Puppilull's poetry prompts - 1. Poetry prompt 11 - Haiku #2

On 07/08/2015 06:44 AM, Valkyrie said:

The formatting came out a little funky, but it's a lovely poem. I'm glad you decided to post it. Welcome to the club!

Thank you! The formatting is driving me crazy, especially since form is so important to a haiku. I'll have to wait and log in from a pc to fix it. My phone isn't enough...

Editing it will be easy, Puppilull. Congratulations on taking the plunge. Both haiku are terrific. Here's to many more

Two very good haiku. Excited to see what's next. Congrats again on becoming an author.

The poem's in a straight line but thankfully the capitalization helped out. It should be easy to edit, though.
The haiku's rather clever. Looking forward to what else you write.

On 07/08/2015 09:16 AM, Headstall said:

Editing it will be easy, Puppilull. Congratulations on taking the plunge. Both haiku are terrific. Here's to many more

Thanks! It is kind of addicting, this writing business. The haiku is liberating in its format. If you can't write just anything, I find it easier to write something!

On 07/08/2015 01:19 PM, Defiance19 said:

Two very good haiku. Excited to see what's next. Congrats again on becoming an author.

Thanks! Next step? Maybe I should try some other prompt.

On 07/08/2015 05:39 PM, thecalimack said:

The poem's in a straight line but thankfully the capitalization helped out. It should be easy to edit, though.

The haiku's rather clever. Looking forward to what else you write.

Thanks! I'll try to solve the format issue. It takes away from the effect of the text.

Well, I think you posted one originally. Now, coming late to the review-it party, I can say all THREE are great. The tapping of the fly is particularly Japanese, and through all of them you have tapped into the Zen spirit of Basho's lack of and 'I' witnessing the event - that is very impressive for someone just starting out with it. Also, your seasonal references are spot-on too, as 'fly' speaks of summer just as well as 'rose' or any old other thing to be seen in warm months.

Thank you very much for taking the Poetry Prompt challenge No. 11 (and don't forget to 'like' them as you go )

On 08/26/2015 09:16 AM, AC Benus said:

Well, I think you posted one originally. Now, coming late to the review-it party, I can say all THREE are great. The tapping of the fly is particularly Japanese, and through all of them you have tapped into the zen spirit of Bash's lack of and 'I' witnessing the event - that is very impressive for someone just starting out with it. Also, your seasonal references are spot-on too, as 'fly' speaks of summer just as well as 'rose' or any old other thing to be seen in warm months.

 

Thank you very much for taking the Poetry Prompt challenge No. 11 (and don't forget to 'like' them as you go ).

Thank you! Your encouragement and enthusiasm make me want to fo them all! I try to follow the "rules" so I can learn something. I in fact now finally understood a scene from the Simpson's! Lisa sneaking in to a poetry reading in college and a few guys stand up shouting "Basho" with those letters painted sports fan style on their chests. So learning all the time...