with, he was sexually confused and for whatever reason thought he had an enduring attraction to guys, and you specifically, when he didn't. It's just like the "bisexual" guys who get married to a woman thinking "I'll just ignore the gay side of myself and focus on my attraction to women". Well, if those guys eventually find that they ARE gay, then IMO, they weren't bisexual to begin with, they were just deluding themselves.

 

Yes, a bisexual guy may choose to be with a woman in the first place because it's "easier" or he may eventually decide to leave his boyfriend and date a woman because again "it's easier", but again, IMO, that's about him, and the relationship, not about bisexuality.

 

Frankly I don't want to be with a guy who's with me because he has to be. Because he's gay and can't date a woman. I don't want him thinking "well this is nice but it's ashame I'm not straight". I want him to be with me because he wants to be with me. Because he considers himself blessed (or "fortunate" if you like) to have found this relationship. If he'd rather date a woman in the first place, regardless of whether he's bi or gay, then I don't want to be with him plain and simple. If he can't be happy about his attraction to me and not want to change it or take an easier route, then I don't have time for him anyway.

 

If he's attracted to me and committed to making the relationship work, then I don't care who else he's attracted to: he's with me.

 

So what do you guys think about this topic? What are you opinions? Would you date a bisexual? Why or why not?

 

Obviously I voted "yes".

 

I don't want it to seem like I'm overly vocal about this and refuse to consider other opinions. I feel strongly about it, but actually I really really want to hear what other people think.

 

Take care everyone, and have an awesome day!

Kevin

Edited November 30, 2007 by AFriendlyFace

[Menzoberranzen]

I am going to say something that people will yell at me for, but it's something I've observed. Most (not all!) guys who claim to be bisexual enjoy sex with both genders, but only have relationships with one. That, to me, is trying to have your cake and eat it too. People use bisexuality as a stepping stone to gay, and others use it as an excuse to have sex with whomever they please, but I've met very few people who have had (semi) longterm relationships with partners of both genders. This is obviously not true for every guy, but it's something I've observed with regularity. I knew a guy in college who was a, um, friend with benefits who claimed to be bi. In the five years we've known each other, he's never dated a man.

 

Even if I'm incorrect in saying most, it's undeniably true for some of the population and I really don't care to waste a few months of my life with someone who's either masquerading as someone they're not or who has no intention of having an actual relationship with a man.

 

Of course, the list of people I wouldn't date includes 95%< of the gay population as well, so feel free to label me as judgmental.

 

Menzo

[Benji]

I am going to say something that people will yell at me for, but it's something I've observed. Most (not all!) guys who claim to be bisexual enjoy sex with both genders, but only have relationships with one. That, to me, is trying to have your cake and eat it too. People use bisexuality as a stepping stone to gay, and others use it as an excuse to have sex with whomever they please, but I've met very few people who have had (semi) longterm relationships with partners of both genders. This is obviously not true for every guy, but it's something I've observed with regularity. I knew a guy in college who was a, um, friend with benefits who claimed to be bi. In the five years we've known each other, he's never dated a man.

 

Even if I'm incorrect in saying most, it's undeniably true for some of the population and I really don't care to waste a few months of my life with someone who's either masquerading as someone they're not or who has no intention of having an actual relationship with a man.

 

Of course, the list of people I wouldn't date includes 95%< of the gay population as well, so feel free to label me as judgmental.

 

Menzo

 

 

........Ack!! your barking up my tree, but seriously I am Bi, had many "early encounters", but once I married........I have never strayed (going on 25 years)

[NaperVic]

Hmmm, I'm definitely on Robbie's side in this one. Of course, Vic, you wouldn't want to commit to someone you thought might run off and be with a lady, but surely you wouldn't want to commit to someone who might run off and be with another man either?

 

Over and over again, especially in the gay community, I find that there's a general distrust of bisexuals. People seem to think that just because someone is "bisexual" they have to be simultaneously involved in a sexual relationship with both sexes...or want/need to be! I personally find this to be a very distasteful and offensive attitude.

