Unforgivable - 29. Chapter 29

Chapter 29

Corey was running away. He knew he was being a coward, but couldn’t seem to stop. The streets were a blur of buildings and pedestrians as he raced over the pavement. Curious gazes from passersby barely registered as tears blurred his vision. How could Jason do this to him? To them? Was that why he didn’t answer his phone? Who was the man he was kissing? Questions swirled through his mind as his body’s flight response took over, attempting to protect him.

The pain was nearly unbearable as he legs tried to outrun his breaking heart. What the hell was he going to do? They lived together now for Christ’s sake! Why had he asked Jason to live with him? Stupid… so fucking stupid. Never trust a cheater. Cheaters never change. How could he forget that? How could he have been so goddamned stupid?

It was getting harder to breath. His overtaxed body teamed up with the crushing pain to steal his air. He slowed to a walk as he gasped for breath, trying to slow his stampeding heart. His oblivious state of mind was interrupted by the screech of tires and the scolding of a car horn. Waving apologetically at the driver he stepped onto the curb. He was going to get himself killed if he wasn’t careful. Finally taking in his surroundings, he realized he had no clue where he was. He didn’t even know which direction he’d run when he bolted from the bar.

Is Jason trying to find me, or is he with his hook-up for the night? He thought bitterly, even as his heart protested the very idea. Scrubbing tears from his cheeks he looked for the closest street sign. He was at the corner of Church and Wellington. Although he recognized the street names, he didn’t know Toronto well enough to find Jason’s hotel, or the lot where he’d left his car. Acknowledging his need for help, he hailed a passing cab and climbed in. After giving the driver instructions he closed his eyes and leaned back against the seat. He had been so happy this afternoon. How had things end so badly?

As the streets passed by, and lights flickered behind his closed lids, he thought back to the scene he’d walked in on. Pain burned like acid through his chest as he relived the memory of the man he loved in the arms of another. Asshole! More tears leaked out, despite his attempts to stop them. This fucking hurt.

Numbly, he exited the cab when the vehicle stopped, tossing a twenty at the driver, not caring about the change. He walked to the lot where his car was parked and sat inside without putting in the key. He knew he was too upset to drive right now. Time wasn't important in his morose mood, so he had no idea how long he sat, replaying the night over and over again. The happiness he'd felt when leaving Pierre’s, to his devastation upon walking into that damned nightclub. Furious, he pounded his fists against the steering wheel, screaming out his anger and his grief. Finally looking around, he wondered if someone would call the police on the crazy man. It would be the perfect ending to his shitty night. Eventually he calmed enough to realize how much his hands hurt. Cradling them against his chest he shook as the tears came. They did nothing to wash away the misery.

The phone buzzed in his pocket, startling him. The caller ID displaying Jason’s name didn’t surprise him. Of course the man was going to try to bullshit his way out of this. Took the guy long enough. What could he possibly say to explain away what happened? Snarling, Corey silenced his phone and flung it onto the passenger floor. Fuck Jason.

His mind kept trying to return to his worst nightmare, but he refused to let it happen. Jason being intimate with another was not what he wanted to see over and over again, but apparently his treacherous brain disagreed. His heart ached over what they had shared… how much he loved the man… how much he thought Jason loved him. Was it all lies? How could Jason love him and still do this?

The beep of his cell announcing an incoming message pulled him from his mental spiral. He glared at the offending device, knowing without looking it was a message from his ex-boyfriend. What could he possibly say to fix this? Corey stared at the phone for several minutes before curiosity got the better of him. Reaching over, he picked it up and pulled up the message screen.

“Please let me explain. It wasn’t what it looked like. I need you to trust me. Please. I love you, Corey.”

Corey's eyes watered. He hurt so much it felt as though he was suffocating. He knew he loved Jason, loved him with all his heart, but could he trust him? Could this all have been a misunderstanding? What should he do? His mom trusted her cheating bastard of a husband, and look where that got her. Corey loved his mom, but she’d let herself be a doormat. He didn't want to make the same mistakes she had… but Jason was NOT Ian Smythe. Yes, he'd cheated before, but that was a lifetime ago… when he was young and foolish… wasn’t it?

