Button - 2. Terrible Twos

Terrible Twos

“That doctor of yours has a screw loose,” Sandy said gently touching Button’s little nose. “There is nothing wrong with this tiny angel. You need to find a different doctor.”

“Mom, he’s smaller than he should be. The pediatrician said he’s in the lowest percentile and he’s not talking yet. He’s mostly just copying our inflections.”

“He can barely stand yet, much less taking any steps,” Graham said his eyes downcast. “It breaks my heart.”

“You said they didn’t find anything wrong with him. His heart is good and there aren’t any other abnormalities, right?” Sandy said firmly. “Craig was a late bloomer too. I don’t think there’s a thing wrong with him.”

“I’m not saying there’s anything “wrong” with Button. The doctor thinks he may have some vision issues as well as delayed development. Button is perfect the way he is, it’s just something we have to keep in mind,” Craig said and got up from the floor. Button was happily chewing on Christmas wrapping paper and waving a small box around. The little boy was in his glory as he watched the adults talk about him.

“The rest of the family is going to miss you on Christmas,” Leroy said with a cough. “I don’t know why you have to go to South Dakota next week.”

“We’re going to Graham’s family this year. Last year he spent it with us. This year we’re going to his family celebration,” Craig said catching his father’s eye and giving him the warning sign. He could sense the anger wafting off his boyfriend.

“It’s little Craig’s second Christmas and I didn’t want him to miss his family,” Leroy scowled.

“They are going to Graham’s folks this year. Case closed,” Sandy said. “Besides, we’re having a nice Christmas party right now. Just enjoy it.”

“Little Craig shouldn’t be confused by who his family REALLY is,” Leroy grumped.

Craig realized his father wasn’t going to give up until he understood the situation. “Dad, Graham’s family is Button’s family too. Graham’s his father, period.” Craig looked over and saw Graham was indeed fuming. It wasn’t going to be long before he blew. As sweet and gentle as his boyfriend could be, when his fuse was lit, it didn’t take long to blow.

“I guess,” Leroy said after a short silence. “Graham, you are really good with little Craig.”

Craig watched as Graham’s reddening face began to ease. The tension in his shoulders flowed away and a short, stern smile graced his lips. Craig wanted to go over and kiss the cross look off Graham’s face. But, he didn’t want to disturb the concession his father had finally made.

“Let’s have some apple cider and snacks,” Sandy said standing up. Her action broke up the impending confrontation and the four adults went over to the kitchen. Button called out, “Papa,” and held out his arms. Graham quickly turned and picked the little tyke up.

Craig thought, ‘Button saves the day, as usual.’

Sandy whispered to her ex, "You really are a son of a bitch."

Leroy just shrugged.

********************

“How old did you say this child is?” Carrie Holden whispered to her son Graham.

“He turned two a few months ago,” Graham said nervously.

“He’s so small and he isn’t walking yet?” she said pointing at Button sitting quietly on the floor looking at the blocks in front of him. He’d lean over pick up a block and place it next to another one. Then he’d knock them around and giggle to himself.

“The doctor thinks it could be the result of his mother drinking while she was pregnant,” Graham whispered back. “Please don’t say anything about it because we don’t know and it really riles Craig up.”

“I wouldn’t say anything but I’m not surprised,” Carrie said, her mouth tight and eyes judging.

Graham wanted to throw his hands up in despair. His parents were totally fine with his being gay and they seemed to like Craig alright. But, they were very standoffish and cold to Button. His mother had barely touched the little guy before handing him back to Graham.

“You know we’re a family right?” Graham said to his mother. “Button, Craig and I are a family and that little boy is my son.”

“Oh dear, not really,” Carrie said with a rueful smile patting Graham’s hand. “You’ll see.”

Graham watched his mother as she left the room. An empty, dark feeling filled his middle. He’d been so excited to bring Craig and Button here for the holidays and now a sense of foreboding was replacing the anticipation he’d felt. His father, Curt, had refused to hold Button and now his mother was saying they weren’t a real family.

Graham wanted to cry.

“Papa, why are you and Button sitting in here by yourselves,” Graham’s gloom was interrupted. He turned to see a rosy cheeked Craig still in his knitted red and green stocking cap and big Carhartt coat, covered in a light dusting of snow. Craig and his dad had gone snowmobiling this morning. Craig’s face was beaming until he saw the sparkle of tears in his boyfriend’s eyes.

“What’s wrong?” Craig said stepping closer to Graham.

“Nothing. I’m just enjoying a moment of peace and quiet while Button is behaving himself,” Graham lied and put on a brave face. Craig’s worried face softened.