 

Yes, a bisexual might leave his boyfriend to be with a woman, or he may leave his girlfriend to be with a man, but Lord knows:

-gay guys leave their boyfriends to be with other guys

-straight guys leave their girlfriends to be with other women

-lesbians leave their girlfriends to be with other women

-and straight girls leave their boyfriends to be with other men.

 

Kevin,

 

I'm trying not to sound naive and don't get me wrong, I do believe & know that some gay guys leave their BFs for other guys. However, I try to find the guy(s) who won't do that.

 

It was hard enough worrying about an S.O. finding interest in another guy, but dating a Bi-Guy just means that you have to worry about him finding interest in women too. The population of potential homewreckers just doubled (if not tripled or quadrupled!).

 

 

I personally wouldn't want to date a Bi-Guy, to me, it's just asking for more trouble. One day he's going to want to scratch the hetero itch. Sure, he may be monogamous to me whilst we are together, but is he truly happy? Is he truly complete?

 

"Hey Vic, we had a good couple of years, I'm going to date Mary now."

 

When I look for a potential partner, I'm looking for the long run...for better & worse, sickness & health, death do you part, yada yada. I'm not only looking for monogamous until we break up, I'm looking for the long/long term committment. And I want someone to be with me because they want to, not out of obligation or loyalty. I want them to complete me, & for me to complete them.

 

Vic

[AFriendlyFace]

I am going to say something that people will yell at me for, but it's something I've observed. Most (not all!) guys who claim to be bisexual enjoy sex with both genders, but only have relationships with one. That, to me, is trying to have your cake and eat it too. People use bisexuality as a stepping stone to gay, and others use it as an excuse to have sex with whomever they please, but I've met very few people who have had (semi) longterm relationships with partners of both genders. This is obviously not true for every guy, but it's something I've observed with regularity. I knew a guy in college who was a, um, friend with benefits who claimed to be bi. In the five years we've known each other, he's never dated a man.

 

Even if I'm incorrect in saying most, it's undeniably true for some of the population and I really don't care to waste a few months of my life with someone who's either masquerading as someone they're not or who has no intention of having an actual relationship with a man.

 

Of course, the list of people I wouldn't date includes 95%< of the gay population as well, so feel free to label me as judgmental.

 

Menzo

I definitely agree with everything you said, Menzo, and I think your observations are probably correct. I think that a great deal of bisexual people choose to have a long-term relationship with one or the other gender out of ease/convenience.

 

I guess what I'm getting at for example is hypothetically if your friend with benefits situation had had the potential to turn into something more serious would you have let it?

 

Once the bisexual person makes the decision to be in the serious relationship I wouldn't hold the bisexuality against them. I agree with you that often they simply don't make that decision at all with regards to one of the genders.

 

Anyway, I admit that I'm "bi-curious" myself. I don't consider myself bisexual by my definition, but under some people's I am. Would I enter a serious relationship with a woman? Hypothetically of course I would! I would consider it very hypocritical not to. In practical terms though I think it would probably be very unwise for me to do that since my attraction to women is usually transitory and of a less intense nature than it is with guys. So I probably won't "date" a woman.

 

........Ack!! your barking up my tree, but seriously I am Bi, had many "early encounters", but once I married........I have never strayed (going on 25 years)

Way go go, Benji!! Good for you!

 

-Kevin

[AFriendlyFace]

Sorry, I cross-posted with Vic

 

It was hard enough worrying about an S.O. finding interest in another guy, but dating a Bi-Guy just means that you have to worry about him finding interest in women too. The population of potential homewreckers just doubled (if not tripled or quadrupled!).

Well, from that perspective it certainly makes sense. I just wouldn't want to be with someone I felt like I had to "keep an eye on" anyway, so I don't think I would be concerned by how many people he was attracted to.

 

I personally wouldn't want to date a Bi-Guy, to me, it's just asking for more trouble. One day he's going to want to scratch the hetero itch. Sure, he may be monogamous to me whilst we are together, but is he truly happy? Is he truly complete?

Hmm, so does that mean you think that it's equally as much trouble for a woman to date a bi-guy? Do you think one day he's going to want to scratch the homo itch? Is he truly happy? Is he truly complete?

