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i'd like to see more of this. maybe he comes back to the bar to hear him play often and they talk before he goes on, become friends.....and well you can write the rest. hard to write out a story for two people in prompts but I think you can do it

This was really a beautiful chapter. I think you did a magnificent job of showing Devyn healing, but showing it was progressing slowly in steps. I am glad he's doing therapy and I think it's great that Jason is involved with that since he is his guardian and one of his safe places. I think that Michael and Devyn are still young, relationships could come and go, though I think they will make it. But, Jason is going to be there for him forever. The only small detail I would have liked is if you said some specific things he was dealing with in therapy. I think a bit of a laundry list will help hit the reader even though they know it all, it brings it home hearing it all at once and knocks home what he has to get through in therapy...Devyn was dealing with the black soul Brad had and the things he had done to him including taking his voice, raping him, prostituting him, beating him mercilessly, making his home a prison, and letting others like Sam, do the same and worst of all, killing his mom and his step-father who was a good man too. He also dealt with the guilt he felt over Kieren's situation. I would leave it that Kieren is still in a coma b/c it's too easy if he suddenly wakes up. But, I would say those are things that he never 'voiced' and saying he has would help. I think it is nice that he is working on forgiving Trent and Chris, which shows how big his heart is even after all he's been through, but I think that maybe you could say that they wanted to see Devyn, but having them around was discouraged by the therapist until Devyn was a bit stronger. He was dealing with so much already and there were hopefully going to be some feelings of anger eventually that he'd have to work through and throwing that in the mix now might be too much. One other loose end I would have liked to see mentioned would have been the Dr. He should be going to jail for molesting Devyn and for cutting the kid's vocal cords! Horrid man. A random question also would have been possibly good to slip in around the area of telling about his drawing...is he working on his school work for real now and maybe he'll even have the confidence someday to pursue his art after he gets his GED. I loved the emotional scenes between Dev and Jase and Dev and Michael. It was sweet to have Jason feel the boy finally trust him and love him. that is a big deal for a boy who was tortured and had all the love in his life ripped away and replaced with hate and such sadistic and malevolent treatment. I'm glad you didn't have him sleep with Michael yet, though I would kinds like to see him get to the point where he can have a healthy sexual experience. I'm glad it didn't happen yet b/c he needs to heal from the countless rapes to be ready, even if he trusted Michael most in his world. Devyn is amazingly resilient, but there was the vulnerability you showed, almost like a child trying to grow and do more away from their parent but also needing to come back and confirm that the parent is still there to catch them if they fall or fail. The scene with lyle and jase was nice. I just wish jase had said it to him. I wonder what lyle think? Did he take the way Jase stopped after the 'l' to mean he was afraid to say it or he was unsure he felt it? I always write comments to you like I'm beta reading. So, please don't take all the stuff I say I 'would have liked' as anything other than that. I know you're always open to that stuff. That's cool that you take the comments into consideration and are letting it guide you to add something. i'm excited to see that brad scene whenever you get to it. Hands down, this was a wonderful chapter and the story has been a great one. you really are a talented writer and I look forward to more daily when you're in the middle of a story and am already hoping for a new story soon. It's always a bit of mixed feeling to get to the end b/c you enjoyed it so much and hate to lose the excitement of the constant or regular updates which were a treat! So thanks a lot and I look forward to the last chapter! I'm intrigued by your saying it will be a change of POV Any thought to picking up another character from this and writing their story? That cross your mind at all? Maybe Gentry or the other deputy who were good men?