“Oh. Okay. We had a great time sledding. Your dad’s snowmobile has got some real power. We were hill climbing down by the river,” Craig gushed. “You should come with if your mom will watch Button for a half an hour.”

“No thanks,” Graham answered. “I’ll just stay here in the warm house with Button.”

“If you’re sure,” Craig said. “It’s a blast.”

“Get back out there then,” Graham laughed but he thought it sounded hollow. Craig didn’t seem to notice and was back out the door in a flash.

*****************

“This guy is a madman,” Curt Junior said banging on Craig’s shoulders. “I came riding over here and this one was going up a hill that could’ve killed him.”

Graham smiled at his brother, his father, and Craig. Button was in his highchair eating some Cheerios and intently spreading a banana on the tray. Craig had met his parents a couple of times but this was the first meeting with the rest of his family. Graham was worried his high intensity brother would overwhelm his boyfriend but it seems Craig matched his enthusiasm exactly.

“What’s next?” Graham asked trying to get Button to eat as opposed to decorate with his food.

“I wanna meet my new nephew,” Curtie said laughing. “Is this the little guy?”

“This is little Craig, though we call him Button for some reason,” Graham answered.

“Hi there Button. You wanna go outside and go sledding with my boys?” Curtie said.

“Isn’t he too little,” Graham’s father said, worry wrinkling his forehead.

“Naw, get him suited up and he can ride down a little hill with Miah. Jeremiah is my oldest, he’s seven and very responsible. Button would be safe riding with him.”

“Sounds like fun,” Craig said. “You can’t stay cooped up in the house all day. Come outside with us Gray.”

Graham reluctantly relented and got Button dressed in snow pants and coat, his hood tied tightly. Then Graham dressed and they went out into the yard. He saw his brother and Craig racing around on snowmobiles and three of his four nephews were busy pulling sleds up a gentle hill north of his parent’s house. The sun was shining brightly off the white snow blanketing every surface around him dazzling Graham a little. He looked at Button who was looking around at the scene his eyes wide.

He saw his brother waving and speeding towards him from the copse of trees. Curtie came to a stop and lifted the windshield on his helmet. “Let me get Miah over here. Button can go sliding with him and you can ride behind me!” he shouted over the noise of snowmobile and happy screams.

Graham watched as the tallest of the small boys came over pulling a red plastic sled. Now Graham could see a small boy riding in it. He hadn’t seen Jamie since he was a tiny baby.

“Miah, hurry it up,” Curtie called out. “You gotta meet Button.”

After a short time, Miah approached, breathing heavily, though he was smiling and apple cheeked with the cold. “Hi Uncle Gray,” he said.

“Are you sure this is safe?” Graham asked his brother. “Button is really small for his age.”

“Don’t worry about it. The boys will be fine. It’ll be good for him,” his brother said getting off the snowmobile. “Miah, take your cousin Button back to the hill and take it easy on him. Just have him ride with Jamie. Don’t do any hot-dogging, got it?”

Miah nodded wildly in agreement and held out his arms. Reluctantly, Graham handed Button to him. Button looked back at him with wide eyes. “Papa?” he asked.

“You’ll be fine. This is your cousin Miah. He’ll take care of you. Just hold on tight,” Graham encouraged him. “It’s fun.” He watched as Miah placed Button in the sled and Jamie put his arms around him. For a second, Graham could see the little boy looked like he was about to cry, but then it passed as Miah turned the sled. Button looked back with some fear but he was smiling as well.

“Are you sure about this?” Graham said to his brother.

“Just climb on. Leave the boys to get acquainted,” Curtie said and patted the seat behind him. Graham climbed on and noticed Button was still quiet as they approached to top of the little slope. He hoped a tantrum wasn’t about to happen. When stimulated too much, Button would get agitated and that could precipitate a fit. But, it looked like he was still calm and grinning.

Miah pushed the sled and the two boys held each other for dear life hooting as they slowly slid down the hill. At the bottom, Graham heard the loud giggles of the two boys.

He sighed in relief.

“I wanna show you the lake. It’s really beautiful this year all frozen over,” Curtie shouted over the motor’s whine as they sped off through the trees.

The lake was just on the other side of the trees, covered in a layer of light snow. “Is this safe?” Graham asked as they skidded onto the surface.

“It’s been really cold since Thanksgiving. It’s frozen solid,” Curtie answered and the two brothers spun in a circle on the ice. Graham felt that familiar tickle in his guts. The thrill of doing ice spins was incredible. He felt the tension of the past day dissipate into the cold air and powdery snow. He laughed as the snowmobile sped up and Curtie pulled it into another spin.