 

If you think the answers to the questions are: yes, yes, no, and no respectively then I personally disagree with you (to me this would be no different than asking if he's unhappy because he can't sleep with other guys), but I think that's fair and I can definitely see your point. If however, you think that's it's only when the bi-guy is in a gay relationship that these problems exist then I definitely think that's a cruddy double standard and implies that gay relationships are some how less satisfying and fulfilling than straight ones

 

When I look for a potential partner, I'm looking for the long run...for better & worse, sickness & health, death do you part, yada yada. I'm not only looking for monogamous until we break up, I'm looking for the long/long term committment. And I want someone to be with me because they want to, not out of obligation or loyalty. I want them to complete me, & for me to complete them.

Amen to that!

 

 

Take care everyone and have a great day!

-Kevin

[FrenchCanadian]

Over and over again, especially in the gay community, I find that there's a general distrust of bisexuals. People seem to think that just because someone is "bisexual" they have to be simultaneously involved in a sexual relationship with both sexes...or want/need to be! I personally find this to be a very distasteful and offensive attitude.

 

Kevin, I totally agree with you on this one, It's really not because you're bi and in a relationship with a guy that you gonna every while have an affair with a girl on the side, and the other way is true.

 

personally, I find that I fall in love with the person rather than the sex. So, in my case, I just know that I can be in couple with another guy and not having the need to be looking to have sex with a girl.

 

If however, you think that's it's only when the bi-guy is in a gay relationship that these problems exist then I definitely think that's a cruddy double standard and implies that gay relationships are some how less satisfying and fulfilling than straight ones

 

It's almost offensive when straight people will say about gays that they can't be committed to another guy without fooling around with other. So saying that bi guys in relationship will eventually need to have sex with a girl to ease an unfilled need is just as much offensive. Unfaithful people always happens, in both gender, but please it's not that we're gay or bi that we're unfaithful.

[C James]

I voted "yes".

 

For me, it would depend on the person. A gay guy can be unfaithful too, so I don't see that much of a difference per se. If the Bi guy was of the opinion that being bi entitled them to date two people (one of each gender, as a few do) then hell no, same as a gay guy who was unwilling to commit to having one partner.

 

I don't see being Bi as an indicator, in and of itself, of unfaithfulness.

 

That said, I take an exceedingly strong dislike of those who feel that being Bi is an excuse to date two people. It's not, any more than being gay (or straight) is an excuse to date multiple partners at the same time.

[Demetz]

My last boyfriend was bisexual and left me to be with his lesbian ex-girlfriend. That's not uncommon apparently... at least the going back to a girlfriend part. I was warned over and over again that dating a bisexual guy was just asking to be hurt. I always told myself they were wrong, that my boyfriend loved me and he'd never leave me like that. Well... I was wrong and they were right.

 

I realize this can't be generalized to all bisexual guys, but from other gay guys I've talked to, the story of Gay guy meets bi guy; Gay guy falls in love with bi guy; Bi guy breaks up with and rips Gay guys' heart to pieces so he can be with a girl.... isn't an uncommon one.

 

Am I swearing off bi guys now? Not yet. In fact the new guy I'm interested in describes himself as previously asexual, now bisexual. Gee... that sounds familiar. Oh well... we'll see what happens.

[TalonRider]

........Ack!! your barking up my tree, but seriously I am Bi, had many "early encounters", but once I married........I have never strayed (going on 25 years)

You're one of the rare ones then Benji.

 

I have to agree, that some want their cake, and to eat it too. My experience with Bi's is thru some of the dating sites out there. I hear those groans. Some of the hits I've gotten are bi's looking for one thing and one thing only, and it's not a relationship.

 

I mentioned in the S.O. some about an ex of mine. To make a long story short, I was in a two year relationship with a straight man, not gay, not bi. I guess you could say someone in his late teens early twenties, he was still questioning.

[Thirdeye]

Yes i would. A faithful guy is a faithful guy, it really shouldn

[AFriendlyFace]

personally, I find that I fall in love with the person rather than the sex. So, in my case, I just know that I can be in couple with another guy and not having the need to be looking to have sex with a girl.