His heart thudded faster as he recalled his life with Jason. The mind blowing sex, cuddling on the couch, laughing over dinner, being wrapped in strong arms all night long… the love. That Jason would never cheat on him. His heart knew this to be true. So what the hell happened tonight?

Pushing back the hurt, Corey replayed the moment he had walked into the club. He’d been scanning the room for his boyfriend, and spotted the big blonde quickly on the far side of the bar. Jason's back was turned as he argued with a guy across the room. Corey’s eyes widened as he recollected wondering why his boyfriend was so upset. Jason’s shoulders appeared tense and his back was ramrod straight. It wasn’t the stance of a man about to kiss someone.

Corey’s breathe sped up as the rest of the scene unfolded in his mind. The stranger had grabbed Jason behind the head and kissed him… Jason's arms were still stiff at his sides until he pulled away seconds later. Oh God, could he have been wrong? Had he misjudged the situation so badly?

Tears streaked down his cheeks as his brain caught up to what his heart already knew… Jason did not kiss that man, it was the other way around. The love of his life would never purposely betray him… he promised… and Corey needed to take a leap of faith. He needed to trust his boyfriend, the man he loved with all his heart. The desire to see Jason was overwhelming. There was a rational explanation, Jason just needed the opportunity to explain.

Scrubbing away tears, he locked up the car and headed for the hotel. He knew which room Jason was in, so he bypassed the front desk on his way to the bank of elevators. Nerves made him jittery as he tapped the “up” button repeatedly. Now that he’d resolved to trust Jason, he was impatient to get to him.

The elevator seemed to take hours to arrive, and the ride to Jason's floor wasn't much quicker. Why were the damned things so slow? Exiting before the doors had fully opened, he hurried down the hall. He’d barely knocked when the door swung open. The sight that greeted him broke his heart. Jason looked awful. His eyes were red and puffy, and the man looked… defeated.

“Corey?”

“I had to come,” Corey whispered. “I know there’s an explanation for what I saw. You would never betray what we have together. I… I trust you.”

Jason’s sob sounded painful as he pulled Corey into a strong embrace, holding him as if he was never going to let him go.

“Corey… thank God. I thought you’d left me.”

Jason let go long enough to shut the door behind them, and immediately hauled him back into his strong arms. The tremors through the man’s body told Corey how close this strong man was to breaking down.

“I love you. I love you,” Jason whispered over and over again, trailing kissed along Corey’s jaw and throat.

“I love you, too. I’m sorry I took off.”

“It’s okay. You’re back now.” As he spoke, Jason’s hands roamed over Corey’s arms and back, as if trying to reassure himself Corey was really there. “I thought I’d lost you. I know how bad it looked….”

“What did happen, Jase?” Corey eased back, looking into Jason’s distraught eyes. “Who was that guy?”

With a sigh Jason pulled Corey gently towards the bed and encouraged him to sit. “That was Luc.”

“As in your ex? That Luc?”

“The very one.”

“I don’t understand….”

Jason took Corey’s hand in his, and looked him in the eye. “I made plans to go out for Mason’s birthday, like you and I talked about this morning. We went out for dinner and then to the club. I was having a good time with Jamie, and another friend, Paul, but I was ready to leave. Not long before you arrived, Luc approached me and said he wanted to talk. Stupid me, I thought he was sincere and wanted to apologize.”

Corey moved restlessly, staring down at their joined hands. “Does he want you back?”

Jason snorted. “He said he did, but it’s bullshit. Luc was never great with rejection, and is even worse handling disinterest. He wanted an easy hook-up… I wasn’t interested. I think he saw it as a challenge.”

“And the kiss…?”

Jason kept his unflinching blue-eyed gaze on him. “I was starting to walk away and he surprised me. You have to believe me…. I never expected it, and I didn’t want it. I swear I didn’t encourage him. He’s damned lucky I didn’t kick his ass.”

