JimP
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Everything posted by JimP
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Excellent start to your story. It will be interesting to see how you develop it as it goes along.
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Each chapter so this story is better than the last. I am really enjoying reading this story.
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Sui, This was an excellent story. You have such a great writing talent. Thank you for sharing this with us! Jim
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Sui, You are killing me with the suspense for the last chapter. Post it soon!
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Chapter 3 - First Impressions
JimP commented on Cynus's story chapter in Chapter 3 - First Impressions
As a former, LDS missionary, I am enjoying the start to your story. I look forward to the future chapters. -
I ran out of "likes" part way through the story so I couldn't like every chapter. It is a great story and I hope there are a lot of additional chapters on the way. I didn't want to say a lot of additional chapters yet to come as that could have been wrong.
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What an absolutely wonderful thing to share with us. I wish you and your husband flowers without weeds in your garden, decks without splinters and all of the happiness in the world!
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Chapter 8: A Stranger in our Midst
JimP commented on Amikawrite's story chapter in Chapter 8: A Stranger in our Midst
I think you oosted a response to a review as the chapter. -
Very good chapter. Neither of them seemed to know how to express their feelings for each other which led to slightly awkward first sex and more awkward conversation afterwards. Very realistic of two young people finding their feelngs and trying to learn how to express them. You did an excellent job in caputring that.
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It seems inevitable that Martin will eventually find out about Sawn and Casey, but I hope you don't make him find out before Casey shares his secret with Shawn. It would be really great to see the two of them putting up a united front against scheming uncle Martin when he does find out. Perhaps the boys can be out swimming and Casey will have to change to protect Shawn from the looming reef shark and Shawn can find out that way. How do you like that? Readers (me) trying to get into your head and guess what you have planned for your characters:-) It will be nice to see the day when Shawn rips that shock collar off of Casey.
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The ominous chapter ending must mean we are about to get to an exciting part of the story. I am not getting this Ethan thing. Galen said that he doesn't have chemistry with him. It really seems unfair to the Ethan character for Galen to be stringing him along when his heart really isn't in it. Ethan must just be a distraction until whatever tragedy that you have planned strikes that helps to bring Joash and Galen together.
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Another great Chapter. The way that you are writing Martin, he seems to have no redeeming characteristics. This was another well written but too short chapter. You know how to leave the reader wanting more.
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Another great chapter from you. It is good you are back to where you can write and post again. I hope that the creative urges are flowing and you write more on this soon.
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Out of "likes" again today so I cannot click that button. Hoe can you end the chapter there, argghh. Now another day before we find out Elizabeth's condition. And why does Aaron have bad memories of the hospital?
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Just read all of the chapters that you have posted so far in this story. It is very well written. You have really made the characters come alive. Now, let us hope that Elizabeth recovers and that Max doesn't have an emotional set back because of her illness.
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Another wonderful chapter. This is likely building to a big showdown with Uncle Martin and the two young guys in love. Should be exciting. I cannot wait. And on another topic, in your reply to my review of chapter 11 you mentioned Tears of Neko. I do hope that those characters are still rolling around in your brain somewhere and will make another appearance in a story in the future! You wrote the characters so well that they are like old friends that you don't want to have disappear.
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This is a great story and I am really enjoying reading it but one thing has been bothering me for the last few chapters. Shawn has seen Casey a couple of times now with no shirt or anything except maybe shorts on his body and nothing has been mentioned about the shock collar that uncle meany makes Casey wear. How could he have missed it? I know. If this small detail is all that there is to be worried about in life then it is a pretty good life, right? Sometimes, little details like this bug me. But, it is a great sotrya nd thank you for writing it.
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I really, really hate when you cannot sleep at night and you get up and get engrossed in a wonderful and well written story and then at the end of a chapter you get that message that you have run out of positive votes for the day. Darn it, cause I probably cannot say Damn it on here. So like like like like for all of those chapters that I didn't have enough positive votes to like!
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I really enjoyed the first 2 books in this series and hope that you continue with the 3rd. The characters are engaging and these books are very well written. I cannot wait for more!
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So very glad you are back!! This chapter like the was wonderful.
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Love these characters. This was a terrific story. Please write the next book in this series.
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How do you review a story like this? Hilarious! That's the one word that came to mind. Now where were they shoving those light bright pegs?
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And the plot begins to get more mysterious. Very good chapter. When I reached the end, my thoughts were, noooo it cannot stop here. More, more, more!
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This story was very good. You are a talented writer. This story almost seemed like and introduction to longer story about these two. If the voices of these characters are still rattling around in your head, I would love to read the rest of their story.
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Just realized today that you are writing and posting a new story. I caught up on the three chapters that you have posted so far and, as always with your work, they are wonderful. You are developing interesting characters and an intriguing plot. I cannot wait to read more. You really are such a wonderful writer.