That's awesome! I don't think I'm quite that way...in fact actually I'm a bit picky, but I definitely think that when you're in love stuff like gender, race, background, etc. shouldn't matter. Of course I realize that that's just a romantic ideal and difficult to put into practice in everyday life.

 

It's almost offensive when straight people will say about gays that they can't be committed to another guy without fooling around with other. So saying that bi guys in relationship will eventually need to have sex with a girl to ease an unfilled need is just as much offensive. Unfaithful people always happens, in both gender, but please it's not that we're gay or bi that we're unfaithful.

Exactly!

 

If the Bi guy was of the opinion that being bi entitled them to date two people (one of each gender, as a few do) then hell no, same as a gay guy who was unwilling to commit to having one partner.

I quite agree here too!

 

My last boyfriend was bisexual and left me to be with his lesbian ex-girlfriend. That's not uncommon apparently... at least the going back to a girlfriend part. I was warned over and over again that dating a bisexual guy was just asking to be hurt. I always told myself they were wrong, that my boyfriend loved me and he'd never leave me like that. Well... I was wrong and they were right.

Aww I'm sorry Demetz

 

If it's not too intrusive, what about the fact that she is a lesbian (and not also bisexual), doesn't that present a problem? LOL, it's ashame gay guys and lesbians can't date. Some of my best (platonic) relationships have been with lesbians.

 

Am I swearing off bi guys now? Not yet. In fact the new guy I'm interested in describes himself as previously asexual, now bisexual. Gee... that sounds familiar. Oh well... we'll see what happens.

Good Luck!

 

 

-Kevin

[Demetz]

If it's not too intrusive, what about the fact that she is a lesbian (and not also bisexual), doesn't that present a problem? LOL, it's ashame gay guys and lesbians can't date. Some of my best (platonic) relationships have been with lesbians.

 

Considering that he just wrote me a letter saying that he won't ever talk to me again because I'm too closed minded to his situation... your guess is as good as mine as to what good he thinks will come of being with her.

[Myk]

Is it just me or is this whole conversation just a practice of stereotyping. Honestly I'm kinda annoyed with this!

 

Sure I understand that a lot of 'questioning' people will call themselves bisexual until they find out who they are and then call themselves something else. I also get that a bisexual technically has almost a whole world of 'possible mates' but you can't simply label every bisexual because of something one, two, half or even 99% of others in a similar situation would do.

 

Me? Yes, I label myself a bisexual. For me I don't particularily search for a specific sex (male/female) in a potential significant other and I certainly don't seek people out simply for a sexual act of any kind to fill some 'void' or 'hetero itch' whatever you want to call it. I ideally would like to be friends with someone first to see how our personalities mesh and if things develop into anything then they do, if that person is a girl, a guy or whatever.

 

I do understand that many bisexuals may not be a safe bet for most people, but then again a lot of gay/lesbian/straight people turn out to be a mistake as well. I just hope that when true love does come along no one will be closed to it simply because the other person is different in anyway weather they are bi, gay, lesbian, white, black, of a different religion whateve. Although I know it isn't a perfect world and no one is perfect.

 

Still I don't think this type of stereotyping is fair or even the right thing to do.

 

Greg

[NaperVic]

Is it just me or is this whole conversation just a practice of stereotyping.

 

Stereotyping? Judgemental? To a degree, yes . However, if I make the statement that 'I wouldn't date a priest...too many issues', would you be miffed at that too?

 

I think we all have some criteria as to who we want as a significant other. Those criteria could be physical features (body types), Tops or Bottoms, Racial, income levels, age groups, and whether they are exclusively gay or Bi.

 

Now maybe my criteria is too restrictive (thus explaining my single status), but it's what I like. You go with the Friends First thing, and I'll go with the Gay Only thing .

 

Take Care®,

 

Vic

[Liddy]

Ehhm, yeah, I agree with most of you... now here's my two cents.

 

First of all:

 

THANKS KEVIN FOR STARTING A TOPIC LIKE THIS

 

I don't really like to think of myself of anything like bi- hetero or somethingsexual, so I just won't. But I will say that I have had realtionships with women, that I have been faithful and that it (while it was good and lasted) was satisfying. I don't like to think of myself as indecicive - just as open minded.