I enjoyed the chapter. I'm so glad Devyn is okay and Jason will be his guardian. I agree with Nephy's idea that he should inherit and since she's a lawyer, I assume she's right that he would even without a will. I'm sure Brad didn't leave his money to the kid, but I assume the parents had things locked and Brad was just in charge of it till he was of age. Devyn surely wouldn't be living there, as it is a prison and hell for him with no good memories, but I think that a nice place for him to have his horse would be nice once he's of age. I would like to see the guys be part of Jason and Devyn's lives, and I'm sure Lyle will be, but I do wonder if their situation would be looked at. i'd be more worried if Brad was still alive, since now they may not go looking as close at the trent and chris and the fact that they were supposed to be in jail. But, I'd think there will be a look at what was going on in the dept. and what was 'fixed' dealings between the deputy and Brad. I am sure the issues go higher though if Brad could keep people out of jail. Those guys still need to apologize for watching his suffering for so long anyhow. I agree with whoever about wanting a peak into Brad's death, as there is a feel of it being too easy for him to be dead. I think you could write a great scene which makes us feel like the hit was done in a way that makes sense. Maybe saying how big this drug ring was, b/c a guy who was selling a few grand of the stuff isn't going to risk killing, like the one Jason met. But, if that main guy who hurt Devyn was much more big time, though I can't remember if he was the seller or another buyer, he could have wanted Brad dead. If you did the scene, I'd have the police with Brad in a bullet proof vest, which always makes me joke since their head is open. I wonder if it could be done after this one, so we learn with Devyn that he's dead. I think that was good to learn that way. could a chapter follow that says '24 hrs before.' I'm sad to be coming close to the end here. I am happy that Michael was there and I think you'll give us a satisfying ending with the other characters. I don't think it would help at this point for there to be an interview we listen to with the police, with all we know,, but that is your call. If keeping I real, he should be evaluated by psych, as they don't just overlook suicide attempts usually, even if it is believable that his 'reason' for it is dead. I really think this is great and can't wait to see how you finish it up. Thanks for getting these scheduled to come out ahead of time so we could enjoy it!!

kickass... bad morning....helped a little to have an update

LOVED IT!!! ah...pulse pounding and funny at the end. I loved his 4 of a kind comment...perfect. I'm surprised to see people thinking Devyn could have hurt himself. I don't think he would have. I think he was hoping he could do something to Brad. The poor kid would have been unable to even if he had a gun I think. Brad had his strength and his muscle. He might be okay. He was bleeding without the paring knife. I don't know if brad would have hurt him further until he got the cash in hand. One thing I really want to know is if he thought he could get out of it before Jason showed...What turned his opinion of Jason? Was it his concern for Devyn in that moment or his veiled threat over hurting him? He seemed to believe for a moment that Jason was not at the police for him.... I'm glad he let the guys in..and that for once Lyle wasn't missing the action. they may have saved Jason. I like how Brad sounded mad at the end. Did he think the other men would now allow for murder and keep mouths shut still? I guess so. And maybe they would have. if you could watch a child be hurt to save your own ass, what would break you? I wish I knew if Chris and Trent would ever have gotten to a point where enough was enough without Jason? Well, here's praying Dev is okay and believed in Jason and in hope and lels hope a nice ending for him comes in the form of two guys who really care about each other raising him! Will Michael have seen the lights and be there when Dev comes out. One thing I know is that you will give us a satisfying ending. You are really talented and I hope start getting your stuff published. officer Gentry hasn't said much, but he has my attention for some reason. maybe a story for him?

isn't snow getting frisky lol....wow! change in character. it remains to be seen if he can open up about his past now that he is opening up about his attraction to Louis. I think Louis is afraid to push either at all. is that bc of his fear of pushing snow too far and upsetting him by speaking of his past or is some thought that snow is different? Could he be afraid of what his past will include?

Great story. I kinda wish we'd seen them bond a bit more before he had to drop hani off. It didn't feel like there was basis for phelps to be as attached as hani was. For Hani he was safety that night, etc. Hani also has other measures and abilities which might account for him feeling what he did for Phelps. we just didn't get to see much interaction between them to make me feel there was something similar going on for phelps. I was able to let it be a short, sweet tail, oh I mean tale, about love Small things...I liked that his first time wasn't bad. it was actually sweet at moments and very hot at others. I thought it was great that his sense of self was so strong. I loved when he told that guy he was a sentient creature and there was a law for them. I do hope the gov't doesn't come after him. For a short, it was nice. It would work well as an extlended story too.

