W_L

Drag=Rainbow Summer Porn=Lucky Raymond I had a few pets that I do not know if I would classify them as boy or girl, so this might be strange. My first three pets were named Rainbow (Not joking either, ugh, I should have seen my gay signs earlier, right)

Sticks and stones can break my bones But words hurt most of all, because they get beneath your thick skin. Words surprise you and hurt you deeper than punches or even a dagger through the heart (coincidentally, I heard it is less painful than it looks, just a warm tingly feeling). Some people may things that hurt you and it will continue throughout all our lives. Shady, I don't know you as a person, but all in all, you are perfectly normal and flawed like all of us. I don't heap praises ad nauseam, you are what you are and I think sometimes people concentrate too much on the ideal of what they rather than face the reality of what they have.

Well said, it was defining moment in our generation. Before 9/11, it was the most traumatic and important event in my young life. I was in middle school at the time and still remember for days afterward the fear that people kept. Fire alarms with bomb threats became a way of life; perhaps, the best name for our generation is the Generation of Terror. I'm happy to know that people have grown through such tragedy and lived on after the trauma. I agree with the sentiment that teaching others to accept differences would be good to prevent future incidents. I just wish those words did not fall on deaf ears. My high school after Columbine did have a full hour program each term about guidance counselors and not discriminating others with issues, but you know something; most people after the first two "seminars" brought their gameboys or just fell asleep after hearing the same message. It's reality that I am sorry to be the bearer of bad news for. I wish people cared more even after the drama was over.

I was addressing a point made on my prior blog entry from Old bob and somehow I broke into a poetic verse. The nature of conflict: To ignore conflict is a human reaction to seeing too much in their lifetime. To accept conflict as a burden needed for the future of mankind is to have hope Well that is divine Peace will not occur in your time Peace will not occur in my time It comes to whether we are ready to fight for this concept, we call peace Knowing it may fail Knowing it may succeed That we become human in our fullest range of emotions and life That we become closer to nature and closer to breaking the cycle nature has rendered us in

Happy Birthday Kurt, enjoy oncoming Seniority!

This might be my shortest entry, but I just feel like saying it. The world is sad. You hear far too many tragedies created by human beings. There are far too many injustices in this world and far too many false beliefs that must be fought. Yet, how can we struggle against such a sad world. I am going to place here, President Kennedy's Inaugural address on why we must continue to fight:

Let me make some straight jokes :lol: :lol:

I love gay Humor: Now for a little language training in Gay speach: Haha! I never knew about gay language. Now, seriously, there is gay cultural history, which has changed over time. There are subtle changes over time, which is interesting historic convention.

I hate double posting, but I needed to announce this. I will continue this story, because I can't stop thinking about it. My other stories will be placed on hiatus; the finished chapters will be edited and posted as soon as I can. I'm sorry to some of my loyal historical fiction readers, but I have to do this for this story. It may not be the best way to deal with a severe case of writer's obsession, but I have no choice. The way I wrote this story and the way the characters have now ebbed themselves into my thoughts; I need to see it through.

Every time I blog it seems to be a plug for my stories; Damn! I don't like to blog like this, but this one is scaring me. Well, let's see, talking about my new story, which is haunting me. I can actually see it happening and unraveling in my mind so clearly that it gives me the creeps. It's like sympathy, horror, and an inner sense of satisfaction, when I re-read what I wrote and posted. There's something in that story that makes me feel like I really constructed my own world; a tragedy complete with nuances. Then, there is the part of me that says; it's all just fiction; it will never happen. Yet, I keep thinking back to it. There is an old line: I am bothered by it, because I really feel support for my character and think what he is doing is right. He is taking the worst in our society and punishing them in a way that our justice system due to bureaucracy and laws could not. How can I really argue against such a high truth? That's the problem and the darkness that I am feeling in my story, it is not whether he is doing good through such actions, but whether the good he seeks to do is actually something much more sinister in our complicated world. If I just had him go around killing evil religious figures and neo-nazis, then everyone would say I am cliched and the story would fail to me at least on so many levels. Yet, what I wrote and unravelled is complex web of men striving to do good in this world through the corrutpion that inhabits it. Adding the political intrigue, which was subtly hinted into this story, marginalized my character genuine heroic mission to fight against these people who hid in the shadows of justice. Then, I draw another parallel as whether gay rights can become a hired gun in a metaphoric sense of a political faction, who had ulterior motives to take out their competition, silently? This story haunts me on so many levels, because I wanted to make it dark; I wanted to make my characters flawed in every way possible, but amazingly talented in their own pursuits. I wanted the plot to be devestating and people to feel empathy towards the characters for their loss, but the subtext and the politics behind the events are so cold and frighteningly calculated by my subconscious. Each of my stories are researched before I write them in one way or another, but I feel something special and dark in this one that is drawing my attention back towards it. Perhaps I need to take a vacation from writing, because I feel like I have seen the devil's argument and I actually thought he wasn't completely wrong.

