Mann Ramblings

Magnificent chapter! Exciting and quick paced without being unnecessarily rushed. I wondered how you were planning to save them and I think you did an excellent job. I admit I have mixed feeling about Jack's demise; I feel sorrier for Colton ultimately given Jack's hand in all the atrocity that began this tale. Hopefully they still have a chance to escape. I'll be waiting for the next chapter.

Nicely done. You've captured the frustration and confusion Kei experiences in the hospital when no one will give him any information and constantly ordering him around. I would be incredibly fed up in that circumstance. Then the diagnosis with its severe immediacy falls like a hammer. Alex's anger and turn around were well done and very realistic as far as I'm concerned. I hope you are able to convey the helplessness that comes along with trying to support someone with a potentially lethal illness. You done a wonderful job leading us in with only 2 chapters. I'm definitely looking forward to see how it all comes about. Great chapter.

I've written in 1st person and 3rd Close and enjoy both. I do love the deeply personal connection that can be made from first person, but it's much harder to keep from being bored by the same person's voice sometimes. It requires a very dynamic character or personal connection to maintain. For longer stories, I'm starting to shift to 3rd close. For me, I like the ability to shift POV as long as there is a proper transition. (I think I'm getting much better at it.) It really just depends on the story I'm writing. I'm likely to do either. Omniscient is just too broad for me. I think it takes away the surprise of discovery as everything can easily be spelled out by an unsophisticated writer. I think it takes extraordinary skill to pull it off, but I think it can lack a personal touch to the reader.

This is especially poignant. You have done a lovely job of expressing your pain and I hope you find the answer to release it. It is obvious how deeply you feel the loss. It is equally obvious how much you needed to express it. Thank you for sharing.

Love it! More!

This is a realistic post apocalyptic world you've fabricated here. I like the image of crying teenagers without their cell phones LOL. The gargoyles were a strong contrast that I would love to see the discovery of. There's definitely a beginning to be expanded on. Nice work

Wow! Thank you for the highlight! I love the prompts we've had lately and the response I've gotten with them. I'm going to keep them all as potential story arcs. They're so distracting, I have to stay away from them or I'll never finish the piece I'm working on. But after that...

You start out thinking that Kei is just a slacker with the way everyone smacks him around at his current failings, but it's not that simple is it? Something more serious is going on here and it makes me wonder how everyone will respond when the underlying issues come forward. Why do I have the feeling I might cry a bit before this story finishes?

I was absolutely terrified to post my first story. I had lurked reading on GA and other sites until I finally got a final nudge to come here to post. I was told this would be a much better environment to nurture a fledgling writer. It couldn't have been more true. I received a great deal of beneficial feedback that has made me feel much more confidant in my skills and it has encouraged me to continue. I haven't seen the sense of community at other sites that I see here. It makes me glad I was pushed in this direction.

I need a list of names so I can Google pics of them and decide if they will receive my personal lust as well as my support

Good introduction. I'm liking Asher and on the fence with Michael. (no pun intended) Looking forward to see where it all goes. Liking the "business bunnies". I guess there are groupies in all walks of life LOL. And by the way... I DARE you to kill someone off.

whoohoo!!! I win!!! You would have been cute as a smurf too, but I liked this graphic better

I couldn't wait and I was bored at work, so I had a chance to brainstorm.

Shawn awoke as he lay unmoving in the filthy dark alley. Rank water and dirt stained the side of his face as his body ignored all attempts to raise itself from the ground. It wasn't surprising his body wouldn't cooperate. The pain spiking through so many places was making it hard to stay awake, let alone move. Groggily, his eyes were open and functioning even if the rest of him was not. The groceries he was carrying were strewn about the ground, the broken eggs picking off a faint glimmer from

I saw the change in status earlier. Congrats! I'm sending you 2 graphics for my picks. I don't think I can embed them in this blog reply, so I'm PM'ing them. Those will be my votes

I like to know more about the authors. You get some insights into them through their writing, but it's fun to get the additional background. Now I hope Luka Fox has the chance to continue with Domino. I'm on pins and needles!

nice prompts. I can see the start of two stories from here. Hmm....

Whoohoo!!!

Why are my underwear hanging from the chandelier? Wait. No. Those aren't mine. Why am I lying on the floor looking at the ceiling? I try to open my eyes wider but the room seems too bright even with only the chandelier's glow. The floor underneath me feels polished smooth and unyielding like marble. Carefully, I look around with my squinted eyes but everything is so hazy. I don't feel so good. Rolling over is difficult. My body feels sluggish and doesn't immediately obey my commands. I have

I'm liking the first one a lot. (Gears are turning...)

That sounds a lot like when a friend of mine had kidney stones just recently. Hope they can find out something soon. Take care of yourself, we'll be here waiting.

but what if the main character's eyes fall out of his motherfucken sockets when he laughs? Does that make it okay?

My valet, Garmin, reached down and arranged my bare organ to slide safely unto my snug breeches. Red velvet and fitting like a second skin, they rode along my thighs while caressing and separating my backside. With a gentle tug of the fabric, he released me; my bulge looked unusually heavy within the tailored garment. He quickly lifted the sheer shirt hanging from the wardrobe and I stretched my arms outwards to ease my dressing. “Isn't it exciting, Sir Nathan? Traveling to another land to b

Aw, fuck. I’m dead. I would have to be the only one who didn’t get out of the way before the bus crashed through the window because I was preoccupied with finding non-Canadian change in my pocket. The Disney show tunes blasting through my I-Pod didn’t help. I didn’t even get my coffee before it happened. I couldn’t even die in a dignified way. No dying gracefully in my sleep looking like a vampire waiting to rise. That would have been cool. No, I get to be splattered across a bus windshi

Erron looked down at the synthesized protein masquerading as eggs on his plate. How this diner could justify serving this travesty was beyond him. Even the smell was wrong. He picked at it with his utensil and promptly set it on the table. There was no way he was eating this. The triangle of toast was passable, at least they had real bread. It wasn’t helping though because his nerves were so on edge. This diner in the spaceport was close to the Santa Claus’s landing bay. It was really the on