CincyKris
-
Posts
2,873 -
Joined
-
Last visited
Content Type
Forums
Stories
- Stories
- Story Series
- Story Worlds
- Story Collections
- Story Chapters
- Chapter Comments
- Story Reviews
- Story Comments
- Stories Edited
- Stories Beta'd
Blogs
Store
Help Center
Writing
Gallery
Events
Everything posted by CincyKris
-
I loved the positive, hopeful feel of this chapter. The guys enjoyed a leisurely bit of flirting, especially Lucas, when they awakened. Jubal is feeling valued and useful, I think that will be important to his healing. Lucas is feeling proud and validated, his loneliness is abating.
- 78 comments
-
- 20
-
-
-
To be fair, I'm more of a beer and bourbon person. If the only thing on tap is cheap mass marketed beer, I'll just pass.
-
I identify with Tom in the last couple of chapters. I am a foodie but not an oenophile. I haven't had a processed frozen meal (frozen pizza does not count) in a couple decades. Fresh food tastes better, and it's not that hard. However, grocery store wine.....hell yes!
-
My favorite chapter so far! This Mitch is so much more likable than the Mitchell from the first few chapters of book one!
-
Please do not encourage that kind of behavior!
-
The one thing I know for sure is that Micco did not kill Sam. I usually hesitate to agree with the early guesses by @weinerdog, for obvious reasons 🙄, but I think Sam was set up by one of his frenemies. The absence of Martina is very interesting.
- 33 comments
-
- 10
-
-
-
I find it interesting that all the witnesses, the doctors, were allowed to listen to all the other's testimony. That certainly isn't the case with expert witnesses today.
-
I'm intrigued with the potential of Tom and Mitch. I'm also very curious about the end of Tom and Kit. What happened to "I am the Kit", with all that possession? It doesn't sound like their relationship lasted that long.
-
Just an FYI in this otherwise enjoyable story, because one works in a warehouse, or restaurant, or retail store, or anywhere besides an office does not mean you "have half a brain"! I know you have done some editing to this story to remove some offensive and cringey language, the following quote also doesn't sound like Tom, maybe Kit. “Fun? Shoving boxes around all day, order-picking; that’s your idea of fun? You really don’t believe that shit yourself, do you? I was going to do the real fun stuff; legal stuff. Nice, clean surroundings. Coffee by the truckload. Work with people that have half a brain. That, I was looking forward to.”
-
Yes, this! Beckett's realization that he wants this new world, maybe even needs this new world, will be a turning point. Also, I'm a little surprised we haven't already been in a dungeon, it seems very appropriate. Off to the tunnels!
-
Like father, like son! At least Kit seems a little less pushy, but already assuming his mate will stay at home with the kids?
-
I really like the playful interplay between Kit and Taylan. He seems to be an easy kid to love.
-
I like this start, Taylan has certainly not turned into a submissive house husband, as I'd feared.
-
Wow!!!! This was an amazing start! It's unbelievable how emotionally evocative your writing is, I can see, smell, hear, and feel the humid lush foliage in the early dawn. I am looking forward to Micco's story.
- 25 comments
-
- 13
-
-
-
I'm looking forward to part 2, as other readers stated this was a fun romp. I can't help but hope that the relationship gets more even.
-
Can someone please explain why a responsible 15 year old needs a full time stay at home parent? What Taylan going to do all day for the 9 months a year that Kit is in school? Is this set in 2004 or 1954?
-
This one felt like a step back instead of forwards. It's not as if Taylan isn't speaking up for himself, Mitchell is just a bulldozer!
-
I'm liking Mitchell more and more, I'm glad you're going to work on his character in part 3. One aspect of his personality is still bugging me, his very typical "rich guy" entitlement. Back in 2004, it was a big deal to change jobs when you had a good one. This was before smart phones and a plethora of online job sites. His arrogance caused Taylan to feel he had to find another job, and he doesn't seem to feel any guilt over it.
-
The first chapter in which Mitchell is likeable! Kit is great, I wonder why Mitchell is such a dickhead at work?
-
If I were Taylan in real life, I would go out of town or to a hotel and start my job search. But then there wouldn't be a story. Like teen slasher movies, if everyone made good decisions, there would be no movie. Sometimes you just have to suspend reality and go with it.
-
I think I started this and must have stopped reading because I couldn't find anything likable about Mitchell. I'm reading this because you are currently writing the third book. I can only assume that Mitchell becomes a better person, otherwise why would Taylan, or the readers, stick around that long.
-
Let's please remember that he's not dead dead. Perhaps a story set in an alternative universe of souls would be in order.
-
Chapter 5 Lay of the Land
CincyKris commented on Headstall's story chapter in Chapter 5 Lay of the Land
Thank you for letting them finally wash the dead men's blood off! It may only have been a short time for them, but it's been weeks for us!- 54 comments
-
- 16
-
-
-
-
Chapter 5 Lay of the Land
CincyKris commented on Headstall's story chapter in Chapter 5 Lay of the Land
I enjoyed the men getting used to each other, I'm sure the getting to know each other will soon follow. I can't help but wonder who caused Jubal's giant walls. It doesn't sound like it was Vincent, although there was some hurt there at his loss to living a "conventional" life. The marks on his neck probably have a lot to do with his wariness (and weariness).- 54 comments
-
- 17
-
-
-
Chapter 63 A Brilliant Move
CincyKris commented on Headstall's story chapter in Chapter 63 A Brilliant Move
Just finished my third read of this wonderful story! Obviously I would love more of it, but I also think it's great as it is. This was a great stopping point, you could feel their enthusiasm for the future without the necessity of reading that future.