good save!!! I really didn't see how this would go after the way the last chapter ended. how will brad explain Devyn being clumsy enough to do this damage? Can the kid really do any damage with a paring knife? I am really ignorant about cooking lol. wouldn't trent and chris be able to get back in? they have the codes certainly. They will stand up for the kid at this point and maybe get reduced sentences...if not they should have faced the music ages ago. brilliant making them think it's a neglect complaint he's there for. what will they do with the backpack? wouldn't they need it for evidence? will they storm over there or build a case? poor Devyn. I hope Jason and lyle can take care of him after they are done with this ...oh can't wait to see the added scene. thanks for your nightly updates. it is a treat. hugs!

great chapter. I am wondering why Rayne or harry don't know that they are mates? Isn't it an instant knowledge? I enjoyed seeing the normally cowed harry fight. I think jared should have told his brother about Carl and his insanity or at least the basics of his actions towards submissives and his goal as he's learned from Rayne and Darwin. Where is Harry from and how was he able to live away from his pack/Alpha? I can't believe a shot in the chest didn't cause more trouble for Darwin. I can get how he wasn't shot in the heart and would have accelerated healing, but it would probably not heal that quickly, especially since he was still healing from other injuries. so, is the issue with Darwin's 'odd and uncontrollable' wolf just that he is all wolf with no human mind mixed b/c Darwin kept it that way. Sadly, they were still separate even when cooperating. what happened that made him think his wolf was crazy? What had his wolf done that was so outrageous? it doesn't seem that odd that he'd be 'all wolf' given the situation between him and his human side. I feel badly b/c biting Darla isn't going to gain points for his wolf. But aren't most injured werewolves dangerous. She was right on top of him. I don't get why hadn't she run from the scene? Why is Carl so set on killing submissive Darwin instead of settling for him getting the hell out of the pack and his lands? is it just a matter of pride b/c Darwin fooled him for so long? I think Darwin's father should get out of dodge b/c Carl is not above using his old friend to get to Darwin. Afterall, he acts like the guy abandoned him by having that stroke. I was disappointed to see that it felt like Darwin and Jared lost the closeness they had gained at the cabin. I understood him testing to see if Darwin would react to his pushing his buttons. But beyond that, It seems like Darwin is fighting the attraction/caring and warm feelings again. he accepts him as his mate clearly, but isn't even telling jared thanks for saving his life I know he's been through a lot, but he's gotta get over himself at some point. i'm happy to see this new chapter so soon after the last update and hope to see more soon. I think the plot is going well. I really want to know about that pack in Canada. rayne knows something about it. What tells him it will not work elsewhere, aside from common sense?

I think Jason needed to slow down. I think chris and trent needed to repeat their warnings to him. That's too much to do on one day. If Brad calls the espanol tutor and hears what happened. then Devyn happens to get out without his backpack which he knows is a no-no. then like brad won't check if he went to see his father easily enough? Then he goes to the police station and what...hopes Watson isn't there? He just threw away all that effort in my opinion and I don't think it would be realistic b/c of all the points above, for anything to come of this. If he were to casually find a way to schedule a meeting with the sheriff and then that man could help come up with a plan where the kid is safely out of the way when they go after Brad on their own, that would be best. He could have even sent him the proof electronically. He didn't have to go 'all in' and without a plan, or at least one that was thought through at all. I have to be honest, that would be my beta reader comments. I would feel like if you work this out, it wouldn't feel realistic. Brad is not small time. it would have been a miracle not to have him find out about the move with the Spanish tutor. And if they went back and played it cool. Give Brad no need to worry, then find a way to meet the sheriff or at least get the info to him, it would have worked out much better. He didn't need to have the product. He's not the damn DEA. The police could do their job and I am sure the sheriff could call in someone not owned by Brad. He's trained how to deal with this. You just left your trump card at brad's mercy. You didn't want him hurt by this tutor, but you have to realize that move is going to cost him worse. He'll have the shit kicked out of him and worse, if Brad is suspicious, he's gonna not let you near the kid. Ahhh I'm so frustrated now hope we get more soon. You know I love ya. So I expect realistic possible actions and outcomes so the story stays feeling realistic if possible.

