jfalkon
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Everything posted by jfalkon
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The way you created an original mythology is impressive. The gods reminded me of the ancient Greek and Roman gods and other dieties people worshiped in those times. They were all terribly flaud and sometimes in worse ways than the humans they ruled over. The separation of Cay and Oak also had the feel of ancient mythology. It makes me wonder what would happen to the seasons if the two ever got to spend time together. Maybe that could be a mythological explanation of some of the shifts in weater patters we experience from time to time like unusualy warm winters of extreamy rainy springs.
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I'm happy you continued writing about these characters. You have something uniquely wonderful here. I hope you continue the story because I am curius about King Tut's afterlife and of course Horus' reaction.
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The Legend of Treehaven Woods
jfalkon commented on Valkyrie's story in 2016 - Winter - Rewind: Pre-2016 Themes
I like the way you structured the story where we discovered the details a little at a time. Mathew's aunt and uncle remind me a little of Harry Potter's aunt and uncle. I wonder if Mathew's aunt has an interesting backstory that we have not heard about yet. I can't wait for the sequel! -
Blake's mother reminds me of what we call "stage parents" in LA. They live through their children's success and often push their children to work harder no matter how well the child is doing. I wonder how the story would have looked through the eyes of either of the twins. Maybe they thought Blake was luck not to be under such close scrutiny growing up. It must be hard living in a family like that. I am an only child so I can't say I relate to the experience exactly but you made his feelings very easy for me to understand. I enjoyed reading your story and I love the happy ending.
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This story made me wonder about the state of mind of each character. At first I thought Dana would run off into the snow. When he stayed inside I thought things would calm down. Then, when Ivan started reliving memories from his past I thought he might turn on his new house guest. I was happy that it ended with some optimism. I imagine that both characters will always have to be vigilant not to slip into old habits.
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I love your descriptions of the wild west! I don't know much about the history of how the West was settled but what you wrote felt very real. All the details painted a vivid picture for me. Thank you!
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I enjoyed this story. The mother was priceless! Some of her lines made me cringe but most of her reactions made me laugh. Slaping her son when he told her she was going to be a grandmother was not what I would have expected.
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I love the detailed descriptions of the characters in this story. The colors and the wings and hoofs paint a picture of a very strange meeting. My favorite part is when the main character realizes that he is seeing things that no one else is seeing. The scene in the emergency room is great too.
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Happy Holidays!
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Your descrition of wet cloths and the cold wind gave me goose bumps. I am a spoiled Californian who had to bail water out of a fooded back yard in the rain last week so the idea of being stuck in a blizard was a little frightning for me. The description of the two warm bodies wrapped in blankets more than made up for it! I also love the way you had them confined to smaller and smaller spaces. In most cases that would give the reader a sense of claustrophobia but you were able to use it to show the growing emotional closeness between the two characters.
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I realy enjoyed this. When Bill first woke up to find his home rearanged I though it might have been something supernatural but I guess he was just a sound sleeper. His relationship with his neighbors is something to aspire to. Having friends near by is priceless.
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I love that you used the Egyptian mythology in your story. I don't know too much about the Egyptian myths but I remember reading a few at some point. The general impression I got was that the gods had rather complex relationships and all kinds of adventures. Your story actualy reminded me of the ancient ones.
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I think you captured what a coroner must go through on the job perfectly. There used to be a show on tv that I would watch. It showed a real medical examiner going about her job. She would receive someone's body and start to examine the person. As the hour went on she would discover who the person was, how they lived and died. There were times when the medical examiner would be quite sad when she learned about a person. Some of them really were forgotten until she told their story.
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I love the image of the dark butterfly. It reminded me of the black butterflies that are used as a symbol of death in certain cultures. You conveyed the characters' emotions well. I have never had my personal belongings stolen but there was a break in and theft at my workplace. It left me feeling angry and distracted.
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I am amazed at the vivid images you are able to create with so few words!
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I agree with everyone who said there should be a sequel. Your blue alien was my favorite character of this anthology. The interaction between him and Ruben made me laugh a number of times.
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Thank you for continuing the story! The ending gave me some hope but it alsomakes me wonder what will come next. I hope you continue writing about these characters.
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While I have read many stories where a character gets amnesia this one is original in the way it shows the effect it had on all the people involved. It reveals the complexity and uncertainty that is present in all human relationships.
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I really enjoyed reading this story. I love the way Chase's feelings for Terry and Brook's feelings for Siera mirrored each other. All your characters were very interesting. I particularly liked Terry.
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I love the ending! I did not see it coming at all!
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Finding the Line
jfalkon commented on craftingmom's story in 2016 - Fall - Blindsided / The Forgotten
I love your characters, especialy Ryan. He handeled the situation in a calml and thoughtful way. -
Thank you! I am happy that you liked it. I was a little nervouse about writing the letters. They not only had to fit into the time period but they had to reveal the writer's feelings.
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Thank you for the great review. Its interesting that you brought up the one sided correspondence. I recently heard that people are more likely to listen to a conversation if they can only hear one side. I guess it leaves something to the imagination.
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Great story! I love the characters you created. The dialogue made me laugh a few times.
