Bleu

When you have a lover, there is so much trust and understanding between you and him/her that you can give yourself entirely to that person. You stop acting, you stop pretending; you reveal your true self. I have taken a few pictures of the kind you posted above, and I have quite a few of myself as well (yes, someone was hogging the camera ). I'm sure you will find your charming photographer.

The comments go from stupid to downright scary ("Line the gays up and shoot them in the head"). A French football player from a minor league, Yoann Lemaire, came out last year after being expelled from his team because of his sexual preferences. He got some support from the LGBT community, of course, and even the Sports Secretary sided with him. Otherwise, there have been some cases of homophobic comments and signs during football matches, but the sanction decided by the Football League was a ridiculously small fine. Still a long way to go.

Steve, I meant to thank you for that post actually. I had made a link to it in a first version of my post. Then I hit the Back button on my browser by accident and had to retype everything, and the link to your post got forgotten. So for those who haven't read it yet, go and have a look at it, since it was the first in this thread to bring a different tone to the conversation. Thanks for sharing your experience I grew up being so scared of AIDS. During my formative years, say around 1985-1993, the equation was simply Gay = AIDS = Death. I blame that climate of fear for making me utterly unable to realise I was gay for the longest time. Although the AIDS epidemics is far from over, and still requires our utmost attention, it has now become possible to discuss it.

Congratulations to the winners and to the nominees I won't surprise anyone by saying that there are some amazing stories and some no less amazing writers on this site.

Paris, France, where I work. This is actually the Passerelle des Arts (the Arts Footbridge) over the Seine. I sometimes take my lunch break there. It's commonly dubbed the Lovers' bridge because lovers attach a locker with their names engraved on it to the bridge's railings. A lonely rower on the Grand Canal in the Versailles Palace gardens. I went running there on Sunday as I often do when the weather is nice. During the summer the park is packed with tourists but last Sunday it was only a few degrees above freezing, hence the lonely rower.

Thanks for your reply, Tipdin. You seem to have had a lucky escape. The help you provided your friends with is highly commendable, but I also understand that you do not wish to repeat that painful experience. I am not saying that I would blindly go into that kind of relationship, but unlike previously, I would at least give it some thought. Whereas, if you had asked me a few months ago, like Tet and Trevor, my answer would have been a big No. Experience has changed me somewhat.

I read this thread months ago but didn't comment at the time since I didn't see it as relevant to my situation. Had I done so, my answer would have been No. Today, however, my response might turn into a "Yes, provided that...". What made me reflect upon this is the fact that I recently learned that the guy I dated over the last two months is HIV+. This came as a surprise, since he lives a completely normal life, if you discount the medication at night. I shared the life of someone with cancer for a few years, so I know that people with a potentially lethal disease yearn for normality. My first reaction, when he told me the news, was to ask how he was, how he dealt with it. He gave me some reassuring answers. Even if things were not perfect, I nevetherless had some feelings for him at this point of our relationship, and I didn't want him to think I would outright reject him because of his HIV status. Now, we broke up last week, mainly because of incompatibilities unrelated to his health. But I must admit that the news helped me speed up my decission process, especially the fact that he only told me about this after we had ended up in bed together. Knowing what we have done, I am not overly worried about my health, and will go have my regular test when it is due. I am not exempt of responsability, of course. I was, if not careless, then probably not as careful as I should have been. I have learned a lesson. Although things didn't work out with this particular guy, it made me realise that I might consider entering in an exclusive relationship with a guy who is HIV+, provided he had told me upfront and clearly made every effort to protect the both of us at all times (two things I didn't get this time).

I'm really in a mind to not try getting a boyfriend for a while. Dating is such a confusing affair! So far this year, I dated this one guy, whom I met over a dating website. I don't multidate, like some people do. I like to concentrate on one objective, and I do trust that the other guy is doing the same. We had many things in common, never ran out of conversation, have pretty similar outlooks on life. The fact that we are both bi-lingual French-English was a definite plus. After meeting him for the first time, I was aware that he was not quite my type: a little too effeminate for my taste and way too gay-looking for my straight-looking/straight-acting personna. But we hit it off on so many intellectual levels that I decided to let things run their course and to continue the relationship. After all, I have been known to fall in love with a person who was not necessarily my type (i.e. a woman! ) and subsequently have 12 years of perfect happiness which only ended with her untimely death. Also, I thought that maybe I was still a bit squeamish about living the gay lifestyle and that this guy, who is clearly much more confident about it than I am, could help me assert myself. So I went into that relationship half-heartedly, but willing to give it a chance. Recipe for disaster I should have known: where were the stomach butterflies I should have felt every time I thought about him? Where was the urge to call him every hour? To buy him a gift? To suggest we go see a movie? Then a few weeks ago he sent me a text saying that we needed to talk. And I thought "Huh hoh, he's going to complain, and rightly so, that I'm not giving 100% to this relationship, that I'm not committed enough, that I'm letting myself float about at the mercy of outside forces, like a ball at the top of a wave". Well, he had something entirely different on his mind. He told me that he had meant to tell me before but was afraid of my reaction: he's HIV+. This is a story I told there. I think I reacted appropriately at the time, unwilling to crush him there and then. And frankly I really didn't feel like crushing his hopes. However, after talking about it with some GA friends, I came to realise the dangers he made me go through by not telling me, and also that he abused my trust. This was the catalyst, not the main reason, for our break-up. We met in a café recently and he asked me point-blank if I thought our relationship was going somewhere? My silence was much more eloquent than any word I could have said. Yeah, sometimes I'm not very good with words at all. I'm giving dating a wide berth for a while... .... unless that really cute guy that I met once.... Oh damn it!