I'm glad the two characters don't remind me of previous ones. I think they are starting to develop nicely. Of course we have to connect the dots on Dimitri, Is he possibly involved with law enforcement? The marina would be a good cover. Yet, I don't think he's an undercover officer or something given the fact that he was shaking the kid down with two thuggy guys. And why 'keep Ken's name out of it' when he clearly wasn't a good guy either? well, I am sure you will tell us eventually. I hope Demitri shares his background. I think he is insightful and should see that Talin isn't going to trust him without reason to do so. I don't think the attention of a sexy guy and the interest he has in return is enough for him to trust. He seems like a person whose trust you earn. Not one that gives it freely till you do something to lose it. I am looking forward to more. HOpe to see an update soon. also, do you give us a location where the story is?

great story. I enjoyed it as much as I had the first one. The sad part was them all being parted. especially, those who came to the companions in pairs, like james and Kenneth or daryn and Greyeyes, etc. I would have liked to see a bit more of Ivan in the story, showing this child who was forced to grow up in a magical in between, without real interaction with others. I would have liked to see him interact with the companions as they traveled. I don't even remember him having a real reaction to who he came to be. it might have been interesting for the others to ask if Marcus had prepared him for this or said anything that in hindsight, might have showed he knew his fate or who he was? I feel like he was silent and in the background, even though it was a story about how he found his place and who he was. I am hoping we get to see more of him in another book. the other thing I was glad you did was have Patrick speak of his parting from Alan. I still find it sad that they seemed to have something when they left together. did you initially intend for them to be more connected than they ended up? They ended up friends. Was it a case of getting to know one another and knowing they weren't the one for each other. I forget what term Patrick used about that. overall, this world you created is great. I will be off to the next story now It's always nice to catch on to finished work so you can move on and keep reading.

oh yea. slow to pick up on it all and work it out....but finally some fire under his ass. Now, I hope he gets that that sick fuck is raping him by going into his room. He was told that door was to Brad's room. slow slow slow....he's going to feel like shit if he finds out he was getting some while poor Devyn was getting some from brad. That man deserves to be put out on a stake and we all know where it should be shoved. I do think you have some work to make it seem real that Jason, with nothing, can beat Brad with all his resources. That one sheriff clearly has his doubts and wants to help....so maybe he's the key. But, one guy against the rest. I didn't think of the guys lying for him. He needed to point out how sweet it was for them to save their own asses by not going to prison at the expense of a child's! my one concern is that they are self-serving pricks to let this go on this long and their consciences might not win over self-preservation once again. My bigger worry is that Jason is being too obvious.. there are probably cameras all over the place. He gets caught talking to Devyn or these guys or anyone, he'll be in a bed next to keiren if he's lucky! I also hope that Jason goes to Michael and tells him to hold up and not put himself in danger, for Devyn's sake. Michael loves that kid and won't stop. I can't believe suspicions were right and that the doctor cut his vocal cords. Jesus. If only he had a recording of that. All Jason should do is put a recorder in there. He doesn't realize those visits are taking place though. I just hope you can show that Brad is taken down in a way that is believable. AFterall, we know people beat raps all the time b/c of money. You've done an amazing job of creating a sadistic, sick bastard with no soul in this story. The brother in Neko was like a Carebear compared to this guy. The whole set-up has been very real feeling to me. It is a great story. I've been too busy reading to leave notes saying so lol.

We are dying to see Casey and Jackson get together. Thane now just ruined his story by telling us the spoiler...that he has two mates! I don't think this can be more than Jackson racing to the rescue but they don't get together b/c the wed brief story takes place after the baby is born and they aren't together. we can't really tell if casey knows he is his mate bc it is just more of the friction between them that always existed. well, of course I suspect it is Andrew's stalking wannabe mate (what's his name again lol) but I guess we'll see. Please put us out of our misery and give us C & J's story soon!!!!!!!!!!!!