[Ieshwar]

Of course, yes!

 

I haven;t read the posts yet. But I saw that you believe that the bi tend to ditch the gay and go and get married.

 

Hello!!!

 

Haven't heard of gays who get married? Believe that's even more awful! I have met such a person online. After 5 years of relationship, his bf had to leave him and get married.

 

And insecurity exists in all relationship. Who says that the gay won't leave you for someone else?

 

And do you really mean by bi? I'm like 99% gay and 1% str8. So does this make me bi? What if I meet a girl in that 1% who'll make me happy?

 

Ieshwar

[Dezlboi]

This thread makes me feel sad. I hope that's not silly.

 

It's just...I don't know. I sort of feel...judged.

 

I fall in love with people, I stay faithful and monogamous because I feel that's right and respectful. If I'm not getting what I need in a relationship and I can't work it out with my partner, then we would end it, I would not stray. I've been in a long relationship with a girl. I've been in an even longer relationship with a guy. Both of them ended when one or the other of us realized it wasn't working. Never a happy thing, but it was the right thing to do at the time.

 

I worry about starting new relationships because of this sort of potential for judgement. If I meet a terrific woman, I don't know up front if she'll be freaked out that I'm not entirely straight. I feel trapped; do I tell her on the first date? Seems like too much information too fast. Or do I wait until I'm sure we have a deep connection, and risk the backlash of telling her after she already loves me? These same scenarios mostly also apply to men.

 

Any gay or straight person who thinks that bi people have more options for relationships, and gay people who pretend to be bi because it's easier on them or some sort of transition, don't know that being truly bisexual can be incredibly isolating. With the exception of truly open-minded people, you don't get love from both sides, you get rejection.

 

I'm at a point in my life now where I'm starting to accept that I have things to offer as a person. I'm reasonably intelligent, I have a few skills, I'm not terrible-looking, I have a solid sense of right and wrong and a good grasp on what things are important in life, to me at least. Getting past my fears and trusting in my good qualities to attract a permanent mate has never been easy for me, but I'm getting there. But this thread... I mean, perhaps it's unfair, but I always expected a community like GA, made up of so many people who have been pre-judged, stereotyped, labeled, and looked down upon would be less likely to do so to others. And yet it seems like many people here who self-identify as gay are stereotyping as much as ignorant straight people do to the gay community.

 

I am unique. I'm not gay, or straight, or bi because none of those words capture or explain who or what I am or how I feel.

 

I am unique.

 

I am Jeff.

 

If that puts me outside of your dating criteria before you even know me, I am disappointed.

 

-D

[Tarin]

I've put off reading this thread for the whole day because I thought it would look like this. I guess my views are best expressed through

[rknapp]

I agree wholeheartedly with the above two posts. It seems very hypocritical when gays and lesbians fight straight people for their rights, and then turn around and bash bi-sexuals because they are different. Bi-sexuals have it the worst, being hated by EVERYONE!

 

It is also very discouraging that I, a virgin who has NEVER had a solid relationship (excluding that 6 mo. fling in the 7th grade), will likely never have the chance to do either. Why? Apparently no gay man will touch me, and no straight woman will touch me, solely because of the stereotype that I'll leave them for the other sex. Gee, I didn't realize I had that track record... oh wait, I f**kING DON'T!

 

I won't deny that bi-sexuals have abandoned their relationships for the atypical gender, but they aren't the only ones who do that. Did anyone ever stop to think that maybe they just didn't offer what the other person wanted? Excluding body parts, maybe Demetz just didn't have something that the ex-girlfriend had. Guess what, just because your relationship is different from the norm doesn't mean that it's immune from the common act of going back to a previous lover. Have you never seen one of those crappy romance chick-flicks? Going back to an ex-lover, running after a hotter catch, cheating, wanting something else, all of these things are common and blanket every type of relationship in the known universe, and probably in the unknown as well.

 

 

So, what do I have to say to those who would never date a bi-sexual or someone in the closet? Get over yourself, and try being open-minded for a spell, prick.