For me, I guess I write for myself, but I also write for the thrill of the challenge and thinking of new plots. There are an infinite amount of possibilities in this world and you cannot discount any of them. I can write the standard happily ever after story, but if I do that then I can only write them in very short bursts (Now I revealed how I write my vignettes, hehe), because it is hard for me psychologically to write a long term story with happy characters and no conflicts. I know readers want a story that will make them feel better about their lives and maybe have imaginary characters, they can connect with, but I don't think that's a realistic or good idea. I applaud you for opening up challenging stories with ideas and things people should be challenged with. I enjoy fantasy and fiction, but the best stories are based on a reflection of life, which cannot preclude the sadder aspects just due to a fear within the reader's mind.

Mark, The personal decision to leave anything is never easy or simple. When you become part of a community; you give a part of yourself into it. If you leave, you leave a portion of yourself behind, which lays dormant for your eventual return. Nostalgia, remembering the good times, or as the teenagers call it with the idea of "Retro", you yearn for the past seeking that piece of you left behind. An online community creates roots for people and it will continuously draw and cause others to leave at least temporarily. I have yet to meet some one that does not yearn to return after a period of time. I consider that to be the most influential part of human nature in the online environment; there's never a definitive departure, unless the person dies, or definitive return, unless the person personally say I'm back.

I really don't have to say much about this story. I am hoping you guys will provide input and either be scared at how much you empathize with Mark and his cause or how twisted my dark stories really are, since there are so many levels that this story will hit you on. This is my first true Dark Story before Conscience will get release.

Ouch, I guess you are not going to be a fan of Love and Again. Lucky, I wrote outlines for everything else.

Hey, I want to protect my pink elephants! (Oh wait, not a political statement) If he likes experimenting with the boys, then fine let him, what is wrong with a gay elephant?

Most Republican would be angry with the video you linked Tim. Comparing Republicans to Nazi's is not going to win anyone friends. I wouldn't think too much of it from your friend. It's a defense mechanism, which the republican voters want to insulate themselves. I am not one of those that can't take a pot shot. I disagreed with the Patriot Act and I know other Republicans argued against it, too. It was an idiotic act that was half-ass. Most urban middle class Republicans are smart and contrary to most beliefs, not anti-gay or anti-abortion; although, I am against unlimited abortion on principle. However, the south is not a place where these conventions work.

It happens; I will be awaiting more of your stories as they come. Long stories take longer to write and you build a connection writing them. My best advice is just go with your heart, not plans.

I forgot to open discussion last night during posting. I love historical writing, but I am also into a lot of other things in connection to culture. The gay porn industry is one genre very few writers want to touch (I noticed that outside of some slash fiction, no one really touches it); it's dark, depressing, and on some levels inspiring. One of the first things I did as a gay teenager even in the closet was watch some gay porn. I can relate to the fantasy and imagine myself in the scene. I read some biographies and saw documentaries on some of the gay porn stars in the current industry. There are very few happy endings in real life. Too many came in to the industry as washed out idealist heading to LA for a chance of fame. Chi Chi La Rue was my inspiration for the drag queen director/producer; some of his/her actors do call her "mom", which is kind of funny. The critique on the movie's plot was from Little Big League (the gay porno, not the child's film), which had all the industry nuances and hot muscular guys, but very bad presentational plot. The scene that inspired me during the run got me thinking and connecting point A to point B (Two hot guys running in short shorts=Gay Porn, odd connection); then I wrote this story on the run literally. In my original ending, it was more open; Matthew let Brett in the car and they drove onto Sunset Blvd (bad pun!). My true ending now is more depressing and much more realistically human. Brett cannot handle the harsh reality that LA and gay porn really represents. I bet there are plenty of these kinds of stories in the real world; we never hear about the guys that never made it. Matthew is speechless, but he continues to do what he is paid to do without "real" emotion. So on one hand I broke conventions and wrote something with a sad realistic ending that will most likely get me stoned in West Hollywood. On the other hand, it is a cautionary tale that people must understand about reality versus fantasy, keeping hopes tempered, and not allowing false reality to control your will to life.

