W_L

Well, Long story short, my holiday break from GA was extended up to February due to Chinese New Years and cold in the middle of January. I have missed you guys immensely . News from me: -Still unemployed, now along with 3 million other happy souls, hurray!!! -Still going to grad school, had to reduce courseload due to money conservation, but I will finish this year even under a tight budget. -Dating again, Staunch liberal democrat and MIT computer undergrad. I don't know why, but I kind of understand him on so many levels. I am really happy to have found a nice guy and hope it might last; he is trying to get me to change my evil conservative ways. I ain't whipped yet, but those cute puppy dog eyes are getting to me. Other than that; it's the same old, same old.

I thought this movie would be a good thing to discuss over here instead of politics forum. I looked at the previews for Prayers for Bobby and I felt very strongly and didn't know if I wanted to watch it. The story is set in the 1970's about a gay kid, who has been raised to reject his homosexuality in his ultra-religious conservative family. He ended up committing suicide due to his mother's assertion that she did not want a gay son. I have read comments about this movie and it kind of makes me cry just to think about Bobby's situation. I know some of you guys are in similar conditions trapped with family members who do not understand or tolerate your sexuality, too. I realized that the world of the 1970's are still prevalent today; even with all the support, gay teenagers commit suicide at an alarming larger rate than their straight counterparts.

Beautiful and honest, just a little is enough to alter one person's life.

Merry Late Christmas, Happy Holidays! And if I forget later, Happy New Years!!!

Our little boy is growing up!!! LOL! Happy Birthday, my friend.

By the way, plot alert: I noticed this on my second read.

Let's see: I am still not employed yet; most likely I will do part-time work during tax season, if I do not find a good company to work for. Lucky for me, this year's taxes will leave a lot of people asking questions and I can pretty much show them a way through the economic downturn. Not high paying work as I could on the corporate side, but I got to make a living, hehe! I am still lonely, which most likely will not change anytime soon. Am I too picky in the men I like? No, but I do prefer an amount of emotional connection and understanding. I can deal with drama very well, but I prefer complete honesty and someone that understands the idea of compromise in a relationship. To be a good lover; sometime you can't have thing your way, you got give him some room to grow into his own person and he must do the same for you. I understand the problem with relationship is sometimes too much of one side or another. Let's hope my true partner exists in this vast world. *On a side note, I kind of fallen for a Scottish/Australian guy, who I met at a Political event hosted by the Republican Party (strange place to find hot guys, I know). I doubt that there is any true quality of connection on his end toward me, but I kind of felt something. He is basically a European styled conservative, which for me works wonders and I love his insights, along with his accent, since he lived in for a few years Australia and was born in Scotland. I know it is foolish and lackluster to fall for a guy at first sight in this day and age. I barely know him and most likely he is not even gay, so there is no point in looking too much at it. Unlike some of the stories around, love does not come in unexpected places like a republican party event. Well that's my short entry.

Actually, there has been a few conspiracy theories about tsunamis or earthquakes and nuclear testing links. I wonder if our friendly Goat will apply 1+1 together for fiendish plot of revenge. I am starting to like the strong women characters in your stories more than the gay characters right now; CJ is turning me straight, hehe! Honestly, Felicia and the General would make an interesting dynamic duo.

I love the goat so much for his love of cliffs!!! I agree with the Felicia assessment, I like my women slightly butch and aggressive, hehe! By the way, Eric is coming along nicely; he just needs a little patience and love to blossom. Can't wait to see the next chapter CJ.

Sorry to here about the misery in school Shadey; it sucks, but glad to know you are soldiering on. Giv'em Hell!

"Marriage is defined as a union between One Man and One Woman" Well, I have an interesting concept, how do you define man and woman? If you apply sexual organs, then what if the guy lost his balls due to an accident? What if the woman is infertile due to a genetic condition? Would they still be denied the right to marry base on this law? Get the lawyers on the case and we can have some fun if the proponents try to argue against a woman, who has lost her ability to reproduce, from marrying due to the definition of this law. So, sexual organs cannot work. Then, why don't we apply a hormonal expression defining man and woman? If that is done, we basically have won the battle. There are trace amounts of Estrogen and Testosterone in both men and women, which varies to degrees on their organic chemistry. If we apply this principle, there is no way to define "a man and woman" without excluding a good proportion of heterosexuals from marriage as well. Anyone think my crazy idea has merit and any lawyers out there want to try this out? We can play a game of legal definitions to make the proposition impossible to uphold due to defining elements within the framework of human sexual identity.

