Mawgrim

That may well be the case. Maybe ‘C’ wing were just unlucky with the riders they picked, but I expect that with these secondments, some of the riders sent to other Weyrs may well be ones no one will miss for a few months.

Great saying. G'dol chose to ignore people he felt were unimportant compared to a bronze rider and definitely felt the consequences.

Flying with Herebeth was an experience D’gar would never grow tired of. Even if it was like this afternoon; a series of increasingly complex manoeuvres which he led as G’dol and Dorniath attempted to follow. Most of the time, he succeeded, too, which was slightly annoying. D’gar had assumed that G’dol’s boasting covered up his lack of skills, but it was as obvious to him as it must be to R’feem and his two Wingseconds that was not the case. Dorniath was exceedingly quick in the air, turning almo

Mike's managed to get away with it, as so many do. Great chapter, showing how both Aidan and Matt are growing up.

Love the way that Maks is concerned Aleks might start to take more notice of his sister than of him. He's falling for the guy and can't even see it.

I'm interested to see where this goes. Good opening chapter with some intriguing characters.

I only just found this story, but very glad that I did. It's a beautifully written account of the ways people can by hurt by others and although there are times when it's almost too much to carry on reading, the ultimate message is that love will overcome all the hurt.

Prompt 884 - just a short one: The Unfiltered Truth

Good job Maks turned up to rescue his sister. But he's just realised that adrenalin can be addictive and Aleks has him in his sights. Another great chapter. Loved the dialogue and the descriptions.

Yes. There'll always be some readers who like your tried and tested formula and just want you to keep writing the same sort of stuff. Published authors often get trapped in a genre and disappoint their readers when they venture into new territory. But writing the same type of stuff will get very boring for the author, so we all have to move on and hope that most of the readers will follow.

In this short piece, I'm only touching on what would almost certainly happen. I suppose once everyone got used to it, things would calm down, but life would never be quite the same again.

Almost as soon as I’d tipped the contents of the phial into the aquifer, I began to regret it. My father’s warnings echoed in my head. ‘If everyone told the truth all the time, Mark, it would be terribly dangerous. We all tell tiny lies every day, just to smooth things over. Imagine if your mother asked me, “Does my bum look big in this dress?” and I said it did. She’d be upset and I’d feel bad. And that’s just a minor example. There could be fights; even murders…’ I was sure he’d been exag

Short chapter, but it grabs the attention. Interesting premise, as well.

G'dol is one of those arrogant so-and-so’s who knows it all. Probably why the Benden Weyrleader decided to get rid of him for a while.

Me too. I am writing a sequel about what happens to Zalna at Benden after the other five Weyrs disappear.

D’gar knew the moment Loranth had been caught. The tension over the Weyr lifted and dragonlust dissipated as if it had never been. Not that it stopped him and S’brin from finishing what they’d already started. In some ways, that made it better. Initially, it had been all about raw, physical need; scratching the itch that Loranth’s desire had awakened. Once the mating flight ended, their coupling became more of an expression of the love D’gar had hoped still existed between them. ‘I wonder w

There's definitely a connection between them, even if Maks hasn't figured it out yet. Aleks really fits the description 'mad, bad and dangerous to know'. But everyone needs a bad boy in their life now and then. Just better hope you hang on to your life!

Wincent isn’t going to be the easiest boyfriend to get rid of. Sounds like Maks is about to get dragged in to the underworld and might end up in a whole load of trouble he's never dreamed of.

Still can't guess what involvement Aleks had in the murder, unless maybe he was also an intended victim and managed to get away. But then, why would he be out in a club rather than hiding away?

Some of them will.

Very true. But now D'gar's got him where he wants him, there'll be no avoiding the much needed discussion.

I always write what I enjoy, otherwise it seems like a chore. Prior to writing 'Gone Away, Gone Ahead' I'd never ventured into fan fiction, although I'd read quite a lot of it. I find writing fanfic is more challenging, because you have to try and borrow another writer's voice and keep it true to the world you are writing in. There's a lot of going back to read the originals to get timelines right and to make sure canon characters seem authentic, even if you are exploring aspects of their personality that aren't covered in the original. Writing original fiction is easier in a lot of ways because you are designing your own world, its rules and characters from scratch. It doesn't give you a ready made audience, so you have to hook them early on. A lot of my original works are based around what I know about or am interested in. Years ago, another writer and I tried to go down the commercial road by writing women's romance fiction (we were in it only for the money) but we discovered that you still need to take the genre seriously. Our characters soon diverged from the set formula and we ended up with something that didn't really fit into the niche and unsurprisingly, didn't get published. That was when I realised how much hard work writing can be when you are trying to complete something and your heart isn't really in it.

Aleks is definitely up to something dodgy. Some great dialogue in this chapter. I particularly liked Why else would you do that if not to cut off my toes and keep them in the refrigerator?” He sounded deadly serious. “You’re either a psycho or painfully naïve.”

I like your way of summing up a character in just a few words: eyelashes so long that Maks was kind of scared to approach and get impaled on them. This is a very promising start; an exciting first chapter that leaves all sort of questions unanswered. I think you were right to keep the Polish names and locations. Your English is very good too, even if sometimes you get tenses a bit muddled it doesn't pull me out of the story.