So clearly Adrian wants to be more than a brother to Lou. Was it me or were there sparks between Lou and one of the alphas? i'm wondering why luca seems to be able to teleport from some places and then other times needed the car? one other little thing was that lovel woke up and didn't ask about his brother's state. He also slept in when his mate was missing? I've been thinking for a while that Marcus is the one to take these wolves. His reaction to Mika and the fact that he's always missing, etc, says something. I just wonder why he needs the other submissives? Also, why would he know Mika was an omega when lovel didn't? His mom didn't either so it isn't due to age. I also wonder if the black wolf is involved. I liked how you had different personalities on a spectrum of how they reacted to the vamps. it wasn't intolerance all around. I think you should have defined Childe earlier, afterall, you had mentioned it for so many chapters that I was sure it wasn't a typo but it was frustrating to only incorrectly guess it was a vamp under a certain age. That said, I was sad they don't have fated mates b/c I see a few possibilities for him It also would be interesting to see a new shifter vamp pair after so many centuries that they thought it was impossible. Well, I hope to see more soon. I'm anxious to see what Mika can do. Can he relax enemies enough to get a chance for escape? What will the incubus tell Lou after sleeping with him and will Lou stay with a shifter or Luca who will be alone again, since Adrian is a huge threat to his well-being as an Enforcer?

The story had an outstanding start. I am going to make comments I would have made as a beta reader. I don't mean to rip it apart...just try to point out where more details could have been given so you might see spots in the future to fill in. I'd have liked a bit more detail about those 6 yrs to develop Sabien's character as well as Aric's. even if you began the jump ahead with something about how Aric had treated him all those years. Was their relationship like guardian/child or father/child or friend caring for a young man? Was he adopted by Aric? Did he become a noble b/c of that? Or was he seen as a ward of a noble? What did he do over those 6 yrs. You say he trained in swordsmanship, that is all. Did he study, was he trained to fill a position like a squire or some other thing? I feel a big hole was left in describing what their relationship was and how he grew up which would influence who this boy became. That is super important given he is the main character. I also would have liked to know more about the magic in this kingdom. You mention the buildings being protected by it. Who had the magic and was able to do so? I know you said the palace belonged to 'God.' Did anyone see that entity? What role did the emperor play? Did he reside there? Were there mages in the castle? I'd like to understand more about this building being alive part. I would have spoken of Aric's use of this study. Had Sabien ever been in it? Did Aric have magic to close this door or had this thing that took him lock the door? And most of all, I think a definition of a daemon should have been given. I know it is assumed that many readers know what certain mythical figures are, but I think it should never be taken for granted that all do. I think mythical creatures also differ from story to story. So, I think just saying one took him away left a huge hole. How will Sabien find him? Why would Aric be wanted? What was his role in the kingdom?

wow, much different from neko! I couldn't stop reading to comment on the other chapters sorry I am enjoying it and think the characters are a great bunch. You are torn at hating and understanding Trent and Chris for not doing anything but also understanding their predicament, though I'd go to jail before I'd let some kid suffer...at least give more bread crumbs to someone with less to lose like Jason. My thing with Jason is that up till this chapter he's been a bit slow...but this chapter he came across as stupid. I mean, I don't expect him to maybe come up with the drug muling instead of classes or that he's being prostituted, but you know he's being abused, you know that old doc was a perv with the way he acted and the kid's questions after. I want to smack him...and clearly, while Lyle might not know as much, he knows a lot. He should go talk to him and put what they know together. Being outside is a good role b/c people will talk in front of him assuming lyle, with is easy way, is oblivious. I think he knows more than most. Jason is now at a point where he is beginning to put Devyn in danger with his bumbling questions and being obtuse. Hope he wakes up and maybe tries to get the kid to confide. I am shocked Devyn hasn't asked Jason or Lyle to check on Michael. I really am worried about the kid. You can be sure he won't be working there anymore. It is terrifying that this Brad tried to kill his entire family off to get the inheritance. Fails with poor Devyn...then is willing to have his vocal cords cut! It sounds like his loss of voice isn't a mistake. then he won't let him learn sign language. Limits who he sees, except for his 'clients' or tutors pffft. it's horrifying. I hope the wild card wakes up or he's going to be too late when he catches up. I have to say, good writing. I was caught from the start and read it straight through. it is so different from the last story, though they have your ability to write a great evil character in common. I look forward to see what happens next.