Today, I went in for another interview at another regional accounting firm. They were a nice firm and pretty decent decor. I got to talk to the managing partner, aka. the Boss of the local office. I can tell you the guy had a worn out look in his face; slightly old and a bit battered. He had been at the firm after the Arthur Andersen collapsed. He was a decent guy and a really nice human being. We went through the stages and talked about my work experience as an intern and my specialties. Then, we got into my personal details: For anyone who did not know, I was formerly a College Vice Chair of the Republican Party and District Coordinator, never understood what I did in the latter aspect except say "hi", check people off lists, then go to meetings. We talked about policies and I was surprised by some of his frankness; we both thought Palin was a really bad choice for VP and there were a lot of problems. I didn't bring up the gay topic, because (a) Business people usually do not want to hear who you are sleeping with and (b.) Most upper management are pretty conservative. Somehow during our back and forth, we went into the topic and I got an interesting surprise. He said that he thought, "The party highest principle should be to let people do whatever they want" and he was very open about the entire gay issues that the Republicans have pushed due to religious influence. I did not come out to him, but it was truly good to know some one else felt the same way. However, he did vote for McCain, but it was mainly due to foreign policy and a hope of better fiscal policy in the future. I feel good to know there are people like that around, and sad since you never hear about people like him. He showed me pictures of his kids and told me about his experience and what being a good accountant and consultant should be. I may not choose his firm or his firm may not choose me, but I felt a bit better in my heart. Other stuff: I got into another fight with a friend over prop 8 stuff; he called me a "know it all guy" after I told him the Democrats are moving toward the Religious conservatives even more and it is likely with the recent defeats of Gay Rights' they will not be so quick to support us. It has only been a little more than an hour, but I searched my soul and I think he is right. I have an IQ of 147 and I really do act it out sometimes. I know a lot of different things from different disciplines and I still want to learn and acquire even more information, but there is a point that I got to realize a certain truth, I can't know everything. I hate being smart and I hate being active in that type of intelligence, damn it. I wish I could be one of those smart silent asian guys, but I am not. I might try to make myself out to be shy and demure in real life, but in reality, I like being an aggressive Top. I seriously can't hide my nature and desire in that regard like I tried my sexuality as a teenager. I have a complicated moral compass and a complicated code of honor. I will fight you for causes that I believe in, but I am willing to change and acknowledge that I was wrong if it comes to it. I don't like absolute in anything and maybe that is something people really don't understand about me most. What I mean by absolutes is ideals that you hold for me one day will not be the same for me tomorrow. It does not mean I am bipolar, but I develop my personal ideals as time goes by. I still retain somethings in my heart like sentimentalism, which is my greatest weakness. I attach honor and emotional strengths in principles, but I am in a constant state of fighting those same principles that I put such emphasis on. I have internal debates like the one I had after the "Know it all" statement. That's another one of my many coping mechanism that I learned to adjust. As a teenager, I did many things I am not proud of in order to shield my sexuality; I hated myself and had my own personal demons from that period still within. I know that part of me is still alive and he is not going to be destroyed. I must live with him and live with the pain I caused others and the irreparable damage I did. I used my adjustment mechanisms first to reason out why my parents divorced and I accepted part of the reason was my disability, which my mother actually said during a drunken state to my face. I fought portions of my disabled tag from elementary school and up. I never let the kids on the bus that tease me cause me to falter in front of them. I fought my own weaknesses in vision with only one operational eye and survived. I reasoned my problems and achieved greater sucess as I went. I developed it in my teenage years to use reason to get through the tough times. I have gone through many emotional tragedies, but I cannot allow them to break me. Yet, I succomb to fear from being gay for so long as a teenager and I only come to realize that it was wrong. That's alot of psycho-analysis for people to write a doctoral dissertation. So these little mechanism help me adjust and make sure I keep my focus. I have many character flaws and many problems, but everyone does. The only difference is I am willing to admit it to myself first and foremost. It might take me time, but I try to change everyday and improve. So that is my rant for today ------------------------------------ P.S: I got a sinus Cold earlier in the day, so it was quite a sight with me having a runny nose and itchy eyes. Since, I have a variant of glaucoma it puffs my eyes a bit more than usual inflaming them red and pretty scary with veins.