“I forgot how great this is,” Graham said happily into his brother’s ear.

“It’s great when the weather cooperates,” Curtie said back. “Today’s perfect. Fresh snow, sun shining, and it’s not too cold for the kids.”

“Whoa!” Graham shouted as they jumped up the bank and stopped by a line of bushes. “Should we get back and check on them.”

“You really have become a mother hen, haven’t you?” Curtie teased. Graham’s mood darkened.

“I’m just being responsible.”

“They’re fine. The house is twenty feet away. Mom is watching them from the window and Dad is just circling the hill. Just relax for a few minutes,” Curtie said turning off the engine. There was a whirl of engines and shouts of excitement in the distance but in spite of that, the lake was calm and quiet. The noise seemed even further away than it actually was. Graham did feel his shoulders relax a little.

It felt great.

“I met Craig. He seems really cool,” Curtie said taking off his helmet.

“He is. I’m really glad I met him,” Graham said watching his brother’s reaction.

“We raced a little this morning. He knows his way around a sled, that’s for sure.”

“He surprises me every day,” Graham confessed. Craig’s embrace of the snowmobile and easy camaraderie with his dad and brother was shocking. It was especially weird given his parent’s odd reaction to Button. Graham had been ready for the baby to be embraced and spoiled while Craig was summarily ignored. Strangely enough, the baby was treated like a pariah while his dad palled around with his boyfriend.

“You know, mom and dad have been worried about you?” Curtie said. “They only want what’s best for you.”

“I know. I just don’t know how to take them. Did you know dad wouldn’t hold Button and mom said the oddest thing? She said Button isn’t really my child.”

“He isn’t little bro,” Curtie said but he was smiling. “Not really. She’s worried that you’ll fall in love with that little baby and then if you and Craig don’t work out it will kill you.”

“I’m not that delicate,” Graham answered. His brother’s taking their mother’s side startled him. “I don’t get it. Button is like my own little boy.”

“He’s Craig’s son right? Mom and Dad are convinced you’ll bond with the boy and if Craig decides to be straight again, you’ll be left high and dry.”

“Craig and I are a couple,” Graham said shaking his head. “He’s promised me we’ll be together.”

“Little bro, you’re not married. You’re just playing house together and mom and dad worry you’ll get your heart broken,” Curtie smiled. “Listen, I know you guys are happy and together and all that. It makes me happy for you. Just understand where mom and dad are coming from.”

“I never should have come,” Graham scowled, tears threatening to spill out of his eyes. He didn’t want to embarrass himself in front of his brother but his words hurt.

“Don’t say that. We’re gonna have a great time. Trust me, mom and dad will be loving on that kid of yours before long. I have a plan,” Curtie shook Graham by the shoulder. “You trust me right?”

“Of course,” Graham said softly. “It’s just hard hearing what you’re saying.”

“Remember back in high school how you came out of the closet and those guys wanted to kick the shit outta you?”

“Yeah, but no one ever really hassled me. I kept waiting for them to jump me but they never did,” Graham mused.

“I put the fear of God in them. Told those assholes they’d have broken limbs if they fucked with you. I had your back then, I’ve got it now. Believe me?” Curtie said firmly.

Graham wiped his face and nodded.

“Good, cuz poor mom and dad could never handle the two of us when we worked together,” Curtie’s smile warmed Graham’s heart. He nodded more confidently now. “Okay, let’s get the boys into the house and mom and dad won’t know what hit them.

Graham quickly grasped his brother as he started the snowmobile and they hightailed it back towards the house. The cold air dried the residue of tears from his face. The tingling feeling of elation returned as they spun around trees and returned to the yard.

************************

“Come ‘ere Button. Let your uncle Curt carry you,” Graham’s brother said reaching out to the little guy. Button looked at Graham who nodded encouragement and he let himself be picked up. “Now, you get Jamie and just follow my lead. Miah, watch your brothers and come in after you’ve put the sleds away, K?”

Miah nodded and shouting ran toward the hill.

When the two brothers got into the house, they saw their parents standing in the kitchen. Curt was chomping on a mint, like he always did, and looking somber. Carrie had her arms folded tight against her chest, a sour look on her face.

“That’s some perfect sledding snow,” Curtie said loudly. “Dad, you hold Button for a minute so I can get these boots off. Don’t want to mess up mom’s nice clean floor.” He thrust the little boy into Curt’s oil stained hands. The man took him without a word looking surprised at his wife.