one thing I am wondering, after reading all of the stories I think there are I this great world you created has to do with the way that world is set-up in reference to the other beings in it. Are these communities made up of only paranormals for the most part? were they created to protect the non-humans? Are humans allowed in them? or were the created more as an answer to living on the same schedule which is backwards to that of the human world? I am just wondering a bit about that. It was also a good thing to include the man's need for alcohol as a way to possibly catch him. I can't imagine finding him will be the hard part...it will be stopping, catching and keeping him that makes it a real challenge. I feel badly for the guys starting a relationship in the middle of this, but I can't help but think that they may have the necessary hand up with their connection as they are fighting this guy. Yes, Jay is the one who will have to sense him and has the same powers, but Craig's calming force will help and who knows what he might sense while along for the ride. I'm looking forward to more. I do want to know what is up with Louis and Cade. What is Cade? He is human like Jay and Craig, right What is his power? And when do you plan to do Casey and his vamp's story? I REALLY wanna see that one happen.

I'd have loved to have been in on the things Patrick learned in the thieves guild. It would have been interesting. I found your reasoning and philosophy about thieves creating balance intriguing. I am not sure I get it, but I can't deny that the head of the guild and the boys so far, aren't Evil (why do I always hear Austin Powers when I read that word with a capital 'E'?) lol Enjoying this story as much as the last. I still think the only thing missing is more intimacy between Patrick and Allen. Didn't they join out of love for one another, yet we barely see them together, but for a fight or as they ride. They don't even make plans together as often as Patrick and james do. I feel like there should be a stronger personal relationship, the one that formed and caused them to adventure together. But, that is my only complaint. It continues to be a very exciting world you've created which is similar and yet so different than ours.

I didn't see your note about your having a surgery until after I posted my review of the last chapter. I hope you are feeling better and that the surgery healed what it should have. I loved this chapter. It really got interesting when they discussed Zeke and Colt having the same connection and Dylan and Quint. gene is good, he was watching the others to evaluate their fighting skills while kicking ass It's always nice to see characters you loved in the first story. I enjoyed seeing Tommy in the beginning and now seeing Gene. I am really surprised that they think Zeke will leave his mate. Esp. with another male threatening his life/wanting to recover him and take him home. Isn't he old enough to decide for himself where he lives? I am sure his parents would want him to be happy. btw, I loved how Quint's mom reacted to the secret and to going to the Wolf. I'm finding the whole Zeke/Quint relationship to be interesting b/c it seems like Quint is fighting it on one level and yet being the one to move them forward on another. It was very interesting that the others are recognizing Zeke as his mate, yet he's yet to say the word. I have an idea from the last story, but would have encouraged you to explain about the bite between mates. Does that mean that only Zeke has claimed Quint, but Quint hasn't claimed Zeke? Or is the fact that Quint told him to do it enough? I like the interesting situation they find themselves in when it comes to dealing with d/s issues. I love how Colton is always watching or complimenting them on their body or on the shows they put on lol. That could be a fun storyline to follow-up on once the boys are secure in their relationship I'm not sure why they question what team he's batting for lol. I would see if someone is willing to go over the story for you just to fix some obvious typos or extra words here or there. At times it made it a bit confusing or slowed my reading. I'm sure one of your fans would be willing to do it. feel free to check with me and see if I have time to do it for ya. Hope for more soon! it's getting pretty exciting.