Seriously, there are a million things racing through my head. Should I be compelled to warn people again and again to a future that I have predicted in far too scary formation and accuracy? Then these blog entries are psychic readings and maybe I should charge rates higher than Ms. Cleo with her crystal ball. I predicted a split of the Republican Party with elements re-aligning in favor of Democrats 6 months ago. I predicted that black voters will most likely not help and possibly hurt gay rights by and large in California, which polls not only from CNN, but LA Times have now proven me sorrowfully right (Do a check on all the polls and tell me one that did not show black voters overwhelming support prop 8, because I want to believe that black voters were not so heartless). Should I talk about Economic issues? The Stock Market fell 400 points in Dow Industrial on Wednesday, which analyst do not understand a reasoning for. I would call it a anticipation correction; rising close to 900 points a week ago was a miracle and it really should have been taken in stride. Moderate Rises and falls of 100-200 points are good and healthy for a recession economy. Popular desire to see an ever growing stock market is a bit foolish and naive to the least; you must have corrections along the way to counter attack too much steam from overheating. By the way, estimates on holiday shopping is looking pretty bleak; even for online and high end retailers. The consensus is a large decline in the coming months and possible less hirings during the usual busy holiday season. I hope it is proven wrong, but people are buying less and there is less credit to buy new stuff today. It is not a fun thing to know that more people are not going to get jobs and more people are projected to get fired. I have friends in the big firms, who told me two words that should scare the professionals: "Hiring Freeze" and "Corporate Reorganization". Basically, it means that we are not going to hire anyone new, so "College grads are out of luck unless you got a great connection", and we are firing people, "sorry kid but your a first year and the other guys have more experience". Pretty sad news to pick up. Should I talk about my beliefs? Hmmm.....I am an odd guy. Gay of course, but I still believe in certain areas that make me Christian. Actually, I doubt any church shares my beliefs in faith and God. I know most people don't believe or choose not to due to either hatred for religious Conservatives or the simple fact that God seems like make believe. I choose an applied belief with a different idea that the Bible is not the sole source of God's words. I also counter the belief in absolute principes in religion, which has been a fundamental ideal in religious dogma for over three thousand years. I see religion and spiritual growth as something to strive for. You should seek some way to find peace both externally and internally; even if it means there are times that you must fight. I try never to start a fight unless there is a great need for one, but I will not stay away from one. I don't turn the other cheek or allow the universe to unfold in absence as ascribed by certain Buddhist principles (Yup, I studied a little Buddhism, too). So basically, it makes me a really huge Heretic against many of the world religions, since I mix and use certain philosophies that seem to work better without others. It could also make me a revolutionary depending on who writes the history books in a hundred years. Anything else, let's see, I like animals: I have dog named lucky, used to work with feed and clean cats when neighbors were on vacation, and had four other pets that my mother cooked (Very long and traumatic story involving my pet rabbit and turtles). For the guys looking for a boyfriend, I like reading, writing, debating politics and policy, video games mostly strategy, cooking, TV and pop culture (have an encyclopedic knowledge of certain obscure tv shows and very well verse in Star Trek, sorry!), camping if i have the time, skiing if it is possible again time, and anything fun. Yup I am high maitenance. So that is all for today.

I love the ending, but there is so much more. I am making a bet here: Other than that it was a good moderate cliffhanger, but there is so much more. Everyone was in character and the foreshadowing is both ominous and evil.

Aww....I thought we would get to dine on goat! :P

There is still so much of the story left; I do not think Eric can live up to the promise of "no Tequila". I think we are starting to see a lot of character movement; Eric's closet is opened slightly. The additional ominous symbol at the end of the wedding adds more for Eric in the next few chapters than he bargained for. By the way, I am getting a different outlook from Eric's Tequila use; each time he drinks Tequila, it might appear to be bad to everyone involved, but it turns out to be a great positive in the future. Eric's Tequila drinking helped form Instinct, foil Scar on more than one occasion, and it helped Brandon and Chase now deal with their silent problem. Perhaps, tequila is actually the catalyst for a great deal of good and I will go one step forward by saying that Tequila is the unsung hero of LMTP and maybe changing lanes as it is now.