“Here mom, take Jamie,” Graham said holding the little boy out to her. “I’m not used to fooling around in the snow.” The two brothers took their sweet time unlacing their boots and struggling out of heavy winter coats. While they did so, Button began to whimper and squirm. Big Curt cooed soothingly at the little guy and Button settled down, placing his cheek against his flannel shirt.

Carrie couldn’t help but giggle as Jamie kissed her cheek. Graham and Curtie watched as their parents attended to the little guys. Curt rubbed his nose in Button’s thin brown hair. He had a smile a mile wide on his face.

“Jamie and Button are pertin’ near the same age,” Curtie said after carefully placing his scarf on a hook. “They’re gonna have lots of fun together.”

“Jamie’s what, three months older,” Graham said warming to his brother’s game.

“Yeah. He’s a little bigger,” Curtie said.

“He’s a lot bigger,” Carrie said looking between the two.

“Yeah, well, kids develop at different rates. Remember, Graham didn’t start growing until he was close to sixteen,” Curtie said holding his mother’s eyes with his own, daring her to continue.

Carrie’s eyes dropped first and she nodded. “I guess so.”

“That was fun,” they heard Craig booming voice announce behind them. “I haven’t gone snowmobiling in a couple years. Where did you two disappear to?”

“We went on the lake and did some louie’s,” Graham answered laughing.

“Yeah, I didn’t know if it was safe so I just drove around it,” Craig said. “I wanna go for a spin on the ice.”

“Maybe later. First, let’s get some lunch. Mom, you got any food in the house?” Curtie said. “All the cousins are gonna be starving after all the sledding. Right Button?”

“I’m sure I’ve got a little something for my hungry boys,” Carrie laughed. She set Jamie on the floor and he scooted off toward the family room and the box of toys under the bay window. Big Curt looked to Graham and started to hold Button out to him.

“Dad, take Button in and show him the toy chest,” Curtie said. “I’ve got to show Graham something.”

Graham watched as his dad shrugged and talking softly with Button, headed after Jamie to the family room.

“Dad?” Graham called. “Button loves playing with blocks. He likes musical things too.”

Big Curt paused and smiled back at his son.

Carrie snorted. “You played him,” she said but a grin slid across her lips. “He can’t say no to the kids.”

“Yep, he’s a natural granddad. I think he and Button will become the best of buds,” Curtie said. “Now, let’s help mom get some lunch ready. My boys will be in shortly.

*************************

“Button still sleeping?” Graham asked as they drove through Bingham Lake with its ethanol plant spewing a cloud of white water vapor into the cold air about the highway.

“He is. Listen, Graham, you have to let your parents know how much I appreciate their generosity. They gave Button way too much,” Craig said grinning at his boyfriend. “I wish my family was as accepting and open as yours.”

Graham just smiled. He was glad Craig had the normal male obliviousness of all that happened during the Christmas holiday. Curtie’s little plan had worked like a charm with his dad. Big Curt and Button had been inseparable throughout the rest of the visit. His mom’s little barbs had been lost in the frolicking of Curt’s boys and the excitement of the Christmas festivities.

“I’ve been thinking about something,” Craig said softly. He was nervous about what Graham’s reaction would be but he’d been thinking about it the whole trip. Craig had to say something or he was going to burst.

“What?” Graham said and slowed down as they went around an icy curve in the road.

“What if I asked you to marry me?” Craig asked his voice unsteady.

Graham felt his breath catch, his voice box freeze.

“We’ve been together more than a year and a half and I can’t imagine my life without you,” Craig’s husky voice quivered. “If you don’t want to, I’d understand.”

“No!” Graham said suddenly. “If you asked, I’d say yes. I-I’m just surprised.”

“You would? You’d be willing to put up with me and Button?” Craig said and he wiped a tear away.

“Yes, I would love to take care of you and Button,” Graham said. “Could you put up with me and my temper?”

“You don’t have a temper. Okay, you do but it’s just another part of you I love,” Craig laughed.

Graham cleared his throat. “So, are you going to ask me or is this just theoretical?”

“I’ll ask but not while we’re driving on an icy road,” Craig said. “And, I’d want a nice bed nearby because if I’m springing for an engagement ring, I’ll want to get me some,” he tickled Graham who shouted for him to stop.

“Not while I’m driving,” he laughed.

“No, not while you’re driving,” Craig boomed.

Button yawned, stretched his little arms, and cooed as he fell back asleep. He was remembering Jamie’s hugs and the fun presents. But, what Button really loved was the man who smelled like mint and motor oil. His arms were so cozy, like Papa’s.