[AFriendlyFace]

I do understand that many bisexuals may not be a safe bet for most people, but then again a lot of gay/lesbian/straight people turn out to be a mistake as well. I just hope that when true love does come along no one will be closed to it simply because the other person is different in anyway weather they are bi, gay, lesbian, white, black, of a different religion whateve. Although I know it isn't a perfect world and no one is perfect.

 

Still I don't think this type of stereotyping is fair or even the right thing to do.

I very much agree with your hopes regarding true love, Greg. Personally I can't imagine why those things should make a difference either. As for the stereotyping thing, well I started this thread in an attempt to sort of give bisexuality some good press and maybe give people some new things to talk about. I hope that that hasn't instead turned into something negative

 

 

Ehhm, yeah, I agree with most of you... now here's my two cents.

 

First of all:

 

THANKS KEVIN FOR STARTING A TOPIC LIKE THIS

 

I don't really like to think of myself of anything like bi- hetero or somethingsexual, so I just won't. But I will say that I have had realtionships with women, that I have been faithful and that it (while it was good and lasted) was satisfying. I don't like to think of myself as indecicive - just as open minded.

Aww thanks, Liddy! And I agree, with you, I'm pretty open minded, but actually I consider myself very decisive.

 

Haven't heard of gays who get married? Believe that's even more awful! I have met such a person online. After 5 years of relationship, his bf had to leave him and get married.

Well, I definitely think that this is a very complicated issue. It's a bit easier for this generation, but in the past there was so much societal/familial pressure on gay guys to hide it and just marry and try to fit themselves into cookie cutter straight people that, while I think it's very unfortunate and sad, I can't really condemn them for it. Of course I understand that things are even more difficult in your neck of the woods

 

In any case I applaud heartily for your courage and integrity, Ieshwar!

 

I'm at a point in my life now where I'm starting to accept that I have things to offer as a person. I'm reasonably intelligent, I have a few skills, I'm not terrible-looking, I have a solid sense of right and wrong and a good grasp on what things are important in life, to me at least. Getting past my fears and trusting in my good qualities to attract a permanent mate has never been easy for me, but I'm getting there. But this thread... I mean, perhaps it's unfair, but I always expected a community like GA, made up of so many people who have been pre-judged, stereotyped, labeled, and looked down upon would be less likely to do so to others. And yet it seems like many people here who self-identify as gay are stereotyping as much as ignorant straight people do to the gay community.

Well said, Jeff!

 

And I thought the gay community would be open minded.

I'm sorry for you plight, Tarin

 

Unfortunately to be honest I didn't hold out much hope that a random sampling of the gay community (even one taken from GA) would be any more accepting of bisexuality. In fact if anything I've been pleasantly surprised.

 

So, what do I have to say to those who would never date a bi-sexual or someone in the closet? Get over yourself, and try being open-minded for a spell, prick.

Gee Robbie, tell us what you think

 

Actually though, please do lay off calling members of our community pricks Let's keep this civil.

 

**puts on his rose-coloured glasses**

 

Actually though, I do want to point out that the results of this poll really aren't so bad in terms of acceptance of bisexuality. Currently we have 17 "yeses" and only 6 "no's". That means that nearly 3x as many members of our community wouldn't have a problem dating a bisexual as would. Additionally, those in the minority haven't expressed a dislike or non-acceptance of bisexual people. Most have simply said that they personally wouldn't want to date them. Several have even implied that they would readily befriend them, or even have non-serious flings with them. So I really don't think the prognosis is all that bad, indeed it is more promising in terms of acceptance than I had anticipated. I don't see why we can't respect that some people simply don't want to have a serious relationship with bisexuals.

 

Indeed, while several here have expressed fear or outrage that they won't be able to find a mate because of this type of "biphobia", they should actually be heartened in the knowledge that approximately 3/4ths of the gay population would NOT rule them out. I also assume that an even higher percentage of bisexuals would accept their bisexual peers (and look at the surprisingly high number of individuals in this thread who don't consider themselves straight up gay or straight!). As for straight people...well I would guess that the willingness to date level would be a bit lower, but I'm sure some would be fine with it.

 

So take heart my bisexual/questioning/non-label identifying friends!

