MikeL

Did Gabriel get one right then fall into a deep slumber?

I was surprised (and somewhat relieved) to learn that this thread had nothing to do with rocket propelled grenades.

IS SEX WORK? A U.S. Marine Colonel was about to start the morning briefing to his staff. While waiting for the coffee maker to finish its brewing, the colonel decided to pose a question to all assembled. He explained that his wife had been a bit frisky the night before and he failed to get his usual amount of sound sleep. He posed the question of just how much of sex was "work" and how much of it was "pleasure?" A Major chimed in with 75-25% in favor of work . A Captain said it was 50-50%. A lieutenant responded with 25-75% in favor of pleasure , depending upon his state of inebriation at the time. There being no consensus, the colonel turned to the PFC who was in charge of making the coffee. What was HIS opinion? Without any hesitation, the young PFC responded, "Sir, it has to be 100% pleasure." The colonel was surprised and, as you might guess, asked why. "Well, sir, if there was any work involved, the officers would have me doing it for them." The room fell silent.

A slow day in the Azores... (Not for the squeamish) http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LzL3f8HdEJw&feature=player_embedded

Two women were sitting next to each other at a bar. After a while, one looks at the other and says, ''I can't help but think, from listening to you, that you're from Ireland .'' The other woman responds proudly, ''Yes, I sure am!'' The first one says, ''So am I! And where about in Ireland are ya from?'' The other woman answers, ''I'm from Dublin , I am.'' The first one responds, ''So, am I!! And what street did you live on in Dublin?'' The other woman says, ''A lovely little area. It was in the west end. I lived on Warbury Street in the old central part of town.'' The first one says, ''Faith, and it's a small world. So did I! So did I! And what school did ya go to?'' The other woman answers, ''Well now, I went to Holy Heart of Mary, of course.'' The first one gets really excited and says, ''And so did I! Tell me, what year did you graduate?'' The other woman answers, ''Well, now, let's see. I graduated in 1964.'' The first woman exclaims, ''The Good Lord must be smiling down upon us! I can hardly believe our good luck at winding up in the same pub tonight! Can you believe it? I graduated from Holy Heart of Mary in 1964 me self !'' About this time, Michael walks into the bar, sits down, and orders a beer. Brian, the bartender, walks over to Michael shaking his head and mutters, ''It's going to be a long night tonight.'' Michael asks, ''Why do you say that, Brian?'' Brian answers, ''The Murphy twins are drunk again.''

Arkansas, Arkansas Fully Restored Desha County Courthouse

According to a New York Times criticism, "Blowing the Smooth Out of the Summer", Miley Cyrus was the producers' answer for what to do about Robin Thicke. http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_detailpage&v=f4BK9cglvQ4

There was a pilot flying a small, single engine charter plane, with a couple of very important executives on board. He was coming into Seattle airport through thick fog with less than ten miles' visibility when his instruments went out. So, he began circling around looking for a landmark. After an hour or so, he was running pretty low on fuel and the passengers were getting very nervous. Finally, a small opening in the fog appeared and he saw a tall building with one guy working alone on the fifth floor. The pilot banked the plane around, flipped down down the window and called to the guy, "Hey where am I?" To this question, the office worker replied, "You're in an airplane." The pilot flipped up the window, executed a 275 degree turn, and executed a perfect, blind landing on the runway of the airport, five miles away. Just as the plane stopped, so did the engine as the fuel had run out. The passengers were amazed and one asked how he did it. "Simple," replied the pilot. "I asked the guy in that building a simple question. The answer he gave me was 100% correct but absolutely useless. Therefore, I knew that the building must be Microsoft's support office. From there, the airport is just five miles due East."

That often happens...a person reflected in the subject's glasses in a photograph. Sometimes, there is a reflection of the camera.

It's a joke. Federal regulations do not apply.

"Sincerest', not "highest".

What else could he have written? Something realistic perhaps?

A sweet grandmother telephoned St. Joseph 's Hospital. She timidly asked, "Is it possible to speak to someone who can tell me how a patient is doing?" The operator said, "I'll be glad to help, dear. What's the name and room number of the patient ?" The grandmother in her weak, tremulous voice said “Norma Findlay, Room 302." The operator replied, "Let me put you on hold while I check with the nurse's station for that room." After a few minutes, the operator returned to the phone and said, "I have good news. Her nurse just told me that Norma is doing well. Her blood pressure is fine; her blood work just came back normal and her physician, Dr. Cohen, has scheduled her to be discharged tomorrow." The grandmother said, "Thank you. That's wonderful. I was so worried. God bless you for the good news." The operator replied, "You're more than welcome. Is Norma your daughter ?" The grandmother said, "No, I'm Norma Findlay in Room 302. No one tells me anything."

You are absolutely correct. We can't do good without doing harm.

Walking up to a department store's fabric counter, the pretty girl said, "I would like to buy this material for a new dress. How much does it cost?" "Only one kiss per yard," replied the male clerk, with a smirk. "That's fine," said the girl. "I'll take ten yards." With expectation and anticipation written all over his face, the clerk quickly measured out the cloth, wrapped it up, then teasingly held it out. The girl snapped up the package, pointed to the old man standing beside her and smiled, "Grandpa will pay the bill."

Yeah, the tanker is flying so low, it gets the automatic "landing gear" warning.

Video from cockpit of a California Air National Guard tanker as crews battle the huge Rim Fire burning near Yosemite National Park: http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=c_eGiGG1B-Q And from the International Space Station:

After being married for thirty years, a wife asked her husband to describe her. He looked at her for a while ... then said, "You're A, B, C, D, E, F, G, H, I, J, K." She asks ... "What does that mean?" He said, "Adorable, Beautiful, Cute, Delightful, Elegant, Foxy, Gorgeous, and Hot. She smiled happily and said ... "Oh, that's so lovely ... What about I, J, K?" He said, "I'm Just Kidding!" The swelling in his eye is going down and the doctor is fairly optimistic about saving his testicles.

Babe Watch? Or was it Bay Watch?

She probably hates this picture. Don't know who it is, but I'm guessing it's not Miley Cyrus. Also, probably not Annette Funicello. Desperately need a clue.

LOL. If I tried twerking, I would hurt myself.

Miley is giving twerking a bad name.

Nothing more dangerous than an electrician with a Sharpie.

Gabriel is coming out?