This last chapter almost moved me to tears. Ronny's deep wish to make amends, and repair in some way — albeit too late for Edward — the errors of his youth, is commendable. His tribute to his brother via the "novel", and the preservation of the altar are also touching. I also like the way you add questions at the end of the story, thereby placing a distance between you and your narrator, questioning his motives. Thank you for all the questions your story gives rise to. I'll go ponder some of them...

Dude! Where is the normal speed version? Anyway, I can respect the "Stop feeling sorry for yourself" philosophy. It is good to be reminded of that sometimes.

Thanks for these links, Adam. You provide some very clear and compelling arguments.

Bon anniversaire, Jack

Yay! Finally, Tiggah! I knew there was a reason I woke up extra early today

Oh, that IS a sign!! @MikeL : I didn't say page 1 wasn't interesting, but it might prove... distracting

Woohoo! He gave you something, which calls for a return of the favour. Hehehe, "Spartacus" sounds gay to me In any case, thanks for the link. I just printed page 2 and I will try it next week. If it makes me look like Andy Whitfield in less than a month I'll be sure to tell you.

Massive alcohol consumption can indeed lead to amnesia, but I have my doubts as to whether someone would be able to have full-blown sex in that state at all. If your story involves young adults with no history of regualr alcohol intake, I'd say it would be more believable if it stopped somewhere no further than third base. EDIT: After reading James' link, I'm not so sure anymore....

Well, he's definitely keeping your hopes up, not crushing them. If he is as shy as you are, he will need another gentle reminder of those 5am running sessions. Or... what about a drink? Like Cia said, time to be proactive.

That's what I thought, but the way you phrased your first comment made me wonder.

There's always Battersea Bridge, Circle That'll keep you dry at least.

I'm glad to see that I wasn't the only one who was thoroughly annoyed by this guy. For some people "I don't believe in labels" might well be a cop-out strategy... or maybe just a more polite way to say "Why the heck do you care? It's none of your business". I like your idea of sexual preferences being a constant fluctuation. It is particularly true when you're young and still experimenting sexually and maturing psychologically. Later on, you pretty much know the hierarchy of your preferences. However, as you age you also need to assert your place in society and these preferences can be somewhat rearranged to something more socially suitable. I don't like to wear a label either because sexuality is not something people should judge me by. It's a personal subject, which only the closest people in my life should be privy to. Unless you're trying to hit on me, what is it to you? Now, since he likes to categorize people so much, why doesn't he go further and create many more labels: gay mostly top, gay mostly botttom, etc. With bisexual people, it lends itself to a multiplicity of possibilities. He should have some fun! I was suprised by this: do you mean that you consciously fought a natural tendency to be weak and effeminate (you just don't strike me as either of those) or do you just mean that you were always careful not to appear such because of the social stigma?

I just re-read this chapter because I need to catch up on Chap. 11. (I know, shame on me for being so late) I must admit that I would have liked to have had more background information on Dan's relationship with his family. His parents' rejection, when he comes out to them, is quite brutal, considering he is on a hospital bed after a second suicide attempt. Will we get some more on that later on? Also, the following sequence: “Why have you stayed?” - "Because we are not your parents" stopped me both times I read this chapter. Dan's uncle doesn't say "Because we are not LIKE your parents", so I almost expected him to follow this up with a "... but if we were, we would have rejected you like they just did". Which obviously is not what the uncle meant, as we later learn. It is one of my favourite chapters so far. We are starting to see the benefits that this scary alien world, full of demons and fearsome lords of unknown powers, can bring to a human like Dan. Reliving the past once through his former self's eyes and then through his victim's eyes was an interesting way to get a crescendo of shame and guilt. Forgiveness through the mediation of Owen's spirit/ghost was nice, but what I liked best was the fact that the victim turned into a protector.

This chapter sounds like a disrupted echo of chapter 1: while in chapter 1 Ronny chose to stay in his room and ponder or imagine the world outside, here Edward is a prisoner unable to get out, or unwilling to do so if he has to compromise with his father. After reading chapter 1, I expected Ronny to be the victim of prejudice and general misunderstanding, but you're leading us elsewhere. Elsewhere interesting I should add. So far, we've had a lot of brotherly resentment and misunderstanding. I am looking forward to the chapters where the brotherly love announced by the story title shows up. Keep up the good work.

Happy birthday Curti!

I must admit I like the smell of new books as well. Sniffing an e-book reader just won't be the same

catchy tune!