It could have been worse; Biker's have a very rigid code of honor and breaking it could mean death even among Bikers. I think CJ had fine line with how it would work out, which is really hard to do with this story involving Bikers and gay rock stars. If it was me, I would have the homophobic guys beaten to death by their clubs for disrespecting a host and the orders of the presidents, but CJ did well to keep it less bloody and the audience a bit more respect for the Biker community. Now for Eric, I actually think Chase would forgive Brandon, but he might be a bit more sensitive to Eric. I just hope CJ does not just write Eric's gay swing as a side-effect of Tequila, because Alcohol might loosen the tongue, not the pants. The sexually charged scene with Eric may highlight something else about this story's focus. LTMP was about Brandon connecting into this new world of Rock music and stardom, along with the Nuclear subtext. Changing Lanes could be about the growth in Eric and a change from being a sex craze boy into some one that wants love more than just sex, along with another sub-story that deals with larger consequences of change.

haha! Those poor trophy wives. By the way, here is some interesting things that I can tell so far; I do not think Eric and Brandon will have sex (I still think that CJ has a heart not to hurt our favorite relationship and it is just not your style to force sex on characters; I do not know if you write on nifty though, hehe! ), but the kiss and close skin contact will be something that Chase discovers sooner or later. The scene is not going to fade away, but they can survive this road block in their relationship. A wedding will occur, perhaps not the first run through, because drama and other things will interrupt it. There is going to be a double cross by Scar, when the General tries to rescue his son somewhere down the road. I also expect the plot lines for Keith and Hansen will play an important role in the future. I saw that hint about Jansen doing some type of acting lessons, so I expect some of that stuff will be used later in the plot. Now for Shadey, hehe! Easiest way to blame this on our favorite "shady one" is so simple CJ, add him into the story as Eric's wild and loose boyfriend, then you could get a meta-fictional accusation of blaming Shadowgod and be right all the time about the storyline. Now everyone is looking at me like I have gone crazy, but I think Shady would be good love interest for Eric. You already want to be with him, since you guys "kinda" met during Worlds collide, so why not go the whole nine yards.

That's Scandalous CJ tell us more about you wine bootlegging connections, hmmm! :o now back to the contest. I need to re-read your story a bit more. However, I can bet you my favorite goat that the Wedding will take place; perhaps not as people had expected it, but it will happen.

Well, this chapter was stimulating in many ways. It brought out my inner urges to beat up a couple of homophobic bikers, it made me feel a great deal of honor among Bikers, and the last moment of sex in the woods was one of the most carnal sexual fore-plays that you have done. Poor Chase, his brother is seducing his man, you know what that means; It is time for him to show up, JERRY! JERRY! JERRY! JERRY!...... As in the Jerry Springer show, haha! I am glad Eric is happily out of the closet now, but I think Jensen and Keith would be a better pair to try it out with. Maybe, Eric needs a new threesome, hehe! Don't touch your bro's man.

Hehe! I just found a goat preparation and carving pic: Hmmm....wonder if CJ is really tender! I love my goat too much eat or carve him! We love this goat, so unless he kills our gay characters or closet characters, then we will keep loving him:

Poor CJ, he gets blamed for everything. "Dance with the Devil", hmmm, something evil or is it something compromising? If Brandon is killed, then readers will be flocking into the story in droves just due to shock!!! Killing a popular character is against writing convention, so it will not happen. Don't worry guys, he can't die! Now something about Eric and Tequila gets me thinking there is going to be something happening at the party; I think the Bikers and wild Eric will get along just fine. Without inhibition, just partying for the thrill of partying is a cornerstone of bikers at least as far as I know. Things will be happening next chapter.

Wow, 7k, Congrats CJ!!!! :worship: Now, I was going to roast a goat in your honor of reaching the level of deity like Roman Emperors before, but I seem to have lost him over a cliff, hehe. :P

Well, there is little we can do to protect Brandon, unless we threaten to turn our favorite evil goat into a nice lamb, hehe! :sword: :sword: Come on CJ, do you want to be neutered? :pickaxe:

If we are forming a protective mob, then I'll bring Dolly for back up! By the way, I have guess to what may be done: Cj might That is just my guess. Now to answer an immortal question: How do you get people to respect you and treat you as an equal? There has been no good answers. There is one very scary answer, which most authors would not want to approach without care: Power. Either through fear, manipulation, a combination of influences, or personal will are the only things that have been proven to establish long term equality. How can the gay characters gain acceptance and Eric, who is scared straight, do that without compromising their integrity? A social populism like that the Beatles enjoyed may work in combination with another person or organization with focus to establish it into an ideal.