Mikiesboy

You are right too, and i won't quit trying. xo

************* WARNING... thoughts about death and dying. ************** To be honest, the thought of dying was terrifying to me. i thought about it all the time. First thought in the morning and the last at night. For years. Today, maybe i'm more accepting that, frankly, there is no damn choice in the matter. Now maybe how i die is what i dwell on. If given a choice, i'd rather just go to sleep and not wake up. That's why surgery really doesn't scare me. If i die there, i'll never know about it. Lingering scares me. i watched my mum die a slow death when i was a kid. She was brave but in pain and it was horrible to see her suffer and leave me more and more each day. I don't want to die that way. I know she didn't either. Leaving people behind scares me too. i don't want them to hurt. i guess as well, i don't want to be forgotten. But, realistically, most of us will be. i don't have children to carry on the family or anything, either. People who knew me will remember, until their time comes too. And i wonder, likes lots of us, is this it? Is there more (i really don't think so) but it would be cool if there was. But in the cold light of day, i think this is it. We are a fluke in this universe. We are bits of flotsam and we will just join all those who came before and are now gone. We each of us are here for only a brief, shining moment in time. i guess we need to do our best with it.

My gift to you all is peace. It is something i seek everyday and it's hard, sometimes, to find. Happy Friday, my friends.

Thank you for sharing this about your mom's life. i'm very sorry for your loss. You've so many memories that will be a comfort for you. And you were a champion for your mom in these last years. i wish you and your family, comfort and strength. tim xo

Yeats anyone? This is a wonderful poem...

Frog + Comedian =

Can't add much to this ... other than to say, i hope you all have love in your lives ... and someone who holds your heart ...

geez, i hope it does start to calm down soon ... lots of breaks and deep breathing.

Well, i now know they have male only private mental health hospitals in north western Scotland.

yes ... i like bright, shiny things ... my character needed a ringtone to wake him .. so i had to go and find one... then i thought about which and what and how do you download those to your own phone and which one would i like to have? no self control.

Hey ... one can dream and hope. Actually sat down to actually write words on a page this morning. Managed a few hundred before i went off in search of a good ringtone ... I dont want to miss a thing and wondering what kissing a steven tyler mouth would be like, led to listening to Pachelbel's canon in D by The Brooklyn Duo .. such a great arrangement for cello and piano. i love it ... then i managed to write some, before coming here ... i have zero self control, honestly. Rambling brain, messy thoughts, easily led astray have a wonderful Wed nes Day. now to finish cold coffee i made two hours ago .....

gonna try a new Mexican place not far from us on Friday.. Thursday is dentist (then Monday too) other wise just chilling out i think.

I'm off for the next four days... back to work Sunday... have a great day all!! Oh.. here you go.....

now i know what my problem is ... it's my storm cloud outfit.

I see okay. 45 hours? i will not complain anymore about having to work 35 hours in 5 days. I hope you have a nice holiday!

Are you coming in from work or going out to work?

This is so so true. Have a nice Saturday.

To all my wonderful friends ...

oh gosh, it was so lovely today. i had an emergency dental thing on Monday and walking to the dentist was like walking thru soup .. went back today for a follow up and wow, it was so gorgeous. No humidity. Just beautiful. i hope you're doing okay xoxo

Have a good Friday ...

Made those pancakes properly with the sweet potato. Wow, so much nicer than with the banana. They were delicious. http://www.eatbydate.com/healthy-pancakes/

so far we've escaped having it.. but yeah, i never really thought about the hiv and antidepressants and stuff i take. sending you positive thoughts xo

Now we have monkey pox to add to the mix. Here, men have been asked not to have sex with men. An LGBT+ group has said, "Don't start that business that it's only affecting gay/queer people because even if it were true, it's only a matter of time before others are affected." So far there are 450ish cases in Ontario ... and not much vaccine from what i've read. So stay outta the sandbox people.

Oh, man. That sucks. i hope you aren't feeling too bad. Take care, chris! xoxxoxo