Despite the gravity of the conversation, Jason’s obvious sincerity made Corey feel lighter. The tension dissipated, leaving behind only relief, and exhaustion. “I believe you.” Corey tried to relay all of his emotions through his eyes. “I’m so sorry I left. I should have known you would never hurt me.”

“I get why you ran, Cor,” Jason responded with a tired sounding sigh. He stood and walked to the window, gazing down at the city lights below. “I didn’t answer your call, and then seeing me and Luc. With my track record….”

Corey was quick to react, and stomped to his boyfriend’s side, pulling him around. “You’re pissing me off,” he chastised. “Don’t do that!”

Jason’s wide eyes met his. Tears glistened against the blonde lashes. “What…?”

“Don’t you dare blame yourself. You did nothing wrong. It was a horrible misunderstanding. If anyone is at fault here, it’s me. I should have talked to you instead of running.”

“I know how bad it looked….”

“It didn’t look good,” Corey agreed. “But I told you I trusted you, and at the first real test of faith, I bolted. That’s on me… not you.”

“Cor….”

“Don’t make excuses for me, Jason. I didn’t give you a chance.”

“You’re giving me one now.” Jason’s smile was tentative, but at least it was a smile. “I hate that you had to see that. Luc is a prick. Don’t blame yourself for his arrogance.”

“Okay, let’s agree that your asshole ex is to blame.”

“Sounds good to me.”

Jason kissed him softly. The gentle touches quickly became more demanding; clothes were stripped away and strewn around the room. They somehow made it to the bed, and when Jason finally pushed into him, using hotel conditioner in lieu of lube, Corey cried out in sheer bliss. He couldn’t believe he’d ever considered giving up this connection. Jason moved above him as he nipped and licked Corey’s neck and chest. The sounds of their lovemaking echoed loudly in the room. Corey knew they were both desperate to reclaim what was almost lost. It didn’t take long before both men were shouting out their release. Panting, Jason rolled onto his back, tucking the smaller man against his chest. They lay quietly for several minutes, while Corey listened to his boyfriend’s heart beating beneath his ear. He smiled when he felt Jason press a kiss in his hair.

“I love you… so much.”

“I love you too, Jase.” Corey moved so he could rest his chin on his hands, over Jason’s chest.

“You never did tell me... what are you doing here? Not that I’m not happy to see you,” Jason amended quickly. “But the message you left was light on details.”

Corey chuckled, and related his conversation with Pierre and about how much he’d missed his man. Jason’s smile was pleased, with only a hint of smugness as he grinned down at the brunette. “So you missed me?”

“You know I did.” Corey tapped Jason’s peck in mock irritation.

“I missed you too. Despite what happened, I’m really happy you’re here. If I knew ahead of time, I would have bailed on the birthday bash, and we could have done something fun together.”

“Well, I did call,” Corey said quietly, wondering again why Jason hadn’t answered.

“After the conference I got pulled into a meeting with the partners. I was running late for Mason’s dinner, and left my phone in my suit jacket. I didn’t realize I didn’t have it until I was already in the cab.” Jason sighed and rubbed his forehead. “I should’ve checked my messages before I got into the shower….”

“Hey,” Corey chastised gently. “I thought we agreed you weren’t going to blame yourself?”

“Okay, okay,” Jason said with a laugh, hugging him tightly. “We should get some sleep. I don’t know about you, but I’m exhausted. If we wake up early enough I can take you out for a nice breakfast.”

“Or,” Corey responded, kissing his way across Jason’s chest. “We could order room service and have breakfast in bed. Maybe something with syrup and whipped cream?”

Jason groaned and arched his back. “Brat. How do you expect me to sleep with that image in my head?”

Corey’s laugh ended in a gasp as Jason’s hand reached between them.

“Then again... sleep is overrated.”

Well folks, we're nearing the end of our time with Jason and Corey.  All that remains is the epilogue.  The only decision now is if I should post next Wednesday, as normal, or if I should try to post the epilogue sooner.  
I would like to send a big thank you to my editor and friend, Gary.      Thank you to all of you who read and support this story.