Puppilull's poetry prompts - 8. Poetry prompt 6 - Elegy

That perfectly decribed my fear, trepidation and then my joy when I "met" my daughter for the first time. The only difference was I was Mama Bear to your Tigress

On 08/31/2015 05:40 AM, LitLover said:

That perfectly decribed my fear, trepidation and then my joy when I "met" my daughter for the first time. The only difference was I was Mama Bear to your Tigress

All firece mamas!

In this one, I tried to build on what I learned from the earlier prompts. The poem probably needs to be edited and shortened, but I was too fond of all the stanzas to cut any. The difficulty of writing about something so emotional...

Thanks for your review!

Thank you for taking the poetry prompt challenge! I think this is a perfect response as the theme is remembrance. What a wonderful link for us readers to see your emotional life at that 'fearsome' moment. I think you capture the first glimpse very well.

The elegy stanza having a rhyme scheme of a-b-b-a is a challenge, and you did well with the kissing rhymes (the b-, as those are the most challenging to look 'right' in the lines.

I hope you liked this exercise, and I hope you practice a little more with it. This is the kind of effort that will help you if you go on to tackle the Sonnet challenges

Something in you shifts, doesn't it? And suddenly it's all wonderful and scary and real.
Another good one...

On 08/31/2015 11:16 AM, AC Benus said:

Thank you for taking the poetry prompt challenge! I think this is a perfect response as the theme is remembrance. What a wonderful link for us readers to see your emotional life at that 'fearsome' moment. I think you capture the first glimpse very well.

 

The elegy stanza having a rhyme scheme of a-b-b-a is a challenge, and you did well with the kissing rhymes (the b-, as those are the most challenging to look 'right' in the lines.

 

I hope you liked this exercise, and I hope you practice a little more with it. This is the kind of effort that will help you if you go on to tackle the Sonnet challenges

I'm glad you said that about the b-b lines. Those were hard! You have no idea how many times I've read this aloud to myself, counting and tapping my finger... I thought it was just me, but to hear it is difficult makes me feel bettt. Maybe not sonnet-ready, but I'll keep going anyway!

Practice is needed. I only have to find the time...

On 08/31/2015 03:00 PM, Defiance19 said:

Something in you shifts, doesn't it? And suddenly it's all wonderful and scary and real.

Another good one...

Exactly! A very strange feeling of life taking over and you just have to tag along.

Thanks for your review!

I'm a man, so it's different, but then again, not so much. I remember my very first ultrasound. I was astounded that my baby could move freely. I had pictured her stuck against the wall of the mysterious womb, held in place by some kind of glue. I fell in the love in that first glimpsed heartbeat. She became real. She may not have been in my body(thankfully), but she was every bit as much mine. My heart claimed her that day, and she has been a blessing ever since. Thanks for taking me back, and in such a beautifully expressed way... I loved this immensely... cheers... Gary

On 09/02/2015 04:27 AM, Headstall said:

I'm a man, so it's different, but then again, not so much. I remember my very first ultrasound. I was astounded that my baby could move freely. I had pictured her stuck against the wall of the mysterious womb, held in place by some kind of glue. I fell in the love in that first glimpsed heartbeat. She became real. She may not have been in my body(thankfully), but she was every bit as much mine. My heart claimed her that day, and she has been a blessing ever since. Thanks for taking me back, and in such a beautifully expressed way... I loved this immensely... cheers... Gary

Thanks for your review! I don't think there is such a big difference, not since my hubby flat out fainted when the ultrasound of our second child indicated there was something seriously wrong (luckily, there wasn't). To me, that instant, physical reaction made it clear he already loved this baby.

So you may not have the nausea or the swollen feet, but they invade you too instantly mind, body and soul. The love is just there.

I love the thought of a baby glued to the womb. The idea of having another human being inside your body for 9 months is in itself a mind boggling thought, so it's hard for anyone to make an image for themselves about what's going on in there...

Excellent! Nice natural flow and I love how the first bits were vague enough at first to let us experience a wispy shadow of the big realisation that dawned on the narrator through those stanzas.

On 01/11/2016 04:18 AM, Doctor Oger said:

Excellent! Nice natural flow and I love how the first bits were vague enough at first to let us experience a wispy shadow of the big realisation that dawned on the narrator through those stanzas.

I'm happy you thought it flowed. I find that's one of the toughest challenges, to achieve flow in another language. And you're right. It's a pretty big realisation...

Thanks for reading and reviewing!

I was touched and delighted with this, a poem which remembered joy, not pain. Thank you!

On 09/27/2016 11:19 PM, Parker Owens said:

I was touched and delighted with this, a poem which remembered joy, not pain. Thank you!

I'm happy you enjoyed my poem of joy. Sometimes I find we focus too much on the bad things that occur in our lives. There's a lot of beauty and happiness out there too!

Thanks for reading and reviewing!