LemonFresh

chapter 16 Along the Wall is up and its was probably my favorite chapter so fa,r you can find it here http://www.gayauthor...nfresh/Derailed lemme know what ya think either here or in the Review section

one thing i love is not only the story but the art direction in the film if you notice the color scheme of everthing match with the title.

I was going to tell a gay joke....butt fuck it.

Its says "In soviet Russia sign reads you!" lol jk i don't truthfilly know what it says but i could'nt resist

Loved this chapter as well the ony part that confused me was when he was trying to figure out where he was from to me that would indicate that he was speaking with a diffrent dialect or accent than when he was thinking. and it just seem odd because i thought people normaly think in the same dialect as they speak. like a german person wouldent nessesarly think oh wow i speak with a german accent.(i dunno if that makes any sense or not?) but i loved it none the less. just added more to the suspense and im wanting to absolutely know more about whats happening.

"Sonnet 155" or "If Shakespear had written a porn" (By Bo Burnham) I saw the morning dew betwixt thine thighs As I removed my source of Grecian power As if King Midas dared to touch the skies Upon thy body fell a golden shower Thy body's temples, two church bells had rung Upon thy chest, a row of pearls bestowed The sun had set, thy set with wary hung I thought, "How black a night and blew a lode" I said, "What light through yonder beaver breaks? It is the yeast" And now my belly's yellow My pole gives cause to storms and earthy quakes But 'tis not massive, I am no Othello And when that final moment came to pass Like Christ I came-a riding on an ass Thank you very much

So.any guys going Yonder? (it works if your in the south lol) PENIS

I love the Mystery feel this has right from the beginning you raise a ton of questions, questions which i am now wanting to have answered lol. great opening scene to really hook the readers.

Chapter 2 is now up you can find it here https://www.gayauthors.org/story/lemonfresh/damagedgoods please let me know what ya think either here in in the reviews spot. i really appreciate any feedback you can give.

frpm what i understand she isent a actual character the tech demo was just to give people a feel of the tone and the world but not the actual story. now she may come into play at some point but shes not the main character.

ive only ever drank once and learnd......i hate the taste of Alcohol of any kind. seriously it all just taste bitter and nasty to me. soo......none?

one thing you could try that i found works for me is try and work the back story of your characters into the filler parts. use the big event scenes to move the story forward and use the down time to give the readers more insight to the characters and itll feel less like filler and more like character development. one thing i love is the talking and walking scene i love when you can just have two or more charcters talking and learning more about eachother. that way you get to the next point without it feeling unnessesary. one thing i always felt is true is character grow the most not when the battles are being faught but in between when there now having to reflect and come to terms with whats happend. but then again im still a rookie so what do i know. lol

little Billys third grade class was asked to tell a story about a famliy member they admired. instantly little billys hand shot up and reluctantly the teacher clled on him to come to the front of the class and shre his story. " My uncle Joe was in Vietnam he would jump out of airplanes and parachute down. One day he jumped out of a plane with nothing but a beer and rifle and a Machete. On the way down he drank the beer and landed in the middle of ten vietcong soilders. he killed 7 with his rifle but ran out of ammo he killed 2 with his machete but the blade broke. that last one he strangled with his bare hands." at this point Billys teacher had to step in. "Billy is there any point to this story?" billy thought for a second before a wide grin came to his face. "Dont fuck with uncle joe when hes been drinking."

ok The logical part of me says absolutly no way,however the hopeless romantic part of me says true love can find its ways over any hurtles. and as much as i hate to admit it i tend to listen to the hopless romantic in me more than i should.

Actully was prbabley when i finally got the courage to come out to my mom. i remeber being so scared to the point of pysicaly shaking and il never forget what she said. "Oh thank god i thought you were going to tell me you needed Condoms." god i miss her so much.