kbois

So I totally forgot to look at blogs until today. Sue me. I miss Loe and Jay. They were fun to spend so much time with. A lot of time. Oh those last minute changes were a blast! Honestly though, this is a great story. Well worth a good binge session or two.

Awesomely awesome! Thanks for all your hard work!

So true.

Thanks. So far a tentative truce is in place. Not ideal, but better than last week.

Sometimes it's so hard.

Pretty sure @astone2292doesn't mind a little junk in the trunk but my trunk is in the wrong closet. Lol.

They are blowing smoke up Uranus.

@astone2292 is gonna have a field day with this one but he's gonna have a hard time topping @Mancunian (take that however you want) 🤭☺️

Who says tentacles are for octopuses?

ET, do you accept collect calls?

Wythuf would be proud!

You have no idea how much I appreciate your support. You are a safe place for me to seek out when I need it. A mere thank you seems inadequate, but I'll say it again anyway. Thank you.

Having members of this community such as you helps so much when I need a reminder of the positive and good things in my life. Thanks.

Just knowing that you understand brings me a sense of balance. You are one of the people I am proud of. You recognize your struggles and do the best you can to manage them. Thanks for supporting me and making a positive impact. ❤

I have a weakness for stupid natural disaster movies with bad acting and any apocalyptic end-of-world story. Engineer Benson is a great take on the classic zombie theme. I hated the break you took because I'm hooked on this story. I understand why though. Just don't do it again. Thanks @Wayne Gray for this little insight into your world.

Betrayal exists and is one of a few things that can rip your heart to shreds. This past week has been probably the worst experience I've gone through in my life. The hardest part for me is the unequivocal fact that the betrayal came from someone who was supposed to love me unconditionally and vice versa. When unconditional love starts to impose conditions which are only beneficial to one person it's time to step back and reevaluate. Even if that person is a vital part of your family. Are there things I could have done differently? Things I could have said or not said? Probably. It's a lifetime of 'what ifs'. Mental illness is real. It serves to disrupts the lives of those who it affects and those who know them. It's particularly hard on those who love them. It's a destroyer. It destroys relationships, it destroys dreams. It destroys hope. Worst of all, it destroys love. Yes, it can make people stronger and of course it can be managed. I have friends who have succeeded and done well even though they live with depression and anxiety and I'm so proud of them. But when mental illness is used as a crutch or a means to manipulate others it becomes a problem. Anyone living with someone who has mental health issues will tell you, that person is the only one who can decide to help themselves. When they refuse it wreaks havoc as this past week has shown me. Making the decision to go no contact with someone is difficult. I'm a fixer. I want to fix the problem, even if my attempts at fixing are rebuffed over and over again. But I had to face reality and cut ties in order to preserve my own mental health. I can no longer live with the constant lies, broken promises, and refusal to take accountability for one's actions. Am I okay? Absolutely not. Will I get through this? Absolutely. I don't know if the relationship will ever be repairable. Only time will tell. For now, I have to step back and let time pass. A few of you know the details and have bolstered me immensely these past few days. You know who you are. I can't thank you enough.

Is emotional and mental pain included? If so, apparently I'm all in.

Just wasn't feeling it, Boo. Sorry to disappoint.

❤

We all have our good days and we have our bad ones too. There are those days that are so good you want to freeze the moment to make it last as long as possible. Then there are days like the last few I've been having. Days that make me just want to get in my car and drive. It doesn't matter where, as long as I just keep going so I can escape the reality of the shit life throws my way. Unfortunately, the road to my happy place is closed due to needed repairs. It's not even what's happening to me that is causing me angst. It's those that I love the most. The hardest thing to do sometimes is nothing. I've said before that my circle is small, but for those in it, I will fight fiercely for them. Except when I can't. There are just some things that are out of my control. I hate it. It will pass. Bad times always do. It's hard. It hurts. I'm thankful I can come here and vent and know you understand.

You are right. You are the only one who can fight your demons. I am currently trying to come to grips with the realization that no matter what I do, my son has to fight his own battle himself. It's so hard to sit back and watch him self-destruct, but I have to. He knows we will be there when he needs us. I'm glad you're finding your feet again. I hope I can find half the strength Mike and Dan have so I can prop up my son when he needs it.

I admire the strength you have. Enduring a loved one's attempt at self-harm take a mental and emotional toll that comes with a high price. Trying to process the whys and what ifs is daunting and futile. There will always be guilt. I know this. I'm grateful you and tim have Dan to share your lives with and thankful he was there when tim needed him. I empathize with you and how you have so much going on in your life. I'm proud of you for going back to school and having goals you've set out to accomplish. Having a parent with a serious health issue and watching them battle it can be utterly draining, especially emotionally. I hope your dad gets through this okay. Thank you for sharing this part of your life. I needed to hear it. You know the reason why and I appreciate your support. It works both ways. My shoulder may be a lot closer to the ground, but it's here to lean on.

I needed a distraction tonight. Life has a way of throwing shit at you that warrants a need for something else to focus on. Your timing was spot on. Wayne and Mark needed a distraction too. Different reasons; but just as validating. I think they both realize it, but yes, if they are going to grow and figure out what they really want from each other and themselves, they're going to have to talk. Glad you got your focus and your mojo back. It's past my bedtime so off I go. Thanks Wayne.

Grand Epic, huh? I was kinda hoping for Phantasmagorical.