The mythology was a bit long and involved for me. It may have been easier for those who had a better grasp of the mythology you sourced it from. It was interesting in terms of giving us a bit more about why the personalities of the different animals are the way they are. I am loving the story. I really think you did an amazing job with Full Moon and I think you've continued to develop with this story. While Full Moon was a bit faster paced and had more details in terms of them being wrapped up in everyday life with work and trips, etc. I feel like the strength of this one is the developing of relationships and of those with different problems. The obviously injured party is Quint and it is great to see him learn the truth of things as well as begin to heal. Then there is the growing relationship between the boys, including Colton and Dylan. And there seems to be a back story for Colton and his fighting the change. How many years have Jon, Pat and Dylan been in Montana? I wonder how you will handle the LTR with the boys I think Zeke should move out to Montana. I think Quint can benefit from these other relationships and being in a pack, despite his being a cat. Yet, I think he needs Zeke with him. I hope they stay out there for a bit. There is also the relationship between Dylan/Sol and Quint/lynx to work out. I'm even wondering if Colton is meant to be involved with Zeke and Quint, but maybe that's crazy. The one thing I had to question the smarts of was leaving Dylan alone. Why would Gene do that when he admitted he can't fight Amos in his animal form, let alone as a human. Amos was in the area, why not leave a message or use Dylan to get Quint? It just seemed like a dumb move. I'm glad more is written already so I can keep reading! Keep it up....going really well.

I really enjoyed this story. It is really filled with great characters and adventures, and the world they live in comes alive. it was wonderful. The singular thing I would have liked to see would have been more of Patrick and Alan having intimate (not just sexual) moments. moments where they spend quiet time together or just holding one another at night or saying 'I love you'. It started with their relationship and once on the trip and meeting the others, the intimacy stopped. it was all practical talk. I was confused at his alan referring to him as a friend. the part with Alan's father and Patrick was the biggest discussion of their love since they left the school together. Overall, awesome story. I loved it and look forward to catching up on the others.

I like the story so far. I love the relationship you've developed between them. You can really feel Ky's devotion and love and you can feel sky's same feelings, though he may not realize it yet, he is clearly feeling more than the love you have for a close friend. The feelings are almost tangible and that is a hard thing to do. I think your description of body language, esp the looks on their face and their description of what the look 'says' is a big part of that. I'd like to see you develop the characters more in terms of who they are outside of one another. so far we only have a small glance of sky as a class clown. maybe seeing them in a group or some such thing might help that. and how would ky react to a girl flirting with sky after they have shared what they have? I look forward to more. hope you post soon.

I never read the orig. story. i'll have to check it out. this was a bitter bittersweet ending. I just feel badly that he had to leave Patrick. I think they had enough love to make it work. I'd be interested whether Patrick can move on knowing he is out there. I'd be willing to think he hasn't loved another or let himself do it b/c luke was still out there somewhere. maybe he thought he'd killed himself, but I think if he still sensed him like he did when he looked up to where he was, he knows he is 'alive.' what will happen when he sees Patrick with someone someday or as he gets older or when he dies? Will the nightfall absorb him? well, is there another story?

I love this story. But one thing gets me....he isn't hiding his kills and he's doing this in front of tons of humans. think of the headlines. U r telling me the gov't has this police force for supes and yet, they wouldn't be en force looking for him or whoever was doing this? Then he'd used the laser, so they'd find that reckage and how long would it take to connect him to an agent in that city? Didn't he think about what was said by mr. Talbot? that Patrick could lose his life b/c of him? it is heartbreaking to see those emotional scenes...you really get the love between them before and after his death across. it's so bittersweet b/c you know the pain Patrick is going through. frankly, I don't know how his father could have him there for two years knowing his plans, but for the hopeful nature like his son, that luke could be convinced to abandon this. But, once he saw he wouldn't, he should have kicked him out for Patrick's sake. He never should have let him stay past this morning. After last night, give him a place for that day and say goodbye b/c Patrick is suffering watching the sickness take him and he's suffering. Plus luke is putting him in danger. he needs to kick his ass out!!! if only luke could pull his head out of his ass? has he ever thought of taking the lives of bad humans to survive? If he had such pain over the life stolen from him. yet he thought 24 innocents should die so he could have revenge? 24 people should be killed and families left to mourn so he could feel better before he dies for the second time? it's crazy! ugg...hypocrite ok, my rant is over. I look forward to seeing what happens and hope it is slightly satisfying in the end. I can't help but think mr. Talbot is going to be after him or in trouble soon.