Stephen
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Everything posted by Stephen
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The chapter is plenty graphic. Not many writers tell about the retching odor of conflict, -war stinks. You could've described in visceral detail the acts of violence but you describe the smell of it. Not many people do that but it's effective. I don't need more information. I'd need more than just a belt of whiskey after all that! Poor Paddy...he'd fallen so hard so fast for Ken...
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Story escalating? -Yes it is. I'm glad that Gary isn't an absolute shithead, just a sex addict. Paddy's full of surprises for sure, and I like his idea even though it's technically wrong. I'd call it a pragmatic and practical solution. The assassination of a happy, creepy multiple murderer...hmmm... let me think, who might just do that? This is a great story, it just keeps getting better.
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Like Droughtquake, I was thinking about a political aspect being behind these razor attacks as well. People and politics are often full of bad intents and actions, so it's just another suspicion to add to the list. I'm happy that Paddy's come to his senses about Billy and put the brakes on sex with a the boy, he's got enough going on with Ken...and maybe Giles? Popular guy, isn't he?
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My guess is that a Melbourne gang is trying to move in and take over. Maybe not, but a third party for sure. It's a mystery... and I do like mysteries.
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I know that I've said it before, but I am amazed how you can dive right into a teenager's mind. If I didn't know better I'd swear that a teen wrote this. It's a unique gift that you have. There, I've said it again. I also want to let you know that some of those bold-type comments are hilarious.
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I'm so glad I checked in today and saw your new story. It's packed full of colorful characters and set in the Roaring Twenties, reminding me of Miss Fisher's Mysteries, -only it's set in Sydney instead of Melbourne. All very exciting Graham.
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The Battle of Eagle Rock
Stephen commented on JamesSavik's story chapter in The Battle of Eagle Rock
My favorite line in a chapter full of them: "Bingo's head exploded into a cloud of pink mist." Does that make me strange? -
Strangely enough, I like the idea of karma, and even though I know that vigilante or personal vengeance are unacceptable, the justice and political systems in this country are so messed up that I want it at times. I'd hire you to plan it all out for sure. Shame I'm not rich, and I hope I have more than a year left so it's all moot anyway.
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It's a wonderful story from the beginning and I enjoyed reading each chapter. I'd like more if you're willing to write it. I wonder about Kellar's father's family, -do they come from that pack to the North of their area? -I have plenty of questions and you probably have a thousand more...
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I didn't expect a story like this here, but I like it. I don't have any objection to a few spiders sharing my house unless they're venomous ones, so we tolerate each other, -that's not saying they'd keep me around if they had any say in the matter.
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So, Jane had neither sense or sensibility. That old toad was a humbug!
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This is an unusual story with a new approach to vampirism that I haven't come across before: as a treatable chronic infection, -sort of like HIV. I like the characters too. They're nice without being too corny nice. I have a feeling that that is due to change since we haven't met Colin and Gabriella's sire yet. He doesn't sound nice.
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What does 'train your brains' mean? That would worry the hell out of me! The idea of returning to Earth six years into the future and Pete's resurrection are both pretty neat features of the Sumerian technology. I like those aspects but the thought of somebody messing with my mind creeps me out. I'm back, as you see, -my main computer was down for most of March though, and I hate reading on a little tablet. I'm finally caught up with your story now and it's been a joy to read. I'm not surprised by that.
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Tony's First Day of Vacation - Prompt 566
Stephen commented on comicfan's story chapter in Tony's First Day of Vacation - Prompt 566
It's stormy and rainy here today, and I'm happy to be inside and reading your story. I feel cozy with these characters, the scene could play out into something more...and what is it that Dillon wants to talk to Tony about? Hmmm...I do wonder. -
I have a fascination with volcanos, coming from a place that has none, and you do disasters so well...of course I like this story. Thanks for sharing it.
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Walking in a lake, suddenly the bottom drops out from under your feet and you are immersed. So you surface, take a deep breath and go back to where you were, but- things are different now, and I love it even more.
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Thanks for that ray of hope, and given the story so far, a struggle of monumental size is expected. Anything less would be disappointing.
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Yes, I think these Hartleys are like rats and cockroaches, -nobody acknowledges that they exist where they live, but they ARE there!
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Tytos Hartley, newly-minted supervillain and Mr. Quan his evil henchman simplify things, then immediately leave the party. What a delightful pair! Cheers!
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Yes, It is an excellent chapter filled to the brim with tension and drama, -landmarks really. Shay and Yugan meet, and Mikom lives! Earth is poised for a huge fight and the timing couldn't be worse. This is a short review since I have to read the Epilogue and can't wait.
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I saw this story on the site just today, and I'm intrigued. From what I've read about things so far there doesn't yet seem to be a connection to your recent stories, or is there a common thread that I haven't grasped yet? I'm glad to see this either way.
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A story about hope, and a good one too. It reminds me not to do that. It's very easy to give up hope, -too easy...and not much fun. Thank you for a lovely reminder
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This chapter certainly got my attention. First there was the violence with Dustin, then this weird vampire man attacks and Mike makes another save with more magic. Duncan has had a really bad day, and it's not over yet.
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Drama and Theatrics? So says the Judge, -but it worked for him he admits. Worked for me too. You had me the moment Troy asked "Are you God?". This was an absorbing story I enjoyed it throughout. Thanks for sharing your amazing talent, -again.
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Peter sure has had a bad time since this story began, hasn't he? His life's such a sack of shit now. He's been a real trooper, and was actually beginning to get into a rhythm and now he's accused of child-molesting and has to move in with friends and deal with these allegations that can follow him for life, lose him his job, and taint his attitude towards the boys and all children permanently. Has he already given up his own home for all this? Will he lose his lover too? Then there's Alan, who has decided to try and deal with this mess without even getting Lisa and Rosalie involved. Does he think they won't find out? If he loses Peter, how does he think his mother and sister will feel? I think you should've named Penelope Pandora instead.
