Fishwings

"Cum hither," Cia crooned in a horse voice. "NOOOOOOOO," Renee screamed, shuttering as she fled.

On dear, that would be under "7 most common writing catastrophes" :0 But I totally agree.

Holy shit that bod.

I am honestly JUST doing a paper on the narrative aspects of video games hahah. It depends! I like both. For realism type games I like Dead Space, but for more escapist types I really enjoyed Twilight Princess (which is arguably the most realist out of the series). Story is a big factor in video games for me so yes, I do in that sense prefer games that are more similar to novels and movies in that regard (but that does not mean I like games that are made from movies and novels.......... I avoid those like the plague), ones which have more of a three act structure as opposed to sandbox-like or God game genres.

It's the fact that he called this generation the worst ever that had me shaking my head. He leaves out all the sexism and racism that was present back in the day, all the horrors committed upon immigrants, the past ignorance regarding environmental protection policies; doesn't talk about any of the new era scientific breakthroughs, progressive acceptance of parts of the country; and doesn't mention those bombs which was dropped in the middle of two cities populated with civilians. There's no such thing as the "best" country -- US never was such a flawless country before and blaming it on this generation is stupid. What can "rankings" tell you? Take Japan for example. it was one of the leading powers in the world. They ranked very high in militant power and sciences and life expectancies (and still do in certain areas). Does that negate what they did in Nanjing? Nope.

L O L I LOVED THIS PROMPT.

I liked this poem. It was very blatant and honest. These lines, although simple, I thought were the most powerful: "When his ass was finished, he spoke into my ear. “You tell no one, no one ever, I’ll hurt your mom, and then I’ll hurt you.""

*hugs*

I'm glad you saw the ending as happy. That was what I wanted to instill into this story -- surprising hope amidst the inevitable tragedy. Thank you very much for reviewing and reading "Six Seconds" Jo Ann.

Yes, one of the things that I wanted to get across in this story is the pain that results from fragile friendships and love. I'm glad I have been able to kept your interest through the story.

Hi Jo Ann. You're very perceptive in your analysis ("Sage is scared to stay and Callen is scared to let him go."). That was pretty much exactly what I was aiming for there. Thank you for the kind words.

Haha yes. We all know that that's the best way to shirk our responsibilities!

Hi Jo Ann, thank you for stopping by. I am very happy that you enjoyed this chapter. And please, tell me of any unfinished business you have : )

Omg that's so cool *A* The picture is beautiful too!

Yes, "good things come to those who wait." Or maybe like.... "good things are made when people are patient." LOL

........... well not that you shot anyone with a 9mm on GA, but you know what I mean.

LOLOL don't worry, what happens on GA stays on GA

Hello Circle, thank you so much for leaving such a thoughtful and kind review. It means a lot coming from such a great writer yourself, and I am glad that my story had a moving overall effect on you. Also, thanks for all the detailed critiques + typo spotting. I shall go back and fix them. You highlighted some very detailed yet significant suggestions that I'll definitely take in to account in the future. I still have a lot to learn with regards to what parts of my prose is overly pedantic and what parts aren't. I tried to weave in description of the characters as seamlessly as possible but looking at the piece so many times makes me very habituated at it so I'm glad to have a third person to look at it!

LOLLLL you are awesome. If I was the coyote I would have a heart attack. This made for a great read.

I think Libby reinforces a big point here -- planning. I think no matter how good a writer you are if you post chapters along the way it will always be of lesser quality than if you plan the whole thing, write it, and then post it. That way if you want to go back and give your story direction it will be possible.

Awesome tips as always libby... and this is being saved onto my computer too!

It's just safer to always put it in. A lot of the times you won't notice that it doesn't make logical sense coz it makes sense in your mind.

:< Great song. I've loved it since it came out. It holds a very simple but strong message.

I just died of cuteness overdose.

Oh I guess I'm not the only one who thought that :0 I think it was just the whole "the woman looked strangely familiar" and we all just immediately jumped to the conclusion that it was Teddy with breasts. But I don't think it detracted from the story xD