Mawgrim

In this short piece, I'm only touching on what would almost certainly happen. I suppose once everyone got used to it, things would calm down, but life would never be quite the same again.

Almost as soon as I’d tipped the contents of the phial into the aquifer, I began to regret it. My father’s warnings echoed in my head. ‘If everyone told the truth all the time, Mark, it would be terribly dangerous. We all tell tiny lies every day, just to smooth things over. Imagine if your mother asked me, “Does my bum look big in this dress?” and I said it did. She’d be upset and I’d feel bad. And that’s just a minor example. There could be fights; even murders…’ I was sure he’d been exag

Short chapter, but it grabs the attention. Interesting premise, as well.

G'dol is one of those arrogant so-and-so’s who knows it all. Probably why the Benden Weyrleader decided to get rid of him for a while.

Me too. I am writing a sequel about what happens to Zalna at Benden after the other five Weyrs disappear.

D’gar knew the moment Loranth had been caught. The tension over the Weyr lifted and dragonlust dissipated as if it had never been. Not that it stopped him and S’brin from finishing what they’d already started. In some ways, that made it better. Initially, it had been all about raw, physical need; scratching the itch that Loranth’s desire had awakened. Once the mating flight ended, their coupling became more of an expression of the love D’gar had hoped still existed between them. ‘I wonder w

There's definitely a connection between them, even if Maks hasn't figured it out yet. Aleks really fits the description 'mad, bad and dangerous to know'. But everyone needs a bad boy in their life now and then. Just better hope you hang on to your life!

Wincent isn’t going to be the easiest boyfriend to get rid of. Sounds like Maks is about to get dragged in to the underworld and might end up in a whole load of trouble he's never dreamed of.

Still can't guess what involvement Aleks had in the murder, unless maybe he was also an intended victim and managed to get away. But then, why would he be out in a club rather than hiding away?

Some of them will.

Very true. But now D'gar's got him where he wants him, there'll be no avoiding the much needed discussion.

I always write what I enjoy, otherwise it seems like a chore. Prior to writing 'Gone Away, Gone Ahead' I'd never ventured into fan fiction, although I'd read quite a lot of it. I find writing fanfic is more challenging, because you have to try and borrow another writer's voice and keep it true to the world you are writing in. There's a lot of going back to read the originals to get timelines right and to make sure canon characters seem authentic, even if you are exploring aspects of their personality that aren't covered in the original. Writing original fiction is easier in a lot of ways because you are designing your own world, its rules and characters from scratch. It doesn't give you a ready made audience, so you have to hook them early on. A lot of my original works are based around what I know about or am interested in. Years ago, another writer and I tried to go down the commercial road by writing women's romance fiction (we were in it only for the money) but we discovered that you still need to take the genre seriously. Our characters soon diverged from the set formula and we ended up with something that didn't really fit into the niche and unsurprisingly, didn't get published. That was when I realised how much hard work writing can be when you are trying to complete something and your heart isn't really in it.

Aleks is definitely up to something dodgy. Some great dialogue in this chapter. I particularly liked Why else would you do that if not to cut off my toes and keep them in the refrigerator?” He sounded deadly serious. “You’re either a psycho or painfully naïve.”

I like your way of summing up a character in just a few words: eyelashes so long that Maks was kind of scared to approach and get impaled on them. This is a very promising start; an exciting first chapter that leaves all sort of questions unanswered. I think you were right to keep the Polish names and locations. Your English is very good too, even if sometimes you get tenses a bit muddled it doesn't pull me out of the story.

That'll be after the hot sex!

It's one of the issues that isn’t really dealt with in the books. Anne McCaffrey did say in an interview that 'the dragon decides, the rider complies' and it was this whole problem that contributed to the tragedy over High Reaches when Prideth and Wirenth fought to the death.

Really feel for Matt in this chapter. Good job Seamus is so understanding and came up with a plan.

D’gar intended to talk to S’brin after dinner that night, but he was sitting with the other greens. ‘The crazy greens’, he’d found himself labelling them. The ones who seemed to try and outdo each other in wild aerobatics in the air and in drinking contests and notches on their bedposts when back at the Weyr. There was no talking to anyone sensibly when they were around, so he postponed it. The following day was a rest day. Herebeth said he wanted to eat first thing. D’gar sat on one of the

Good to read a story in which intelligent people, once over the initial shock, figure out how to carry on with their lives.

This story is an emotional rollercoaster. It’s a love story, but it’s also about coming to terms with who you are and living beyond the convenient labels society would like to tag everyone with. As I read this, I was moved, annoyed, frustrated and yet always hoping that Andy could sort out his feelings for Matt without destroying their friendship. There are layers to this story. It's well written enough to make it easy to read, but it also leaves you thinking.

Connor had almost convinced himself Jason would drop anything to go to Ireland with him. I can totally see why Jason couldn’t, being so concerned for his dad's health. I reckon Connor just rushed out because it was the only way he could deal with the situation. If Jason went with him and his dad had another heart attack, he’d never forgive himself. If Connor stayed, he'd end up resenting Jason for missing out on an opportunity that might not come again. Sad, but inevitable.

Fairly sure Jason's mum has figured it out. He's having a real rollercoaster of emotions at the moment. I liked the observation about hospitals being one of the few places where men can embrace in public without anyone thinking twice about it. Very true.

Moral of this chapter: turn off your phone before attempting to have sex!

Exactly. He's feeling insecure, which gives some of the others the opportunity to influence him. Ground duty is scary. Forests have their own problems. Although Thread is deeper, unstable trees can fall. Also, if the trees are too close, there isn’t room for a dragon to land, so you lose the safety tether.

He's starting to understand the consequences, just isn’t sure how to deal with them yet.