CincyKris
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Part Two. Chapter Seven.
CincyKris commented on Mrsgnomie's story chapter in Part Two. Chapter Seven.
Did Dayna throw that ball from the afterlife?- 167 comments
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A List of Things You’re Not Allowed
CincyKris commented on Laura S. Fox's story chapter in A List of Things You’re Not Allowed
I was trying to not get emotionally invested in these characters, due to the dark and potentially dangerous vibe. But my giant sigh of relief when Hudson rescued Otis proves that I was unsuccessful. Oh well, bring it on! -
I was thinking the same about Vincent, and all the "Vincents" of the time. So many gay men and women ignored a huge part of their lives to have a family, home, career. I picture Vincent as a good man, a good father, a good farmer. He may love his wife, as you would a best friend. But, it's not quite the same. Bittersweet was the perfect word. Hopefully, some day, he will find his forever love. Just not Jubal, he's going to be off the market. Maybe Reid will still be available?
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I can picture the look on Trudy's face when someone explains fruit emojis! “I have a lot of great eggplant recipes. It’s one of Jed's favorite veggies as well. That’s probably where Perry gets it from.”
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The whole eggplant section had me laughing as hard as Charlie! Trudy added the perfect topper to the conversation. Poor Kyan has no idea that everyone already knew, I'm sure he'll be relieved in the next chapter when he realizes everyone is happy and supportive. And they will never be able to have eggplant without giggling ever again.
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I loved the positive, hopeful feel of this chapter. The guys enjoyed a leisurely bit of flirting, especially Lucas, when they awakened. Jubal is feeling valued and useful, I think that will be important to his healing. Lucas is feeling proud and validated, his loneliness is abating.
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To be fair, I'm more of a beer and bourbon person. If the only thing on tap is cheap mass marketed beer, I'll just pass.
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I identify with Tom in the last couple of chapters. I am a foodie but not an oenophile. I haven't had a processed frozen meal (frozen pizza does not count) in a couple decades. Fresh food tastes better, and it's not that hard. However, grocery store wine.....hell yes!
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My favorite chapter so far! This Mitch is so much more likable than the Mitchell from the first few chapters of book one!
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Please do not encourage that kind of behavior!
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The one thing I know for sure is that Micco did not kill Sam. I usually hesitate to agree with the early guesses by @weinerdog, for obvious reasons 🙄, but I think Sam was set up by one of his frenemies. The absence of Martina is very interesting.
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I find it interesting that all the witnesses, the doctors, were allowed to listen to all the other's testimony. That certainly isn't the case with expert witnesses today.
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I'm intrigued with the potential of Tom and Mitch. I'm also very curious about the end of Tom and Kit. What happened to "I am the Kit", with all that possession? It doesn't sound like their relationship lasted that long.
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Just an FYI in this otherwise enjoyable story, because one works in a warehouse, or restaurant, or retail store, or anywhere besides an office does not mean you "have half a brain"! I know you have done some editing to this story to remove some offensive and cringey language, the following quote also doesn't sound like Tom, maybe Kit. “Fun? Shoving boxes around all day, order-picking; that’s your idea of fun? You really don’t believe that shit yourself, do you? I was going to do the real fun stuff; legal stuff. Nice, clean surroundings. Coffee by the truckload. Work with people that have half a brain. That, I was looking forward to.”
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Yes, this! Beckett's realization that he wants this new world, maybe even needs this new world, will be a turning point. Also, I'm a little surprised we haven't already been in a dungeon, it seems very appropriate. Off to the tunnels!
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Like father, like son! At least Kit seems a little less pushy, but already assuming his mate will stay at home with the kids?
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I really like the playful interplay between Kit and Taylan. He seems to be an easy kid to love.
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I like this start, Taylan has certainly not turned into a submissive house husband, as I'd feared.
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Wow!!!! This was an amazing start! It's unbelievable how emotionally evocative your writing is, I can see, smell, hear, and feel the humid lush foliage in the early dawn. I am looking forward to Micco's story.
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I'm looking forward to part 2, as other readers stated this was a fun romp. I can't help but hope that the relationship gets more even.
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Can someone please explain why a responsible 15 year old needs a full time stay at home parent? What Taylan going to do all day for the 9 months a year that Kit is in school? Is this set in 2004 or 1954?
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This one felt like a step back instead of forwards. It's not as if Taylan isn't speaking up for himself, Mitchell is just a bulldozer!
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I'm liking Mitchell more and more, I'm glad you're going to work on his character in part 3. One aspect of his personality is still bugging me, his very typical "rich guy" entitlement. Back in 2004, it was a big deal to change jobs when you had a good one. This was before smart phones and a plethora of online job sites. His arrogance caused Taylan to feel he had to find another job, and he doesn't seem to feel any guilt over it.
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The first chapter in which Mitchell is likeable! Kit is great, I wonder why Mitchell is such a dickhead at work?
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If I were Taylan in real life, I would go out of town or to a hotel and start my job search. But then there wouldn't be a story. Like teen slasher movies, if everyone made good decisions, there would be no movie. Sometimes you just have to suspend reality and go with it.
