comicfan

Mom said not to give you meatballs, but her cooking is bad.

The two get to relax for his birthday and they get to figure a way for him to honor his sister. Very sweet KC. Glad to see you getting back to this.

Exactly KC. Even smart mouth, I mean Mann, was from beginning very careful building his world for So Little Magic Left, so he too knows what I mean. World building is as much a craft as learning your spacing, commas, and all the rest.

Okay, lets forget the multiple titles and things I seem to have collected while I am a member here at GA. When it all is stripped away I am two things - a reader and a writer. When I first came to GA I came here as a reader. Off site, I was an English major so I read a lot of books. I read for school. I read for pleasure. However, any way you look at it I read. When I came here I did just that, I read the stories that appealed to me. If I enjoyed a story I left a comment. If I didn't, like any book I might not enjoy, i simply stopped reading and that was that. I believe in order to write, you need to read. However there are a few things I have noticed and being the big mouth that I am, I am going to comment on them and let people draw their own conclusions. When you write you create a world. You breathe life into characters and let them come to life for your reader. It is what a writer does, create worlds. There are different type of worlds and these worlds will need either little or major work so a reader can understand it. There are those set in the real world. Where the characters could literally be your next door neighbor. The world the writer has to create isn't so hard because the characters live in the everyday world. The reader knows stop lights, gravity, and basic laws so the focus is more on the characters and their relationships. Then there are the worlds where characters almost live in the normal world but they are the step beyond. Think superheroes or elves. Here these beings have powers, but are living in the normal world. Their powers have to be explained early on and kept consistent. You can not begin with someone as powerful as Superman, then increase his power tenfold adding a magic ring, power over the dead, the ability to control sea-life, and then giving him a sidekick who can with a glance force anyone they see to do what they want. One you have stretched the ability of the reader to the breaking point and two who on earth do you come up with as a possible foe? The elf can't go running around with a gun, because an elf can't hold cold steel. When you decide to deal with the major pre-created creatures of the night, before you put your spin on them you need to make sure you know the history of the characters. Werewolves, Vampires, Mummies, Zombies, and Elves all have a well traveled history. While every writer now wants to make their mark on these, they need to know the history before they make changes and they better be able to state why their creation isn't part of the norm. If your Vampire twinkles in the light like Edward of Twilight fame, then you better be able to say why he didn't explode and die in the sunlight. If your Zombie isn't shambling along at the speed of snail but running at Olympic levels after the main character, there better be a good reason for it or the reader is going to stop reading. If your elf is sitting in the middle of a iron office typing on a computer and making cell phone calls, well you get the idea. Other writers will create whole new worlds for their stories. Here new rules, lessons, and creatures exist. Some of the old might be applied but not all. Here witches can change men to kittens, Warlocks summon demons from the depths of a hell, and Gods walk among the men and women granting gifts that are going to go horribly wrong. The laws reasons for all are carefully explained and once explained the reader will follow willingly. The main thing is to make sure that the rules are explained and then not changed. Once the world is created and the reader has committed the writer has one last promise to keep - to make it to the end without changing the world. Nothing will tick a reader off more than accepting the world, falling in love with the character, only to find the author has written them self into a corner and changes the world to end the story. Suddenly the hero who has managed to fight everyone with his sword is surrounded and about to be swamped when his sword magically turns into a gun and kills all the bad guys. The reader stops, rereads this and is confused and angry. There have been no guns, and he has managed to climb walls, jump onto horses, or find a trap door every other time but now his sword becomes a gun? In plain English, the writer wrote them self into a corner and this was their way out of it. Only now the reader feels cheated because of the emotional investment and seeing what they felt was a great story suddenly fail. (Think of the television shows you loved that went on too long and the writers ran out of ideas. Like in Happy Days when Fonzie jumps the shark.) World building is an art and is an important part of writing. Readers know this from the stories they have read. Authors need to remember this as they write. Just my two cents and I hope it helps.

Reality You said you loved me for who I was I waited for you night after night Just seeing you gave me a buzz But that has come to an end I took each word and held it close to me Feeling lavished by you and wanted too Yet you had him and are his husband to be Why did I feel I stood a chance? The tower door had been opened happily for you And all my dreams were laid at your feet with my heart Still you smiled, still you asked, and I gave my soul too Now I drag this form back int

Sorry, big behind due to upcoming wedding of my best friend and death. Actually was writing tonight.

Sam, you seem to want out of the expected. No sunshine and simplicity but offer up some thunder and destruction. A poem of change and chance to escape but to what?

Dolores I do so love when you write. Your work is always strong and never as simple as it appears. You have some painful images that are so provocative. They demand one's attention. Nicely done.

Each of the three were descriptive and your arrangement of the last was powerful. Your take on the idea was unique and I enjoyed it.

Ouch. You really like to bruise the reader with this. Such pain and so close to the surface here, Cele. Perfectly clear and yet knowing that the words spoken too late are just guilt to eat away him.

The imagery you use helps to make it clear how alone the persona in the poem is. Sad and very well done.

A loss that will not come again. Seems so forlorn Aditus. I feel sorry for Mark.

The pain of childhood never fades and Angel carries that. He watched the abuse and was abused. Powerful piece.

Controlling people often smother others. I hate that they felt they had to stay instead of taking their chances to get beyond the storm and letting their flame burn bright again. Interestingly bittersweet Krista.

For me parties are just another stage, for the persona in this poem it is a personal hell. Never expected someone to feel that way. Nicely handled Cole.

Well now that you've lost your virginity, and in a nice way, can't wait to see what else you have planned. Loved the fact that their son has "bat hearing" cause that, if nothing else seems to be true with most children. lol.

Very focused and timely piece, Bill. You keep it always looking forward. Nice job.

Thank you Joann. All one can do is commit to the piece and hope it comes out in the end.

Thank you Carrington. Every once in a while I try to step out of my comfort zone. How well I do is another whole story.

Chocolate is always good Aditus.

It is one of those poems with more of me in than I would like to admit to.

Thank you Bill. It was something I learned about when I was trying to teach poetry in my English class years ago.

Thank you Cole.

Well I did want to stay with the idea of the storm coming so I tried to work it that way. Glad you read it. Poetry isn't always a strong point for me.

I watch them gather like dark storm clouds Storm clouds of problems waiting to rain down Rain down harshly stripping the land and laying things bare Bare of all illusions I stand here alone. Alone against the elements my life has forged Forged both the good and the bad The bad events seem to make it so much darker Darker clouds bring a sense of violence Violence, pain, and overwhelming despair whipped up like hurricane