Umm, D&B, I think you left two stories out. Multi-Mapper has "Frontier" and "Camp Little Eagle". "The Unit" by Roland, my friend and the guy, who is publishing my story on his site. "Engage" by Eric is left open to interpretation. CSU has covered half the globe, except South America, Africa, and Asia are the only areas not in the story yet. (Yes, Antarctic is CSU, you will not believe it until you read Ark). Sentenced to life, Memories, Ark, and the Unit (Sequel, Camp Bam Bam are the core four stories. Everyone comes together later on, but it's different points of the stories. Out of the past, One door close, and silver dragon are ancillary stories, necessary to understand later plots, but not necessary for overall story frames in the core four. Additional stories like Jigsaw, Sar'en, be careful what you wish for, and other recent stories are new ancillary stories, which i am more than betting the odds will introduce a new plot soon. It's a giant reading, so I will say get plenty of coffee.

Bogart impression- "Michelle, I think this is the beginning of a beautiful friendship" Honestly, a caring, honest, and good friend is hard to find. The sleeping together part has not affected the way you two act around each other, another good sign. I wish I had your boy in my life.

I prefer mature chickens, not too small or young, and not too old as cocks get pushy, before I fry'em up. I've been burned as well by guys, when I started out, but now I am fine with it. It happens and you don't forget about it; you just block them on AIM.

Thanks, it's a bit different than most of my other installments and it is also my last Ancient Greek based story. The focus needs to switch to a new perspective and new area of interest. On the story's plot: I inherently added a subtle dislike for Athens, which was a very open society at one point, where homosexuality was accepted for a time, then slowly the people turned against both the practice of Homosexuality and Pederasty. Thebes would be the real home for any type of equality between gay men. Athens is going to be visited in another story, but for now, I leave it. Greece was the ancient birthplace for many of the ideals of western civilization, but it also spawned some pretty bad habits. Non-consensual child abuse being one highlighted in my latest chapter. On the characters: If you have not gotten the idea yet through my writing, then it should be pretty obvious from my personal beliefs. I started these guys off in a traditional top/bottom relationship and they change and reform over time to be more than just top/bottoms relationship based on society, culture, and situation. I do agree that some people are inherently more of a bottom type like H'Ajar, Aeolus, and his future forms, but it does not preclude them from taking on top roles as well. Others like Paki, Heracles, and his other forms are mainly tops, but they also desire to love their partners in all ways possible. It's much more than a sexual dynamic; it's a core ideal I believe in that there is no absolute line for people to be a dominant partner versus a submissive partner, which has erroneous flowed through western and even eastern history. Homosexuality, Heterosexuality, or even Bisexuality works well if the particpants are willing to share both pains and pleasures, not merely take control. This story is about as much on relationships as it is about history; we may all have inner tops or bottoms, but love is built on mutual acceptance and sharing. Well hope that adds to the discussion, you can protests my idea if you wish. You can also protest my Iambic, since I realize much later I made a mistake on the feet of poetic movement. Byronic poetry is very difficult and writing it in only 5 stanzas along a short story plot might have been too much for a writer unfamiliar with it.

Chapter 6- Age of innocence is up I dedicate this one to Lord Byron, who is my major inspiration for this Greek tale. I even tried my hand at mimicking his poetry; Britons give me some advice on how to improve my iambic pentameter; it is so hard to get that rhyming scheme right with that many syllables.

Ah, I see where you like my stories from, hehe! James, by the way, Hemingway was on more than just Alcohol, when he wrote Farewell to Arms and his other well known novels. I find it fascinating to learn about other people's literary styles; you get to know a person pretty well by the way they write. Considering we have over a hundred authors here at GA, I wonder how many of us may share a similar interest or a similar line of storytelling?

What's the difference between cliche and something that happens way too much in history? Like, warrior/Knight/Samurai hits it off with peasant/page/student. I mean; it's cliche, but it happened a lot, especially in the case of samurais and their students, who are supposed to develop those relationships. Yeah, I'm defending my cliches as historically relevant. ----- I'll get serious for a moment with a real issue/cliche. There's another cliche I am more afraid to go into as both my own stories and other writers' stories approach this subject a lot in gay literature, Child abuse. It's cliche, but no one is going to say anything against it, nor will I really. It is a fact of our society, not just gay or straight, but the bigger issues of social inequality towards kids that allow this to happen. It is an interesting cliche that has been part of many stories, both real and fiction.