 

-Kevin (who considers himself "gay" for the record)

[rknapp]

I understand what you're saying with the statistics so far Kevin, but as a person who views the glass as half-empty, I view that result as saying that 25% of the gay population refuses to date me simply because of my sexuality (such as it is), and that is both startling and disgusting.

 

I had more nasty terms to use in place of prick, so consider the usage of the word "prick" to be me holding back, as hard as that is. Let's hope that I can keep this clear of my blog or I might just go all out.

[AFriendlyFace]

I had more nasty terms to use in place of prick, so consider the usage of the word "prick" to be me holding back, as hard as that is. Let's hope that I can keep this clear of my blog or I might just go all out.

Well actually, your blog would be a much better place to vent about it lol

[C James]

I understand what you're saying with the statistics so far Kevin, but as a person who views the glass as half-empty, I view that result as saying that 25% of the gay population refuses to date me simply because of my sexuality (such as it is), and that is both startling and disgusting.

 

The criteria a person uses for dating are, IMHO, their own buisness; I know people who won't date people based on astrological sign, and I also know some who won't date certain races or certain age groups, and another refuses to date redheads, etc.

 

I know I'd be reluctant (as opposed to "never") to date a Bi guy who was closeted about his gay side, due to having seen so many in that situation choose marriage to a woman as an easier way to go than having to "deal with" prejudice, etc, of being "gay". I'd likely avoid dating someone in that situation for the same reason I'd avoid dating anyone whom I thought likely to end the relationship.

 

I'd absolutely never date someone who wanted to have more than one partner at one time. That's my main "never", and I don't care of they are Bi and wanting to date a girl, or gay and wanting to see other guys; no way. Nothing against people who have that preferencee, but it's not for me.

 

While I do personally disagree with a no-bi criteria (I find it to be stereotyping, something that I find surprising to see in the gay community, due to it being so oft victimized by it) I have no choice but to support a person's right to have any dating criteria (assuming the relationship would not be between a minor and an adult) they so wish. After all, the whole point of seeking equality for us other-than-straight types is so we can date whom we wish.

 

I'm in a very-often-excluded class myself; I'm in my 30's, and a heck of a lot of guys won't date a guy who is over 30. Do I like that fact? No. Do I accept and support their right (and it is a right) to have that criteria? Of course I do.

 

That's my two cents.

[Jason Rimbaud]

I understand what you're saying with the statistics so far Kevin, but as a person who views the glass as half-empty, I view that result as saying that 25% of the gay population refuses to date me simply because of my sexuality (such as it is), and that is both startling and disgusting.

 

I had more nasty terms to use in place of prick, so consider the usage of the word "prick" to be me holding back, as hard as that is. Let's hope that I can keep this clear of my blog or I might just go all out.

 

rknapp, I wouldn't date you. Not because of your sexuality but because of your age.

 

I don't know what to call myself. I never had a girlfriend but I've always enjoyed the sex I've gotten from women. For a number of years, I had a regular F-Buddy with a female co-worker. The sex was good, mainly because it last over three years and we got to know each other's buttons. Plus she was willing to role reversal. Might I say, that's hot.

 

And yet I've had numerous boyfriends, mostly gay guys but a few bi guys, one who was only bi-curious, and one was a complete straight guy. *shudders* That was a nightmare.

 

If presented with a choice, I would always choose the guy over the girl. I like the male body better, and I damn sure like the attitude and logic that drives the male body as opposed to the emotional rollercoaster that drives the female body, which, with all respect to those ladies out there, confuse the hell out of me.

 

Does this make me gay? Does this make me Bi-Sexual? Does it make me simply a man that takes sex when he can get it?

 

I've gotten a lot of dirty looks and cold shoulders over the years because I'm vocal about my adventures with women. I find, in my experience, that gay people tend to view the world in black and white. Since they aren't interested in the female's body, then they can't understand finding a man that is more than accepting of it. But these are the same people that I wouldn't date anyway so I really don't care. Labels are for people what electric blankets are to humans. A good way to feel warm and cozy all over, but being warm doesn't make you better than anyone else.

 

Jason R.